Her Texas Cowboy Protector (The Winchester Cowboys #3)

Chapter Twelve

Landon headed to San Saba for his follow-up appointment for his concussion.

His doctor examined his head and then looked into his eyes. “It’s been two weeks. How’re you doing on pain medicine? That nose still bothering you?” The doctor gently removed the splint from his nose.

“I have some left, but I’m fine.” The last thing Landon wanted was to get addicted to the stuff. He’d removed the packing from his nose after the first week and that had hurt like hell. That had been the last time he’d taken any pills.

“Now, when you come back in two weeks, I’ll check your head again.”

Landon nodded.

“You take it easy on that head, okay? Follow directions and get lots of rest,” his doctor said.

“Thanks. I’ll do that.” He returned to the waiting room, where his dad sat patiently in one of the chairs. Landon still hadn’t been cleared to drive.

Instead of stopping at the ranch house, they continued down to the barn, where his dad loaded up the back of the truck with sacks of feed.

Out of sheer boredom, Landon had taken to riding around the ranch with his dad during the day. He just couldn’t stand hanging around the house after hearing from Natalie that she didn’t want anything to do with him.

He turned to look out his side window and grimaced at the remembered pain of that text. He understood, of course, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. And there was always the chance that she’d never want to see him again. Their terrible experience might have changed her irrevocably.

Later that afternoon, he sighed as his dad finished feeding the last herd for the day and turned back in the direction of Landon’s cabin. When they pulled up out front, he said, “Thanks, Dad. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You’re not coming over for dinner?”

He shrugged. “Nah, I’ll hang out here tonight.”

“Okay, son. Take care.”

Despite the driving restriction, he’d taken to driving short distances on the ranch. Just back and forth to his parents’ house or over to Carson’s place.

He walked inside and got himself a beer from the fridge. After staring around the cabin for a moment, he left his coat on and headed out to the front porch, where he sat in one of the cheap folding chairs. He normally loved sitting out there; it was peaceful and relaxing. But now nothing really made him happy.

He took a sip of his beer and frowned. Natalie, are you getting any better? Will you ever be better again?

Natalie walked into the small office building, dreading the coming session with her therapist.

This was her third appointment, and her first two had been so painful that each time she’d cried most of the hour.

She went to the window and signed in, then tried to read a magazine. But she was too anxious to concentrate. After just ten minutes, however, Dianne, her counselor, came to the door and called her name.

She followed Dianne to her office, her knees feeling weaker the closer she got to the door. She cleared her throat as she sat down on the couch.

Dianne took the comfortable chair across from her. “How have you been since our last visit?”

Natalie swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I’m still having nightmares and waking up several times a night.”

A slight frown appeared on Dianne’s face. “Have you been taking the pills your doctor prescribed to you for sleep?”

“Yes.” She clasped her hands together. They felt clammy and cold.

“I think you should call and tell her that you’re still not sleeping well. You might need a stronger dosage or a different medication, Natalie. It’s critical for your recovery that you get your sleep.”

“I’ll call today when I get home.” God, where would she get the energy?

“Good. Now, can you tell me about your dreams?”

Nausea overwhelmed her, and her hands began to tremble. She clenched them together as she hesitantly recounted the worst of them.

“It’s going to take time to find peace with what happened. You’re doing the right thing by coming here. We’ll work through this.”

Tears leaked from Natalie’s eyes as hopelessness overwhelmed her. “When I think of what could have happened to me, to all of us, I don’t see how I’ll ever feel safe again. And those dead men. God, I was right there. I saw Landon’s knife blade slice through the man’s throat. Saw how the wound gaped open. Saw blood pumping out of him. And Landon, sitting on him, holding him still like it was nothing. I saw the light go out of the guy’s eyes. How can I ever be myself again?” She covered her with her hands as a quiet sob escaped her.

“You may not be the old Natalie, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy. You can find joy in life again.” Dianne’s voice was gentle and encouraging.

Natalie wiped her tears and straightened her shoulders. “I hope that’s true. My parents are devastated. I can’t bear to see how worried they are about me.” She took some tissues from the box on the table beside her and blew her nose.

“They want to support you. Try not to worry about them while you’re healing yourself.” After a pause, Dianne continued. “Last time we spoke, you said that you’d been thinking about Landon a lot. Have you reconsidered contacting him?”

“I think about him all the time.” Natalie sighed. “I just don’t know what I’d say to him right now. My skin crawls when I think about leaving my apartment. I don’t want to be around people. I can’t even think about going back to work. The store’s always packed, and I have to interact with people. It’s not just the analytics, the books. At home it’s quiet, I’m safe, and I can manage. Even coming here stretches my coping skills.”

“What do you think causes this fear, here in Texas where you can expect to be reasonably safe?” Dianne’s face was calm, open, encouraging her to be honest.

Natalie grimaced, knowing that her fear was unfounded. After a moment, she said, “I guess it’s that I didn’t expect to be kidnapped. The men came out of nowhere. I had no control over what happened, and it happened so fast. Afterward, I was completely helpless, unable to protect myself. That was the worst of it. The helplessness and the fact that I didn’t know if there was any hope of rescue.”

Dianne nodded slowly. “And do you still feel helpless, Natalie?”

Fear stabbed her chest. “Yes, I do. Today I’d be just as helpless if something happened here in Austin.”

Dianne was quiet for a moment, as if sensing how panicked Natalie felt. Then she asked, “What can you do about that helpless feeling, Natalie?”

She shrugged, clasping her hands hard. “I’m not sure.”

Dianne nodded. “Here’re some suggestions: There are self-defense classes here in the city that you can take. You can attend a license-to-carry class and purchase a handgun. There are security agencies here that teach kidnapping prevention, and they can show you how to avoid becoming a victim again.”

Natalie pushed her hair back from her face as her mind whirled with these possibilities. The thought of no longer being a target had enormous appeal. “I’ll look into something along those lines. Thank you, Dianne.”

When she left several minutes later, she felt hope for the first time since escaping her captors.

Her heart pounding, Natalie opened the door of the gun store she’d found online the day before.

“Good morning, ma’am. Can I help you with something?” The man standing behind the counter seemed friendly enough, but his no-nonsense, faded BDUs and muscular build were a little intimidating.

She cleared her throat as she approached and said in a firm voice. “I’d like to purchase a handgun and, if possible, get information on a license-to-carry class.”

The man’s eyes narrowed slightly as he nodded. “Okay. Have you ever used a handgun before?”

“No, sir.”

“So, will this gun be for protection or for target practice or for something else?” He leaned both hands on the counter as she stood in front of him.

His gaze was intense, and she looked down. “For protection.”

“Okay. Let me see your hands.”

She held them up for his inspection.

“They’re not too small, and it looks like they’ve got some strength to them. I have something that I think’ll work well for you. Come on over here.” When he reached the end of the counter he said, “I’m Randy, by the way. I own this place.”

She gave him a quick smile. “Natalie.”

Randy pulled out a handgun from the glass case and held it in front of her. “This is a SIG SAUER P365XL. It should fit your hand well. The recoil isn’t bad, either. It’s a good, dependable gun. You won’t be sorry you bought it.”

She took it. It was weighty but not too heavy. And Randy was right. It fit her hand well. “Is there a shooting range I can practice at around here?”

He took out a flyer and gave it to her. “Tell Rex that Randy sent you. He’ll treat you right.”

“I’ll take it and a box of bullets.”

“How about I give you a box of target bullets and some bullets that will work for self-defense? Target bullets don’t have much stopping power but they’re cheaper.”

“Actually, that’d be perfect.”

“Okay. And would you like a holster with that? A lot of people like a belt holster.”

“Yes, that would be great.”

Randy walked back to the center of the counter and reached up to the wall behind him, taking down a nylon holster and putting it with the gun box and the boxes of ammunition. “Before I forget, let me give you this.” He reached around the register and came up with another flyer. “Here’s your license-to-carry class. Jackson’s a great guy. He’ll teach you everything you need to know. The next class is in two days.”

She took the paper, filled with enthusiasm. Everything was falling into place. “Do I need to go to the shooting range before I take the class?”

“Not necessarily. In fact, since you’ve never shot before, I’d say no. Let Jackson show you the ropes first.”

“I need you to fill out this paperwork and initial and sign where I’ve checked it off for you. Then I have to run you through a database before I can sell you the gun. It doesn’t take long, though. Why don’t you look around while I do that?”

“Sure.” She quickly finished with the papers, then turned and headed for the racks of camouflage clothing, surprised to see that there was a whole rack dedicated to women’s clothes. She smiled. Should she get something?

She had been browsing for less than ten minutes when she heard Randy call her name.

He quickly rang up her purchases and smiled warmly at her as he handed her the bag.

“Randy, thanks for your help. I was really worried about coming in here today.”

He nodded. “I’m glad I could help. I hope you’ll feel safer now that you’re prepared to defend yourself.”

She nodded. “Me too.”

When she got home, she felt so buoyant, she decided to text Landon. After getting into her comfy clothes, she sent:

Hey, it’s me. I think I might be on the right track, finally. I bought a handgun today, and I’m going to be taking a license-to-carry class in a couple of days. I’m feeling kind of hopeful. Less scared, too. And I guess I just wanted you to know.

He sent right back

God, it’s great to hear from you! And I’m so thankful that you’re not feeling so scared. I’ve been praying hard for you, Natalie. I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but I just want you to know that I miss you. I hope you continue to feel better, and I hope that your class goes well. Thanks for getting in touch. It made my day!

The corner of her mouth lifted, and she sent back:

I’ve also found a self-defense class for women. I start next Monday night. It’s at a boxing gym, if you can believe that. The guy who teaches it only takes four students at a time, so I’ll get lots of one-on-one with him.

He sent back:

That sounds amazing. I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself this way. I can only imagine what you’re going through. I wish there was something I could do to help. Please just know that I’m here for you. I support you and pray for you always.

The old warmth she’d felt for him swept through her in a wave. Smiling, she sent:

Thanks. I’ll let you know how it goes. I can’t imagine myself in boxing gloves. Maybe I’ll send you a pic. Lol.

He sent:

Yes!

She chuckled and texted:

How’s your head?

He sent:

I’m doing better. I still can’t do any work on the ranch, and I’m going crazy. I ride around with Dad in the truck so I don’t drive Mom nuts. Lol.

She texted:

Hang in there.

Then she set her phone down, feeling better than she had since she’d returned home.

Landon grinned when his dad climbed back into the truck after pouring out feed to the herd. “Dad! Guess who just texted me.”

His dad turned the ignition and chuckled. “Well, judging by that big ol’ grin on your face, I’d say it had to be Natalie.”

“Yes! She said she’s feeling a little bit better. She’s bought a handgun and she’s going to take a license-to-carry class. She’s even taking a self-defense class.”

His dad’s eyebrows rose. “No kidding?”

“It’s true. Dad, I feel so much better. I actually have some hope now.”

His dad pulled away from the herd. “I’m happy for you, son. I know you’ve been worried, and I just didn’t know what to do for you. This is great news.” As the truck sped up, he added, “Be sure and tell your mother.”

“I will.”

When they arrived at the next pasture, he got out when his dad did and leaned against the side of the truck. He read their texts again, then once more. Overwhelmed with emotion, he closed his eyes, praying for healing for Natalie. Praying that her fear would finally go away. That she’d feel safe once more.

Monday night, Natalie wiped sweat from her brow and finished taking off her boxing gloves. Her second hour of class had finished up with a session on the bag. Learning to punch correctly had taken her some time. She’d never realized how much there was to throwing a proper punch. The other women in class had worked as intensely as she had, and she felt that they were as dedicated as she was to learning self-protection.

She was worn out yet exhilarated, filled with a powerful feeling, one that she hoped could soon conquer her fear. She’d thought about Rachel as they’d worked out and wished that she would soon get well enough to come to a class like this. She knew her friend wasn’t doing well. Natalie had given her new phone number to Rachel’s mom and had told her that Rachel could call any time.

When she got home, she took a long, hot shower, then poured herself a glass of wine and snuggled under the blanket on the couch. She kept the heat low when she was away, so the air had a chill in it. She’d left the lamp off in the room, lighting a couple of candles instead, preferring the cozy feeling of the dim light.

Still buoyed and upbeat from class, she texted Landon:

I just finished my first self-defense class. It was awesome. I know I’ll be sore tomorrow, though. And I’m licensed to carry my SIG with me now. I feel more confident when I leave the house, too. I don’t feel the need to look over my shoulder every few seconds. That was a horrible sensation.

He sent:

How exciting! You should really be proud of yourself, Natalie. If you have some Icy Hot, rub it on your shoulders. It helps. I use it after I’ve bucked hay all day.

She texted:

Good idea. I’ll have to get some. How’s your head doing? And how’s your nose?

He sent:

I’m getting well, little by little and my nose is actually straight!

She texted:

That’s great news.

He sent:

Thanks, Natalie. I’m so happy to hear from you. Keep up the good work. I miss you like crazy and pray for your continued improvement. Good night.

She smiled, liking how he never pushed her for more than she could give. He was such a wonderful man.

She took a sip of wine and stared at the candle flame. Still not ready for bed, she settled back onto the couch. She suddenly remembered horseback riding on the ranch with Landon and smiled. That had been such a fun day. Other memories of their time together came to mind, and she realized it wasn’t uncomfortable anymore to think about him.

She tucked a pillow against her tummy and hugged it. She was getting better, thank God. Literally, thank God. He’d been the one to lead her to this newfound strength. She closed her eyes and thanked Him in prayer as peace settled over her heart.