Here’s the Thing (Seddledowne #4)

Chapter 14 – Ashton

fourteen

ASHTON

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.

— JANE AUSTEN

T oday was freaking amazing.

The dogwoods were blooming, the Bobwhites were singing, and Tally had learned how to brand calves. Which, of course, required my hands to guide hers to the exact spot, with precise pressure. But the best part was how she kept stealing glances at me. She seemed at peace here at the ranch. The complete opposite of our date in Blacksburg.

With the cows done, most of my family had headed to their various houses. Theo had gone to Firefly Fields Farm with Silas and Lemon’s boys to watch Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. He and I had conspired to convert them as hard as Blue was trying to turn them into football fiends or Ford was trying to turn them into country music aficionados.

Cute little Charlie, with her long chestnut braids and big brown eyes, rode straight backed between me and the saddle horn, atop Maisy, Mom’s old paint horse. Charlie was dying to learn to ride and I was happy to teach her. She was already a pro at posting.

We’d been at it, in the outdoor riding arena by the barn, for the last hour. I adjusted my Chief’s cap to tip over my face more. My nose was almost healed on the outside. I didn’t need to go burning it. It was the end of April and it was already too hot. Looked like we might be in for a long, humid summer.

Tally watched from her perch atop the woodboard fence as she licked a strawberry popsicle. Ford sat beside her. My baby brother had been spending as much time as possible in Seddledowne since he bought his ranch. Living in the city and constantly traveling on buses and planes was finally getting to him.

He said something to Tally that I couldn’t quite hear. She threw her head back and laughed.

“You better not be flirting with her!” I hollered. “She’s not available.”

Tally winked at me and teasingly laid her head on Ford’s shoulder. “I am for the right guy.”

Ford hooted and made over-exaggerated petting motions against her hair.

She playfully tapped him on the nose with her popsicle. “And he has those pretty eyes.”

“Hey!” I shouted, a touch too irritated. “I have those eyes!”

She petted Ford’s head. “But have you won a Grammy?”

Ford tipped his chin up at me, a cocky grin on his stupid face.

“Will he read you poetry every night before you fall asleep?” I tried again.

Ford cupped his hands around his mouth. “I’ll read her poetry and then I’ll sing her to sleep. With my Grammy award-winning voice. ”

She grabbed his hand. “Oh, would you sing me Whiskey Kisses and Wildflower Wishes ? That one’s my favorite.” She leaned her popsicle toward his mouth. “Here. You can use this as your microphone.”

He took a massive bite, making her squeal. Then she immediately popped it back in her mouth for safekeeping.

“You’re going to catch a disease,” I yelled. “Do you have any idea how many women he’s kissed?” More than kissed. I looked pointedly at him. “Do you know how many women you’ve kissed?”

He laughed. “Somebody sounds jealous.”

“Not hardly.” I scoffed. I only wanted to kiss one woman and she was currently tucked under his arm.

They started swaying back and forth while he sang the song she’d requested. “Your lips taste sweet, girl, it’s no surprise.”

“No lips!” I yelled and Tally laughed.

She joined in the singing. “Wildflowers dancin’ in the summer breeze. Wishin’ on dandelions, just you and me.”

Tally gazed into his eyes. And yeah, that same gaze flashed over to make sure I was watching, but still. The green volcano of jealousy that had been bubbling in my chest erupted with full force.

“Okay, Chuck, it’s time to nip this in the bud.” I tightened my hold on Tally’s mini-me. “Let’s head back.”

She giggled as she pulled the reins in Tally’s direction. “It’s Charlie, Ashton.”

I tickled her sides. “Oh, sorry, Charlie.”

She laughed harder. “That’s the tuna commercial. I’m a girl. Not a fish.” I’d shown her the commercials on YouTube once.

“Right, right, I forgot.” I laughed. “What do we do when we want to make Maisy go faster?”

“I squeeze with my legs. ”

When we got to the rail where Ford was finishing up his love song, I snapped my fingers at him. “Take her.” I pointed to Charlie.

It was one of the few times I’d seen him sober in the last few months. He’d gotten good at faking happiness, but there was a sadness in his eyes that told me he was anything but. He climbed down the fence.

I motioned for Tally to come. “It’s time for you to take a ride with a real man.”

Ford rolled his eyes and laughed. “Fine by me. Chuck and I are buddies, aren’t we?” He reached up for her.

“It’s Charlie ,” she squealed as she fell into his arms.

I looked at my brother. “I was thinking of taking Tally to see the little house.”

His brows flicked up. “Yeah?” He grinned and for the briefest of moments, the sadness disappeared. “Okay.”

He grabbed Charlie’s hand and looked down at her. “You wanna come with me? The little house fridge is stocked full of root beer.”

She cheered and they laughed as they jogged for the open gate.

“We’ll meet you there!” he called over his shoulder. Then they hopped in his side by side and took off.

Tally watched them go, a nervous look in her eye. “He knows how to take care of a kid, right?”

“He helped raise Anna. He’s actually really good with kids.” He was. Probably because he was a little boy in a man’s body. The man loved his toys.

The worry slipped from her face and her expression brightened. “This is going to be a slow, calm ride, right, Cowboy-Professor-Collab Partner-Friend? So many hats, I can’t keep them straight.”

“That’s because a real man is versatile. And yes, we’ll take it easy.” Tally was skittish about a lot of things. Cautious. “You need a Ford detox. I think all his fame is starting to go to your head.”

She blew her lips in a pfft . “Not a chance. That man is on TV and in the news way too much.”

“Oh.” I raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t hear anything about how he’s not your type or ‘not handsome enough to tempt’ you.”

She rolled her eyes. “He’s plenty handsome and he does have that voice. And he’s loaded. Don’t even try to compete with that, Professor Dupree. Use the strengths you do have.”

“And what might those be?”

“Please. Stop acting like you don’t know you’re a ten. All you Duprees are. But you’re a ten and you love books. Which makes you the best Dupree of all.” Then she stood on the second highest rail of the fence and reached for me like she hadn’t just blown my mind.

I’m a ten?

I helped her get settled in front of me. As I reached around her for the reins, her coffee-scented shampoo went straight to my pheromones and hit my heart like a cannon blast, exploding in my chest. I exhaled slowly before squeezing Maisy gently with my thighs to make her go. But Maisy was a runner and any chance she got, she broke into a trot, like now.

Tally tensed, sitting straight up, and dug her fingers into my knees. Waves of heat shot up my legs. I let out an embarrassing gasp. Geez, I was a mess around this woman. Maisy must’ve felt our nerves because she went even faster.

I tugged on the reins. “Easy, Maisy.” The horse quickly slowed to an amble. “Remember, she can feel it when you’re nervous. It makes her nervous and that makes her run.” I was saying it for myself too.

Tally released her grip on my knees. “I’ll remember if you remember that you’re still my professor.”

“Says the woman who asked her professor out.” The tips of her ears went red like they always did when she was embarrassed. I chuckled to let her know I was teasing. “We’re just taking a simple ride. Don’t worry. No lips involved,” I added because I was pretty sure my mad kissing skills were what frazzled her. “Putting on my professor hat right now.”

Now that we were out of the arena, I gave more of the reins to Maisy. “I d-dunno,” her voice trembled. “This feels awfully informal. I don’t think I’d do this with any other professor.”

“You better not.” A growl purred in my throat. “And we were friends before I was ever your professor.”

“Were we though? We didn’t get to know each other until I got to JRC. I didn’t really see you after the day I met you, when we argued about Jane Eyre. It was like you stayed away if you knew I was going to be at the ranch. I saw you once in passing the entire time my mom and I lived at Sophie’s.”

I grinned at the back of her head but coolly I said, “I didn’t realize you noticed.”

“I did.”

Her back brushed against my chest and it took a second to catch my breath. “Did it make you sad that I didn’t come?”

“Kind of.” She glanced over her shoulder, her expression timid yet wistful. “It was fun debating with you over literature…and then you disappeared for a long time.” Her face flamed a beautiful dusty pink.

I smirked. “You missed me.”

She reached back and yanked my hat down over my eyes.

When I’d fixed it and could see again, she was facing forward, shoulders stiff.

“You’re right. I stayed away on purpose.”

Goosebumps sprang up on her arms. “Because I was so young, and you knew you had feelings for me?”

The tightness in her voice made it feel like a trick question. But I was done being anything but honest. That day in her bedroom when I’d bared it all had been really hard. But it also felt like a boulder had been lifted off my chest.

“Yes.”

I must’ve answered correctly because she finally relaxed, her back sinking fully against me. Then she let out a little sigh of happiness. It felt like after all these years, I’d finally slipped the correct key in the lock. Having her between my arms felt right. My insides were a swirl of euphoric peace.

Her fingers feathered over my right wrist where there was a scar remaining from my altercation with the paper towel dispenser. “So, what you’re saying is, you were trying to be a good guy.”

“I always try to be a good guy. I hope you know that.”

“I think I do.” She shrugged. “But I think you should teach me something about literature, you know, in case someone finds out we spent the day together. We can say you were helping me study or something.”

“Okay. Yeah. Let’s do that.” The small creek that was the boundary between Dupree land and Ford’s unnamed ranch was coming up. I shifted the reins to my right hand. “I’m going to put my arm around your waist. Is that okay?” Letting go of the reins with one hand was the opposite of what I should’ve done. But it was a tiny, shallow creek and I needed to put at least one arm around her.

Rather than responding, she picked up my left hand and slid it across her stomach, hooking it around the opposite hip. My stupid heart tried to burst out of my chest the same way the old cartoon roadrunner burst through paintings and invisible brick walls.

Once we were through the water and my heart had slowed a bit I said, “How about I tell you a quote and you tell me what it’s from?” I didn’t move my hand from her waist.

She laughed. “Oh, I am so going to win this.”

“It’s not a competition.” I chuckled. “It’s an exercise. ”

“It’s a competition. And I’m going to win.”

“Fine.”

“Ready when you are.” She leaned her head against my shoulder so that her cheek was resting against mine. I was pretty sure she had no idea what she was doing to me. Or maybe she did and that’s why she was doing it. This girl was a yo-yo and I was here for the ride, as painful as it may be.

I could hit this from two different angles. Make it fun and throw her off with obscure sci-fi quotes, or I could take this opportunity to tell her how I felt about her, without her knowing that’s what I was doing.

Yeah. It was a no-brainer. “Okay. Ready?”

She nodded.

“‘We are asleep until we fall in love.’”

“Tolstoy, War and Peace,” she said confidently.

“‘I’ve always loved you, and when you love someone, you love the whole person, just as he or she is, and not as you would like them to be.'”

“Again, Tolstoy, Anna Karenina.”

I tightened my hold on the reins as we came up into the lowest valley of Ford’s ranch. “‘I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.'”

“ Great Expectations by Dickens,” her voice sounded less sure. She shifted in my arms, the leather of the saddle squeaking beneath her. Crap. Was she already on to me?

I pressed on. “‘I would not wish any companion in the world but you.’”

“William Shakespeare, The Tempest . Wait…” She leaned to the side and glanced over at me. “Why are these all romantic? Are you…” Her eyes turned solemn, almost scared. But then something more burned through. Desire? Hope? Determination? “Keep going. ”

I nodded. “‘They would sit for hours, reading aloud to each other, lost in the timeless world of the written word.’”

“Charlotte Bront?, Villette .” Her gaze skittered over my face, searching. “Is that what it would be like? For real? We’d read together?”

I looked into her beautiful, nervous eyes and said very seriously, “I’m just your professor, reciting literature quotes. But hypothetically, yes, whoever I end up with, we are definitely reading together. We’ll have our very own two-person book club.” I smiled. “Do you want me to stop?”

She shook her head. “No. Don’t stop.”

I hoped this next one wouldn’t overwhelm her. “‘I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.’”

She bit her bottom lip, her cheeks flushing pink. “Henry Ward Beecher, Life Thoughts .”

This next quote was even riskier. It said everything I felt. But it had stuck with me ever since the first time I’d met her. It described that moment in my parents’ kitchen nine years ago perfectly.

My gaze anchored to hers. “‘In that single moment, the course of my life was altered forever. I would never be the same, for she had claimed my soul.’”

Her eyes were more serious than I’d ever seen them. “Ash,” she whispered as she ducked under the bill of my cap and pulled my forehead to rest against hers.

“Tally,” I whispered, my voice almost inaudible.

“Oscar Wilde,” she said, her words a mere tiptoe, her breath puffing against my lips. “ The Picture of Dorian Gray. ”

We stayed that way, forehead to forehead, breathing together. I sure hoped Maisy could do this without me guiding her because I wasn’t going to move a muscle.

After a minute, Tally sat up and I thought the moment had passed. But then she swung her leg over the saddle horn so that she was riding side-saddle, her torso turning to me. She flipped my cap backward. Then her hands hooked around my neck and her nose pressed into my cheek.

I chuckled, my insides going haywire. But, for the first time ever when it came to her, I was feeling a bit brave. “I think she likes me,” I murmured.

She nodded, her nose still smashed into my dimple. “She does. A lot. More than she’s ever liked anyone.” Her words caressed my cheek. “And it scares her.”

The relief of hearing her finally say it hit me like a tsunami. I took a deep, full breath as if it were the first of my existence. Without a doubt, it was the biggest breath I’d taken since the day we met.

We stayed right there, frozen, her nose nuzzled in my cheek, Maisy moving beneath us.

Tally’s thumb traced along my jaw. “ Are you always going to ask permission before you touch me?”

“Yes, if that’s what you want.” I glanced up only long enough to notice that we were entering the field where the little house was.

Tally’s fingernails scraped softly against my scalp, giving me a massage at the nape of my neck. “Even if it’s for the rest of my life?”

That sounded like commitment. Big commitment. I leaned into her nose, fighting off a full-toothed grin. “Yeah. Even if it’s for the rest of your life.”

“And if I wanted you to go to therapy with me, would you?”

“Yes.”

Her fingers trailed along the sides of my neck. “Even if it meant you heard things you didn’t want to hear and learned things that made you uncomfortable?”

“Yes,” I said around the softball in my throat. “I want to know everything. Even the hard stuff. Whatever you want me to know. It’s not going to change how I feel.”

She mulled that over. “And if I struggle and sometimes push you away, you’ll be patient and help me remember you’re a good guy?”

“Yes.”

She leaned back to look me in the eye. “Promise?”

I brushed the tip of my mostly healed nose against hers. “‘I swear by the greatest, grimmest oath that binds the happy gods.’” If she were mine I would jump through any hoop to make her happy.

She smiled. “Homer. The Odyssey .” But then her expression turned sober. “You’re so old though, Ash.”

I scoffed. “This coming from the woman whose favorite book is about a main male character who’s twenty years older than the female main character.”

“It’s a book. Not real life.” She gasped. “Did you just use Rochester to justify your life choices?” She reached down and pinched my sides, making me jerk. “Are you saying you and he have something in common?”

“No. You will never hear that coming out of my mouth. Any man who thinks it's okay to dress up as a fortune teller to mess with a woman's feelings is seriously lacking in the emotional maturity department.” I adjusted in the saddle. “But if you want to make comparisons between me and Mr. Knightly, be my guest. There’s an age gap I can get behind.”

She tipped her head to the side, thinking. “So, if this happens between us, I’m getting my very own regency-type romance?”

“Something like that.” I tugged on Maisy’s reins to slow her a bit, disappointment filling my chest at our ride coming to an end.

“Aunt Tally!” Charlie yelled in the distance, waving. Ford was next to her, grinning like a Cheshire Cat at Tally in my arms.

Tally sat up with a jerk and spun around, legs straddling Maisy in less than two seconds. “Sorry, the lines got blurred there for a minute,” she whispered.

“No worries. I won’t tell anyone.” The tops of her ears turned red and I chuckled, straightening in the saddle.

The house came into view. A Craftsman-style “cottage,” with a rose garden in the front. The billionaire who’d sold Ford the ranch had built it to entice his grown daughter to move here. She never would leave Tulsa though, so eventually he sold the entire ranch and moved to be near her.

Tally gripped my arms and gasped. “Oh my gosh. It’s like a fairytale.” She looked over her shoulder at me, wearing an expression of disbelief. “You don’t want to live here?”

I’d been seriously thinking about it. But I wasn’t going to tell her that.

“It comes with Ford as a neighbor.” I shrugged. “You should’ve seen it a couple of weeks ago. Tulips everywhere.”

She scoffed. “I’d be his neighbor if I could live here. I think he’d be fun to live next to.”

I’d known all day what needed to happen. I’m sure Ford would agree, though he’d flirt with her way too much. Probably try to throw her proximity in my face. Become her bestie and text me all about their conversations.

But she’d be happy here. He’d be happy to have people around. My family would be relieved he wouldn’t be totally alone over here on this huge piece of land.

My shoulders fell in happy resignation. “You should live here.”

“What? No.” She whipped around to look at me. “I couldn’t. I can’t afford this.”

“He doesn’t want any money,” I said. “Correction. He won’t take any money. He just wants someone nearby. He’d love having the kids around. He’s lonely. Why do you think he likes performing? The man needs an audience at all times.”

She turned around, taking in the house and the flowers and adorable Charlie beaming from the white picket fence out in front. It was like something from a sappy Hallmark commercial. Or a Thomas Kincaid painting.

As we rode up, Ford cocked a brow at me. But there was a proud sparkle in his eye.

I pulled Maisy to a stop and pointed to Tally’s head like a neon sign. “I think I found you a neighbor with two cute kids who happen to need a new home.”

I cocked my head.

He looked at me longingly. But then he looked at Tally…

And broke into an excited grin.