Hero for the Holidays (Four Corners Ranch #9)

Chapter Eighteen

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

F IA FELT TENDER and weepy the next day. She knew that Landry was going to come by with Lila because he wanted to talk about something, and part of her wanted to tell him no. To stay away. To give her some time to convalesce.

But she knew she had to be more mature than that. Because this was a decision that she’d made. To revisit the attraction between them. To indulge it. It had been incredible. Everything that she could’ve possibly wanted. Everything. He was so sexy. And he was still absolutely it for her. He fit her body in exquisite fashion. The way that he moved his hands over her skin, the way that he had licked her, tasted her.

Nothing could ever compare.

But there was no way they could come together like that without feelings. The feelings had been very, very potent. A little bit over the top, in fact. But when Landry pulled up, she did her best to pull herself together.

And when he and Lila walked up the steps, she flung the door open and plastered a wide smile on her face. “Hi, there,” she said.

“Hey,” he said. “Good to see you.”

“You too.”

Lila went into the house. She had a favorite spot in the farmhouse, and had a crochet project going, so she was obviously ready to get down to that. It thrilled Fia that Lila was now as obsessed with crochet as she was. They worked on projects together while watching TV in the evenings sometimes.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he said.

She was ready for it to be some strange conversation about last night. She really needed him to not say that he regretted it. Because that was going to make her feral.

And maybe homicidal. And nobody wanted that.

“What about?”

“Lila said that she thought it was weird that we were living apart. And I agree. Us doing things together in Portland... It was great.”

“Yes...”

“Fia, what would you think about me taking a room here at the farmhouse?”

She felt her eyes go wide. “You want us to live together?”

“Yeah. As co-parents, still. I’m not suggesting... I’m not suggesting we jump into anything. But this is a big house, and you’re here by yourself now.”

“You’re a King. You’re working on that barn building project.”

“Most people have a way longer commute than that. Yeah. I am a King. And... We’ve got, what, five years before she moves out? Five years to have this. To make the best we can? Christmas is coming up, Fia. We’re going to, what...have our first Christmas with Lila in separate houses? Or we can get a tree here. Make our Christmas morning here. We can do it all together. If you want to move over to King’s Crest, I’m happy to do that, but that would leave nobody here and...”

“No,” she said. “It would have to be you coming here.”

“Only if you want,” he said. “Or like I said, you can come out to King’s Crest. But we need to do this for her.”

Five years. They only had five years. Not eighteen. They’d missed so much already. Could they afford to continue to be a family separated like this?

He was right. There were divorced couples that were able to do this for their kids.

“I... Yes. Okay. Let’s do it.”

“Where?”

“Here,” said Fia. “Let’s live here.”

T HE NEXT FEW days were a blur. Landry broke it to his siblings that he was planning on leaving the ranch, and they were more than a little bit confused.

“You’re a King,” said Arizona. “You can’t live at Sullivan’s Point.”

“I sure as hell can,” he said. “Because it’s where my child’s going to be.”

“That’s kind of why I live at King’s Crest,” said Micah.

Arizona frowned. “It’s legacy.”

“Yeah, and Elsie Garrett lives at McCloud’s Landing, and so does Alaina Sullivan.”

“You’re not married to Fia,” Arizona pointed out.

“Yes. Thanks,” he said, his teeth gritted. “I’m aware.”

“Are you going to be?” Denver asked.

He realized that actually that would be good. He would like it. But he knew that Fia would absolutely freak out. The truth was, his feelings for Fia were deep. And they were independent of Lila. And as much as he wanted to broach that subject in the name of making a family, he also knew he had to resist the urge to do anything that looked like manipulation. Or anything that looked like he wanted to have more control in parenting Lila, and whatever else.

If he made a move like that with Fia, it had to be about her.

“No plans to.”

“Are you sleeping with her?” Justice asked.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“Well, that means yes,” said Daughtry. “Because if it’s no, you’d just say that.”

“I’m not currently sleeping with her now.”

That was true. Just because they’d had sex the one time in the last thirteen years didn’t mean they were actively sleeping together.

“Something happened,” Denver said.

“None of your business. Also, since when do we do this sharing bullshit? I don’t like it. Cut it out.”

“As it turns out, you had a secret child that you didn’t tell us about. You’re on probation,” said Denver.

“I’m not on probation, you dick. I’m more grown-up than you. Than any of you. Not you,” he said to Arizona. “I’ve got responsibilities other than myself and this land. So I’m going to move in with Fia. So that I can spend the five years that I’ve got Lila at home actually in a home with her. We’re going to have family dinners and...” He realized he didn’t actually know what a functional family did. The Kings had done a pretty good job of assembling something that looked a little bit like one. It was what they tried to do every time they got together. Tried to make some new shape of a family. Because God knew they hadn’t had one growing up. But as he tried to reach for an image of all the things he wanted...

Well, they had something. They really did. And it was... It was good. They had the gecko, and they had stuffed animals. They had dinner together. Sometimes with his family, and sometimes with just Fia. They played card games. They were family. It was strange, the shift inside of him that felt a lot like inadequacy. It was strange to think you were doing well, and then feel like maybe you weren’t good enough. He wondered if that was fatherhood. Parenthood in general. The whole state of it.

Trying. Feeling like you were trying hard enough, even though you were giving all of yourself.

“Well, I guess we’re going to help you move then,” said Denver.

“No more objections?” Landry growled.

“I guess we have to let you fly from the nest,” said Justice.

“There’s no letting me do anything,” he said.

“I’m proud of you,” said Denver. “Because you’re a better man than Dad ever was. And you’re sure as hell a better dad. Having Lila around has given all of us a chance to be better too. We can be good uncles. Even if we’re never going to be dads ourselves. You and Arizona are breaking the curse for us.”

“You never know,” said Landry. “You might find love yourselves yet.”

And he realized he let it slip. The way that he felt.

But it was true.

Always had been.

“Yeah,” said Denver, not looking convinced, but also clearly choosing to not dig out what Landry had just said. “Who knows. Maybe we’ll figure out how to hold it too.”