Hero for the Holidays (Four Corners Ranch #9)

Chapter Twenty

CHAPTER TWENTY

F IA COULDN ’ T BELIEVE when her phone rang and it was the animal shelter with news. Both she and Landry had contacted them and left information, and they were calling to tell them that they’d found Sunday.

Fia was still raw from the Christmas tree experience a couple days ago, but it was a good raw, and this just about made her burst into tears.

Sunday had been adopted, but she’d been brought back when the family had to move. “I need to put a hold on her,” said Fia.

“We can do that. Until the end of the day.”

“Please. It’s my daughter’s dog. My... I just adopted her. But she’s my daughter. She had to give up the dog when her parents died...the parents who had adopted her before. And she got put into foster care so she couldn’t take the dog with her. They took so much from her and I just... I really need the dog.”

The person on the other end of the phone was clearly a little bit confused.

“What?”

“Can you look at the dog’s file?”

She did. “It says here that she was surrendered because her owners died, yes.”

“They had a daughter. My daughter. And she couldn’t have the dog. But now she can. It would mean the world to her to have the dog back. Please. I don’t think we can make it by closing time, but we can drive up there and come first thing tomorrow.”

“Okay. We can definitely hold her for you.”

“Thank you.”

She went to Landry’s house without delay. He was still packing. “Landry, I found Sunday.”

“What?”

“Lila’s dog. They... The shelter called. They found her.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yes. They said they’ll hold on to the dog for us, but I’d need to leave now, and I’d have to stay overnight. I’ll just go and...”

“I want to go with you.”

“What’s she going to do overnight without both of us?”

“We can find out if she wants to have a sleepover at the King house. Maybe Rue will hang out and show her how to make bread.”

“She better not. I want to show Lila how to make bread.”

“Then maybe she can teach Rue to crochet.”

He arranged it, and if Lila thought it was strange, she didn’t say. And before they could really make plans, Landry and Fia were on the road to go and fetch Sunday.

“This is like... Well, it’s like finding Lila in the first place,” she said.

“Yeah. It is. Amazing.”

“I realize that we probably have some talking to do about the move,” said Landry.

“What about it?” Fia asked.

“Just the... You know, we’re planning on making it. And I suppose we need some ground rules.”

“Like having separate bedrooms?”

“Yep,” he said.

“Right. Well. We’ve got to make sure that we keep everything centered on Lila,” said Fia.

“Of course,” he said. “Absolutely.”

“She’s the most important thing.”

“Yeah.”

They got all the way up to Portland, and decided to stay in the same hotel that they had when they were with Lila.

“Two rooms?”

Tension wound through her. Knotting in her stomach.

“No,” she said.

Because when they got back home, when they moved into the farmhouse, they were going to have separate rooms. They were going to be good.

They were going to make it about Lila. But she wasn’t here.

She wasn’t here.

He looked at her, his jaw going tense. “Right.”

“One room,” he said. “King bed.”

They were given a key card and a room number. And they took the elevator up to the sixth floor. They walked down the hall, and Landry put the card in the reader. Her stomach got even tighter.

They went into the room, and he closed it behind them. Locked it.

“Fia...”

He didn’t need to say it.

She knew.

She rushed over to him and stretched up on her toes. She kissed him. She kissed him like she was dying. Because she felt like she was. She was so happy to have this moment. This separate moment. Just with him. Nobody was here. And this was in a cabin in the woods. It was a hotel room. It wasn’t part of their past. And no, it wasn’t part of their future. But it was them. Right now, it was them.

“Landry,” she whispered.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he whispered against her mouth.

It was the exact right thing to say. Because she felt like she was flailing. Floundering. Losing herself in the need that was threatening to swamp her. But he had her. In his strong arms. Because he was Landry, and he was everything. Just like he always had been.

But Lila had to be everything.

She didn’t know how to be with him, and be a mother. She didn’t know how to be everything. But right now all she had to be was his.

He stripped her clothes off her body and looked at her like she was a delicacy.

“Take your clothes off,” she said, her voice husky like a stranger’s.

There was nothing more she loved than Landry King’s body. He made her feel giddy. He made her feel sixteen. But even better he made her feel twenty-nine. Because she would rather be twenty-nine. A woman who knew exactly what she wanted. She would rather be herself right now, in this moment, than anyone else or anywhere else, and in her life, that was the singular realization.

“It’s been too long,” he growled as he stripped his shirt off. “Way too long.”

“It’s been a week,” she said.

He grabbed her and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her against his chest, her nipples scraping against the hair there, sending a spark of pleasure through her body. “You’re right,” she whispered. “Way too long.”

He kissed her. Devoured her. Sent shock waves of need arcing through her.

There had never been anyone like Landry.

She knew, because she felt this electricity when she looked at him across the room.

“That bastard Landry King,” she whispered.

“What?”

“That’s how I refer to you. In my head. Every time I would see a hot man and I didn’t want him. Every time you would walk in and make an earthquake inside of me. That bastard Landry King. Because you ruined me. For everyone and everything. And I made it about my fear, Landry, but the truth is I just didn’t want anyone else.”

“Neither did I,” he said. “And I tried. But it was empty. And it wasn’t you, Fia. Nothing has ever been you. You’re the most significant person in my life.”

“Mine too.”

He kissed her. Deeper this time, harder. And she felt all of these things rising up inside of her. Feelings and promises and words. She wanted to say that she loved him, and that terrified her. Like there was a hook in her stomach, holding her tense, and it had just been twisted. It was nearly painful. She couldn’t say that she loved him. She couldn’t love him.

Except... Had there ever been a moment where she hadn’t loved him? Really? The issue had never been love. It had been the shape it had taken.

Unfortunately.

So she didn’t say it, because it would only be confusing. So she didn’t say it, because it would only hurt them both.

But she felt it. As his hand skimmed over her skin. She moved her own hands to his belt buckle and undid it. Exposed his glorious cock to her vision.

She knelt down in front of him, moved her hand over his length and took him in her mouth. He was bigger now. He was a man. He was everything that she needed.

Salty, masculine. And most of all, him.

There had never been anyone like him.

There never would be.

Landry King was her forever. And that was difficult. Because even if that was true, it didn’t mean she could have him. Even if that was true, it didn’t mean they could be together.

But they could have now. Now. And then they would move in together. And they would make a perfect life. They would be perfect parents, and they would orient themselves around Lila. Not around each other. Not around their own pain. Not around their own passion.

She sucked him until he was groaning, until he was pulling her hair. And she liked that. That pain counterbalanced the pleasure. Did something to ground her. Rooted her in the moment. Did something to remind her that pleasure had a cost.

That these feelings had a cost.

And there was no amount of wishing that would make that not true.

But not here. Not tonight. Tonight was just for them.

He lifted her up and held her against him, kissing her deeply. Then he pushed her onto the bed, stepping out of his jeans, his boots. His socks.

He looked like a predator, staring at her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Like he was going to devour her. And he did.

Landry King made a feast of her, and she reveled in it. She clung to his shoulders, her thighs up over them, and let him carry her away.

And then when he returned to her mouth, she kissed him deep, as he thrust home, joining them.

She wanted to cry. She always did. Because every time felt like it might be the last time. And that made her feel like she might die. She reached her peak as he thrust into her, over and over again. He held back, teasing them both. Tortured them.

In the aftermath, he held her, shaking and shuddering.

He held her beneath those soft sheets. In a bed they’d get to sleep in together all night. They’d never done that before.

They’d never been able to.

And that made her want to weep too, but she couldn’t do that. This was right. This was the proper send-off for what they were. A real, grown-up night together. In a bed. When one of them didn’t have to leave in the morning. She lay there, holding on to his forearm, which he had wrapped around her, rested over her breasts. Her head was leaning against his chest.

“It’s always too good,” he said. “I don’t know how I’m going to go back to not having you.”

His words terrified her. Because the stakes were just too high. Didn’t he understand that?

“I don’t want to talk about that,” she said. “Tonight is just ours. Tonight it’s just us. I don’t want to think about anything else.”

“Okay.”

They lay there for a long moment. “What are your dreams?”

She closed her eyes. “That’s not a less painful subject.”

“I don’t mean those dreams. Yeah. My dream was to marry you. That was all I wanted when I was sixteen. I was going to marry Fia Sullivan. There. I said it. You don’t have to. But before that. What was your dream?”

She felt torn up. It didn’t help that he’d been the one to say it. Not when it was the clearest dream she could recall.

“I guess... I wanted to be a pastry chef. I loved watching baking shows on TV. And I wanted to do something like that. Or maybe have my own cooking show. You know, those really reasonable dreams that you have when you’re a kid. My mom said that people from nowhere don’t get to do things like that. She’s right. I was just a girl from nowhere. It was never going to happen. Having a store where I sell my baked goods is close enough. I get to do what I love. And I found a way to make the family business sustainable for all of my sisters. So...that’s living the dream, isn’t it?”

And there were other things unspoken there too. They might not be married, but they had their child now. They had a family, in a fashion. What was that if not a version of a dream. The same as that TV chef dream. You grew up, and you realized you couldn’t have everything. You realized that there was a practical version of the thing, and it was probably better anyway.

“I wanted to be just like my dad,” he said. “A cowboy. Who ran the ranch. I wanted to be so cool, like him. Smoke Marlboros and rope calves. It’s all I ever wanted. And I never could measure up to him. I couldn’t measure up to my brothers. And I quit having dreams. Until you.”

“What a shit,” said Fia. “Really. Your dad deserves to rot in the seventh circle of hell.”

“Why the seventh?”

“I don’t know. I was being dramatic. A little inferno reference goes a long way. But I can’t actually be expected to remember what all the levels were.”

“Yeah. Sounds boring.”

She laughed. “But seriously, what a dick.”

“Yeah. Well, your mom too. Like, I get it. I get wanting to maybe get your kid to focus on something that feels a little more realistic. But there’s a way to do that without implying that they aren’t special. There’s a way to guide without... At least I think there is? I wouldn’t really know.”

She touched him. “You do a good job at that.”

They looked at each other, and she knew a moment of pure regret. That this wasn’t her life. That they weren’t lying together in a bedroom in their house. That they hadn’t raised their daughter from the cradle. Because maybe it would’ve been this? Maybe? That they could never know.

She felt tears threatening, and she shoved them back.

“You did better than your dad,” she said. “You’re a cowboy, you’re expanding King’s Crest and you’re a good father. So I guess you have your dream too.”

“In a fashion,” he said. Then she knew he was thinking the same thing. It was on the tip of her tongue to say maybe they wouldn’t be so toxic now. To say maybe they should try. But it felt so high stakes. If they tried and they failed, then Lila would be wrapped up in that failure. And she knew how awful that was.

Landry went and bought snacks and drinks down in the lobby, like they might need fuel. And they did. They didn’t talk much for the rest of the night. Instead, they seemed desperate to burn impressions of themselves into each other’s skin. As if they hadn’t done that already. As if that wasn’t so much of who they were.

And why they hurt so damned bad. But being together was good. It made her want to ignore the ways they were dangerous.

Tonight, in this hotel, maybe she could just embrace the flames.