His Secret

16. Adrian

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

ADRIAN

I slept like shit. I tossed and turned, thinking about Matías. The Matías I knew back then, and the one that’s now my neighbor. Living next to him and working with him is going to drive me to the brink of insanity.

I like to think of myself as a good person who tries to do the right things. I’m far from perfect and I make mistakes, but I feel like my proximity to Matías is going to be the end of me.

Charlotte walks up to me as I’m pouring my coffee into my tumbler.

“Morning.” She kisses my cheek before opening the fridge.

“Morning.”

“You must’ve got in late. I didn’t even hear you come into the room.”

“It was after midnight,” I say, rubbing my eyes.

“Was it a good trip?” she asks, pulling a carton of eggs out and placing them on the counter.

“Uhh, as good as a work trip can be, I guess,” I say with a slight chuckle .

“Dad called,” she says, making my spine stiffen.

“Oh?”

“He wants to visit as soon as we’re settled.”

“Why?”

She huffs. “To check on me? To make sure we’re okay?”

“We’re not children anymore. I left Chicago to get out from under our parents, and now your dad is already wanting to visit?”

“Well, you don’t have to see him then,” she says, getting upset. “It’ll spark questions, but I guess I’ll deal with that.”

“We’ll talk about it later. I gotta get to work.”

“Okay.”

I lean over her shoulder and kiss her temple but she just stares down at the bowl of cracked eggs.

I try not to think about her dad coming to visit, because it only makes me mad. If he’s coming, I don’t doubt he’ll send information back to my own father. I don’t need them spying on us. But those two have been friends for decades, and they care too much about what Charlotte and I have going on.

In the office, I go straight to my desk to get to work, but when I look up, I see Matías strutting past my window and all thoughts of work fly out of my head.

He stands in the middle of the room, talking to someone. He smiles and slips one hand in his pocket. My eyes trace every part of him, wanting to know what he looks like under the clothes. I wonder how his body looks now with the changes age and the gym have made.

Then I remember what he said at the restaurant. He wants me in a collar. On a leash. A leash?! He wants to use a riding crop. He wants to use me.

My stomach flips and my dick twitches.

Don’t think about this now.

In college, he was definitely more experienced than I was. He did teach me things. He had to take the lead several times, so him being in control now isn’t too surprising. I would’ve never thought of him in this kinky sort of way. When we had sex, we just did what felt good. We were figuring things out about each other. Learning what the other person liked. Now he knows. He’s definitely still more experienced than I am. He could teach me even more now.

I shake my head. This isn’t something I should be imagining, so I put my head down and get to work.

I manage to avoid a face-to-face encounter with him while at work. I send him two work-related emails, and then I go home at the end of the day.

But even at home, there are several times throughout the evening where I zone out and imagine what it would be like to be with Matías in the way he mentioned. To be with him in any way.

He’s the only man I’ve ever had sex with, and while we started off slow back then, we got to know each other in ways I never thought would happen for me. And now he’s on a whole other level, and I can’t help but be bothered by the fact that, for the last eight years, I’ve been on a playing field for a sport I have no interest in. I can’t learn, advance, or grow into myself when I’m doing something I couldn’t care less about.

It’s hard not to wonder what if.