His Secret

26. Adrian

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

ADRIAN

He walks away from me, and I’m forced to feel a tiny bit of what it must’ve felt like for him when I walked away all those years ago. This is nowhere near the same. I’m aware I blindsided him and hurt him in the worst way. And now, he’s just trying to be cautious. He wants me to be sure, but being with Matías is the only sure thing I’ve ever known. Walking away from him split me apart. My heart has been living without a piece of it for years, because that piece resides in him.

I’m married. I’m married.

It’s not a real marriage. It never felt real to me. But that doesn’t mean Charlotte doesn’t believe it to be real. But to gain the courage to tell her the truth about me isn’t something that’ll come quick. I can’t call her right now and tell her over the phone so I can rush into his room and be with him. But I also don’t think I’ll be able to wait much longer.

The need I feel to be with him gets stronger every minute. Retaining any sense of good morals grows precarious every moment I’m close to him.

I’m still at the table, barely picking at my food as he sits in his room. When his phone rings, it filters through the door, as does his voice when he talks.

“Hello? Hi. No, I’m not home right now. I’m in Vegas on a work trip.” A pause, and then he laughs. “Oh, really?” Does he sound flirtatious? When he speaks again, it’s a bit quieter, and I find myself holding still to try to hear better. “Tell me what exactly.” Another chuckle, and I find myself getting upset that anyone else is making him laugh. Is this the guy from earlier today? The one he spent so much time talking to? “Well, I’m not sure. I’ll let you know.”

A couple minutes after he ends the call, he walks back into the main living area to get rid of his trash, eyes flashing to me briefly.

He puts his phone on the counter as he pulls open the cabinet that houses the trash can and drops everything in there.

I walk over to dump mine as well, and once again his phone rings. The screen lights up and the name Christian shows up across the top. We both look down at it before meeting each other’s gaze.

“Is that someone you aren’t exclusively dating?” I ask.

“Maybe. Does it matter?”

“You’re not gonna answer it?”

“Would you like me to?”

I shrug, feigning indifference as I walk back to the table.

The phone stops ringing. “Yes?” Matías answers.

“Hi. I was wondering if you’re going to be free next weekend,” a voice says from the phone. Matías put it on speaker.

I turn around and find him watching me. “What do you have in mind?” he asks.

“Another visit to Summons House.”

“Hmm. Well, let me get back to you. I need to make sure I won’t have other plans. ”

“Yes, sir.”

“Talk to you later.”

“Okay.”

Matías presses the end button on the screen and waits for me to have a response. It’s clear in the way he was speaking to Christian, that whoever was on the phone earlier was someone different. He didn’t speak to him with much emotion.

“What’s Summons House?” I ask.

He smirks. “Look it up. And let me know if I’ll have plans next weekend.”

I’m in my room, tossing and turning as I contemplate what I want to do. I know cheating is wrong. More often than not, it’s categorized as a mistake when people get caught. They’re either drunk and not thinking, they were mad at their partner and went off and cheated. It hardly ever means anything. There are tons of excuses, and none of them justify the action. I’m smart enough to know that, no matter what, it’s wrong.

My dwelling on it, and thinking about it takes away the excuse of a mistake. The fact that I’m turning it over in my head so much probably makes it worse. I’m deciding if I want to break my marriage vows and disrespect someone I’m supposed to love and cherish. If I do it, I’ve made the conscious decision to hurt her.

But then there’s this other voice telling me that I’m hurting myself. I’ve been hurting myself. I’ve also subconsciously hurt Charlotte by not being honest in the beginning. Not that I felt I had a choice. She was forced on me by my father. Our relationship was never authentic. We didn’t have a meet-cute and fall in love. We were a carefully constructed partnership in order to help her—something I hate my father for forcing me into. And now, I feel trapped.

Being with Matías wouldn’t be a mistake, and it would mean everything to me. I could never discount it as something cheap, or just for sex.

I shove the covers off me with an exhale. I can’t sleep with all these thoughts in my head.

Maybe it’s time to tell my parents the truth. To tell everyone the truth. I switched jobs to get out from under my father. I couldn’t work there anymore. I’ve saved up enough money to be okay for a while. If he cuts me off, at least I have a steady job. I might have to downgrade or change the way I’ve been able to spend on a whim, but I’d be happier. And even the richest people don’t have the richest lives. I want my life to be full, not my wallet.

I plant my feet on the ground and get up to get some water, bringing my phone with me. Sitting on the couch, I stare out at the view and zone out. When I hear a bed creak, I’m brought back into the present. I look at Matías’s door and hear him moving around some more. Guess it makes sense that he can’t sleep either, though not for the same reasons. He doesn’t have to stress over as much. He’s not committed to anyone. He’s out to everyone who knows him.

I get on my phone and scroll through a couple pages of apps before I find the one that’s titled Excel Sheets , though it’s not that at all. It’s a glimpse of the past. A time capsule I’ve never been able to get rid of, even when I went years without looking at it.

When I click it, it opens up to a site that holds all the photos I’ve taken since having this phone. Hundreds of backed up photos that live on even if I don’t have them saved to my phone .

Starting from the beginning, I swipe through a lot of my early college days, before finally landing on images of Matías at one of my parties. There’s some of the two of us, and us with my roommates. Nothing scandalous, just memories of a time when life was a little easier.

The more I swipe, the riskier they get. Selfies of him and I together in my room or his. Faces close, shirts removed as we lounge in bed. One of him kissing my cheek. One of him just lying in my bed, smiling up at me.

My lips turn up on the ends as I look at them.

Every photo of just us together is us hidden behind the four walls of our bedrooms. There are not any pictures of us being a couple out in public, and it breaks my heart to know that I kept him hidden the entire time. What we had was amazing, but it could’ve been even better if I hadn’t been so afraid. I let my father come between us and it ruined everything.

I shift a little when the next photos come up, my eyes flickering to his door like I’m afraid he’ll catch me and know what I’m looking at.

These were photos and videos he sent me when I was traveling with the football team, or really any time we weren’t together for more than twenty-four hours.

I turn my volume down before I play the first video, and when it begins, my heart pounds in my chest. He’s on his bed with the phone propped on the nightstand. It gets everything from the stomach down, and he’s jerking himself with slow strokes before the pace picks up.

Though I’m only wearing a pair of boxers, my entire body warms like I’m wrapped in a thick fleece blanket while sitting next to a fire.

I swallow and get out of it only to be intrigued by the other videos. Clicking through them, I watch several seconds of each—one of them starts, and within only five seconds, he’s coming.

My cock is already hardening, finding its way through the slit in my boxers, ready to escape and be handled.

I reach down to tuck it back in, but when I touch myself as I watch the rest of the video, I can’t find it in me to pull my hand away.

Stroking slowly, I watch as Matías’s fist continues to move up and down his shaft, his cum covering his fingers and stomach. Then I start it over.

My chest heaves as I watch, then the need to hear him takes over. I only put the volume up the tiniest amount, then hold the phone to my ear to hear the noises he makes.

When he comes, the sound sends goosebumps traveling down my arms, and heat licking up my back. I close my eyes, just listening to him as I stroke.

Something gets my attention. I don’t know what the noise was exactly since I was so focused on listening to the video, but I open my eyes and find Matías in his doorway. He’s frozen in place, watching me with a look of surprise on his features.

“Oh.” I scramble to put the phone down and tuck my erection back into my boxers. Embarrassment fills my cheeks with even more heat, and my cock throbs, desperate for the release that was so close.

“Continue,” Matías says, expression shifting from shock to lust.

My dick twitches its excitement at the permission to keep going, but I can’t.

“I should go to my room,” I say, turning to put my feet on the ground so I can stand.

Matías walks over, sitting on the other side of the couch, facing me. “Continue. ”

My chest expands with a deep breath. He’s wearing a pair of lounge pants and nothing else. His body has changed and no longer looks like it did in the videos I was just watching, but I find myself more entranced by him. He’s got a dusting of hair on his torso, and defined muscles, and my hands long to rub up and down his body to feel the roughness of what he has to offer. I want the scratch of hair against my skin. I want to feel the strength of his body below or above mine.

“Matías,” I start.

His head inclines slightly and he scoots to the edge of the cushion. “I won’t even touch you. Just let me watch.”

I wet my lips, wanting to give him what he wants. I lean back slightly in the seat and reach into my boxers.

“What are you gonna watch?” he asks.

“Nothing. Just you.”

His nostrils flare slightly as he mimics my pose, leaning back into the cushion, legs spread. He pulls his pants down to his knees, revealing his white boxer-briefs that leave little to the imagination.

My eyes stay focused on his cock, watching as it strains against the material as it gets harder. I trace the lines of his abs and replay his voice when he came in the video. I imagine him doing now what he did then, wondering how different he might sound. Wanting to see his cum paint his skin.

I release a moan as my hand moves up and down, my eyes closing.

“Look at me,” he says.

I obey, biting into my lip as he runs his palm over his crotch. My gaze moves to his face, and we watch each other for a little while before he reaches into his underwear and my attention is stolen.

He doesn’t take it out, but he leisurely strokes himself.

The look on his face is enough to do me in. He’s so fucking sexy. My eyes bounce around—face, cock, torso. Cock, lips, thighs. Face, cock.

Oh god, his cock is visible now. Just the tip peeking out above his fingers.

“Fuck,” I moan, gaze locked in, the memory of his voice in my ears. “Oh, my god.”

He gets up, yanking his pants to his hips. “Get to the edge,” he tells me, walking closer.

“Wha—what?” I ask through a breath, my orgasm ready to explode out of me.

Matías drops to his knees. Oh, shit. He’s on his knees in front of me.

He gestures with his fingers, calling me forward. I scoot to the edge, stroking myself right in front of his face. He’s so close. Close enough to wrap his lips around me if he wanted.

He’s got a close-up view now, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t touch me. He just waits.

“Oh, fuck,” I exclaim, focused on his lips, thinking about what it would feel like to be in his mouth again. “Matías.”

His shoulders roll back as his chin lifts to look at me, a pleasure-filled moan deep in his throat. He had a physical reaction to me using his name.

“I’m gonna come.”

Instead of aiming my cock at myself, I point it straight ahead, ready to shoot my load on the floor in front of him. I assume that’s what he wants since he wanted me on the edge.

The first burst of cum shoots out, nearly landing on his chest. I close my eyes and keep stroking, my muscles tense as pleasure takes over.

My eyes flicker open, ready to close again, but I spot Matías in front of me, his mouth open as he catches more of my cum in his mouth .

“Oh, shit,” I exclaim, nearly choking on my gasp.

The way he looks up at me is intoxicating. He’s sensual, sinful desire wrapped into a package and presented to me at my feet. My arousal glistens on his chin.

I stand up, my cum leaving my cock in drips rather than ribbons now, and he peers up at me and opens his mouth, so I aim it as best as I can to land on his tongue.

“Holy shit,” I gasp.

When my body is spent, I stumble back to the couch and sit.

Matías wipes his hand across his chin, cleaning up any mess. His eyes never leave my face, and I’m unsure of what to say.

He gives me a small grin as he stands. “Still so good.”

Before I can bring myself to say anything, he’s walking away and disappearing into his room.