His Tiny Sun

Chapter 2 - Eric Has a New Boyfriend

CHAPTER 2

Eric Has a New Boyfriend

Alan escaped to the bathroom. He slapped his hand across his mouth as he pressed his back against the door, stifling a scream in his palm.

How?

Alan rushed to the sink, where he splashed some cold water on his face. He studied his reflection in the mirror, his heart sinking as he took in his unalluring Saturday morning appearance.

He looked like a disheveled potato.

Alan let his hair down and pouted as he combed through it with his fingers. He’d been trying to grow it longer like Eric, but all he’d managed so far was to have a thick, unruly blond mass that looked awful, whether he let it down or put it up into a pathetic little ponytail.

It hadn’t been his best first impression, for sure.

‘You’ll be healing bodies, and I’ll be healing minds.’

“Why?” he whispered to himself. Why couldn’t he say normal things like normal people did? He finally had the chance to speak to Jonah, and that’s all he came up with?

Not that it matters now , he reminded himself. It was too late; Jonah was in Eric’s room, in Eric’s bed, and in Eric’s arms.

How?

Alan sighed as he wiped his hands with his towel, then dragged himself to the shelves and squeezed a generous amount of orange-scented hand lotion in his palm. He rubbed his hands together as he walked to the toilet and plopped down, not wasting one second to bury his nose into his hands and to inhale the soothing scent with slow breaths.

There was no sign of recognition in Jonah’s eyes when he saw him, which confirmed what Alan had already been suspecting: although Alan looked forward to seeing him almost every morning, Jonah had never noticed him before. Until just now, he didn’t even know he existed.

But then, why had he hung out in the kitchen to chat?

He was probably just trying to be polite…

…while not wearing a shirt.

Alan let his arms drop to his sides and threw his head back with a groan. Why did Jonah have to be so hot ? Alan had never seen Jonah in an outfit that didn’t accentuate his physique, so he kind of knew what to expect, but seeing Jonah’s bare chest with his own two eyes was something else entirely. Alan was never getting that image out of his head.

Jonah’s stature was the epitome of swoon-worthy, with his broad shoulders and muscular build that made Alan fantasize about running his fingers across every inch of that gorgeous body. His light brown, shoulder-length hair framed the most kissable face Alan had ever seen, his strong jawline and alluring bedhead giving him a rugged handsomeness that was both captivating and intimidating.

And what was to say of Jonah’s striking brown eyes, which were filled with such mysterious depth, Alan couldn’t help feeling the burning desire to lose himself in them. And why did he have to smell divine , too? Life was so unfair—

Alan’s eyes widened as panic seized him. Jonah had seemed relaxed until Alan got up to discreetly smell him. What if he hadn’t been discreet at all?

Oh, God.

Alan bit his fist, staring blankly at the tiled floor.

Why?

Why did he have to go and do that? Jonah definitely thought of him as Eric’s creepy roommate now, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He needed to go for a walk.

Alan stood up and opened the door, then immediately tensed from head to toe at the noise coming from Eric’s room. He ran—as silently as he could—to grab his headphones, then frantically fumbled with his phone to put on some music. He snatched his backpack, put on his shoes, and rushed out the door, nearly twisting his ankle in his hurry as he ran down the stairs.

He relaxed as soon as he set foot outside. The scent of lilacs reached his nostrils and made him smile. It never failed to cheer him up. The two weeks during which they were in bloom were one of Alan’s favorite moments of the year.

The weather was lovely, too. The perfect amount of warmth irradiated from the sun, and fluffy clouds—few and far between—lazily traveled across the blue sky. One looked like a seashell. He snapped a picture with his phone to add to his collection.

Alan noticed a car in their usually empty parking space. Jonah’s, probably. Alan didn’t know the first thing about cars, but it looked nice—red, and shiny, and parked perfectly between the lines. He couldn’t help being impressed by it. Alan had given up on trying to get his own license when he bumped into another car while trying to parallel park during his exam.

The world was a much safer place without him behind the wheel.

———

The Goliath Café was remarkably busy for a Monday morning. Alan was glad he’d decided to come here early; it had allowed him to snatch his favorite table. There was nothing like being flanked by giant plants that made him feel as though he were in a luxuriant jungle, while still allowing him a clear view of the place.

Although…now that he thought about it, choosing to sit here nearly every morning certainly hadn’t helped his case. How had he expected anyone to notice him when he was partly hidden behind thick foliage?

Not that it mattered anymore. Sadly, that ship had already sailed.

Alan perked up as the door opened. Monday morning, seven-fifteen on the dot, as usual. Jonah was wearing a turtleneck this time, and even though Alan hated that he knew why, he couldn’t help relishing the view. The sweater was delightfully snug.

Alan paused his music and put his headphones down next to his laptop as he watched Jonah head to the counter. Jonah had a spring in his step, and he held his head up high—well, higher than usual.

Jonah’s natural confidence was what had caught Alan’s attention at first. Alan was an insecure ball of nerves, so he admired the people who simply took their place in the world. Perhaps, deep down, he’d hoped that some of that confidence would rub off on him if they were to become friends.

Alan didn’t normally obsess over strangers, but there was something indescribable about Jonah that made him want to get to know him better. He’d thought about him a lot since their unexpected chat in the kitchen, and came to the conclusion that Jonah’s relationship with Eric didn’t really change anything.

Nothing romantic would have ever happened between them, anyway—Jonah was way, way out of his league—but that didn’t mean they couldn’t become friends…maybe.

Large coffee, black. Omelet sandwich. To go.

“I’d like a large coffee, black, and an omelet sandwich to go.”

“Your name?”

Jonah.

“Jonah.”

Alan had almost forgotten he wasn’t supposed to know how Jonah liked his coffee. It had been a close call, but he had the presence of mind to offer him sugar and milk too, on Saturday. He didn’t want Jonah to think he was stalking him; Alan just happened to enjoy studying in the café where Jonah got his breakfast almost every morning.

Jonah stepped aside and looked at his phone while he waited for his order, oblivious to Alan’s presence, as usual.

Alan wondered whether he should go and say hi, but the cowardly part of himself took over and convinced him to stay put. Jonah was probably too busy to chat, anyway. Besides, what would Alan even say?

‘You seem to be in a great mood today—had a good time fucking my best friend over the weekend?’

Alan sighed. Being bitter would do him no good. It wasn’t like he’d had a chance with Jonah in the first place.

Alan reached for his hot chocolate, accidentally knocking the spoon off the saucer. He bent down to pick it up from the floor, then noisily bumped his head underneath the table on his way back up. He hissed as he rubbed the top of his head, then felt his anxiety rise as he realized that everyone in the establishment was staring at him— including Jonah .

Jonah smiled and gave him a nod, to which Alan replied with a timid wave of his hand.

It seemed he’d finally found a fail-proof way to attract Jonah’s attention. Too bad he’d had to look ridiculous in the process.

———

The following weeks turned out to be headache-worthy. Eric had always been an impulsive ball of energy, but when Jonah was around, he became an explosive inferno. He wasn’t the only one, though; they were both very intense . Alan was shocked the first time he witnessed one of their fights. Jonah always seemed so relaxed when Alan saw him at the café, or when they exchanged a few words in the kitchen on Saturday mornings. Alan never would have thought he could give Eric a run for his money.

It didn’t take long for Alan to prefer avoiding them entirely. Whenever he saw Jonah’s car parked in front of their apartment building, he went to their friend Marina’s place instead—she’d been kind enough not to ask too many questions. And when Jonah’s shoes were on the doormat on Saturday mornings, Alan fled to the university library.

He knew it wouldn’t be sustainable in the long run, but he couldn’t help it. Seeing them together—and hearing them—made Alan’s heart squeeze, and he was afraid it would soon begin to show. He wasn’t a very good liar.

Alan still went to the café, but not as often as he used to, and on a different schedule. Although they never exchanged more than a smile and a nod when Jonah went in to get his breakfast, Alan was still attracted to him—possibly even more than before, somehow—and felt awful about it. If roles were reversed, Alan would be upset to know that Eric looked forward to admiring his boyfriend nearly every morning, especially since Alan often found himself wishing they would break up.

He was the absolute worst friend in the world.

An electric guitar pierced Alan’s ear-drums—the notification sound Eric chose for himself on his phone. Alan still hadn’t gotten used to it and nearly had a heart attack every time Eric texted him.

? ☆KING OF THE WORLD☆: Hey you coming home soon?

Alan smiled and shook his head. The smart thing to do would be to change the password on his phone, but he was afraid Eric would take it the wrong way if he did. So, instead, Alan once again accessed his contact information and put Eric’s name back.

? Alan: I was thinking of leaving in about half an hour, but I can come home later if you need some privacy.

? Eric: Come home now I have something to show you!!! !

Huh.

? Alan: What is it?

? Eric: It’s a surprise!! Come quick!!!

Alan squinted at his phone, but no matter how hard he racked his brain, he still had no idea what to expect. What he did know, though, was that there was a very high probability that Eric had made a bad decision.

? Alan: Okay! Be there soon.

He gathered his books and placed them into his backpack, then left the library. They’d selected an apartment that was close to the university—which meant they were paying far too much for a rundown shoebox—so the walk home wouldn’t take long. It was a good thing; Eric’s text made Alan anxious.

Fifteen minutes later, their apartment building came into view, and Alan instantly noticed the car that was in their parking space. It was black, not red.

“What’s going on?” he murmured to himself. He didn’t have long to wonder because Eric burst out the door and appeared right in front of him, jingling a set of keys in his face.

“I bought a car!” Eric exclaimed. “Wanna go for a ride?”

Alan blinked, then looked at the car, then back at Eric. “Okay,” he said with a smile. Knowing Eric, it was probably an impulse buy, but Alan wouldn’t be complaining; getting groceries would be a lot simpler now.

Alan walked to the passenger side and got into the car—Eric had the little remote thingie that could unlock doors at a distance—then put his seatbelt on and mirrored Eric’s excited smile when he climbed into the driver’s seat and started the car. “Where d’you wanna go?”

“I thought we could take it downtown for a test drive,” Eric said as he backed out of the parking lot.

“Oh! Good idea. We’re out of coffee, I could grab some.”

“Don’t you go there, like, every day?” Eric asked.

“I’m trying to cut back on my spending,” Alan lied. He wouldn’t be running out of money any time soon with the inheritance from his parents, but he preferred to keep the details of his finances to himself.

“Jonah likes their coffee too. That’s something you have in common. He’s such a snob about it, though.”

“A snob about coffee?” Alan asked, practicing what he learned about active listening.

Eric stopped at a red light and wrinkled his nose. “Yeah.”

It rarely worked with Eric.

“So, uh…” Alan said as he looked out the window. “How did you two meet?”

“Uni party.”

Alan frowned. “I thought he wasn’t in uni yet.”

Oh, no. Shut up.

Eric looked at him, then back at the road as the light turned green. “Did I tell you that?”

“No. He did. He told me he was saving money—”

“—To get into medical school.” Eric snorted. “Yeah, that’s just like him. He’s not even in yet, and he’s already bragging about it.”

“Do you even like him?” Alan spat out before he could stop the words from spilling out. He stared tensely at the passing buildings as he awaited Eric’s reaction.

“I mean, he’s pretty hot, I guess. Why— wait , you hate him, don’t you?”

Alan nearly flinched at Eric’s unexpected question. “W-what? Why would I hate him?”

“I don’t know. Ever since I started seeing him, you’ve been avoiding me.”

Alan mentally kicked himself. Of course Eric would notice that something was up; what had he been thinking? “I’m sorry, I guess I was just trying to give you some space.”

“But why? You’ve never done that before.”

You’ve never been with someone I found attractive before , Alan thought, guilt squeezing his heart.

“Alan,” Eric continued, “it’s your home too. If you don’t like when he’s around, I want you to tell me.”

“I promise it’s not the case,” Alan said, looking back at him with a smile. Eric could be both remarkably observant and exceptionally oblivious, so Alan never really knew what to expect when they were discussing potentially sensitive topics.

Eric still had no idea Marina had been madly in love with him since childhood, but he could detect from miles away when Alan had been bullied, no matter how hard Alan had tried to hide it back then.

Eric tended to turn a blind eye to whatever he didn’t want to acknowledge, which sometimes made his reactions unpredictable. Alan was never kept guessing for long, however; Eric was not one to beat around the bush when he had something to say.

“I’m sorry,” Alan said. “You’re right, I had no reason to believe you needed space. I’m just nervous about my exams, I guess. I haven’t been sleeping well. I can’t think clearly.”

“You’re the smartest guy I know. You’ll show those exams who’s boss. You’ll see,” Eric said as he aced his parallel parking like he’d been doing it daily for years. He turned off the engine and grinned at Alan.

Alan relaxed as he smiled back, then looked out the window at the buildings he didn’t recognize. Eric had parked in front of what appeared to be a marketing agency, and the surrounding buildings all seemed to be hosting some kind of office space. “I don’t think I’ve been around here before. Someplace you wanna go?”

“Just a sec,” Eric said, typing on his phone.

Alan glanced at Eric’s screen, then swiftly looked away when he saw the name Eric had given the person he was sending a text to.

Horse Dick

“There’s a debate tomorrow night, if you wanna come,” Eric told Alan as he put his phone into the cupholder. “I know you’re busy, though, so it’s fine if you can’t.”

“I’d love to. I could use a distraction,” Alan said. Watching Eric take part in a debate was always awe-inspiring. He excelled at it.

The door of the building they were parked in front of opened. Jonah walked out, a lopsided smile plastered on his face as he nonchalantly made his way toward them.

So, this is where he works.

Eric lowered the window on the passenger side. Alan’s heart skipped a beat as Jonah bent down and leaned against the door to look at Eric, his face now close enough for Alan to smell his enticing aftershave.

There was no doubt about it. Alan had done something to piss off the universe, and he was now paying for it.

“Whaddya think?” Eric asked excitedly.

“Not bad,” Jonah said as he looked around the interior of Eric’s new car, his eyes wrinkling with a genuine smile when his gaze swept over Alan’s face .

Alan suddenly felt so hot, he could have sworn Eric’s car had heated seats—and that he’d just cranked them up to the maximum.

“What do you mean, not bad ?” Eric spat out.

Oh, no, not again , Alan lamented internally as he melted into his seat .

Jonah’s smile turned smug. “Well, for one, it’s an automatic.”

“ So ?”

“I didn’t know you were an old lady.”

Oh, no.

“Would it kill you not to be so unimpressed about everything I do?” Eric said as he unfastened his seatbelt.

Alan had to give it to Eric; Jonah was being unnecessarily hurtful. They always fought over the most random things, but Eric had just made a big life decision. Why couldn’t Jonah put his ego aside, for one minute, to congratulate him on his purchase?

Eric got out of his car and stomped toward Jonah, who gave Alan one last smile before straightening up and looking at Eric.“Dude. Did you really buy a car just to impress me?”

“Of course not, dumbass !” Eric spat out.

Oh, no. He totally bought a car to impress him.

Those who didn’t know Eric intimately tended to believe he was confident. He was driven, stubborn, and loud. However, deep down, he had an immense feeling of inadequacy. He always ended up in relationships with people who gave him the barest crumbs of validation, like he was trying to prove to himself that he had value by gaining their hard-earned approval.

He deserved so much better.

Alan grabbed his headphones from his backpack and put them on, then sank further into his seat while he pretended to be absorbed by his phone until the storm died down.

It did, eventually, but only after Eric pushed Jonah against the car—practically shoving his ass in Alan’s face—and made out with him foran uncomfortably long period of time.

Alan opened his photo gallery and started sorting through his recent pictures of bumblebees, doing his best not to look at the part of Jonah’s body he’d been granted a live close-up of.

He was cursed. There was no doubt about it.

C-u-r-s-e-d.