Home for Christmas

Chapter 25

Jude and I were both up with the lark the next morning, and I was relieved to see that our beautiful gingerbread fairy house hadn’t collapsed overnight. When I said as much to him, he theatrically rolled his eyes.

‘I told you it wouldn’t,’ he reminded me. ‘Have at least a little faith, Bella.’

If the day panned out as I was hoping it would, I was going to need all of the faith I could lay my hands on. I had spent much of the night thinking about my decision to tell Jude I was ready for more than a fling, and it still felt like the right thing to do.

I wondered what Mum was going to make of it, but I wouldn’t ask her ahead of me putting my plan into action, for fear that she’d try to talk me out of it. Given our traumatic history where my father figures were concerned and the fact that she’d never had a serious relationship since, I felt she would have been bound to and I wouldn’t have blamed her.

‘I do have faith,’ I said to Jude, with a nod to our clever creation. He raised his eyebrows. ‘Now I’ve seen it’s still in one piece,’ I added with a smile.

He laughed at that, but his expression changed as his phone buzzed with an incoming message. My heart stopped skipping so abruptly that I almost tripped over it.

‘Tea, coffee or hot chocolate?’ I offered as he picked it up.

I hoped he wasn’t about to announce that he was heading off again. That had been the outcome following the flurries of phone messages he’d received before. I would be so disappointed if our day didn’t have the chance to develop as I had hoped it might. He didn’t answer my question, and when I turned around, I found him frowning at the screen.

‘Tea, coffee—’ I started to say again.

‘Sorry,’ he cut in. ‘Coffee, please. Coffee would be great. A strong one.’

I wondered if there was a reason why he needed it made strong and was about to offer breakfast options when his phone started to ring loudly.

‘Are you going to answer that?’ I asked, when he didn’t.

‘No,’ he said gruffly, turning the volume down a bit. ‘It can wait.’

It eventually stopped, but then immediately started again.

‘You know,’ I said, because I didn’t want him ignoring it if it was important and he was only doing so because he felt an obligation to stay with me, ‘you really don’t have to come to town with me today if you’re needed elsewhere.’

‘What do you mean?’ he asked, turning his frown on me.

‘Well, the last time you had a phone influx, you had to head off,’ I said lightly. ‘So if there’s a change of plan today, I honestly don’t—’

‘There’s no change of plan,’ he said with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. ‘This isn’t the person who got in touch before.’

He didn’t say who it was this time around, but clearly he’d rather not have heard from them. Given that he wasn’t about to dash off, I hoped that their mysterious intrusion wasn’t going to tarnish what had previously had the potential to be such a perfect day.

‘One coffee,’ I said, setting the festive-themed mug down on the table. ‘A strong one.’

‘Thank you,’ he said, looking a little more like himself again. ‘Something tells me I’m going to need a few of these to keep up with what’s happening in town today.’

‘No, you’re not,’ I protested, and he gave me a look. ‘Oh, all right,’ I relented. ‘Maybe just a couple.’

Lizzie had already kindly said that I could park behind the café, which was a weight off my mind because the parking spaces always filled up fast ahead of the tree auction and bake sale, and Jude and I couldn’t walk into town because we needed to carefully transport the gingerbread fairy house.

Dressed in a long, woollen winter dress, boots, hat, scarf, gloves and my bright red coat, I hoped I was going to be warm enough. I was just considering adding another layer, when Jude appeared in a chunky jumper and smelling as well as looking delicious, and I realized my internal temperature was going to keep me cosy enough.

‘You look absolutely lovely, Bella,’ he said, as I readjusted my hat.

It was impossible to keep my curls trapped underneath it, so I had left them loose and they cascaded almost halfway down my back.

‘Thank you,’ I said, warming up even more as a result of the compliment. ‘And I love your jumper.’

‘It’s not quite a Christmas jumper,’ he said, looking down at it, ‘but I think it’ll pass muster, don’t you?’

The red of it was an almost-perfect match for my coat.

‘Definitely,’ I agreed. Then added to stop myself from staring, ‘We’d better get going, otherwise we’ll miss out on the best trees.’

Having promised Tink I’d be back as soon as I could be, we left her snoozing in her bed and set steadily off into town. Jude had carefully lowered himself into the passenger seat and awkwardly pulled on his belt, before I set the box containing the gingerbread house lightly on his lap.

‘Are you sure it’s not too heavy?’ I asked, biting my lip.

‘It won’t get the chance to be if you stop fretting and get on with driving, Bella,’ he said, with a smile. ‘The sooner we get there, the sooner you can take it from me again.’

Just as I had known it would be, the little market town was already heaving. As I squeezed my car into the tiny parking space and rushed to open Jude’s door, a few snowflakes began to fall. I took it as a sign that romance was going to be guaranteed, and the feeling increased tenfold when I leaned in and Jude softly kissed my cheek.

‘Thank you for giving me the love of this back,’ he said, when we reached the packed square, which was full of greenery and trees, the scent of pine hanging heavy in the air. ‘Just a short while ago, I would have done anything to avoid a scene like this.’

I felt my heart swell with pride. If I didn’t give Jude anything else for Christmas – though I planned to, of course – the sight before us and his accompanying words would be enough.

‘I’m not sure I can take all of the credit—’ I started to say, but he cut me off.

‘Oh, you can,’ he nodded. ‘You definitely can.’

Whereas the market square had smelled of pine, foliage and fresh air, the air inside the town hall was all cinnamon, spice and very much warmer.

‘No way!’ Jude laughed, when he looked towards the back of the building, where the gingerbread entries were being lined up.

‘Careful,’ I said, as someone nearly walked into him.

I was mindful of his bruised ribs, even if he seemed to have forgotten momentarily about them.

‘What is it?’ I asked, trying to look around him. ‘I can’t see.’

He was a few inches taller than me and was bravely standing in front to put a buffer between himself and the box in case we got jostled among the crowd. Though now I realized that that might not have been the best plan under the circumstances.

‘There, look,’ he said, stepping aside as we reached the dais, where the trestle tables positively groaned under the weight of so many gingerbread creations.

On a table in the middle of them was the best and most magnificent one of all.

‘No way!’ I gasped, echoing Jude’s reaction. ‘It can’t be real.’

‘Oh, it is,’ said a voice next to me. ‘And I don’t want to even begin totting up the hours it has taken me to get it finished in time. You can guess whose idea it was, can’t you?’

‘Dorothy,’ I said, ‘it’s a total triumph! You must be thrilled with it, really.’

‘Angus’s idea?’ Jude asked.

‘Who else?’ Dorothy laughed.

‘Where on earth did you make it?’ I asked her. ‘It must have been impossible to keep it hidden.’

Sitting proudly on a table all of its own was a gingerbread construction much bigger than the average doll’s house and an exact replica of Wynthorpe Hall. There were countless windows and chimneys, and even a tiny figure of Angus, wearing a Christmas jumper and waving from the front door.

‘I made one of the rooms behind the kitchen out of bounds,’ Dorothy explained, ‘and worked on it when I could. It’s not turned out too bad, I suppose.’

I wondered how on earth they’d transported it.

‘Not too bad,’ Jude laughed. ‘It’s magnificent, Dorothy.’

She looked well pleased.

‘It’s for decoration only,’ she said, with a smile. ‘It isn’t being judged.’

‘Because you know no one else would stand a chance of winning if it was,’ I said, and she blushed.

‘So what have you got in there, Bella?’ she asked, with a nod to the box I was still holding. ‘If it’s a gingerbread house for the competition, then you’d better register it quick. The entry time is almost up.’

I left her and Jude and rushed over to a woman called Kathleen, who was holding a clipboard and was efficiently in charge.

Once our entry had been registered and squeezed onto an already packed table, I took dozens of photos from all angles and then heard the bell ringing outside, which signalled the start of the tree and greenery auction.

‘Come on,’ I said to Jude, automatically reaching for his hand as we wove our way through the crowds and back outside again.

It was snowing a little harder and everyone had rosy cheeks, bright eyes and happy smiles. It was turning out to be, just as I had hoped it would, an idyllic festive day.

‘You can’t be serious,’ Jude said in my ear when I finally began to bid on a tree. ‘You’ll never get it in the house. It’ll touch the ceiling.’

‘Trust me,’ I said, raising my hand again. ‘This is our tree.’

‘How are you going to get it home?’ he asked, sounding amused.

‘Holly said she’ll deliver whatever I buy in her new truck.’

I focused on the bidding, and when the gavel went down, I punched the air in triumph.

‘Just as well Holly offered transport,’ Jude laughed. ‘It’s a whopper.’

‘Right,’ I said determinedly, with a nod to the other side of the square, ‘now we need the holly and ivy.’

I was on a mission.

‘No mistletoe?’ Jude asked, following close behind as I rushed off.

There seemed so much of it this year, and what was on sale was all full of beautiful creamy-coloured berries. I always wished I could fill the house with it, but with dear Tink likely to tuck into any fallen berries, I simply couldn’t risk it.

‘The berries are poisonous, remember?’ I reminded Jude as I began looking through the bunches of ivy and bright, red-berried holly.

‘Oh yes,’ he said. ‘And you have got loads of lovely silk stuff, haven’t you?’

The silk mistletoe was very lovely, and although not the same, it was the safest option.

‘More than enough,’ I agreed.

‘But can you ever have too much mistletoe, Bella?’ Jude whispered in my ear, and I felt myself shiver, though not with the cold.

‘How many bunches, love?’ asked the man selling the holly, as I held up both huge plain and variegated bunches.

‘Two of each, please,’ I replied rather breathlessly.

Once I had explained to the vendors who would be collecting both the tree and the greenery I’d gone for, it was time for lunch. That day, there were more options than usual to choose from, because lots of vendors flocked to the town safe in the knowledge that they would be able to swell their pre-Christmas coffers.

‘How’s your mac and cheese?’ I asked Jude, as I tucked into my raclette and made a mess of my serviette in the process. We’d both picked the German food stall for our first course.

‘Delicious,’ Jude said, through a mouthful. ‘You’ve got a rogue bit of cheese,’ he added, pointing at my chin.

‘Don’t worry,’ I said before taking another bite, ‘I’ll tidy myself up when I’ve finished the whole thing.’

It took a while to devour the lot, and as we ate, we walked among the stalls, keen to see what else was on offer along with all of the green stuff. The snow hadn’t completely stopped falling, and it was a genuinely picture-perfect scene.

‘Hey, Bella,’ said Lizzie, who was currently manning the Cherry Tree stall. ‘Hi, Jude. Having fun?’

‘So much fun,’ I told her as I wiped my face again, and Jude handed me another bundle of serviettes. ‘I can thoroughly recommend the raclette.’

‘You look like you enjoyed it,’ she laughed.

‘Am I still wearing it?’ I asked.

‘No,’ said Jude, with a grin so I wasn’t sure if I believed him or not. ‘You’re good.’

‘Are you sure you’ve got enough people to cover the stall?’ I felt obliged to ask Lizzie after I’d given myself another wipe around. A few of my fairies were still for sale, after all.

‘More than enough,’ Lizzie said. ‘I might need to call on you next week if you’re going to be about, but for now, we’re covered.’

‘I’ll be happy to help,’ I told her. ‘The only thing I’ve got planned for next week, aside from getting more ready for Christmas, of course, is making more stock and then running the pub quiz on Friday night.’

Since I’d got in a muddle over a couple of things in my diary recently, I’d been checking it much more regularly.

‘In that case, I’ll be in touch.’ Lizzie smiled, then turned her attention to a customer who was keen to stock up on Jemma’s biscuits.

‘How are you holding up?’ I asked Jude, as we walked away.

‘I’m having a great time,’ he told me. ‘But I wouldn’t mind a bit of a sit-down. Do you fancy heading to the pub? Or I can head to the pub and rejoin you in a bit, if you want to carry on.’

‘No,’ I said, ‘pub sounds good, and I’d rather stick with you.’

‘Perfect,’ he said, smiling.

‘Perfect,’ I agreed.

It wasn’t too busy in The Mermaid, because everyone was still milling about outside or in the town hall. I knew the gingerbread judging would be happening soon, but I wasn’t expecting us to be placed. The taking part had been more than enough of an achievement for me, and a fun one at that.

‘What can I get you?’ Jeanie asked Jude with a grin.

‘A pint of Winter Warmer, please,’ he said, naming a local brew.

‘Bella?’

‘I’d love the same, but I’d better not as we came into town in the car.’

‘You could leave it and pick it up tomorrow,’ she suggested, grinning even more mischievously.

‘I can’t do that,’ I told her. ‘I’ve got a gingerbread house to transport.’

‘We could leave that in the car, too,’ Jude suggested. ‘I don’t think one night would do it much harm.’

‘Did you hear that, Bella?’ Jeanie winked. ‘No harm can come from just one night.’

I gave her a tight-lipped look. Had I filled her in on the fact that I was going to tell Jude that I wanted to go for it with him, and for much longer than one night, she wouldn’t have said anything like that. She would have been too shocked to say anything.

‘In that case,’ I said, ignoring her innuendo and refusing to meet her eye, ‘I’ll have a pint, too.’

‘Take a seat,’ Jeanie said, ‘and I’ll bring them over.’

She didn’t usually offer table service.

‘No, it’s okay,’ said Jude, as a noisy crowd came through the door. ‘I can carry a couple of pints. Why don’t you bag that table next to the fire, Bella? I have a feeling it’s about to get busy in here.’

He wasn’t wrong: within the next couple of minutes, I watched the place fill up, and I also watched Jude talking intently to Jeanie. Whatever he was saying, she was rapt. When she had eventually pulled our pints and Jude had paid for them, she gave me the biggest thumbs-up behind his back as he walked over.

‘Everything all right?’ I asked, wondering what had got her so excited.

‘Yes,’ he said, setting the glasses down. ‘I’m really starting to feel better now.’

That hadn’t been what I meant, but I raised my glass to his improving health and ignored my friend, who was doing some sort of stupid happy dance behind the bar.

‘Fancy another?’ Jude asked, once we’d both finished our first pints.

When we’d arrived, I had been considering telling Jude how I felt about him while cocooned in the warm, fireside sanctuary of the pub, but it had got so busy and so noisy since our arrival that it was impossible to have a conversation without raising your voice, and I just knew that the moment I blurted out what I wanted to say, the pub would fall miraculously silent.

‘Not for me,’ I said, ‘but thank you. Are you having another one?’

‘No,’ he said, looking around, ‘I don’t think I will. It’s got a bit loud in here, hasn’t it? Shall we head out again?’

‘I’d love that,’ I practically had to shout, ‘but only if you’re really feeling up to it.’

I was mindful now that we would end up walking home and didn’t want him overdoing it, especially as I had designs on tiring him out in a different way to walking around Wynbridge. One pint wouldn’t have put me over the limit to drive, of course, but I never got behind the wheel after any amount of alcohol. It was a rule I lived by.

‘I’m good,’ Jude told me. ‘Come on, let’s go.’

When we stepped outside again, it had stopped snowing and I thought the temperature had dropped, but that could have been because it had been so warm inside the pub.

‘Look,’ I said, pointing at the town hall. ‘The door is open again, so the judging must have finished.’

‘Let’s go and see if your fairy house has been awarded a prize,’ Jude said keenly.

‘ Our fairy house,’ I corrected him, linking my arm though his.

Our effort hadn’t been placed, but I didn’t feel disappointed at all, especially when I looked at those that had. There were all sorts of categories and the under-twelves was my favourite. The Spice Girls concert stage tableau was a masterpiece, and Jude loved the most lopsided little house, which made me love him all the more.

‘Do you mind if I disappear for a minute?’ he asked me, once we’d finished looking around and I’d purchased a couple of bags of cookies. ‘There’s something I need to pick up from the market.’

‘No,’ I said, thinking how fortuitous his timing was, ‘of course not. I was actually going to ask you the same thing. There’s something I want to do, too.’

‘In that case,’ Jude suggested, ‘let’s meet next to the Christmas tree in half an hour. Assuming that gives you enough time?’

‘More than enough.’ I nodded. Along with making a small purchase, I was going to be running through the speech I’d been formulating, and any longer than that would crank my nerves up way too far. ‘I’ll see you there.’

A makeshift and very festive floral display had been set up around the tree courtesy of a local garden centre, along with a few ornate benches, and as I approached at the end of the thirty minutes (which had seen me talking to myself and geeing myself up), I saw that Jude had bought the same thing that I had picked up.

‘Great minds,’ I said tentatively, shakily holding aloft the small sprig of mistletoe I had sought out and planned to use to embellish my speech.

Jude smiled and nodded, his cheeks turning endearingly even pinker.

‘Great minds indeed,’ he said with a smile. ‘Let’s sit down, shall we?’

‘Yes,’ I said, taking a breath. My legs had begun to shake as I realized we were potentially on the same track, so taking the weight off them would be most welcome. ‘Let’s do that.’

There was no one else making use of the thankfully dry benches, and I led us to one that was almost hidden from the view of the still-bustling market behind the huge, lit tree and afforded us the privacy I felt the moment was going to require.

‘So,’ said Jude, sounding appealingly unsure.

‘So,’ I echoed, hoping that he really had picked up his sprig of mistletoe for the same reason that I’d purchased mine. Surely there could only be one. ‘Jude,’ I therefore bravely said, ‘I have something important that I need to tell you.’

‘And I have something important that I need to tell you, too,’ he said straight back to me.

‘In that case,’ I said, taking a breath, ‘you go first.’

‘No,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘You first.’

I opened my mouth to tell him, but when the moment came, I felt unbearably nervous and just couldn’t do it.

‘Please don’t make me go first,’ I ended up saying instead.

In the end, Rock, Paper, Scissors settled it, and I held my breath, waiting to hopefully hear Jude’s version of what I had been planning to say.

‘Okay.’ He swallowed. ‘I’m just going to come out with it, because I’ve been rehearsing this for a few days now, and I’m still not sure I’ve found the right words.’

‘If it’s any consolation,’ I told him, feeling slightly better, ‘that’s exactly how my part in this exchange is going to start.’

His shoulders dropped a little, and his eyes sought out mine.

‘The thing is,’ he continued, briefly looking at my lips and then into my eyes again, ‘I haven’t been able to put that kiss on the porch out of my mind, Bella, and the better I’ve got to know you, the more I’ve thought about it and the more I’ve wanted to do it again.’

This was going exactly the way I had hoped it would. We were going to say slightly different versions of the same thing and secure ourselves a very merry Christmas as a result. That was, as long as my galloping heart didn’t make me pass out.

‘Since my accident,’ Jude went on, ‘we’ve spent so much more time together in the house, and it’s made me realize…’

‘It’s made you realize what?’ I asked, feeling fit to burst.

‘It’s made me realize that it’s time to pick up the relationship reins again,’ he said in a rush.

‘Oh, Jude,’ I gasped, inching closer as my heart made a further bid to beat its way out of my chest.

‘I know,’ he said, also shifting along the bench towards me, ‘that you’re not looking for anything long term, but I want to be with you, Bella, even if that is just for the duration of my stay in Wynbridge.’

My heart suddenly wasn’t sure that our versions of what we had been gearing up to say were going to be quite so in tandem.

‘So you’re saying…’ I swallowed.

‘I’m saying that I’m willing to fling with you, if you’ll have me,’ Jude laughed, his eyes lighting up further with the words. ‘If all we can have is a brief encounter before I move on, then let’s go for it and enjoy being with each other while we can. It isn’t the sort of relationship I’ve gone in for before, but I know you have, so—’

‘Well,’ I cut in, as my stomach rolled and I rushed to put Jude straight about what it was that I wanted from him, how my desire for fleeting flings had completely waned since he’d come into my life and my home, ‘that would be great. So great, but the thing is—’

‘Having given it some truly deep consideration,’ he then devastatingly interrupted me, ‘given what happened with Tabitha and the fact that I haven’t had any sort of a relationship since then, I think a short-term thing would be best for me right now – and as that’s what you’re into, it’s a win for both of us. Right?’

There was no way I could inflict my ‘I’ve fallen for you, hook, line and sinker’ sentence on Jude now, so I did the only other thing I could think of. I held aloft my mistletoe sprig, kissed the lips off him and hoped my heart would one day forgive me.