Hope Blooms in Tuppenny Bridge (Tuppenny Bridge #5)

Chapter 9

NINE

‘Now, should I or shouldn’t I?’ Kat wondered aloud as she gazed at the covered glass cake stands on the counter, where an array of various confections was clearly calling her name. She rubbed her rapidly expanding baby bump, a wistful expression on her face. ‘I mean, they do say you should eat for two. But that doesn’t literally mean eating double the calories, does it? And I don’t think cake is exactly necessary nutrition for a growing baby, but…’ She sighed. ‘That red velvet cake looks so yummy.’

Sally burst out laughing. ‘It’s not a major decision, love. If you want some cake have some bloody cake. It’s not life or death.’ When Kat continued to dither, she said firmly, ‘Two slices of that red velvet cake an’ all, please, Daisy. There,’ she said, glancing at her best friend, ‘that’s you told. I’m taking control.’

‘Fair enough.’ Kat shrugged. ‘I’m not going to argue with you.’

‘Right, so now that’s us sorted, you go and take a seat and I’ll pay while I wait for our coffees,’ Sally said firmly.

‘You will not! I’m perfectly capable?—’

‘I remember when you were having Hattie,’ Sally reminded her. ‘Those swollen ankles! I don’t want to be responsible for your fluid retention, thanks very much. Go and sit down before… Ooh, look. Isobel’s just walked in.’

Daisy, who’d been enjoying the banter between the two women, felt the smile slide from her face immediately. For goodness’ sake, couldn’t she escape the bloody woman? Now she was home again no doubt she’d be bumping into her occasionally, but this was two days running!

‘Look at her in her sunglasses,’ Sally murmured. ‘I suppose that’s to remind us that she’s just been on holiday. Mind you, she’s got a lovely tan.’

‘It will be out of a bottle,’ Kat said. ‘Isobel’s not daft enough to sit out in the sun without protection. Never mind skin cancer, she’ll be worrying about wrinkles. Priorities and all that.’

Isobel, Daisy thought with some surprise, seemed very different today. She might be dressed as immaculately as always and have a Hollywood starlet thing going on with her designer sunglasses worn indoors, but she wasn’t exactly striding into the café. She appeared quite hunched and nervous, if anything. She approached the counter almost at a shuffle.

It seemed Kat and Sally were thinking the same thing, as Sally said kindly, ‘You all right, Isobel?’

Isobel gave them a faint smile. ‘Fine, thanks.’ She nodded at Daisy. ‘These cakes look lovely, Daisy. Very tempting.’

‘We’re having the red velvet,’ Sally told her. ‘You should treat yourself, love.’

Isobel hesitated, as if considering it, then shook her head. ‘I’d better not. Just a skinny latte to go for me, Daisy, when you’re ready. Please.’

Daisy frowned. This humble politeness wasn’t like Isobel at all.

‘Let me get that,’ Sally said, her kind heart clearly getting the better of her as she handed her debit card to Daisy.

‘Oh, thank you, Sally. That’s very sweet of you,’ Isobel said, sounding uncharacteristically grateful.

‘Not back at work yet then, Isobel?’ Kat asked.

Isobel shook her head. ‘I was supposed to be but… Well, anyway, Kelly’s gran’s offered to stay on for another week.’

‘Ooh, nice. You can spend some time with Noah,’ Sally said.

Daisy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as Isobel visibly cringed.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I guess so,’ she said quietly.

What on earth was wrong with her? Had she had a personality transplant or something?

‘Are you sure you wouldn’t like some cake?’ Kat asked. ‘You can join us if you like. Take ten minutes for a catch up. We’d love to hear about Portugal, wouldn’t we, Sal?’

‘Ooh, yes. I’ve never been to the Algarve, but I might be able to persuade Rafferty that we need a break from the pub.’

Isobel shook her head, her fingers holding her sunglasses in place as if she was afraid the sudden movement would dislodge them.

‘I—I’d better not. Maybe another time.’

Daisy handed Sally her debit card back. ‘Right, so one cappuccino, one decaf, and one skinny latte,’ she said. ‘Coming right up.’

As she turned to deal with the coffee machine, she could barely hear what the three women were talking about, but her mind was whirring. Isobel was behaving weirdly, even for her. When she thought about the arrogant, sarcastic woman who’d made such cutting remarks in the salon yesterday and compared her to the woman standing in her café now, they could have been two different people.

‘There you go,’ she said at last, placing the two cups of coffee on a tray and handing Isobel a takeaway cup holding her skinny latte.

Isobel reached for the coffee and Daisy’s eyes widened in shock.

‘Thank you, Daisy,’ Isobel said quietly. ‘And thank you, Sally. I really appreciate this.’ She gave them all a weak smile. ‘Enjoy your cake,’ she said, then turned and headed down the stairs.

Sally’s mouth was open, and Kat shook her head. ‘Bloody hell. Did you see that?’

‘I did,’ Sally said grimly. ‘And just how do we think she got those then?’

Daisy’s heart was racing. ‘It’s not what you’re thinking,’ she said defensively.

‘And what are we thinking?’ Sally asked.

They all stared at each other.

‘He wouldn’t,’ Daisy said. ‘He’s just not like that.’

‘Daisy, did you not see them? Whopping great bruises all round her wrist and up her arm! And that’s just what we could see. Who knows what her sleeves are covering?’ Sally sounded horrified. ‘How else would she have got them?’

‘Do you think that’s why she was wearing sunglasses indoors?’ Kat murmured, her expression grave.

‘Oh, my God! Of course! And no wonder she’s got Kelly’s gran to cover for her for another week. She can hardly serve in the shop with a black eye, can she?’ Sally shook her head. ‘This is awful. What do we do?’

‘Nothing!’ Daisy cried. ‘I’m sure there’s another explanation for all this. Noah—I mean, he just doesn’t seem the type, does he?’

‘Most of them don’t seem the type,’ Sally said.

‘And just what is the type anyway?’ Kat asked sadly. ‘They don’t exactly wear big signs around their necks, do they? Warning: violent thug. Keep away. I wish.’

She clutched Sally’s arm. ‘Remember when she had her fingers all strapped up last October, Sal?’

‘I do,’ Sally said nodding. ‘I remember thinking at the time there was something fishy about her story, but we were all too preoccupied with supporting Ben and Jennifer, weren’t we?’ She turned to Daisy. ‘It was the anniversary of Leon’s death, you see, and we all met up at the Garden of Ashes in the churchyard.’

‘What did she say had happened?’ Daisy asked, hoping it was a plausible story.

‘I can’t honestly remember,’ Kat admitted. ‘But I think maybe she said she’d fallen or something. But I do remember Noah trying to put his arm around her and her moving away from him.’

‘Ooh, you’re right, love. I remember that, too.’ Sally shook her head. ‘Should we call the police?’

‘For what?’ Daisy asked, aghast. ‘You can’t just accuse Noah of doing something like that. You have no proof.’

‘But we have to protect Isobel,’ Kat said. ‘I mean, she’s not my favourite person, and I don’t think she’s got many friends in this town, but that doesn’t mean she deserves this.’

‘Daisy’s right, though,’ Sally said. ‘Supposing we call the police and Isobel refuses to give a statement. What might he do to her once the police have gone? We’ll have to be careful about this. We need to coax her into admitting what’s going on.’

‘And how do we do that?’ Kat asked. She bit her lip, her eyes troubled. ‘I really don’t like this. It’s horrible. You think you know someone…’

‘But that’s surely the point?’ Daisy asked, feeling increasingly desperate. ‘You do know Noah! You’ve known him for years. Can you honestly believe he’d do such a terrible thing?’

‘Trouble is, love,’ Sally said, ‘the most unlikely people do the most awful things. And what goes on behind closed doors—well, it would make your hair curl.’

‘I don’t want to think it of Noah either,’ Kat said gently. ‘I always liked him, whereas Isobel’s always got on my wick, to be honest. But maybe there’s more to the story than we realise. Maybe that’s why she’s so prickly and downright horrible sometimes. Even sweet little puppies bite if they’re wounded or afraid.’

Sally picked up the tray bearing the coffees and the cake. ‘Come on, let’s go and sit down before your ankles balloon,’ she said. ‘We’ll think of a plan to befriend Isobel. Figure out how we can get her to trust us and confide in us. It’s the best we can do for now.’

She smiled at Daisy. ‘Thanks for these, love. Hey, don’t look so sad. I know it’s horrible but we’re on the case now. We’ll protect Isobel, whether she realises we’re doing it or not.’

She and Kat headed over to a table leaving Daisy staring incredulously after them. What was wrong with them? Daisy had only been in this town for a few months, but she already knew Noah wouldn’t inflict those injuries on his wife. He just wouldn’t.

Yes, the bruises were pretty vivid. And yes, it was odd that Isobel was wearing sunglasses indoors and taking more time off work. And yes, the broken fingers last year were worrying, but…

Icy fingers trailed along Daisy’s spine, making her shiver.

If even the people who’d known Noah for years were having doubts, he could be in real trouble. Somehow, someone had to get to the bottom of this before things went very badly wrong.

The hallway in the vicarage was long and rather gloomy, despite the colourful Victorian tiles on the floor, and the white walls.

Noah supposed it was because there was no window in here. He leaned against the old, cast-iron radiator, feeling sick. What was he even doing here? He was wasting his time. Wasting Zach’s time. As if a vicar didn’t have enough to do.

Ava, he realised, was eyeing him with some concern. ‘Are you all right? You’ve gone terribly pale. Should I fetch you a glass of water?’

‘No, honestly, I’m fine. I just—I wondered if Zach was free for a chat. Just for a few minutes.’

Ava smiled, her hazel eyes twinkling. ‘Oh, he’ll always make time for a chat,’ she assured him. ‘Follow me.’

She led him to the study door, which she opened without knocking and popped her head around.

‘Darling, Noah’s here to see you. Can you spare him a few minutes?’

Noah realised he was holding his breath and wondered what he was hoping Zach’s response would be. When he heard the vicar cheerfully state that he could indeed, he wasn’t sure whether to be glad or sorry.

‘Told you,’ Ava said with a wink.

She held the door open and ushered him into Zach’s study. Zach was sitting at his desk, laptop open in front of him. As Noah entered Zach closed the laptop and gestured to him to sit in one of the two old armchairs that were facing the fireplace.

‘Noah!’ he said, moving away from the desk. ‘This is a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?’

Zach glanced at Ava who gave a slight shrug, which Noah didn’t miss. He felt terrible. He shouldn’t have come. Why had he, anyway?

He sat down and rubbed his face, weariness overwhelming him. Ava gave a discreet cough.

‘Tea, Noah? Coffee? Or would you like something stronger?’

‘Not for me, thank you.’ He couldn’t stomach it. Not even a drink.

‘Perhaps later, love. Thanks.’ Zach’s broad Yorkshire tones were rich and warm and somehow soothing. They reminded Noah of Daisy’s accent. There was something very comforting about that.

Ava closed the door quietly behind her and Zach sat down in the other armchair.

‘You seem troubled, Noah,’ he said gently. ‘It’s not your aunt, is it?’

‘Oh no! No, she’s fine.’ He studied his hands intently. ‘I just thought… How are the plans for the sheep fair coming along?’

Zach frowned. ‘Is this Eugenie checking up on me?’ he asked, his tone gently teasing.

‘Not at all! I was just wondering, that’s all. I thought—I thought I’d pop in and ask, seeing as I never seem to contribute much to this thing. Do you—I mean, if you need any help…’

‘Well.’ Zach rubbed his chin thoughtfully. ‘I mean, there’s always something to do if you really want to be involved, although it strikes me you’ve got enough on your plate running that school of yours. By the time the fair comes around you’ll be up to your eyes in it with the autumn term.’

Noah nodded. ‘Hmm. Guess so.’

They were both quiet for a long moment. Noah heard the old-fashioned clock on Zach’s mantelpiece ticking loudly.

‘Have they decided who the recipient of the Tuppenny Bridge Fund is going to be this year?’

Zach shook his head. ‘No, not yet. Why, have you any thoughts?’

Noah’s mind blanked. ‘Not really,’ he admitted sheepishly.

‘I see.’

Zach was clearly puzzled, and Noah couldn’t blame him. He should leave. Get out of here before he made an even bigger fool of himself. He got to his feet. ‘Well, if everything’s okay maybe I’ll?—’

‘Please don’t go,’ Zach urged. ‘Look, I’m going to have a coffee and a biscuit. Why don’t you join me? I’d love the excuse to take a break from sermon writing for a while.’

Noah hesitated. ‘I wouldn’t want to impose on you, or Ava.’

‘You’re definitely not imposing on me. And anyway, I’ll make the coffee and fetch the biscuits myself. I’ll make Ava one, too, so you’d be doing her a favour, an’ all. What about it?’

Noah felt he could hardly refuse, so he nodded.

Zach beamed at him. ‘Smashing. I’ll be right back.’

As he left the study, Noah leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, wondering what on earth had made him seek out the vicar of all people. It wasn’t as if he was particularly religious.

Even so, there was something reassuring and comforting about Zach. Noah thought that, even if he hadn’t been a vicar, he’d have been his friend. He was kind and easy to talk to. And maybe the fact that he was a vicar would mean he was even less likely to judge. He didn’t want judgement. He just wanted someone to listen while he tried his best to work out this mess in his mind.

Good luck with that .

He wasn’t sure how long he waited, nor how many times he nearly got up and left the vicarage, his nerve almost failing him on countless occasions. It was a relief when Zach finally opened the study door, his face set with concentration as he balanced a tray on one arm and manoeuvred a tricky door handle with his free hand.

‘Right, that’s that done,’ he said cheerfully, placing the tray on a round table between the two armchairs. ‘I’ve pinched the packet of KitKats out of the fridge before our Bea gets her mitts on them. That’s the trouble when the kids are off school. All the good stuff gets eaten before I even see it.’

He sank into the armchair and smiled. ‘Help yourself to milk and sugar, and have as many KitKats as you like. As long as you leave me at least four,’ he added, laughing.

He was always such a nice man, Noah thought. Tuppenny Bridge was lucky to have him.

They sat in amiable silence for a while, the only sound the occasional ruffling of KitKat wrappers and the odd slurp of coffee from Zach.

‘So,’ Zach said at last, ‘Isobel’s back then. How did she enjoy Portugal?’

It was an innocent question, but to Noah it felt like an interrogation had begun.

‘O-okay, I think. Her d-dad seems to love it over there. She’s on about going back to see him in October.’

‘Oh?’ Zach raised an eyebrow. ‘Half term, is it? You’re going with her next time?’

Noah swallowed. ‘No, I don’t think so. She doesn’t get to see much of him, so she’d prefer to go alone. J-just so she can devote all her attention to him,’ he added hastily.

‘Right. I get you.’ Zach gave him a thoughtful look but said nothing, busying himself with opening yet another KitKat.

‘I was wondering…’ Noah paused, not sure why he’d blurted that out.

‘Aye?’ Zach’s expression was encouraging, and he replaced the KitKat on the tray as he waited for Noah to finish.

Noah took a steadying breath. ‘It’s—it’s about me. Me and—well, me and Isobel.’

‘O- kay .’ Zach leaned back in the chair and steepled his forefingers under his chin. ‘What about you and Isobel?’

‘We’ve been having—problems.’

‘I see.’ Zach nodded. ‘And how can I help?’

Noah gave a short laugh, finally meeting Zach’s gaze. ‘Honestly? I don’t know that you can. I don’t know that anyone can.’

‘Why don’t you tell me what’s brought you here today?’ Zach asked. ‘There must have been something that made you think you needed to talk to me.’

‘I suppose…’ Noah shrugged, feeling helpless. ‘Do you think everything can be forgiven, Zach?’

Zach’s eyebrows shot up in evident surprise. ‘Are you asking me as a vicar, or as a friend?’

Noah wasn’t entirely sure. ‘Both, I suppose. Is there a difference?’

Zach considered. ‘Well, I suppose… Jesus teaches that all sins are forgiven if we repent and accept Him as our saviour. That’s what’s meant by grace, after all. If you turn to the Lord and you’re truly sorry for your sins then, yes, they’re washed away by the sacrifice Christ made on the cross.’ He sighed. ‘As a friend, I’d say I know it’s not always that easy, and sometimes it’s bloody hard to believe that forgiveness is deserved. I struggle, too, when I hear certain things on the news. I think, how can that person possibly be forgiven? But I have to believe in the grace of God, or what’s the point?’

‘Even—even sins that are against another person? Even if you’ve hurt another person?’

Zach frowned. ‘It doesn’t matter what the sin is. The same applies. Christ has paid for our sins already. Noah,’ he leaned forward, his forehead creased with concern, ‘what’s all this about?’

Noah shook his head. ‘Just—just wondering aloud, that’s all.’ He glanced around the study, noting the framed photos on the wall of Zach and Ava, Ava on her own, the children, the whole family together. Sparkling eyes. Wide smiles. How happy they looked.

‘Do you and Ava ever argue?’ he asked, without thinking. Realising what he’d said his face burned with embarrassment. ‘Sorry. None of my business. Ignore me.’

Zach smiled. ‘Of course we argue,’ he said. ‘We’re human beings, with very different upbringings, and all the stresses that come with modern life. Not to mention two teenage children who drive us nuts at times. Heck, there’d be summat up with us if we didn’t argue.’ He shook his head. ‘There’s nothing wrong with arguing in a healthy marriage, Noah. I’m guessing you and Isobel are experiencing difficulties at the moment?’

‘You could say that.’

‘Has this been going on long?’

Noah sighed. ‘Yes.’

‘Right. And can you pinpoint where it all started to go wrong?’

He felt his stomach tighten with dread. So long ago. The first time I let anger win. It’s just got worse and worse since that moment, and I don’t know how to fix it. God knows, I’ve tried to put things right, but I just can’t…

‘Not really,’ he said. ‘You know what it’s like. These things escalate without you even noticing at first. Then one day you look around you and you realise there’s no joy left. Only misery and guilt.’

‘Guilt?’ Zach asked. ‘Guilt about what?’

‘It doesn’t matter. Do you think there’s a point where there’s just no going back? No way of saving things? And when you hit that point, is it okay to walk away? Even if it’s you that started the rot, I mean? Even if it’s all your fault? Is it better to admit that you can’t put things right, no matter how much you wanted to, and that you need to get out for both your sakes?’

Zach shook his head, clearly confused. ‘I—I suppose so. Well, yeah, of course. The church teaches that marriage is for life, and in an ideal world that still holds true. But nowadays we recognise that sometimes it’s better to separate and find some happiness either alone or with a new partner. But,’ he added, holding up one hand as Noah opened his mouth to speak, ‘that advice comes with a caution. The problem we’re seeing so much of is that people tend to give up on marriage far too quickly nowadays. The marriage vows are still sacred and should never be made lightly. We really shouldn’t give up on our marriage until we’ve exhausted every possible way to make it work.’ His eyes expressed sympathy. ‘Are things really that bad, Noah?’

‘I should go,’ Noah said, half rising.

‘Go? No, no of course you shouldn’t,’ Zach told him. He nodded at Noah’s mug. ‘Come on now, you haven’t even drunk your coffee. And if you don’t help me with these KitKats, I’ll eat the lot.’ His eyes twinkled, but there was clear concern in them, too. ‘Why don’t you tell me what’s going on, eh?’

Noah sat down again and took a steadying breath. ‘I think,’ he said slowly, ‘that all I do is hurt Isobel constantly. I—I broke her heart once and it seems at that moment I also broke any chance we had of happiness. Any chance she had of happiness. What she is now is what I made her, and I don’t think I can ever forgive myself. But it worries me. She’s so insecure. You know, her parents were divorced when she was very young, and they used her as a weapon all through her childhood. She’s always had to fight for their time and attention. Even now they rarely bother with her unless they want something, or to score points with the other. As a result, she seems terrified of being alone. Terrified of going through a divorce herself. I sometimes think she’s only with me because of that fear, not because she loves me any longer. If she ever did.’

‘I’m sure that’s not true,’ Zach began, but Noah shook his head.

‘It is true, Zach. And maybe—maybe if I’m honest, I’m only with her out of fear, too.’

‘Fear of what?’ Zach asked gently. When Noah didn’t reply he leaned towards him, his hand resting on Noah’s arm. ‘Come on now, mate. What is it you’re afraid of?’

‘I’m afraid that…’ Noah stopped, unsure suddenly how to explain. He hadn’t put into words before the fear that sometimes made him wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, heart thudding with a memory he couldn’t bear. ‘I suppose I’m afraid that if I walk away from Isobel, my only chance to atone for my sins will be gone.’

Zach’s eyebrows knitted together. ‘That sounds very serious. You sound more like a vicar than I do,’ he added, trying to inject some lightness into the conversation. ‘Come on, how bad can things be? All this atone for your sins lark. What have you done that can be so bad?’

‘Like I said,’ Noah said heavily, ‘I broke her heart.’ He stood, determined to get out of here before he said something he’d regret.

‘ Once ,’ Zach pointed out. ‘You said you’d broken her heart once . Sounds like it was some time ago, and look how long you’ve been together. It’s got to be worth the effort to mend it, hasn’t it? Sit down, mate, and let’s try to figure out how we can fix this for you both.’

‘I need to go,’ Noah protested.

‘You came here for a reason,’ Zach said. ‘You’ve come this far. Why walk out now? Besides, if you don’t drink your coffee I’ll take it as a personal insult.’

Noah reached for his coffee mug and sat down again, taking a large gulp of coffee and waiting for the vicar’s verdict.

Zach was silent for a moment as he contemplated what Noah had said. ‘Have you thought about counselling?’ he suggested at last. ‘Marriage guidance counselling can work wonders. It might?—’

‘She would never agree to that,’ Noah said heavily. ‘She’s a very private person, and a very proud one. And the problem is, there are things we could never admit to another person. Things we haven’t even admitted to each other, and I doubt we ever will now.’ He ran a hand through his hair and gave Zach a rueful smile. ‘Not making much sense, am I? Sorry.’ He took another long gulp of coffee as if it would somehow help calm his nerves. ‘The top and bottom of it is, I want Isobel to be happy, but I don’t think I can make her happy. I don’t think I’ve made her happy for a very long time. But she’s too afraid to let go and I don’t want to hurt her any more than I already have, so…’

‘And what about you, Noah? What about your happiness?’

‘The truth is, Zach, I don’t think I deserve happiness. I really don’t.’ He drained the last of his coffee and set the mug back on the tray.

‘Everyone deserves happiness,’ Zach said kindly. ‘I think you’re being way too hard on yourself, Noah. Whatever you did that hurt Isobel so much, she’s clearly forgiven you or you wouldn’t still be together. And you’ve been a good husband. It’s been a good marriage. You’ve both worked hard, you’ve built a lovely home together, supported each other in your careers.’

Noah shook his head in wonder. Was that really how it looked to outsiders? If they only knew…

‘You’re saying I should give this marriage another try,’ he said dully.

‘I can’t tell you what to do, Noah,’ Zach said. ‘Only you know what’s in your heart. All I will say is that you and Isobel have been together a long time, and it would be a shame to walk away after all those years. It seems to me that you’ve got some sort of burden you’re carrying, and you need to deal with that before you can start to work on the marriage.’

Noah gave him a weak smile. ‘You could be right,’ he said. He nodded at the clock on the mantelpiece. ‘I really had better go. I’ve taken up more than enough of your time.’

‘Honestly, I don’t mind. Stay as long as you want,’ Zach assured him. ‘I’d like us to get to the bottom of this if we can. Figure out a way forward for you both.’

Noah didn’t reply. He headed to the door, his hand reaching for the handle.

‘Will you at least consider the counselling?’ Zach pleaded. ‘If not for the two of you then maybe for yourself. It seems to me you might need it. Or I’m here, any time you want to talk.’

‘Thank you.’ Noah shook his head slightly, staring at the carpet. ‘You’re very kind.’

He wrenched open the door and left the room, the lump in his throat threatening to choke him.