Hoss’s Limits (House of Lustz #2)

Cady Chapter 19

I decided to stop in Murfreesboro and hit an ATM. Wiser to get money from one there and not near my destination. By now, Tajah probably had Mikhail trying to locate me. I knew enough to know phones and credit cards could be used to track people. And I knew Mikhail’s Bratva family probably could help him do it. I just needed to be alone and get myself together to continue my lonely existence. Sometimes, I was so depressed I wondered why keep going. The prospect of living for fifty or more years alone was beyond bleak.

After getting my cash, I kept going east. I didn’t stop until I was in Gatlinburg. Too bad it was winter, not one of the other three seasons so that I could enjoy the trees. However, my disaster of a love life didn’t care what season it was. Since I didn’t plan to be here a week or more, I didn’t look for a cabin to rent. Instead, I found a decent hotel and booked a room. Paying cash, I hauled one of my bags from the car to my room. At least I had luggage and wouldn’t have to wear the same thing for days.

I’d called Dottie early, after I left, and told her I had to cancel my appointments for tomorrow and Monday. I didn’t give her an explanation other than it was an emergency. She’d been so sympathetic. I felt guilty saying it was an emergency and for inconveniencing my patients’ owners. If I kept it up, I’d start to lose them. Just my luck, a man ruining my life’s work. I swore it would never happen, and until Hoss, no one had ever impacted it. No matter how bad it got, I always went to work.

I sat down and sent off a quick email to Dottie. In it, I advised her I’d check in tomorrow. I wasn’t up to staying online, so I shut it down after I sent it. At a loss, since I was always so busy, I tried the television. It was soon apparent there was even less on than at Hoss’s. He had all the primo channels, and still, I had trouble finding something to interest me. The hotel had less.

Looking around my room, I knew I couldn’t stay holed up in it, or I’d go insane. Noting places were still lit up, I decided to go for a walk and see what I could. I bundled up in a sweater and my coat. It was colder in this part of the state. I didn’t have gloves or a scarf. I hadn’t needed them yet in Nashville. Oh well, if I found I did, maybe I’d find a shop open and I could buy some. If not, there’d be one of the big department stores nearby.

Stepping outside, the brisk gust of wind made me shiver, but I knew after I got to walking, I’d warm up. I took off in the direction with the most stores. There were still people out and about. Even if it wasn’t peak tourist season, it had visitors along with the townspeople. I set a brisk pace. I found I enjoyed window shopping. It had been a long time since I’d done it. Tajah and I did need that girls’ day I spoke of.

I wandered about for an hour. As it got later, it grew colder. That decided me. I would go back to the hotel. It had a restaurant in it, so I’d grab dinner there and then go to my room for the night. Maybe I’d be able to focus on my e-reader and a book. I knew I had numerous ones on it waiting to be read .

Dinner wasn’t anything spectacular, but it was good. I took my time. I didn’t get up to leave until I saw a couple come in, and they sat near me. They were gazing all lovingly at each other. It hurt to watch, so I called it a night. After a hot shower, I got into bed and picked up my reader. I didn’t bother to look to see if there was anything on television. I struggled for over an hour before I gave up. I kept reading the same paragraphs over and over.

The reason was that I couldn’t stop thinking about Hoss or about how I’d been so sure this time I’d found a man who would love me and never push me away or leave. Why I hurt so much this time, I knew the answer. I’d never loved any of the other men in my past. Yeah, there were degrees of lust and affection, but never love. None of them hurt my heart. Hoss had broken it.

Turning off the light, I buried my face in my pillow and let the emotional storm loose. I muffled my cries and screams into my pillow. I had no idea how long it lasted before I was too exhausted to do it anymore. That’s when I drifted off into a fitful sleep, filled with dreams of Hoss.

I woke up feeling like death warmed over. I was stiff, and my eyes were sore, scratchy, and blurry. I rushed to the bathroom and splashed water on them, hoping they’d feel better, and my vision would clear up. It helped with my sight but not the other two problems. Looking at myself in the mirror, I groaned. I didn’t look much better. This wouldn’t do. I refused to walk around with the appearance of a zombie.

Finding my makeup, I got to work. I had to use more than I normally did, but when I was done, I appeared alive and had color. I did enough to make my hair presentable in a bun. After getting dressed, I thought about what to do with my day. Maybe this time, I’d take my car and go exploring for the day. There was so much to see.

Not risking my phone, I used my laptop. I did a quick search of area attractions, which there was no lack of, and then I picked a couple. I noted the addresses and then got offline. I didn’t check my personal or work emails. I wasn’t here to worry about any of that. Instead of having breakfast in the restaurant, I stopped at a nearby coffee shop and got a large coffee and a pastry. Both were delicious.

I ended up finding a ghost-walking tour that was fun and very informative. I learned so much about the area and the Cherokee Indians who called it home, and some do to this day. From there, I decided to take the self-guided walking tour of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. By the time I was done, I was tired and hungry.

Stopping in town, I found a small restaurant and ate a late lunch slash early dinner there. When I was finished, I wasn’t ready to go back to my room, so I did an aimless drive around. It was dark by the time I went back to the hotel. It ended up being a repeat of last night. God, I had to shake this off. He was just a man. How long did it take to heal a broken heart?