Hoss’s Limits (House of Lustz #2)

Hoss

Cady had been gone for over forty-eight hours. I was about to lose my fucking mind. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or work. All I did was obsessively watch my phone, bug Mikhail, drive around Nashville, and sit outside her apartment. Tajah hadn’t heard from her. I went to the clinic yesterday to talk to Dottie. It was closed. I got Dottie’s number from Mikhail, who I assumed got it from Outlaw. I called her to see if she knew anything. It had been a bust.

“Hello,” Dottie answered cautiously. I didn’t blame her. She had no idea who was calling her.

“Hi, Dottie, it’s Hoss, Cady’s man. I hate to disturb you, but do you have a minute?”

“Of course, is Cady alright?”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out. Have you spoken to her?”

“No, not since she messaged me early yesterday evening to close the clinic for a few days and later emailed me to see if it was done. What’s going on, Hoss? She told me it was an emergency, but if that’s the case, why are you calling me and asking what I know?” Suspicion was evident in her voice.

“Truthfully, I was a goddamn dick, and she got the wrong idea about it, and she took off. She told Tajah she needed a few days alone. No one knows where she is, Dottie. I’m afraid she’ll get hurt. She’s out there alone and upset. I’ve got to find her. Is there anywhere you recall her ever saying she wanted to visit?”

I held my breath, praying she’d say yes. I deflated when she denied it. “No, not that I recall. It had to be a rather big dick moment for her to leave, Hoss. Cady doesn’t let her personal life interfere with her work. If she left, I think it’s best if you don’t call or ask me questions. My loyalty is to her.”

“Dottie, please, it’s not what you think! I didn’t put a hand on her, I didn’t cheat on her, nor did I yell at her. I swear to God. However, I still hurt her. She misunderstood why I was giving her the silent treatment.”

She groaned. “You did what? Oh, Hoss, that’s one of the worst things you could’ve done to her if what you’re saying is the truth.”

“It is. Ask Tajah. Listen. I know I have no right to ask, but if you hear from her, will you let me know? And tell her I need to talk to her. Please.” I wasn’t too proud to beg.

“I’ll think about it. I’ll see what Cady has to say about what you did. I’ve got to go.”

Knowing it was as good as I was getting, I said, “Thank you and goodbye.”

That was yesterday, and still not a peep out of Cady. If I didn’t hear something soon, they’d need to lock my ass up before I went on a rampage tearing up Tennessee trying to find her.

Gazing out at the darkness outside the window, I called it. I couldn’t stand to be here alone a moment longer. I’d head to Mikhail and Tajah’s. If they were busy, then I’d go somewhere. Taking out my phone, I sent off a brief text.

Me: Do you two have plans?

A handful of seconds later, I had his response .

Mikhail: No. Come on over. We can pace and worry together.

Me: TY. Be there ASAP.

Mikhail: Come on up.

I didn’t waste time getting to the garage and into a car. I zoomed off for the Gulch area. I had to contend with traffic, but it wasn’t anything like it would be this time of evening on a weekday. A sense of relief came over me when I made it there as I rode the elevator up. Someone must’ve seen me and called up because when I got off, Mikhail was at their apartment door, holding the door open. When I got to him, he didn’t say a word. He merely pulled me close for a manly hug and then let go so I was able to enter. Tajah was waiting for me. Her hug was much different. I gave her an extra squeeze. When she was done, I let her lead me to the living room, and I sat.

“You look like you need a drink,” Mikhail said as he walked to the adjoining kitchen.

“I feel like I need a whole damn bottle. If we don’t find her soon, I need you to knock me out and cart my ass off to the nuthouse. I can’t take this. All I do is imagine she’s hurt somewhere and needs me. This relationship-and-loving-someone business isn’t for the weak.”

Taj gave a sniff. I saw how red her eyes were. I held out an arm. She got up and came over to sit next to me, letting me hug her while her man fixed us a drink. “Don’t cry,” I told her.

“I should break your bones for making her cry and having her hug you,” Mikhail joked. Or I hoped it was one.

“I didn’t mean to make her cry. As for the hug, she started it.”

This made both of them chuckle. He was fast. In no time, I had a drink in hand along with him. Taj had shaken her head no. The burn of my favorite whiskey as it ran down to my stomach and hit was welcome. I had to hold back from downing the whole thing and asking for another. I wasn’t someone who relied on alcohol to calm me. My brother’s life had made me extremely careful. I never tried illegal drugs, not even weed.

“When the hell will we hear something?” I growled.

“We know we’re at a standstill until Outlaw finds something or she calls one of us. Outlaw thinks she’s being careful not to use her credit cards. The phone hasn’t been back on. He’s working to get access to her emails to see if he can find her that way. He’s got alerts or whatever they are on the internet to notify him if she pops up. His words. He’ll let me know immediately,” Mikhail assured us.

“I know. I’m bitching to myself more than anything. What if it’s not enough?” I voiced my other fear.

“What do you mean, not enough? Not enough what?” Taj asked. She’d gotten up and went to sit on her man’s lap. He was cuddling her. It made me ache to be doing the same to Cady Cat.

“I mean, when she does call or even comes back, what if apologizing and explaining why I did it isn’t enough to persuade her to forgive me and let me back into her life? She could say it was all a mistake to allow me a chance, and she’s not willing to give me another.” As I voiced what I’d been thinking since yesterday, I almost threw up .

“Cady won’t do that. She’s hurt and unsure, but she loves you. If she didn’t, there would be no way she would’ve left like this. You might have to do some penance, groveling, or make a few promises, but I don’t see her ousting you from her life,” Tajah reassured me.

“I pray you’re right because if you’re not, I don’t know what I’ll do. I do know one thing, though, if she does forgive me.”

“What’s that?” Mikhail asked.

“I’m declaring my love, putting a ring on her finger, and hurrying her ass down the aisle as fast as possible. Oh, and I’m knocking her up, too. It’ll be harder for her to leave me if we’re married and we have kids.”

“Hoss, you can’t just marry her and get her pregnant to prevent her leaving you!” Tajah gasped in outrage.

“Why not?” Mikhail and I both asked at the same time.

She huffed and rolled her eyes. “Barbarians,” she muttered.

“Taj, I’m not just doing those to make her stay. I want to marry her and have a family. The sooner, the better. I’m not getting any younger. I’ll be forty next year. I want those things now with her.”

“Well, that’s better, but still. You both sound like cavemen when you say things like that.”

“Ahem, primal here. Are you that surprised?” Mikhail asked with a quirk of his eyebrow. She giggled and gave him a kiss. I loved and detested seeing them be so affectionate right now. It only illustrated how alone I was.

“Change of subject because this isn’t helping Hoss. What is the latest on your brother? Is he still in jail or what?” Mikhail asked.

“He is. Since Dad and Mom are gone, he has no one to bail him out. If he has friends, which I doubt, none of them would have the cash or collateral to do it. I made sure they slapped him with every charge they could. He’s pled guilty, so just awaiting his sentencing, which should be soon, and then off to prison, he goes for a while.”

“Maybe he’ll end up in the same one as that guy who killed Cady’s mentor,” Tajah mused.

“What!?” I exclaimed.

She appeared startled. “Oh, you don’t know about that? Crap, I thought she would’ve mentioned it by now. It’s why she’s so paranoid about hiding and locking up her medications. When she was interning, she worked for a vet who had been one for forty years. She learned a ton from him, but he kept his medications locked in a glass case. She tried to tell him it wasn’t secure enough, but since no one had tried to steal them, he waved off her concern. One night, he worked late, and there was a burglary. The thieves didn’t know Dr. Hamilton was there. They killed him and then stole the meds. It was Cady who identified one of them on the security video. He wore a mask, but she recognized a tattoo that was exposed when his sleeve pulled up. It led to them finding him and having him roll on his partner for a lighter sentence. He’s serving twenty years to life, I think. The other is life without parole. They’ve been in there for seven years. Maybe the three of them will be in the same one.”

I wondered briefly why Cady hadn’t told me. Then I knew why. She didn’t want me to worry even more about her working late or alone. “No, she didn’t tell me, but I think I know why. Are you sure the one with the lesser sentence is still in there?”

“As far as I know. Surely, they wouldn’t let a man like that out after only seven years. He killed someone.”

“It’s happened. Do you know the man’s name? After we get Cady home, I’d like to have him checked to be sure. We assumed it was random thieves trying to get into her clinic and hitting the others, but what if it’s not?”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that. I’ll write it down,” she said. I watched her pop up off Mikhail’s lap and hurry to the kitchen. She came back with a pen and notebook. As she scribbled the information down, I tried to think of something else.

“Why don’t—” Mikhail began to say when he was cut off by the ringing of a phone. It wasn’t mine. I glanced at them and saw Mikhail remove his from his pocket. He scanned the screen. I saw his face light up a second before he answered it. His next words energized me.

“Hey, Outlaw, it’s good to hear from you. Tell us you have news for us. I have Hoss here, and he’s ready to go off the deep end. Tajah isn’t much better. Can I put you on speaker so they can hear?” He paused for a couple of seconds and then pressed a button. A voice I didn’t know came over the phone.

“Hello Tajah and Hoss. Sorry for keeping you waiting, but your Cady is a wily one. She knew enough to make me work for it. She didn’t use credit cards or her phone. I found she’d gotten money out of an ATM in Murfreesboro the day she left, but from there, she could’ve gone in any direction. I’ve been waiting, and finally, I got a hit.”

The ATM was news to me. “Do you know where she is?” I asked impatiently.

“I think so. She checked into a hotel in Gatlinburg. She paid cash, so I had to wait for her name to register in their system, and those aren’t automatic when a credit card isn’t used. Their system just updated and pinged my account. I can’t promise she’s still there, but she was.”

“Where?” I practically shouted.

“I just sent it to your phone,” he said calmly as my phone beeped with a text message alert. I fumbled to get it out. I read it as Mikhail spoke to him. I tuned out what was being said. I couldn’t believe it. A real lead. I tuned back in long enough to thank Outlaw.

“I’m sorry. Thank you, Outlaw. I owe you.”

“I’m happy to help. I’ll keep watch in case she’s moved on, but if she wanted peace and quiet, that would be a place I’d go. Good luck, and maybe one day, I’ll take you up on your offer, Hoss. ’Night, and Mikhail, we’ll talk later.”

“Sounds good, goodnight, Outlaw. Again, thank you,” Mikhail stated as Tajah called out thank you in the background. I was on my feet, aiming for the front door.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Mikhail asked. He was on his feet with Taj tucked under his arm. I shook my head.

“No, I need to do this alone. I’ll call and let you know when I find her. Don’t expect us back for a day or more. I might need time to talk her into excusing my stupidity. And even if she does so right away, I think we need a couple of days of just us and away from everything. ”

“You got it. Call if you need us.”

I shook his hand, kissed Taj on the cheek, and then raced out the door and down the long hallway to the elevator. It would take less than three hours to get there. Faster, at the rate I’d drive. Please, don’t let her not be there.

Two hours and fourteen minutes later, I was outside her door. Outlaw had not only provided the address but also her room number. I stopped at the desk and asked if she was still there. The clerk wouldn’t say. I walked outside, but I watched through the window. As soon as he went into a back room, I hurried inside and down to the elevator. I did it that way because I didn’t want him to call her and say I was coming. However, she could still refuse to open her door. Taking a deep breath, I knocked. I listened hard and swore I heard sounds, and then her sweet voice called out.

“Just a minute. Coming.”

I waited, holding my breath. I was surprised when the door swung open, and I saw her standing there wearing a smile. It instantly disappeared when she saw me. She tried to shut the door on me, but I had brute strength and desperation on my side. I caught it and pushed inside. She backed away from me. I didn’t want her to fear me, but I couldn’t risk her locking me out. I shut the door before saying anything.

“Cady, you don’t need to be afraid of me. I’m not here to hurt you. I just want to talk,” I implored her.

“Well, I don’t feel like talking to you, Hoss. You need to leave. There’s no need for you to come after me. No matter what Tajah asked. Tell her I’m fine and I’ll be home soon. ”

“I didn’t come because Tajah or anyone else asked me to. I came because I needed to see you, to explain.”

“What’s to explain? You’re done with whatever this was between us. You’ve discovered, like the others, that I’m too much to deal with and not worth the effort. It’s alright. I’m a big girl. All you had to do was tell me. There was no need to freeze me out.”

“Christ, you’re not too much to deal with, and I wasn’t freezing you out, not the way you think. And I sure as fuck wasn’t trying to get rid of you!” I told her urgently. Hearing her say that in such a doubtless tone angered me.

She shrugged as she moved closer to the other side of the room. “Even if it wasn’t, it’s inevitable. We need to get this over with now before one of us gets hurt. If this doesn’t show you that I’m not a good partner, the next time will. We tried. It’s time to get back to our lives.”

Letting out a growl, I stalked toward her. She tried to evade me, but the room was too small, plus I was too big with long arms. I caught her when she attempted to dart around me for the door. I wrapped her in my arms. She struggled and kicked to get away, but I held onto her. Even fighting me, it felt amazing to have her in my arms. I inhaled her scent. Despite how serious this was, my cock stirred. I walked to the bed and sat, holding her on my lap. She glared up at me and tried to head-butt me. I chuckled. That was my fiery Tiny.

“What’s so funny, asshole?” she growled at me.

“It’s how determined you are. I love it. Your fiery side is one of my favorite ones.”

“I’ll show you fiery. How about I take a chunk out of you and leave you unable to have sex or children as a reminder?”

“Well, I wouldn’t like it, but then you wouldn’t either.”

“Why would I give a shit?” she spat back. She continued to fight to get loose. Her wiggling was turning me on, and my cock was growing hard. She was too upset to notice, but she would.

“Because it means no more sex and no children for you.”

“It’s not as if I need to worry about those.”

“Oh, yes, you do. I’m not letting you walk away from me over this, Cady. It’ll happen over my dead body.”

“Well, I can arrange that,” she snapped again.

“God, stop. You’re making me so damn hard, and we can’t have sex right now. We have to talk this out first.” I pressed my erection harder into her bottom. She gasped and stopped wiggling. Astonishment, desire, and anger were all warring within her. I saw them all in her expressions.

“I have nothing to say,” was her response after she composed herself.

“Well, I do. And since you don’t, let me start. I’m sorry that I went silent on you, and you took it to mean I no longer wanted you. That was never the truth, not for a second. I always want you. I was showing you my brat side. I assumed you’d recognize it as such. I forgot you’re not versed in all things brat, nor did I explain how far I’d react with the silent treatment if you pushed me too far. Having you disobey me over something so important did it.”

“So this is all my fault,” she said.

“No, I didn’t say that. It’s both of our faults. Yours for going against a hard limit of mine. Me for not explaining what I was doing and why.”

“So after I leave, you suddenly want to talk and pay attention to me. Sure,” she snorted.

“No, I planned to end the silent treatment when I got home Thursday only to find my woman had run off, and no one knew where she was or when she’d be back. Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been? I’ve been going crazy trying to find you. All I did was picture you hurt or, worse, dead. Cady, what do you think would’ve happened if you were hurt by my brother or out here? Or killed?”

“You’d move on and find someone more suited to you,” she said cavalierly.

I’d never done it to a woman, and I hadn’t imagined doing it to her, but I did. I shook her. It wasn’t hard, but it did what I wanted. It grabbed her attention. Through gritted teeth, I reprimanded her and let her see my true feelings.

“Don’t ever fucking say that. I would never move on from losing you. Don’t you get it? I know I messed up this past week, but before that, didn’t I show you that I love you? I do. More than anything. I can’t picture my life without you in it, Cady. I love you. I want to marry you. I want you to bear my children. I’ve never told a woman that. Do you hear me? I LOVE YOU!” I partially hollered. What would it take to get through to her that she was worthwhile and not too much for me, no matter how bratty she got?

She gaped at me in astonishment and said nothing. I was about to crack and get on my knees to beg her when she spoke. “I, uhm, are you sure?” Her disbelief and hesitancy gutted me .

“I’ve never been surer of anything. God, I know we need to talk this out, but I can’t wait,” I muttered.

“Wait for what?”

“To do this,” I whispered a moment before I took her mouth.

I needed to feel her lips and taste her. It had been far too long without both. Staying away from her and not sharing any touches or intimacies had been horrible for me. I fought every time I was near her in that week not to give her any. Assuming she took me back, I’d have to modify how I responded to things like that. Freezing her out would send Cady into a tailspin. It was clear. She might never react any differently after her history with her parents and other men.

She was as eager as I was. Our lips pressed together repeatedly, our tongues mated, and our teeth nipped. We were both panting when we parted. I initiated breaking our kiss, although I didn’t want to, so we could finish talking. I pressed my forehead to hers.

“Cadence Anderson, tell me what I have to say, do, or swear to get you to forgive me and come home with me. No matter what it is, I’ll do it. Just don’t tell me to leave. It’ll literally kill me.”

She gripped my face between her hands and lifted my head away from hers. She stared deeply into my eyes. “Do you mean it? You love me and want me to have your babies?”

“God, yes. And if you’ll let me, we can start tonight on the first one. I want to see you round with my baby so damn much. The wedding doesn’t have to be before the baby, but I’d prefer it.”

“Wedding? You meant that, too?”

“Hell, yeah. I want it all. Do you? Do you think you can love me? I have enough for both of us if you can’t.”

“Hush. I told you a while ago I was falling in love with you. That’s no longer the truth.” My heart seized, and then she went on. “I’m past falling, and I’ve fallen all the way. I love you, Magnus. And while we have things to iron out, know that I’d love to be your wife and the mother of your children. As for starting on the first one now, it’ll have to wait. My birth control doesn’t run out for two months.”

As her words sank in, I gave a whoop of jubilation. Then I kissed her again. When I came up for air, she was panting and smiling. “The two-month thing sucks, but it’ll give us more time to practice,” I informed her.

She laughed as I grinned. I sobered up after that. “We need to talk out the other part. The part that made you run.”

“I know. And I’m sorry I overreacted. I let my past convince me that you were done with me. The men who weren’t physically abusive with me ended us the way you were acting. I thought you were doing the same. I had to leave and protect myself. It hurt too much to stay and wait for you to tell me yourself.”

“I know. Tajah told me. I had no idea. I can’t tell you how wretched I feel for making you think it for even a moment, let alone for days. I promise, when I get into my brat mood, I’ll find a different way to express it.”

“No, you shouldn’t have to change. You aren’t asking me to. Just promise if it’s new, to clue me in on what your typical bratty behavior is. I’m used to you being the handler, not the brat.”

I didn’t argue, but I would work to not be silent with her. “I can do that. And you have to swear you’ll talk to me and not go running off if you have concerns or questions. I can’t handle not knowing where you are or having to get people to hunt you down for me.”

“Hunt me? That reminds me, how did you know where to find me? I didn’t use my credit card. I kept off my phone.”

“I shouldn’t tell you, but since you’re never taking off again, I will. Mikhail got Outlaw to find you. He has other methods and only had to wait for one of them to alert him to your location. I came as soon as I got the address.”

“Wow, remind me to be afraid of him. Are we good?”

“We’re good for the moment. We’ll talk out our feelings and stuff more later, but for now, I want to snuggle with you and spend the next day or two just you and me, no outside world. Well, as soon as one of us texts to let Tajah and Mikhail know I found you and we’re together. You had them worried, too.”

She sighed and nodded. I let her send the message using my phone, holding her close as she did. I knew there would be more things to do, but they could wait until we got home. Tonight, I needed to hold her, make love if she was willing, and breathe her in.