Howl (Monster Boyfriends #1)

Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

RAEGAN

A s I’m walking back to my car, I hear the distinct sound of a wolf howling from within the camp. My first instinct is to run, but knowing that howl might be coming from Jamie sends my heart racing. The rational side of my brain is telling me to leave him be—Rhett was right, this isn’t the first time he’s shifted, so Jamie knows what he’s doing—but the irrational side wants to run straight into his arms.

He’s not in any danger, I try to tell myself.

But if that’s the case, why does it feel like my heart is trying to burst from my chest? It’s pounding with panic against my rib cage, and with every pump of muscle rushing blood to my ears, all I hear is, help him, help him. It follows my heart’s rhythm, and every second I ignore it, the warning only pumps harder.

We didn’t have much time to truly talk about everything, but from what little he described, it sounded as if he’s living his worst nightmare every month. Losing control of his mind must be terrifying, and it’s happening to him right now.

What if he needs me?

Perhaps if I just gave him the opportunity to see me, without getting too close, it would help calm him somehow. If I keep my distance, I’ll be okay.

Just a glimpse, and then I’ll go.

Any self-preservation skills I learned growing up fly out the window as I race back to camp just as the clouds above me break and rain starts to fall. As I pass the entrance, suddenly I realize I’m not just dealing with one werewolf. If I go any further, I could be facing an entire pack.

I feel the hairs on the back of my neck lift in alert as I skid to a halt. What once was spotty sprinkles falling from the sky is now turning into a steady drizzle. I search wildly around me for any hint of danger, but all is quiet save for the faint plops of water falling onto roofs. Then I hear the subtle shifting of gravel behind me. Keeping my back to whoever, or whatever, lingers behind me, I slowly turn my head to look over my shoulder.

Chin lowered and tail sticking straight back, a sandy colored wolf more than half my size is crouched behind me. Its legs are notched at the joints, its posture leaning forward slightly as if it’s getting ready to pounce, and I immediately stiffen.

Slowly, I turn my body fully to face the predator before me. It’s when I see the color of its eyes that I let out a gasp.

Warm brown, like thick honey.

“Jamie?”

The wolf cocks its head and snarls, teeth bared, and my stomach tightens nervously, but I hold my ground. I watch as it takes me in. I can’t be sure, but I think I see its eyes soften just slightly. Its tail lowers a few inches and it begins to pace back and forth in front of me, so I remain perfectly still, not wanting to scare it or trigger any reason to attack.

But then those honey-colored eyes meet mine, and every muscle in my body relaxes at once. I no longer feel frightened of the monster in front of me. I feel safe.

My right hand lifts of its own accord and reaches out, palm up, as an offering—a plea to let the creature know it too is safe with me. I feel myself kneeling to the earth, and an eternity moves around us as we stare into what feels like each other’s souls. I don’t know how to explain it, but I know Jamie is in there. No matter how deep, I can feel him reaching out for me. So when the wolf moves his two front paws and carefully steps into my reach, I hold my breath.

The dense fur on his muzzle grazes my palm, his breath hot against my skin. I’m shaking uncontrollably now, unable to contain my nerves. But he doesn’t hurt me. Instead, he presses his snout further into my hand and rubs his head against my inner arm.

“It is you, isn’t it?”

The wolf—Jamie—responds with a measured whine, and I let out a disbelieving chuckle. My head lowers when I feel tears of happiness brimming in my eyes, but Jamie moves to comfort me by resting the full weight of his head on my shoulder. I instinctively wrap my arms around his warm body and breathe in the scent of musk and freshly fallen rain. It’s coming down harder now, causing thick strands of my hair to stick to my face. I’m shivering from the cold and on the brink of majorly freaking out, yet I’ve never felt more at ease.

Suddenly, Jamie barks loudly and I have to pull back to cover my ear. “What’d you do that for?”

But he isn’t looking at me. His steady gaze is focused solely on the trees behind me. I turn to search for whatever has him concerned, but I can’t see anything beyond the haze of mist along the treeline. A deep vibration rises from the back of his throat—a warning growl to stay away. I wipe rain from my face as it starts to come down in sheets, and for a split second, I see the outline of several other wolves prowling the far end of camp. Jamie’s pack has come to get him, it's time for me to go.

Jamie moves in front of me, attempting to block me from their view, but a dark gray wolf steps out from the fog. From where I’m standing, this wolf looks slightly larger than Jamie. Both predators have their canines bared in warning, but the gray wolf almost looks like it’s smirking.

The gray wolf takes a taunting step forward, and Jamie lets out a short, guttural bark. I don’t know who the pack member is, but Jamie is not happy about them being here.

“It’s okay,” I tell him, placing a hand tentatively on his back. He cranes his neck to look at me from the corner of his eye, still keeping his body facing the threat ahead of him. “Go with them.”

The gray wolf finally turns away, knowing Jamie won’t leave my side. Jamie sits back on his hind legs as I get to my feet. He whimpers and paws at my leg, leaving a smear of dirt on my jeans.

“I’ll be waiting for you,” I say.

I watch as he gives me one last look, and then bounds off to catch up with the rest of the pack. As I watch him leave, a laugh bubbles out of me. I’ve lived among werewolves my whole life, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen one in their wolf form. They’re so majestic and powerful, seeing them up close only makes me want to learn more about them. I can’t wait to pick Jamie’s brain about everything when he gets back.

I feel a lump form in my throat at the thought of being separated from him until tomorrow, but I no longer have any doubt that he’ll come home the first moment he’s able. When he does, I’ll be waiting.