Hung By the Fire (Evergreen Lake: Under the Mistletoe)

Chapter 7

seven

COLE

Thursday morning, before the sun was even an inkling in the sky, I glanced down at Joy, still in her PJs and lying blissfully quiet in her crib. Mrs. M had been on to something, because although Joy gummed the hell out of everything she got her hands on, she was a one hundred percent happier baby. It wasn’t anything I should be proud of considering I didn’t have anything to do with solving the problem, still I was.

Which hit me right in the gut.

“Your mama and daddy should be soothing you, baby girl. Not some oaf of an honorary uncle,” I spoke the words while bending over, lifting her up, and placing her against my chest. She settled in with what, if I didn’t know better, was almost a giggle. “Yeah, you think I’m an oaf too, don’t you?”

She looked up at me with huge blue eyes, the same deep color as her mother, and grinned. “You really are too cute for your own good.” I’d had the same thought even as I had watched her in the hospital nursery, standing shoulder to shoulder with a beaming Brian. His words haunted me. “Can you believe it, Cole? Me, a dad to such a beautiful baby. She’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I should never have gotten this lucky.”

His luck didn’t hold out for long though, seeing as a mere few months later both he and Tricia were gone and they’d never get to be with Joy again. “Your luck’s not that good either, baby girl, considering who you got stuck with.” My best friends would have made amazing parents. Me, not so much. “Though, I have to say, you’ve got pretty good luck today.”

All because she’d been spending the day with my whiskey girl.

Not mine.

A knock sounded on the back door just as I was entering the kitchen. “Speaking of the temptress.” Through the window, I watched Bethany stare out into the distant trees. Her overnight bag slung over one shoulder, coffee tumbler clutched between her gloved hands, and wrapped up tight in a white winter coat as the temperatures still held the overnight cold. Her hair fell in waves down her back from under a bright pink hat and reminded me of how it looked against the white sheets of her motel bed a few nights ago. I’d had a hard enough time putting our night together behind us when I thought it would be a one-time thing. Ever since seeing my whiskey girl again, having her in my home, every second had replayed over and over in my mind.

Again, jackass. Not. Mine.

As soon as I cracked open the door, she spun to greet us, and I was once again leveled by how pretty she was. Her bright green eyes would match the forest leaves come springtime. For a second, I believed I could get lost in her eyes as easily as I could get lost in the beauty of nature.

Get lost, kid. Your mom and I don’t want you around now.

There was only one kind of “getting lost” I was used to, and it wasn’t revolving around losing myself in a woman. The other was much more my specialty.

Still, I couldn’t help the grin kicking up my lips as I watched her take me and Joy in. “Morning, whiskey girl.” The words came out a bit deeper than I intended. A slight shiver shook Bethany’s frame, and I hoped it was me and not the cold wind that caused it.

“Morning,” she whispered as I stepped back enough for her to slide past and into the kitchen. Glancing at Joy in my arms, she leaned forward and spoke in the gentlest voice. “Morning to you too, cupcake.”

She dropped the bag on the floor next to the table as I closed the door behind her. I turned to find her sliding the coat off her shoulders and had to quickly rein myself in at the sight of her in black leggings and a fuzzy pink sweater. They molded to her body the way my hands itched to.

Get it together, asshole.

I cleared my throat, trying to give myself a second to pull it together. Easier said than done around her. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? I mean, I guess I don’t have much choice for today since I can’t bail on my team.” I huffed out a defeated breath. “But if you change your mind, I’ll talk to brass and see what I can do about extending my leave.” I knew my options were limited, and I really did need to get back to work, but that didn’t mean I liked being a charity case. Hell, I wasn’t even big on asking for help in the first place for anything, but it felt as if I’d been doing a lot more since I’d brought Joy home.

Bethany walked over, plucking the baby right out of my arms. Joy went willingly, settling against Bethany’s chest and curling her hands under her chin. It should amaze me at how quickly Joy felt comfortable with her. Um, I’m pretty sure you felt comfortable with her too. My inner voice had made more of an appearance in the past few days than in the previous thirty-three years of life.

“I am fine and more than okay. Joy and I are going to have a perfect day, and you won’t have to worry at all.”

“I don’t know about that. Seems like all I do lately is worry.” I moved to the counter to pour coffee into a tumbler. “Please know, I’m not worried about you. Amazingly enough, the decision to leave Joy with you is actually the only one I’ve made recently that I’m confident about. Everything else having to do with this little one falls firmly into the ‘hope for the best’ category.”

“From what I’ve seen, your best is pretty damn good.” Bethany and Mrs. M had spent some of the past few evenings over here, allowing Joy to get used to her. I think she was letting me get used to the idea of her being around more too. I don’t know if it accomplished what she had hoped for since my physical discomfort more than increased. Those hours every night had left me hard and aching after she’d walked out the door. Not that I let on. For one, her aunt/my neighbor was sitting right there with us. For another, she agreed to babysit, not be lusted after by the person paying her.

Still didn’t stop me from taking matters into my own hands in the shower afterward.

“Looks can be deceiving.” I had no idea what I was doing with Joy, and no matter how much Bethany or Mrs. M tried to tell me different, I knew their words to be false. I didn’t have the background to even begin to know how to take care of someone, let alone a baby wholly dependent on me.

I could only hope that others I brought into her life would give Joy all that I couldn’t.

She settled Joy into her bouncy seat, giving her a teething ring, and then moved to stand next to me.

“Not this time they aren’t.” We both stared at Joy, happily gnawing away on the ring. “All three of us are going to be fine.”

I expelled a deep sigh. “Well, you guys are at least.” After taking a sip of coffee, I pushed away from the counter, unable to be this close to her without touching her in some way. I had no idea what to do with this need, so like most things, I pushed it to the back and took myself away from her nearness. “I don’t want you to be without a car in case something happens, but I only have the one car seat. After today, I can probably hitch a ride with one of the team, but…”

“Say no more. I can drive you over if you want or you can take my car.” She cringed, before adding on, “I’ll just have to go back. I left my keys there so Aunt Nadine can move it to get to hers.”

“No need. I’ll take you up on the offer of the ride.” I moved to Joy, plucking her out of the seat, her hand a death grip around that ring. “I’ll get her ready and then we can head out.”

As I began striding down the hall, I felt Bethany’s eyes on me. Catching her eye as I turned into Joy’s room, I noticed the faint darkening of her cheeks. One of the many things to capture me at The Reindeer Hole.

Day by day the list of things kept getting longer. It should worry me.

It worried me more that none of it did.

Less than ten minutes later, Bethany sat behind the wheel of my truck, and I had to bite back a laugh. The damn thing dwarfed her.

“You sure you’re okay with this? I can move the car seat next time. You know they train us to put those suckers in properly, so I’m pretty good at it.”

She chuckled, which prompted a copycat chuckle out of the smallest occupant of the vehicle. “I know. My stepbrother’s a firefighter, and we always tease his team about being experts at car seats when none of them are experts at babies.”

“Yeah, I get that. I’m not an expert on babies either.” For probably the fifteenth time in the three minutes we’ve been in the car, I looked back at Joy. “But seriously. I can move it. I know this is big. Are you sure you’re okay handling it?”

Gliding to a stop at the red light, Bethany looked over. “It’s okay, I’m fine handling big things.”

“Oh, I remember, whiskey girl. I remember.” I was a man after all, not a saint, and this woman could easily tempt both.

“Cole!” She hissed at me, glancing in the rearview mirror as if Joy could understand my words. “That’s not what I meant.”

There went that pink again, crawling up her cheeks. Considering she was all bundled up, which was a damn shame in my opinion, I couldn’t tell if color infused her neck too.

Or maybe further.

Would those perfect tits of hers hold the faint pink like her cheeks? I fisted my hands to keep myself from trying to find out.

What the hell was it about this woman that had me so rattled? So thoroughly captivated when I was normally anything but.

“Whatever you say.”

“You can’t call me that around Aunt Nadine, either.” When the light turned green, she moved through the intersection. “Then we’d have to explain about the other night.”

When they’d been over this week, I’d caught myself almost slipping and saying the nickname I’d given her. Each time she noticed, and each time I saw heat flare in her eyes. We may be putting this behind us, acting like it never happened, but it was so fucking hard to do. Every single time I looked at her, I remembered it all.

I didn’t want her to regret it or worry about me giving us away.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure I don’t.” My rarely seen gentlemanly side slipped out as I uttered, “I’ll stop using it.”

“No, um, I mean yeah, you could…I guess.” Watching Bethany fumble was adorable. Adorable? What the ever-loving hell? “That would probably be best, but I mean…um. If you don’t want to stop, um…”

We’d pulled up in front of the firehouse, but I was enjoying myself too much to be in a hurry to leave. Unlatching my seatbelt, I leaned across the seat, invading her space the slightest amount. The car’s heater had nothing to do with the soaring temperature. “If you like it so much, whiskey girl, I’ll keep using it.” I licked my lower lip and watched her eyes as they tracked the movement. “But I’ll keep it for when we’re alone. Would you like that?”

The thought of being alone with her, like we were the other night, ripped through my consciousness. We wouldn’t ever be again, but a man could dream, couldn’t he?

She nodded her response, snagging her lip between her teeth. It took everything in my power to not replace that nip with one of my own.

Luckily, tapping on her window saved me from doing something I’d regret, even as I enjoyed every second of it. My teammate, Blake Martins, stood there, his eyes wide and questioning. Dammit, not what I needed at all.

Bethany moved so quick it was all I could do to put a hand behind her head before she cracked it against said window. “Oh my God. What just happened? We can’t. We agreed.”

“Don’t worry. Nothing happened.” I didn’t like seeing her so scared or worried or whatever emotion played across her face. I needed to keep my attraction to her in check. It was what we’d agreed on and obviously what she wanted. I scooted back to my side of the truck and grabbed the door handle. I needed to get us back on proper footing. The best way to do that was to push forward and ignore it. “Don’t forget, call or text if there’s any issue. Or if you realize it’s too much.”

I opened the door, stepped out and shut it before opening the back door where Joy sat all buckled in, happily sticking her fist in her mouth. I smoothed my hand over her hooded head and felt a twinge of nervousness go through me. This is the first time I’d been away from her for more than a few hours since I brought her home. Would she think I was leaving her like her parents had left her? Would she even realize when I’m gone? Does she know she won’t ever see her mama and daddy again? Does she care if I leave? “I hope she’s good for you. Joy, be good for Ms. Bethany, okay.” She reached out her little hand, saliva coating it, and grabbed on to my finger. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Joy moved her hand up and down before abandoning my finger, for her mouth again.

“Don’t worry, Cole, we’ll be fine.”

Bethany’s smile told me she thought I was worried. I was more nervous than I’d thought I’d be leaving Joy for the day, and I didn’t really know what to do with that emotion.

Leaning over, I brushed my lips over Joy’s forehead. “Of course you will. I trust you.” The words were the truth, and when I looked into Bethany’s eyes, I could tell she knew it.

Before I could say more, I closed the door and waved as they pulled away.

“Sooooooo…”

Teammates could be real shits sometimes. They’d give you just enough rope to hang yourself out to dry with information, but I rarely, if ever, joined in or gave them anything back. Stepping up onto the curb, I proceeded into the station, Blake hot on my heels.

“What? You’re not going to say anything?”

“Say anything about what, Martins?” Another teammate, Will Willams, rounded the corner, followed by the rest of our six-member crew. “Damn, buddy, it’s good to have you back.” He slapped me on the back and dragged me into a one-armed bro hug. “Darlene’s still so upset she couldn’t help you.”

I chuckled. “Tell her not to be. It’s not like it was avoidable. Hope her mom’s doing okay.”

Martins snickered. “I think he made out okay, Williams, ‘cause there was some serious hottie dropping him off a minute ago. She drove off with the kiddo in his truck.”

“Hey.” Blake was one of the bigger ladies’ men you could find in Evergreen Lake, and I had no intention of letting him talk like that about Bethany. No matter that every part of my being agreed with his assessment. Nor was I letting him anywhere near her. “She’s Mrs. M’s niece and has agreed to watch Joy for me.”

That’s all it was. All it was going to be.

“Whatever you say, but those windows were starting to fog up, and I don’t think Joy gives off that much heat.”

Captain Jasper strolled in. The man was in his early sixties and acted as if every single man and woman under him were his kids. Considering I never had a father worth speaking about, it was a different feeling. “Don’t go there, Martins.” He gave Blake a look that stopped any further comment. “Let’s welcome Brawner back.” A chorus of greetings came from my teammates before the captain chimed back in. “Now, who’s got breakfast?”

With that, I settled back into a routine I’d had for years. I’d missed the place over the past few months, choosing to stay away as I tried to figure out what to do with a baby. The crew had stopped by a few times to say hi and meet Joy, but everyone had lives that didn’t revolve around me and an infant. Will and Darlene had dropped off more of their baby stuff than I could even imagine needing; although, they assured me I would at some point. Still, in this moment, the laughter of the team around the kitchen table, the incessant teasing, and the sense of peace this place dropped over me, I realized maybe I’d settled in a little more here than I thought.

Maybe Evergreen Lake had become my home.