Hung By the Fire (Evergreen Lake: Under the Mistletoe)

Chapter 13

thirteen

COLE

Five minutes later, we were both buckled in, and I’d started the drive to the tree farm. “Did your aunt just essentially kick us out of her house?”

Bethany nodded. “She most certainly did. I also think she may have, um, how to put this, given us some permission to do anything we wish today, shall I say.”

“I think you’re right.” I glanced her way before turning back to the road. “So, want to do any of those things instead?”

A pure laugh rang out through the cab of my truck. I don’t think the inside of this vehicle had ever even heard a laugh until now, with the exception of Joy’s infectious giggles. It made me wonder what all I’d been missing through the years. Things I’d never even considered wanting before a dark-haired whiskey girl grabbed my attention. Before an adorable bundle was placed into my arms and I was told she was mine now.

“Are we really going there?” Bethany turned slightly in her seat, pulling her left knee up and tucking the leg under her right thigh. “I mean, after yesterday…”

Her words drifted off.

“Yeah, yesterday.” Our time in the hallway had been on repeat in my mind since I’d walked out the door. All shift, nothing I was doing stopped the memory. The taste of her lips and skin, the feel of her coming apart under my hands. It took everything I had to push it out of my mind when we bunked down. I did not need to be the guy to get caught with my dick out at work.

“We agreed to one time.”

“We did.”

“Yesterday was a second time.”

Not in the truest sense of the word, but spot on for all intents and purposes.

“It was.”

Bethany looked at me and then out the window before turning back my way. “What if one of us wants more?”

Hell yeah. My dick had the answer to that one, but as a grown-ass man, I was not letting it run the show.

Not to mention, I couldn’t resist teasing her a bit.

“Is that your way of saying you do?”

“Um, excuse me,” she complained and pointed my way, “if I’m not mistaken, you’re the one who made the first move yesterday.”

Pulling up to a red light, I let my gaze find her before speaking. “You have a faulty memory, whiskey girl. You definitely made the first move. Grabbing my head and dragging my lips down to that greedy mouth of yours.”

“That was only because you were standing there in nothing but a towel, doing all that dirty talk, getting me all revved up. See, all your fault.”

This time it was my turn to laugh, the sound even unfamiliar to my own ears. “Is that your story?”

“Yup.” She nodded and grinned, her mouth tempting me all over again. “And I’m sticking to it.”

“Well then.” I dropped my voice and watched as her eyes grew wide. “If that’s the case I’ll have to tell you what you do to my cock more often.” Her eyes dropped to my lap, to the fucker trying to bust its way out of my jeans. I licked my lips at the thoughts playing in my head. “Feel free to tell me what thoughts of me do to your pretty little pussy any time you want.”

Bethany’s deep panting breaths filled the confined space. The heat coming from the vents had nothing on what we were producing. “How do you know you’re the cause?”

“First of all, whiskey girl, you already admitted you like my dirty talk. Second, I’ve felt you, felt what I do to you. Felt you clamp down tight around me.” A honking from behind me had me stepping down on the gas and powering through the intersection. “I know.”

“Ugh.” She thew herself back against the seat, head back and eyes closed. “What the hell is this?”

I wasn’t sure if the question was rhetorical or not, but either way, I didn’t think I had an actual answer for her. Whatever chemistry arced between us was nothing I had ever experienced in my life. In fact, it had been nothing I ever wanted to experience. This need, this overwhelming want. It wasn’t for me.

Until my whiskey girl.

Now I couldn’t even think of not having it.

I may not be able to tell her what it was, but I could give her a suggestion on what we do.

“Maybe we admit one night wasn’t enough. You’re only here for a while to help Mrs. M,” I bit the words out, not liking the way they tasted in my mouth. Not liking the thought of her heading back to California at some point, but I shoved it down. “We obviously suck at staying away from each other, so maybe while you’re here we give in. It’s not something forever anyway. I told you at The Reindeer Hole that I don’t do that and nothing’s changed.”

Except everything felt like it changed.

I just couldn’t let her know that because if truth be told, I had no idea what to do with it.

“So what? We sleep together a few more times.” She bit her lower lip, and I had to bite back a groan. The things this woman did to me without even realizing it should be illegal.

“Well, I was thinking more than a few, but whatever you want.”

I wanted time with her more than I was comfortable with, but I wouldn’t push. I knew what I was capable of giving her: orgasms and some fun between the sheets, or wherever else she wanted it, and not much else. From the start, I pegged her for a forever type of girl. It was why her suggestion a week ago had hit me so hard. A one-nighter wasn’t her normal, while it had been mine for my entire life.

How could it only be a week?

“Let’s see how today goes. Maybe we’ll get on each other’s nerves pretty quick without Joy as a buffer.”

She smiled my way. I wanted to tell her she was wrong, but the words stayed buried. I had to remember I only had so much to give.

“That works, whiskey girl. That works.”

“So,” Bethany spoke after several minutes of silence as we made our way through a maze of Christmas trees. It was remarkably empty for only a few weeks before Christmas, but then again it was a Monday afternoon. Most people didn’t have a schedule like mine. I was glad for it though. Peace and quiet and the two of us going on a search for something I hadn’t seen myself getting, but if I was going to get my first tree in forever and Joy’s first one ever, it was going to be perfect. “Would you tell me a little about Joy’s parents?”

Stumbling over nothing, I would have fallen if not for the fact Bethany’s fingers were wrapped around mine. Almost by silent agreement, I’d reached for her hand after getting out of the car and she willingly placed hers in my palm. We’d walked like that as we searched and wandered, listening to the Christmas carols playing over loudspeakers set up among the trees.

Her question cut me to the quick. Talking about Brian and Tricia wasn’t something I did. Of course, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to before Bethany came along. I’d given the bare-bones details of what happened to them to Mrs. M, Will and Darlene, and my team, but anything more was for me. For my memories.

So why did I want to tell her?

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want. I just thought you may want to talk.”

Oddly enough, I did.

“I met Brian when I enlisted. We’d both had shit childhoods and wound up at the same recruiter at eighteen. It was about my only option at the time. Same with him.”

“What did your family think about you joining up?”

A harsh chuckle escaped my throat. “What family?” Bethany’s eyes widened. I’d heard enough about her sisters during the time we’ve spent together and obviously knew her aunt, but didn’t know much else about her life before she’d wandered into Evergreen Lake. “I mean, technically I had parents, but my father never had any use for me and mom checked out in order to deal with his drinking.” I hated talking about my past, though it existed in my head all too freely lately, but I wanted Bethany to know. To understand even a little part of who I was. “I can’t count how many times I was told I was worthless. That I hadn’t earned my keep, which at six was pretty damn hard to do.” I hated the tears welling up in her pretty eyes, but she deserved to know who she was thinking about letting into her bed even if it was temporary. “I pretty much raised myself since I was a kid and then escaped for good at sixteen.”

She gasped and I hated the thought of her pitying me. I didn’t want it from anyone, least of all her.

“Don’t.” I stopped and looked down at her. A tear had escaped onto her cheek, and I used my gloved thumb to wipe it away. “It was actually better. Not great, but better. I wasn’t wanted there.” I conned a guy at the tattoo parlor near our house to give me my first ink the day I left in return for cleaning up the place for him. The words “finally free” weren’t large or the most noticeable on my body, but at that time they were the most meaningful. “I don’t think they cared that I left.” My parents hadn’t come looking for me, not even when they saw me sweeping up in the shop as they passed by. If that didn’t say how little I was wanted, nothing did, but she didn’t need to know that.

“But they were your parents. They should have taken care of you.”

“Not everyone gets good ones, whiskey girl. I didn’t. Neither did Brian or Tricia.” It was something the three of us bonded over. Looking back now, maybe we became our own little family. A frown tugged at her lips, and it killed me. I leaned closer, brushing my mouth against hers, the touch brief but refreshing in its innocence. “I’m glad you had good ones.”

“The best,” she sighed wistfully.

We started walking again, glancing at and rejecting tree after tree, in silence. She didn’t pressure me, even though I’m sure she wanted me to keep going.

“It was a tough few years, not gonna lie. Lots of time on couches and other places, but I’ll spare you the details.” She didn’t need to know about my nights spent trying to sleep on the streets or in a shelter, always with one eye open. Only Brian knew how I survived that time, mainly because he’d survived in almost the same way. “When I could, I did what any kid without the means of a future did, I signed up.” That wasn’t really true. By the time I hit eighteen I’d been hanging with some rough crowds, but never once did I step a foot out of line. I didn’t want to end up where I saw most of them heading. I may have had a crap past, but I did not want a crappy future. “Brian and I walked through the door of the recruiter’s office within minutes of each other. When I overheard him saying he didn’t have family to talk to about making the decision, I felt a connection. We walked out with paperwork in hand and wandered over to a diner to fill it out, before strolling right back in together.” I could remember it like it was yesterday. I’d connected with him almost from the first, even though we never talked about our backgrounds until so much later, when the stress of boot camp and deployment got to be too much.

I never even considered I would feel that connection with another person. I barely knew what a connection looked like, felt like.

Now I knew.

I looked at the woman holding my hand and assessing the nearby tree and wondered how that same feeling had sneaked up on me again.

She shook her head at the tree and tugged me forward.

My words came out on a chuckle, “Who exactly is this tree for? My house or yours?”

“My aunt already has one, and Joy wouldn’t like that one.”

“How do you know what an almost five-month-old likes? I mean, she likes putting her fist in her mouth, trying to put her foot in there too, and possibly the fruit baby food I gave her this morning. It was hit or miss whether she smiled or spat it back up.” It had been sort of cute. Joy’s face screwed up and spit out the mush, but then on the next go she smacked her lips together in glee. I even snapped a picture and sent it to Bethany, like she’d been doing when she watched Joy. I saved every single one. Looking at them helped the days away from them go by a little easier. When I found myself lingering too long over one of both of them, I pushed away the ache it caused and focused on ones of Joy. She always looked so happy, so at peace.

It still stabbed me in the heart that her parents weren’t seeing any of it.

“I know,” she emphasized and stopped in front another one before discarding that too. “So that was the moment you became best friends?”

Just like that, I was yanked back to the past.

“Pretty much. We were inseparable during boot camp and even though we specialized in different things, we got assigned to the same base after.”

“How did he meet Joy’s mom?”

“She worked on base. We walked into an office to get some paperwork filled out before our deployment and she was sitting there at the receptionist desk. He acted like a damn fool.” I relayed how I had to explain everything to the cute blonde sitting there since my best friend had all of a sudden gone mute. “The minute the door closed behind us, he said, and I quote, ‘That’s my future wife,’ while I looked at him as if he lost his ever-loving mind.”

Bethany laughed out loud, causing some nearby birds to take flight. “He didn’t even speak to her.”

“The jackass didn’t speak when we had to go back in there two days later either. I think it may have been a week before he could utter a syllable, but somehow it worked for Tricia.” She’d practically leapt out of her desk chair when Brian finally got the balls up to ask her out. “They were serious before we left, got engaged over FaceTime while we were overseas, and married almost before he got off the damn plane when we got back stateside.”

I chuckled at the memory. Tricia running across the field, leaping into his arms as everyone around us laughed. He was the only one in our small group to have a serious relationship. I found some girl to take home for the night and woke to a call to put on clothes and be ready because they were heading to the courthouse.

“Bri stayed in longer than I did. He re-enlisted. He loved it and was damn good at what he did, even if it took him away from Tricia at times. The Army didn’t want to lose that talent.”

“How come you didn’t stay in?”

“I did two tours, but after that I was done. Being on the razor’s edge of death every day started to lose the appeal.” I didn’t tell her part of the reason I joined was for that very thrill, very rush. At eighteen and tired of trying to get by, I didn’t care what happened to me over there.

At some point, that death wish wore off and I knew it was time to get out.

“I hate to break it to you, Cole, but you’re still in a dangerous job. I know. I’ve sprinted to the hospital more than a few times for my stepbrother.”

We turned down another row, the search for the perfect tree ongoing. Though the day couldn’t have been more perfect. Perfect weather, perfect companion.

“It’s a more controlled danger. The team is top notch, and I trust them with my life. I trusted my team in the Army too. What I didn’t trust was the enemy.” There was never a way to know what they were up to, and after years of dealing with it, I finally couldn’t deal any more. “I had done some fire training while still in, then went through more at the station on the base when I left. Got a job in southern Utah at a station and then moved up here when I saw an opening.”

“Why Evergreen Lake?”

Stopping in front of another copse of trees, I let Bethany do her thing, evaluating each one before discarding every single one.

“Brian, Tricia, and I came up here skiing once.” I always found it weird how I’d been drawn to the small town. I was born and raised near a city, and for someone who wanted to be left alone most of the time, a city was the way to go. Evergreen Lake was the exact opposite. Everyone tended to be in your business. Still, something about the place drew me in. “I saw a job posting and threw my hat in the ring.”

“Yeah, there’s something about this place.” I thought I heard a hint of nostalgia, but I couldn’t be sure. Even with me pouring out my story, I knew very little about Bethany.

A hell of a lot less than I actually wanted to know.

I wanted it all. Her good and her bad, and if that didn’t scare the shit out of me, I don’t know what did.

Bethany pointed at the tree directly in front of us. “This one.” Much taller than me, it had to be at least seven and a half feet and was full. No skinny tree for my whiskey girl.

“How’d you know?”

She pointed at the cardinal I hadn’t noticed, perched on one of the upper branches. The bird looked perfectly peaceful sitting there, staring down at us.

“The cardinal told you?”

Bethany nodded, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. The urge to slay whatever made her sad rode me hard, even if it was myself and my story. I’d do away with my past, never mention it again if it would make her happy.

“Cardinals are often thought of as a reminder or sign of a loved one who passed.”

“They are?” I had never heard that before.

“That’s what the myths say. My mom told me once when I spotted one on the playground a few months after my dad died. She told me it was his spirit looking out for me and I clung to that for years.” A smile played at the corner of her lips. “One showed up on my balcony when I was trying to decide whether to come help my aunt and I knew it was my dad convincing me to come back to Evergreen Lake.” She turned to me and whispered, “It’s the perfect tree for you and Joy. Sometimes you just know the right one when you find it.”

In silence, we watched the bird sit on the branch. If the myth was more than a superstition to help people through hard times, was this Brian trying to tell me he was watching over me and Joy? I had noticed Joy stare at the birds before, so maybe her intuition was a hell of a lot better than mine.

Something eased in me at the thought of Brian and Tricia being close to Joy. As the bird flew off, I wondered what else he’d been trying to tell me. Were my best friends watching over me too?

I couldn’t dislodge the thought that I’d found more than the perfect tree.