I Knew You Were Trouble

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chicago, USA

At the Peninsula Hotel, I wake to a sharp hammering on my hotel room door.

‘Aidan McArthur!’ the familiar voice snaps at full volume.

I moan, and poke Aidan in bed next to me.

‘Shit, it’s Ziggy. I’m late again,’ Aidan grumbles, getting up and stumbling over his clothes, once again piled up on the floor.

He gets half-dressed in a matter of seconds. I get out of bed and throw on a T-shirt and a loose pair of pyjama bottoms.

‘Have a good day,’ I whisper and Aidan squeezes my hand.

When I open the door, Ziggy is standing there with a thunderous look on his face. ‘You are late,’ he snaps, looking past me towards Aidan, ‘and not for the first time this week.’

‘Sorry, Zig,’ Aidan mumbles, and walks out into the corridor.

Ziggy’s brows are drawn together. He glares at me. ‘I need him in his room, Lexi, not yours.’

I give him an apologetic look. And then they’re gone.

Before I crawl back underneath the covers, my toes clash with cold plastic. Leaning down, I pick up Aidan’s phone from the carpet, realising he’s left it behind. Going back to the corridor, I lean out, seeing if Aidan or Ziggy are still around. I’m met with silence.

I leave his handset by my bed and pull the covers up. Chicago is on-another-level cold. Since the concerts started again at Madison Square Garden back in New York, moving north to Boston before onward to the Windy City, the tour seems to have stepped up a notch. It seems like every radio station and every TV channel is trying to get an interview with Rebel Heart. Filming has kept us busy, whether it’s interviews with some of the tour support staff, the dance crew, Ziggy or Bodhi, or capturing more general footage of the boys performing and rehearsing.

The speculation around Bianca’s relationship with Cal has remained rife, taking the focus off the other members of Rebel Heart, for which I’m thankful, as is Ravi, who is still being careful about who sees him with Tun. That Bianca is still with us on the tour has sent a message that it’s not simply a PR stunt.

This afternoon will see my last interview with a band member: with Danny Miller. He’s done his best to avoid it.

I lie back against the headboard with a sigh. Aidan has spent as much time with me as he can. It feels odd our relationship being out in the open, where he kisses me in front of the other members of the band. This project has continuously surprised me at every turn, never turning out the way I think it will. I came into it with a negative attitude but the members of Rebel Heart have proved me wrong. And I actually like them.

I still worry about the moment that Vaughn Herrera discovers we’re in a relationship.

I’m wondering whether to get a shower when Aidan’s phone buzzes next to me. I glance right, just catching the notification of a photograph arriving. It’s a tiny thumbnail, but the sight of bunny ears makes the hairs on the back of my arms stand on end.

Picking up his handset, I hit the central button to illuminate the screen. It reads, 1 new message . Underneath, the name reads, Taylor .

I toss Aidan’s phone on top of the bed covers, as though it’s on fire. I tell myself it means nothing, that Aidan’s probably still in touch with lots of girls he’s known. He’s a friendly individual so it’s no wonder some of them still want to flirt with him.

A thought enters my mind. I know his code. His phone is protected by a pattern lock type, in the shape of a square ‘G’.

I draw the pretend shape with my thumb on the covers, knowing that to do so for real would cross a line. I put on the TV, watch a Chicago weather report in silence, then get out of the bed and pace across the carpet. The idea continues to gnaw at my stomach, as I remember the covert video Meredith captured of Aidan kissing Taylor at the party in Sydney. He’d seemed like a different person back then.

It wouldn’t be right to look. Yet it’s completely me. To look. To pry. It’s my job. It’s what I do.

Picking up Aidan’s iPhone, I tap one indecisive fingernail against the top corner of the cover. Moments later, an impulsive decision made, I switch it on and connect the dots with the ‘G’ shape, the phone granting me instant access. If I don’t open Taylor’s message, Aidan won’t know that I’ve looked at anything. Instead, I navigate to the photos app.

Instant regret surges through my veins, and my jaw goes slack.

The WhatsApp photos folder contains an array of images, along with a scattering of memes and screenshots. But my eye is caught immediately by pictures of Taylor Wetherill. Though there are only a few, they stand out like an alarm begging for my attention. I move my thumb and scroll between the handful of photos. She is in a state of undress, snapping shots of herself sprawled on a large bed and wearing scant, spicy underwear.

A sick feeling rolls around in my stomach.

I purse my lips, my heartbeat increasing in tempo. I want to see their exchanges. Has there been conversation? Is he asking her for pictures? Is my boyfriend sexting a gorgeous brunette Australian pop star?

I drop the phone, covering my face. I can’t unsee what I’ve seen, or what I’ve done. I get out of bed and pace in front of the window, looking out onto the Chicago skyline.

I may be in the wrong, but I still have the right to feel angry.

‘Shit,’ I curse out loud, running my fingers through my hair, knowing that the perfect little bubble we’ve been living in for the last few weeks has finally burst.

The images on Aidan’s phone mean I’m distracted by the time I sit down to interview Danny Miller. We’re in yet another hotel room, this one overlooking Lake Michigan on a clear day. Miller was late, Duncan now glowering at him from a distance whilst the baddest boy in Rebel Heart flirts up a storm with Meredith, who applies his make-up.

‘Can we just not bother to interview him? Just leave it out?’ Duncan suggests under his breath as I go through my notes.

‘Unfortunately, not,’ I respond, cringing on the inside as Meredith grins at whatever lame joke Miller has just told her. ‘Why don’t you take Mer for a coffee somewhere whilst I do this?’ I suggest. ‘Or just take her back to your hotel room, hmm ?’

Duncan wavers at my suggestion, frowning again at the scene on the other side of the room. ‘Don’t wanna rush things,’ he mutters.

‘You won’t, you’ll just prove that you’re serious about her.’

‘Aye, right. I’m no good at those conversations.’

‘You don’t have to talk,’ I whisper. ‘Just show her.’

Duncan blushes, but Meredith giggling under Miller’s gaze soon wipes any hope of a smile from his face. ‘Maybe I’ll go back alone,’ he grumbles. ‘I think you’re good to go.’

When I’m alone with Miller, I feel uneasy. Physically, Miller has a presence, a brooding appeal. He’s handsome in the way an American ‘jock’ might be, and he clearly works out more than the others. He has dark eyes and hair that sticks out in all directions but still manages to look styled.

He shifts in his chair. ‘So, Lex,’ he says, once I’ve asked him to introduce himself to the camera. ‘How does this shit work?’

‘Don’t you want to take your coat off? Are you cold?’

‘I’m perfect. I’ll keep it on.’

‘Fair enough,’ I murmur, ‘if that’s what you prefer.’

‘So, what, you ask me a bunch of questions?’

My mind is elsewhere, and I’ve not allowed enough preparation time. The pictures on Aidan’s phone linger in my psyche, as well as thoughts of my own wrongdoing. All of it weighing me down.

‘Yes. Questions. Why don’t we start with your childhood?’

He gives a loose shrug. ‘I grew up in Maryvale, on the west side of Phoenix, Arizona, with my dad and older brother. Dad wasn’t around that much. He died when I was twelve. My brother raised me mostly.’

‘Your mother left the family home, is that right?’

‘Sure, she fucked off and left us behind.’ He doesn’t flinch as he says it, though I recognise in him the same bitterness I’d felt as a child when my father walked out.

‘How old were you?’

‘Six.’

‘And where is your mother now?’

‘Damned if I know. You called me Danny the other day. The only person who ever called me Danny was my mom. After she left, I told people to call me Miller.’

‘What were you like as a child?’

‘A smartass. I’d pick fights with anyone. I could dance and fight better than anyone else I knew, but I wasn’t so hot with the books, you know. Got kicked outta school at fifteen.’

‘How old were you when you first auditioned for the reality show?’

‘Goin’ on seventeen.’

‘Did you have any formal dance training?’

‘My family mostly lived on handouts, Lex, what do you think?’

‘So, what were you doing for money at that time?’

‘Worked as a pizza delivery boy. Did that for a couple years, off and on. Prolly still be doing it now if I hadn’t got offered this gig.’

‘Were you surprised when you got the call to invite you to be in the band?’

‘I told the producer that called me it was a good thing they were righting their mistakes. I think later on she called me an ungrateful prick, but it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been called that either.’

‘You’re the band member who’s had the most paid endorsement deals, and you have the biggest social media following. Why do you think that is?’

‘Don’t the two go hand in hand? Guess I’m a popular guy. Those Ivy League dudes might laugh at me and think I’m dumb as shit, but they all wish they had a body like mine. Their girlfriends all wanna bang me and I’m every gay guy’s wet dream. You figure it out.’

I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

‘Who’s laughing at you, Miller?’

He shrugs. ‘You read enough comments online, you know. At least, I do. Prolly shouldn’t.’

‘You state your opinions very openly. Tell me, who’s the best dancer in Rebel Heart?’

‘I am.’

I cock my head to one side. ‘Then who?’

‘Ravi.’

‘Then who?’

‘Aidey. Then Cal, then J.B. since you’re asking.’

‘Who’s the best singer?’

‘Aidey. Then J.B. and Cal. If I had to pick the best all-rounder, it would be Cal. Or maybe Aidey. I’m sure you can find plenty of debates about it online. That’s just my opinion, which as you say, I’m always happy to provide.’

‘What about your singing voice?’

‘It’s gotten better. Guess there’s a reason I didn’t get picked first time out the gates.’

‘Do you feel like an outsider because of that? Because you were a replacement?’

He gives a little snort. ‘I thought I was opinionated. You going toe to toe today, Lexi, or what?’

I ignore him. ‘I didn’t give my opinion; I asked you a question.’

‘Nah, I don’t feel like an outsider. Those boys are like my brothers. They’re the only real friends I have.’

‘Have you ever been in a serious relationship, Miller? Ever had a steady girlfriend?’

Miller shifts in his chair. ‘When you’ve got your pick of any girl, on any given night, and they’re all stunning and throwing themselves at you… trust me, you don’t need a girlfriend. Not from where I’m standing.’

The last thing I know I would do is trust him .

‘What frightens you, Miller? Does intimacy frighten you?’

Miller laughs. ‘I’m never there long enough for intimacy to become a problem.’

I stop, rubbing my eyes. This isn’t going how I want it to. I reach out and stop the camera.

‘Miller, I’m stopping this. I… I don’t think I’ve prepared in the right way. Perhaps we could reschedule?’

His eyes rake over me. ‘S’up, Lexi? You fall out with Aidey or somethin’?’

‘That’s none of your business.’

‘Wanna come ride this bad boy instead?’

I look up. Miller has two hands framing his groin area.

‘No,’ I snap. ‘Yuck. Why would you even think that?’

‘Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had Aidey’s sloppy seconds. You do know he’s gonna get bored of you, right? Then where will you be, Lex? You think he’s still gonna want you on the tour once he’s lost interest? Next thing, you’re gonna tell me he loves you, right? Is that what he tells you when he’s screwing you?’

I get to my feet. ‘Miller. Please stop talking. I’m leaving.’

‘Oh, come on. We were just gettin’ warmed up.’

My eyes sting. I’m angry at myself for getting riled up; I want to go somewhere and cry. Hauling open the door, I stalk from the room, leaving Danny Miller to his own devices.

‘Bloody paparazzi,’ Aidan huffs as he comes through my hotel room door that evening. I press my back against the wardrobe. I’ve been for a walk along the banks of the lake in the icy cold, questioning why Taylor Wetherill is sending him naked pictures of herself.

‘Did I leave my phone in here this morning?’ he asks, spying it on the nightstand.

‘You did,’ I respond coolly. ‘What happened?’

‘J.B. took Audrey for an early dinner and the two were mobbed outside the restaurant. He’s raging about it. Audrey’s freaked out.’

He’s standing in the centre of my room, flicking through the contents of his phone. ‘How did it go with Miller today?’ he asks absent-mindedly.

‘He’s an arsehole.’

‘Well, that’s Miller. Did you get everything you needed?’

When I don’t answer, he looks up. ‘Are you alright?’ he adds.

I swallow and nod towards his handset. ‘Taylor Wetherill sent you a photo today.’

Aidan frowns. ‘Shit, not again.’

‘I… looked at your phone.’

His eyes come back up to mine, his brows drawn together. ‘You got into my phone?’

My voice is barely above a whisper. ‘I’ve seen the pattern you use. The G shape. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry.’ A turgid silence fills the room. I want to cry. ‘You seem to have some photos of Taylor in your phone.’

His eyes snap back up. ‘Not because I want to.’

My expression registers how odd I think this is.

‘Look,’ Aidan continues. On his phone, he navigates to his WhatsApp account, holding out the phone to me. He scrolls through the photos. ‘I don’t reply, see? I never asked for any of them. And she sent them before me and you became… what we are now. She saw an opportunity and took it, but I never entertained it. It was the same time I was falling for you, but I was never interested in her.’

A tiny sense of relief punctures me as he flashes his phone screen in my direction. I see the date highlighted clearly on the image metadata: it was sent the night before my birthday, yet she still sent another photo this morning and it doesn’t stop the feeling of betrayal still brewing inside. ‘Then why didn’t you set a boundary and say no? Do you like receiving seductive photos from a woman you slept with, one time in Sydney?’

He shakes his head vehemently, his shoulders dropping. ‘Of course not. I should have… I should have made it clear straight away to her.’ For a moment he pauses and rakes a hand through his hair. ‘I should have blocked her. I’m sorry.’

‘I accept that you didn’t reply. I’m happy that you didn’t. But did you not think it was more than a little inappropriate that you didn’t delete them?’

He looks to the floor and says nothing.

Tears sting my eyes. ‘Aidan, I accept your lifestyle. But just because you’re famous, it doesn’t give you a free pass to do things differently to any other normal guy. Strip away all the fame, you’re still my boyfriend, and we have to treat one another accordingly. That you had these on your phone while with me is humiliating.’

Aidan’s over to me within a second. He grasps my hands. ‘Lex, I’m so sorry,’ he breathes.

I search his face. It’s Miller’s voice that I hear. You do know he’s gonna get bored of you, right?

I see his tight swallow. ‘It meant nothing. I’m so stupid. I’m crazy about you, Lexi, you know I am. It was a stupid mistake.’

I keep my eyes on the carpet. Sadness envelops me. I want to forgive him but there’s a squall of emotion in my chest. What if Miller’s right? What if he loses interest and wants to keep others as another option? Am I just the latest girl in a long line of eager females, ready to throw themselves at him?

‘There’s a reason I pushed to keep things on a professional footing,’ I whisper.

He lowers his head, his breathing shallow. ‘Please, no, Lex, don’t go back to that. Don’t push me away.’

I don’t know what to say. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. What was I thinking? That I could fall for a member of a famous boy band and everything would be normal?

‘Lex,’ he says, his voice cracking. ‘Are we fighting or is this you breaking up with me?’

‘I… I need some time to think,’ I murmur.

Aidan hangs his head. He exhales shakily. Moments later, he’s left the room.