Ice Cold Duke (Frigid Dukes #2)

Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“ W hat?!” Henry whirled around on the path, and the look he sent Lucien was so alarmed and so shocked that Lucien almost felt bad for him. “You cannot command that of me! This is the woman I love! And it’s not as if anyone saw us together.”

“You love her, do you not?” Lucien snapped. “If you do, then you must agree the best thing for her is to be left alone so that she can find a gentleman who is worthy of her and will not dishonor her.”

“You are only doing this to punish me!” Henry cried. “Please, Lucien, don’t do this. This will only break her heart on top of everything else. I promise, I can go about this the right way. Let me speak to her father and court her officially; let me do this the romantic way she deserves.”

“No,” Lucien said flatly. “I cannot risk anyone seeing you together after today. It is better if all communication is cut off entirely.”

It is a better deal than I got, he wanted to add, but he restrained himself. At least I am not forcing you to marry someone you don’t even know.

“You are truly a villain,” Henry said, his eyes filling with tears. But Lucien was unmoved.

“I am not the villain in this story,” Lucien corrected. “Even now, she is probably terrified that you have ruined her forever and that she will never make a good marriage. If you stay away from her, then she will have a chance to do so.”

“She knows I intend to marry her,” Henry said hotly.

“I would be shocked if she still wanted you to propose. What kind of woman wants to marry a man who has so little respect for her? No, she will be relieved, and you will focus, from now on, on doing your duty to your family, and not on women. I know the pain of this feels intense now, but over time, it will fade, and in the end, you will be glad of my decision.”

“You cannot do this,” Henry whispered, and Lucien heard the desperation in his voice. “I am over one-and-twenty. I don’t need your permission to marry.”

“I would think very carefully before crossing me,” Lucien said coolly, his anger mounting once again. “I can make your life a living hell--no matter how far you try to run.”

Henry turned away and said nothing more for the rest of the way out of the maze. Lucien didn’t care. His brother really was nothing more than a spoiled, entitled child. He probably fancied himself in love with the girl, but he was too young and irresponsible to get married. He would get over her in time, and when he was older and finally ready to take a wife, he would be glad Henry had interfered.

But when they returned to where everyone was gathered, nothing seemed to be amiss. Leah was still talking to the other young ladies near the fountain as if she hadn’t even noticed they were gone, while the rest of the party were gathered in small groups, chatting and drinking lemonade and champagne. A few people glanced at Lucien and Henry as they reentered the group, but the glances appeared more perfunctory than intrigued.

Glancing around, Lucien spotted Emery and Miss Holloway standing nearby where Leah was, both holding lemonades. Emery was smiling and chatting to a lady next to her, and although her smile was a bit tight and her eyes kept darting over to Leah, Lucien thought she was doing a good job of acting as if everything were normal. Miss Holloway looked considerably less relaxed. She was holding very tightly to her lemonade and wore an expression of deep worry. Her brow was knit together and her face was very pale, and she even appeared to be shaking slightly.

I shouldn’t have said that she had been compromised in front of her. Lucien felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach about that. He’d only frightened the girl and made it harder for her to act natural. Still, she should be aware of the consequences of her actions.

He looked again at Emery. As if she could sense him watching her, she glanced at him, and their eyes met. Immediately, a wave of understanding passed between them. Leah is alright , her eyes seemed to say, their expression soft and wary. No one has said anything to make me think we have become embroiled in scandal.

Lucien felt a small amount of the tension in his shoulders lesson, but they were far from out of the woods. Nor did it change the fact that something could have happened. They may have gotten lucky this time, but next time, things might not go in their favor.

It was difficult to wait the requisite fifteen minutes, and Lucien felt anxious the whole time, unable to make conversation with any of the lords or ladies who tried to speak with him. At last, he decided enough time had gone by and he turned to Henry.

“Let’s go,” he said in an undertone. “Get your sister and meet me at the carriage.” He then paused. “On second thought, you go get the carriage, and I’ll collect Leah. I can’t trust you not to lose her.”

“You’re being very melodramatic,” Henry snapped, but Lucien gave him a look that was so cold and commanding that Henry shivered and then left at once to call for their carriage.

After collecting Leah and Emery, Lucien said his goodbyes to the O’Farrells and made his way quickly and efficiently to the carriage, which was waiting for them at the entrance to the O’Farrells’ house.

All the way back across London, Emery, Lucien, and Henry were silent. Leah, meanwhile, gabbed away happily about what a success the party had been and how many new acquaintances she had made. Lucien tried hard to smile and nod along to what she was saying, but it was difficult. The only good thing was that she seemed not to have noticed that anything at all had happened.

Once they arrived back at the townhouse, Leah went upstairs to bathe and change for dinner. Henry also slunk off to his room without giving Lucien another glance or saying another word.

“Make sure my brother doesn’t leave the house again tonight,” Lucien said in an undertone to the butler once Henry had made his way upstairs. “That’s an order.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

Lucien sighed and turned to head to his study and almost ran head-long into Emery, who was hovering behind him, looking anxious.

“May I have a word?” she asked, gazing up at him with big, round eyes.

“I suppose,” Lucien grunted. He didn’t really feel like speaking to anyone, least of all Emery, whom he knew would be able to see through all his defenses at once and discover the guilt and fury that was still storming inside of him. But he didn’t have the heart to refuse her, either.

She followed him to his study, then sat down opposite him at his desk.

“You don’t look relieved,” she said, tilting her head to one side as she took him in. “I thought you would be relieved.”

“What is there to be relieved about?” Lucien snapped, folding his hands on his desk. “We barely escaped scandal.”

“Yes, but we did escape it. Everything turned out well. When I returned to the garden party, Leah clearly hadn’t even noticed we were gone, and nothing ill had befallen her. Georgina and I were able to seamlessly melt back into the crowd, and I didn’t hear a single whisper of gossip about where we had gone or where you and Henry had gotten to.”

“That doesn’t mean there won't be gossip,” Lucien pointed out. “Perhaps they were whispering about it behind your back and just didn’t want you to hear.”

“That seems unlikely! Not after how much whispering they’ve already done about me this Season.”

Lucien grunted. He wanted to believe that they had successfully avoided a scandal, but he was also afraid to let himself hope like that. Nor did he very much feel like celebrating such a narrow escape.

“Everything is okay,” she said gently, reaching forward tentatively and setting her hand on top of his. “I know you’re angry at your brother still, but we should at least be grateful that nothing worse happened.”

“Everything is not okay,” Lucien snapped, unable to hold back his frustration. The touch of her hand on his only made it worse; she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand that it wasn’t just his brother he was angry at. “My brother abandoned Leah and then compromised your friend! He behaved reprehensibly! Unforgivably! Like the most selfish cad to ever exist!”

“Lucien…” Emery’s eyes had grown even wider. “You shouldn’t be so hard on him. I know Henry can be a bit foolish at times, but he only behaved the way he did out of love for Georgina. She promised me that nothing happened, that he truly only wanted to talk, and I believe her. He really does love her, and he wouldn’t have done anything dishonorable. He might be a tad thoughtless and reckless, but he isn’t a bad person. Surely you can’t fault him forever for a small lapse in judgement?”

“A small lapse in judgement?” Lucien couldn’t quite believe his ears. Of all the things his wife might say to him, this seemed the most ridiculous. She knew how he felt about people who shirked their duty and family in the name of love. And that is exactly what his brother had done!

It took every ounce of him not to stand and start yelling, but from the look on her face, she could tell that he was moments away from that. She had shrank back in her chair, a petrified look on her face, and it hurt him more than he could say to see the look of fear on her face.

“He is still a boy,” she whispered, before he could speak again. “He will learn!”

“I very much doubt that,” he replied coldly. “Anyway, how can you possibly forgive him for what he has done? He has threatened to ruin our family and your friend. You should be furious with him!”

“I am,” she said desperately. “But it is also done. What else is there to do? Holding on to anger will not change the situation.”

Slowly, he tried to take a deep breath and calm himself. When he spoke again, it was in a flat, cold tone of voice. “I do not think you realize what is at stake here,” he whispered. “Henry is the future Duke of Dredford! He is my heir, and he has behaved like a villain to both Miss Holloway and yourself! How can I entrust the duchy, and the future of my house, to such a man? How can I live with myself for letting him bring such dishonor to our family name?!”

“Then… don’t leave him the duchy.” She licked her lips, as if afraid to go on, then forced herself to continue speaking in a small, scared, yet determined tone of voice. “He does not need to be your heir. There is another opportunity for an heir, one that I thought we were working toward this past week. And this heir will be one that we mold together to become the best and most honorable duke imaginable.”

Lucien felt himself grow cold. He knew what she was saying: that after their kisses, and the budding romance between them, they might live as man and wife and have children of their own. And while this would have filled him with unimaginable joy just a few days earlier, it now made his heart feel as if it were cracking in two.

She wants to have a normal marriage with me. Because of how I have behaved this past week, she thinks I love her; perhaps she even loves me. And I am going to have to break her heart, before my actions ruin all of us.

The horror of the situation threatened to overwhelm him. She truly does not understand what has happened here today.

Lucien felt his face growing cold and expressionless; it was the way he had been for many years; the heartless, feeling-less wretch his brother had described him as. He wasn’t wrong about me in the end.

“No,” he heard himself say. “Henry is my heir and he will remain my heir.”

The look of utter disappointment and crushed hope was so immediate and so complete that Lucien felt as if he had just told his wife she was condemned to death. Perhaps he had done so, in his own way.

“Oh…” she whispered, and her eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t realize… It just seemed that things had begun to change between us, that you and I were…” But she couldn’t go on. Her voice had become choked, and she looked away, shame burning her cheeks.

Guilt swelled inside of Lucien, but he knew he couldn’t give in. He had to do this for the good of his family.

“That will not be possible,” Lucien forced himself to say, and the words cut like a knife through the air between them. She shrank back, and pain filled her eyes. “The feelings that have been growing between us, as well as the affection we have been demonstrating to one another, must desist at once, and we must return to the initial marriage we agreed upon: to be wed only on paper.”

“But--why?” Emery breathed. “What happened with your brother and Miss Holloway had nothing to do with us!”

“But it did,” Lucien said. “What happened was my fault. I was the one who lost vigilance. First, I let my brother chaperone Leah even though I knew he wasn’t trustworthy; even though I knew he wasn’t responsible. But I let him do it because I wanted to spend time with you in public. In other words, I listened to my heart above my head. And that was the first mistake. Then I snuck off with you and left Leah and Henry alone. I should have known that Henry wasn’t responsible enough to follow through on his word after everything he has done. But I left him alone, I told myself that it would be well, because I wanted to indulge my own desires over the duty I owed my family.”

“Lucien, this is madness!” His wife cried. “This isn’t your fault! You should have been able to rely on Henry. He is a grown man.”

“One minute he’s a boy and the next he’s a grown man? Which is it, Emery?”

“Stop trying to twist my words,” she said coolly. “My point is that if he let you down, that is his fault, not yours. All you were doing was what any married member of the ton should be able to do--have a moment alone with his wife. You cannot tell me that is such an awful thing!”

“But it is!” Lucien thundered. “It wasn’t what any married member of the ton would do! It was illicit! I took you to a place I knew was famous for its illicit liaisons because I knew you would like it; you who have been denied all the adventures that most young ladies get during their Seasons. I wanted to be the one to show you such a place and to kiss you in it. And so you see, I put my romantic notions above my family duty.”

“So you’re saying it’s my fault?” Emery asked, blinking slowly as she stared at him. “That because of me, and the feelings for me that you possessed, your brother nearly ruined our family?”

“Of course it’s not your fault,” Lucien said curtly. “I am the one who is responsible for my actions.”

“Well, what I’m hearing is that you blame me. Or at least, that you blame the feelings you had for me.”

“I blame myself!” Lucien shouted, his frustration getting the better of him. “I blame love! It clouds men’s judgements and makes them simpletons. And it nearly ruined everything I have worked so hard for these past thirteen years!”

“ Nothing happened !” All at once, Emery was on her feet, glaring at him furiously as she shouted. “Nothing bad happened and yet you are punishing me with this ridiculous idea that our feelings for one another are to blame!”

“Something could have happened!” Lucien shouted back. “You have no idea how close we were to complete and utter ruin!”

“Then we would have been ruined!” She waved a hand through the air, and he blinked, taken aback by the boldness of this statement. “But I personally would rather be ruined with you by my side than pretend to be the perfect family but be without you.”

Lucien took a deep breath, and for a moment, his resolution wavered. She looked so beautiful when she was passionate like this, her cheeks flushed, her eyes bright and intelligent, and her hair beginning to come down from her coiffure.

Maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s better to admit our feelings for each other and let love turn us into fools, even if it does ruin the family.

But every instinct he had spent the last thirteen years cultivating rebelled against the idea. He couldn’t let himself feel this love; he couldn’t let himself lose his sense of duty; he couldn’t fail now, when he was so close to fixing everything his parents had nearly ruined.

“I’m sorry, Emery,” he murmured, and his words felt like the final nail in the coffin. “But I cannot allow our marriage to be anything other than a contractual affair. I have sacrificed too much over the years and worked too hard to make my family respectable and prosperous again. I cannot give that up for anything.”

Emery stared at him for a long moment, breathing hard. There was a strange look in her eyes as she gazed at him, and when she spoke again, it was in a tone as if she had just realized something very important.

“You’re not worried about your family’s reputation or that you will do something to ruin them if you let yourself love me,” she said slowly and deliberately. “You’re just afraid.”

“What are you talking about?” he spat, as a strange sensation seized him; like someone had reached inside his chest and grabbed his heart. “I am the Duke of Dredford! There is nothing I’m afraid of.”

“Oh, but there is,” she murmured. “You’re afraid of letting yourself love me. Because if you do--if you really let me in--then there is a chance that I will reject you. You’ve spent so many years insulating yourself from any feelings, that now you’re terrified of what might happen if you let anyone in.”

“That isn’t--you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lucien blustered, but he had a terrible feeling that Emery might be exactly right.

She straightened up and stared down at him with a cold, removed look that chilled him to the bone. “Maybe not. But either way, it isn’t what I want. I have always yearned for love, Lucien; true love. Maybe it doesn’t exist, or maybe it’s the kind of love that has always existed in books, but for a moment, I thought you and I might actually have it. But I need someone who is brave enough to see that love when it happens and to seize it. Because it is scary, and it’s hard, and it’s worth fighting for. If you don’t want to fight for our love, then I will be better off being your wife only in name.”

Lucien’s throat was so tight he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to speak. Instead, he nodded, and Emery’s jaw began to twitch. However, she held it together a little longer.

“Very well,” she murmured. “Then I will speak to the butler about finding me a different room in which to sleep. On the opposite side of the house. And when this Season is over, I will be moving into a different house right away.”

“Good,” Lucien said, unsticking his throat. “I think that is best for all of us.”

Emery gave him one last, long look, and then turned and left the studio. Lucien did nothing to stop her. He simply let her walk away and out of his life.

She is right , he told himself as the door slammed shut. She deserves someone strong enough for her.