Ice Cold Duke (Frigid Dukes #2)

Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

“ H e did what? Because of what happened with Henry?” Georgina stared at Emery with a mixture of horror and guilt as she sat across from her in the drawing room of her father’s house. It had been a day since Emery had spoken to the duke and he’d ended the romance in their marriage, and Emery had needed to talk to her friend. Although she knew Lucien would probably be furious if he knew where she was, she hadn’t cared. This was an emergency.

“Yes,” she said heavily, reaching for the cakes that were sitting between them on a small tray and selecting the richest and most decadent-looking. “And now it feels as if it never even happened. It was just a week, Georgina! A week of him making me feel as if I was the most wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, and interesting person in the world. And now it’s all over, and I feel as if I dreamt it.”

“You didn’t dream it,” Georgina said, reaching across the table and laying a hand on Emery’s knee. “It was real. And I know he still feels those things for you.”

“What does it matter if he will not act on them?” Emery asked dully. “It is the same as if he doesn’t feel them at all.”

“That isn’t true,” Georgina insisted. “You could still get him to change his mind!”

“And why should I?” Emery lowered the cake and stared, disbelievingly, at her friend. “This man has done nothing but ruin my life! First he forces me to marry him. Then he makes me think that we are falling in love. And then, because of a stupid mistake his brother made, he pulls out the rug from underneath me and takes away my dream of love!”

Georgina shifted uncomfortably on the couch across from her. “I am deeply sorry about that,” she said, lowering her eyes. “It is as much my fault as it is Henry’s. I can’t even tell you what came over me. I just saw him there, and I wanted so badly to be alone with him, and then he was ushering me away, and I was powerless to resist.”

“Well, you should have resisted,” Emery said crossly. She could understand where her friend was coming from, and unlike Lucien she would eventually forgive her, but it didn’t stop her from being angry. “It was a very foolish thing to do. You easily could have been caught, and if you had been, you would have been ruined. It’s probably a good thing, for you at least, that Lucien caught you when he did and sent you back to the party.”

“I know,” Georgina said, and she swallowed, as if trying to repress a sob. “It was the most foolish thing I’ve ever done. And I will never forgive myself for it if it is the reason your husband decided he cannot be with you in a romantic and loving way.”

“That’s not the reason,” Emery said, waving a hand dismissively. “He is just using it as pretext because he is afraid of getting close to me. And I do truly believe he’s afraid of letting his feelings overtake him to the point where he is not thinking about his duty. But that fear has been in him for a long time, and it would have resurfaced eventually. Finding you and Henry brought it to the forefront a bit sooner, but one way or another, I would have lost him.” She sighed and stared out the window. It was raining and gray outside; weather as depressing as she felt. “One way or another, he would have shown me he isn’t strong enough.”

“I’m very sorry,” Georgina murmured. There was a long pause, during which Emery ate the cake she’d selected, then reached for and devoured another two. Sugar, she was finding, was one of the few things that helped right now. When she’d woken up alone and cold in her new room, she had immediately ordered a hot chocolate drink to be brought to her and had drunk it alone in the bed, missing her husband with every fiber of her being.

“Now I must look forward to Leah marrying,” Emery said, “so that I can move into my own house and begin my life without my husband. I don’t know what I will do with all my time if we are not living together. I will hardly need to entertain as the duchess if we are living apart.”

“You may still entertain,” Georgina said slowly. “And perhaps you may take up charity work. You could, eventually, find comfort in another gentleman. It is not unknown for widows to--”

“No,” Emery said emphatically, as a knot formed in her stomach . If it can’t be Lucien, then I don’t want anyone. “I am done with love,” she said out loud. “It has been nothing but a disappointment. I will focus instead on my sisters-in-law. Perhaps they will want to come live with me. Living with Lucien is awful for them, and without me, I’m sure it will return to the drudgery it was before.”

It was quiet for another few moments, and then Georgina asked, tentatively, and with a hint of fear, “Did the Duke say anything about Henry and myself?”

Emery blinked. In her despair over his ending of their romantic relationship, she had forgotten to ask the Duke what would happen with Henry and Georgina.

“No,” she said, apologetically. “I’m sorry, he didn't. Why? Have you heard anything?”

“No,” Georgina said quickly. “But he was so adamant that Henry had compromised me that I thought he would require us to marry.”

“Is that what you want?” Emery asked, leaning forward with interest. “I know we haven’t discussed it, but it seems to me that you care for him, and I know that you care for him as well.”

“It’s certainly not how I wanted it,” Georgina said. “We do not know each other well, it is true. And if we were to marry quickly, it would only draw scandal down upon us and rumors. But I do care for him, as you say. In fact…” A small smile creased her lips. “I think I love him.”

“Really?” Emery felt her heart hitch, and despite the annoyance she still felt at her friend for being so foolish as to go off alone with Henry, she also felt a rush of excitement and pleasure. “You love him?”

Georgina looked directly at her, and Emery was shocked to see that her eyes had filled with tears. “I think I may have loved him since the moment you introduced me, Em.”

This was certainly a shock, and Emery sat back on the couch as she processed this revelation. “I never knew,” she murmured. “You never once hinted at any regard on your side!”

“Well how could I?” Georgina laughed. “He was your fiancé! I would have been the worst friend imaginable if I had told you I might be in love with your fiancé!”

“I don’t know, maybe it would have made me realize much sooner that I needed to end that engagement,” Emery said with a shrug.

Georgina peered at her a little more closely. “And are you glad the engagement ended, after everything that’s happened? Is there a part of you that wishes you had married Henry instead, considering what a disappointment the Duke has turned out to be?”

Emery thought about this for a long moment. As she did, memories of the last few weeks flooded her: dancing late at night at Lucien’s country estate; their waltz together in London; their first kiss; even their second kiss. It had ended in disappointment, yes. But would she trade for a different life? For a passionless yet friendly marriage with Henry?

And as she remembered the look in Lucien’s eyes as he had gazed down at her right before he first kissed her, she had to conclude that no, she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

“No,” she said, her voice hoarse. “I don’t wish I’d married Henry instead. Experiencing even a glimpse of passion with the Duke taught me that it does exist. Even if I’ll never experience it with him again, or any other man, I’m glad I have known it at least once.”

“I understand,” Georgina said, and she took Emery’s hand from across the table. “I feel the same way. Even if the Duke doesn’t allow Henry to ever see me again, I’m glad I experienced that moment alone with him in the hedge maze. It was one of the best moments of my life--before it became one of the worst.”

“I don’t think the Duke will forbid Henry to see you,” Emery said. “Most likely, he will have Henry marry you.”

“Then I suppose I should be glad,” she said, smiling faintly. “It certainly won’t be the romantic proposal I dreamed of, but I do love him very much. I just hope that it won’t cause any more scandal for your family.”

“I hope so as well,” Emery said grimly. “But I think this family is more resilient than the Duke does, and if we stick together--you, me, Henry, Leah, Celeste, and Eve--then I think we can weather any storm.”

And with my friends and sisters-in-law, I can weather whatever is coming for me as a duchess estranged from her husband.

It wasn’t a pleasant thought, but it also wasn’t the worst. At least she wouldn’t be entirely alone moving forward. Which is more than she could say for her husband.

Despite what Lucien had told his wife the night before, the distance between them already felt like an icy dagger to his chest. It was almost pathetic how little time had passed since they had separated--less than a day!--and yet he still felt sick with missing her. Waking up that morning and finding, once again, that his bed was empty, had been one of the most heart wrenching moments of his life. And when he’d come down to breakfast, it was to learn that she had asked a tray to be sent up to her. In the past, she had never done that, although it was common for married women to do. Instead, she’d spent breakfast with him before they began their separate activities for the day.

For the next six months, I’ll have this to look forward to: her avoiding me at all cost.

It had felt all day as if his sisters were avoiding him as well, and he knew why: it was obvious to anyone in the house that he and Emery were no longer on good terms. Not only had her move into a different part of the house attracted much attention, but he’d seen all his sisters whispering together at tea time and sending disappointed looks in his direction.

Interesting how they just assume it’s my fault , he thought bitterly, although of course, he knew it was.

There was a knock on his door, and Lucien started and looked up. “Come in,” he called out, his voice hoarse, and to his surprise, it was Henry who entered.

“Henry,” Lucien said calmly, motioning at the chair across from him. “I wasn’t expecting to see you today. I thought you would still be too furious to speak with me.”

“I’m not furious,” Henry said as he sat down in the chair across from Lucien. He hesitated. “Well, I suppose part of me is,” he admitted after a moment. “But I also came here to apologize.”

“Oh?” Lucien raised an eyebrow. “Alright then.” He settled into his armchair and looked expectantly at his brother, who shifted in his seat, a nervous look on his face.

At last, Henry cleared his throat and looked up at Lucien, meeting his eyes with some difficulty.

“I really am sorry, Lucien,” he mumbled. “I realize now how foolish I was yesterday to meet with Miss Holloway like that. I can’t believe I did something so reckless and so disrespectful to the woman I love. I understand why you were so angry with me, Lucien, and honestly, I feel I deserve even more of a reproof for what I did.”

“Really?” Lucien was surprised to hear this. He hadn’t expected his brother to capitulate so quickly, nor had he expected him to have such insight into the damage he had caused. But then his eyes narrowed with suspicion.

He’s just trying to lure me into a false sense of security. He wants me to think he has seen the error of his ways so that I won’t be as vigilant, and then he will begin to secretly court Miss Holloway again--or worse, run off with her.

“Why are you saying this?” he demanded. “Because if you are trying to placate me so that you can sneak around behind my back--”

“No, Lucien, I’m not.” And Henry looked so sincere, and so apologetic, that Lucien felt his anger and suspicion melt away. “I really am sorry for what I did. I didn’t behave like a gentleman.” His brother’s eyes flicked to his. “I didn’t behave as you would have behaved.”

“Oh.” Lucien wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. “I never thought that you would want to act the way I would,” he said after a moment. “I thought you thought I was a heartless, feeling-less wretch.”

Henry smiled with embarrassment. “I do think that sometimes, Lucien, but you have to admit: you’ve given off that impression for some time now.”

“I suppose I have,” Lucien said with some effort. It wasn’t easy to admit his mistakes, but if Henry could admit his, then Lucien could do the same as well.

“But of course that’s not all I think,” Henry continued softly. “You’re my older brother, Lucien, and I look up to you. Of course I do. All my life, you have been the exemplary figure of gentlemanly behavior. And I have been… well, the screw-up.”

“You think that about yourself?” Lucien asked, astonished. “I thought you always took great pleasure in being the more ‘amusing’ and ‘fun’ one, that you thought me uptight and uppity.”

“Of course I don’t think that,” Henry said, shaking his head. “I have always felt inferior to you, Lucien. You were so perfect, and I was so much worse at remembering all the rules and sticking to them, so I suppose I just embraced it. It was easier to be the ‘amusing’ or ‘fun’ one if that’s what I was good at, but deep down, I always wanted to be more like you.”

Lucien couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. It was such a shift from what he had believed for so long about his dynamic with his brother that it took him a moment to reorient himself.

“That’s what I always felt about you,” he said at last. “I had to be the perfect, responsible one, or else the family might fall apart, especially after Mama and Papa’s deaths. But deep down, I wished to be more like you.”

Henry shook his head in wonder. “Strange that we were both feeling that way and never communicated it to one another,” he said, a slight hiccup of amusement in his voice. “Everything might have been easier if we had just talked about this much sooner.”

“Yes, most likely,” Lucien said, and he felt the urge to laugh as well. “Everything might have been much easier between us. Although in truth, I don’t think I was ready to admit any of this until now. I’m not sure what has changed, but--”

“Emery is what has changed,” Henry interrupted, smiling softly. “She is what has changed you.”

Lucien didn’t say anything. Does Henry know that she moved into her own room? It was likely he did; the servants and the girls would have been gossiping about it all day. But that didn’t change the fact Henry thought Emery had made Lucien a better brother; more open; more able to talk about things. It warmed his heart to think this, even if he didn’t yet know if things would ever be salvaged between him and Emery--or if he wanted them to be.

“Anyway,” Henry said, clearing his throat. “The reason I came to talk to you today is because I wanted to tell you I agree with you: I shouldn’t ever speak to Miss Holloway again. Of course, I’m devastated by this, but I know it’s the right thing to do. I risked not only Leah’s reputation, but Georgina’s, and I realize now that if I would do something like that to her, then I don’t deserve to marry her.” A pained but resolved look overcame Henry, and he cleared his throat again. “She deserves a man who will court her the proper way. If I can’t do that, then I’m clearly not ready for the responsibility that marriage entails. It’s one of the most painful realizations I’ve ever come to, but I know it’s the right thing to do.”

Henry glanced down at the desk, and Lucien considered him for a long moment.

Yes , he wanted to say. You are right, she deserves better than you, and it is much safer if you never speak to her again, since you cannot be trusted to think and behave reasonably around this woman.

But then Henry’s words came back to him: Emery is what changed you.

The words echoed through his head, and with them came the realization that things didn’t have to stay the way they always had been. Emery had changed him. Even if the two of them were no longer romantically involved, it didn’t change the fact she had influenced him. And he could welcome that influence, rather than staying stubborn in his old ways; ways that had only ever caused pain to everyone around him, including himself.

And as Lucien looked up at his brother, he saw the same pain he was feeling reflected back to him in Henry’s eyes: the pain of heartbreak. Henry, he realized, was trying to do the right thing, but this was coming at a great cost. He was giving up Miss Holloway in order to do the dutiful thing for his family, but he didn’t need to give her up; not when he hadn’t completely lost her yet; not when he hadn’t yet messed everything up as much as Lucien had messed them up.

“No,” Lucien heard himself say, as if from a great distance. “I cannot allow that.”

“What?” Henry’s mouth fell open, and he stared at Lucien as if he had never seen him before. “What are you saying?”

“I cannot allow you to give up the woman you love,” Lucien said, more determined this time, the courage of his conviction beginning to spread throughout his entire body. “You do love this woman, do you not? You haven’t changed your mind about that since last you saw her?”

“Of course I still love her!” Henry nearly shouted. “She is my best friend and the most intelligent, interesting, beautiful, grounding, and capable woman I have ever met. I would do anything for her, Lucien, anything at all. I love her with all my heart.”

“Then you must marry her,” Lucien said, not even fully believing what he was saying as the words left his lips. “I was wrong to say you shouldn’t speak to her again. Not only is it the honorable thing for you to marry the girl, but it would be a tragedy if you were to let her go when you love her as much as you profess to.”

“I--I agree!” Henry’s mouth was still agape, and he looked thrown, dizzy even. Lucien didn’t blame him. This was all happening so fast. Lucien had changed his mind in a second, but now he was so determined to make this happen that nothing could sway him.

“I will speak to her father,” he said, standing suddenly, in order to demonstrate his authority on the matter. “And a special license will be procured! To prevent any tomfoolery or scandal between the two of you.”

“A special license?” Henry repeated, dazed. “Yes, I suppose that is best. Although I promise you, the last thing we want is any more scandal or tomfoolery.”

“Good,” Lucien said. “I don’t think it will be too hard to convince the Archbishop. He is a little terrified of me, especially after everything that happened with my wedding to Emery. That took a good deal of coaxing, but I was able to frighten him into it in the end.”

“Are you serious about all this?” Henry was still sitting, but he rose to his feet slowly, looking at Lucien with a very somber expression. “Because if this is just a trick to test me--”

“It’s no trick,” Lucien said at once. “I want this. In fact, I may need this.”

Henry paused, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Because you and Emery are not…?”

“Our relationship is complicated,” Lucien said, in a tone of voice which he hoped told his brother he didn’t wish to discuss it any further. “Suffice it to say that it would make me very happy to see you happily wed.”

Henry nodded. He seemed to think for a moment, and then his expression clouded. “Won’t this be inviting scandal, though? A quick wedding between Miss Holloway and me--her, the best friend of my former fiancé, whom I recently left at the altar? Won’t everyone believe this confirms the rumors that I abandoned Emery at the altar because I was in love with Miss Holloway? Won’t they then also believe you only married Emery out of duty and not because you loved her?”

“Yes,” Lucien said, snorting a little bit at the fact he had to spell this out for his brother. “That is very much what it will imply, and those are exactly the rumors that will spread because of it.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He couldn’t believe what he was about to say, but he did anyway. “Still, I find that I cannot sacrifice one sibling’s happiness just to save the reputation of another’s. Anyway, Leah doesn’t seem to need our reputation to be as perfect as I thought she did. She is a hit amongst the ton , or so I read in the gossip sheets. Despite the fact she comes from a slightly scandalous family.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Henry asked, shaking his head. “She has always been better than the rest of us combined, hasn’t she?”

“She is a natural, it is true,” Lucien agreed.

For a long moment, the two brothers continued to gazed at each other, a friendly but wary look in each of their eyes.

“So this is really happening?” Henry asked after a moment. “I’m really marrying Miss Holloway in the next few days?”

“Yes,” Lucien said, laughing slightly as the full gravity of it hit him. “We came to London to marry one sibling, but I suppose another one will do.”

“Thank you, Lucien,” Henry said, and he held out his hand. “You are the best older brother for whom I could ever ask.”

Lucien reached out and took Henry’s hand, gripping it tightly before shaking it. “You’re welcome. Now, you better be off to Holloway House and propose to your bride, so that she knows to be ready to be married in a few days' time.”

Henry laughed, dropped his hand, and then turned and walked to the door. When his hand was on the handle, he paused for a moment and turned back to Lucien. “You really have changed, Lucien,” he said, his eyes boring into Lucien’s. “Your wife really did do some good.”

With a dry mouth, Lucien nodded. “I know.”

“Then I think you should listen to your own advice and not put one sibling’s reputation over the happiness of another.”

“What do you--”

“You’re not going to ruin Leah’s reputation because you let yourself love your wife.” Henry’s eyes glinted knowingly. “And if I were you, I wouldn’t let that woman go. One of us already made that mistake, but for you, I have a feeling it would be a life regret.”

He left the study, leaving Lucien with the strange feeling that his brother might just be right.