13
CAMERON
T he inviting scent of spices filled the air at the Indigo Lounge. The kitchen was alive with the sound of chopping, sizzling, and chatter as Cameron, Esme, and Sasha gathered around a table strewn with notebooks, pens, and various culinary ingredients. They were deep in the throes of brainstorming new specials for the upcoming menu.
“I’m telling you, we need to name one of the drinks after Marsha P.,” Esme said, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. “She was iconic! Come on! Let’s be real. What would be a better name for a cocktail? It sounds so bold! And just the right thing to have before this spicy cannelloni deal we’ve got going on.”
Cameron smiled faintly, her mind only half involved in the conversation. “Marsha P. Sure. It would definitely bring the party vibe,” she said, jotting down the name.
“Totally,” Sasha chimed in, stirring a pot on the stove. “And we can make it a colorful, layered drink to represent the pride flag! I’m also thinking rainbow shots all the way—definitely a crowd-pleaser!”
“Perfect,” said Esme. “But we need a second drink to pair with it. What about a classic? Maybe something like The Lorde?”
Cameron’s smile faded as the debate swirled around her. While her friends passionately discussed the drink names, her thoughts drifted elsewhere. To Goldie.
“Earth to Cameron? Are you with us?” Sasha’s voice cut through.
“Yeah, totally. Sorry. I was just thinking,” Cameron replied, shaking her head as if trying to dispel the fog of her thoughts.
Esme leaned in, her expression softening. “You’ve been a bit off. You sure you’re okay?”
“Honestly, I’m fine,” Cameron insisted, knowing every word was a lie.
“Come on,” Esme urged gently. “You’re in safe hands. You know you can talk to us.”
Cameron hesitated, glancing at her friends. They had always been her support system, but this was different. The emotions she carried felt too complex, too messy to share. Yet, as she looked into their concerned faces, she felt the urge to open up.
“It’s just…I’ve been dealing with some stuff,” Cameron finally admitted as she shuffled from one foot to another and stared down at the undone laces on one of her boots. “But I can’t really talk about it.”
“Why not? Is everything okay?” Sasha pressed.
“I… I’m… You know what I’m like, ladies,” Cameron mumbled, the words tumbling out in a rush. “There’s someone I’m involved with, but I can’t tell you who it is. It’s complicated.”
“Cameron,” Esme said softly, her tone encouraging. “Really? You mean, someone you like? Listen, whoever it is, we promise to keep it between us. You know we won’t say a word. Usually you love to tell us the gossip, so why is it a secret all of a sudden?”
The sincerity in Esme’s voice made Cameron feel slightly ashamed for not having spoken about it sooner. She took a deep breath, weighing her options.
“Promise?” she finally asked, her hands trembling slightly as she reached for her notebook.
“Promise!” Esme and Sasha replied in unison.
“I’m talking about someone I really like. But I’m terrified of messing it up.”
Sasha raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “You mean like a crush? But this never happens to you, Cam. You kiss and tell. You love and leave.”
“I know. But this time, it’s more than that. I sound crazy, don’t I?” Cameron replied, her cheeks flushing. “This person—this woman, obviously—is important to me. But I keep sabotaging things because I’m scared of how it could affect my life, my career, everything.”
Esme nodded, and Cameron could see it on her face that she understood. “That’s a pretty heavy burden to carry, sweetie. But you deserve your happy ever after too. Have you talked to her about it?”
“I don’t know how to,” Cameron said, shaking her head slowly. “What if she can’t handle me? The real me. What if I ruin everything? I kinda freaked out and ran off.”
Sasha leaned in closer, her expression earnest. “But isn’t this the cycle you’ve been stuck in for years, Cam? You’re letting your anxieties control you. You can’t keep sleeping around forever, you know?”
“I know,” Cameron admitted, feeling the frustration bubbling beneath the surface. “But it’s hard. Every time I think about reaching out to her, I freeze. I don’t want to put myself out there and then wind up getting hurt. Or worse, hurting her.”
“Cameron,” Esme said gently, “you’ve already slept with her. And you’ve both grown from that, huh? Isn’t that worth something? That’s so not you. You’re changing—with her, for her.”
Cameron bit her lip as she contemplated Esme’s words. She knew her friends were right; the relationship had grown, and every moment they’d shared felt significant. Yet the fear of losing that connection was almost paralyzing.
“I just want to figure things out,” she said, conviction beginning to seep into her voice. “I want her back. I need to find a way to make it right, but I think I’ve probably fucked it up already.”
Sasha grinned. “Okay then. Let’s put the menus and cocktails to one side for now and turn our problem-solving skills to this situation you’ve got going. If you want to make some grand gesture, you know we’re the ones you need on board. That’s so our thing. We can help you fix this.”
“What do you have in mind?” Cameron asked.
“Something movie-worthy,” Sasha suggested, her eyes lighting up. “A public declaration! Think about it. How many romcoms have you seen where someone makes a big scene to win back their love?”
Cameron rolled her eyes. “You mean like holding a boombox outside her window?”
“Now you’re talking!” Sasha exclaimed, her excitement becoming infectious. “Or a scavenger hunt where you’re the prize at the end. It could be totally cute!”
Esme laughed, shaking her head. “As much as I love the romcom idea, let’s get more personal. It does sound a little Hollywood cliché. What does she like? What are her passions? What’s meaningful to her?”
Cameron took a moment to think about it. “Goldie loves the arts. She’s passionate about films and music. She mentioned wanting to start a community project for aspiring filmmakers. Maybe I could do something along those lines?”
“Oh. Goldie? Ah! I see! Oh wow! That makes sense now,” Esme said, her smile growing wider. “Okay then, I guess you could organize a film screening. Ah, sorry. I’m feeling a little starstruck.”
“I’m loving this,” Sasha added, bouncing in her seat. “Goldie Richards. Fuck me. I can’t believe you, Cam.”
“This is all so perfect!” Esme said. “Right! Let’s call Deborah and get her in on this plan. She can help you pull this off.”
“Deborah?” Cameron’s heart raced. “What’s she going to do? She’s gonna kill me.”
Esme grinned, pulling out her phone. “She’s got connections, and she’ll definitely want to help you make this special. Plus, if she’s in town for interviews, it’ll be easier to coordinate. She won’t mind; she’s got bigger things on her mind, like Holly!”
Before Cameron could voice her hesitation, Esme had dialed Deborah’s number and put her on speaker.
“Deborah! You there?” Esme said, her voice cheerful.
“Hey, Esme! What’s up?” Deborah’s voice crackled through the speaker, warm and inviting.
“Cameron has something important to share, and we need your help,” Esme replied, glancing at Cameron with a reassuring smile.
“Important? What’s going on?” Deborah asked, her curiosity piqued.
Cameron felt her stomach flip. “Um, well, I’ve been talking about someone special in my life. I can’t really go into detail, but?—”
“Someone special?” Deborah echoed, her tone teasing. “What’s this all about?”
Cameron’s cheeks burned as she listened to Deborah’s question. “Maybe…”
“Just spill, already!” Deborah said, almost shouting, her voice playful.
Cameron took a deep breath, steeling herself. “I’m talking about Goldie Richards.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line, and Cameron could hear the slight rustle of movement as Deborah processed the information. “Goldie? Wow. I’ve gotta say, Cam, she’s a handful, but she is gorgeous.”
“She sure is,” Cameron admitted, a smile coming to her lips. “But things are pretty complicated, and I think messed up. I want to make it up to her, but I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not used to all this lovey-dovey stuff.”
“First of all,” Deborah said, her voice steady, “you really do need to own up to your feelings. That’s the first step. Does Esme think I can help you? You know I will if I can.”
“That would be amazing. Maybe we could get together, and you could help me work things out. I’d like to surprise her,” Cameron said, relief flooding her.
“Great! Let’s meet up when I’m in town,” Deborah suggested, her tone encouraging.
“I’d really appreciate that,” Cameron replied, feeling more excited than she had in some time.
Esme and Sasha exchanged glances, their smiles widening as the conversation continued.
As they hung up, Cameron felt a sense of clarity wash over her. She still wasn’t quite sure where she was going, but she knew she was going somewhere.
“Alright,” Cameron said, her voice steady. “I’m ready to make this happen.”
Sasha clapped her hands together. “That’s the spirit! Now, let’s get back to fine-tuning the cocktails. No more interruptions. Anyone else madly in love with someone they haven’t told or can we do some work now?”