In the Wake of the Wicked (Veridian Empire #1)

56. Rose

56

Rose

M y fault.

My fault.

My fault.

I’d been foolish, not thinking of the consequences of using such strong magic, not thinking of the price …and Chaz had paid it.

Leo stormed past Rissa and into the cottage, leaving his twin and me outside in the silvery glow of night. She shot me a worried look and then reached down to grab my hand, squeezing it before leading me after Leo. Warmth spread in my chest, followed by a bitter sting—if Rissa knew I’d done this, that my actions had caused one of her best friends to be cursed, would she still want to be near me?

The cottage was silent as death. Chaz’s sleeping body lay on the couch, with Horace slumped in the chair next to him and Lark leaning against the wall in the kitchen. Sorrow was written on her dark features. Leo knelt at Chaz’s side, pulling his eyelid open to expose the blood-red iris.

He didn’t speak, his face unreadable. Swiftly, he rose from his crouch as his tail snapped against the legs of the end table.

“Let’s get you back to the palace,” he said, crossing the room and placing a hand on my waist. I wanted to argue, wanted to insist that I stay to help or at least sit with them, be there for them, but the tired look in Leo’s eyes had me nodding in silent agreement.

Rissa pulled me aside and gave me a tight hug. “We’ll see you soon, alright?” Leaning back, she offered a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Stay safe, Rose.”

“You too,” I murmured. “Will I see you before the third trial?”

Lark answered from across the room, her voice flat and distant. “That won’t start for a couple days after the ball. We should have plenty of time to debrief before then.”

I nodded again, letting Leo turn me away and to the front door. At the last second, I twisted my neck to take in the view of the four of them. “I’ll fix this,” I promised. “We’ll find a way to end the curse.”

Lark met my gaze. “I know you will.”

Leo’s strong hand around my upper arm urged me out of the cottage. He helped me mount Nightshade and we took off into the forest toward the palace.

Tension shifted like smoke in the air between us, but I couldn’t place where it came from. Was it from our fight? The kiss? The news about Chaz?

I closed my eyes. I wondered if Leo blamed me, too. If he realized Chaz being cursed was because of my magic.

“You were right,” I whispered, feeling his arms clench around me as we rode. “I was careless. I didn’t think about what might happen, and now…”

One of his hands came to rest on my stomach, pulling my back closer into his chest. “You think this is your fault?” he asked.

“Isn’t it?” I craned my neck to glance at him. “Magic that strong has a price. You said it yourself—I bent laws of nature. I saved that boy when it shouldn’t have been possible, and the price was Chaz.”

Sighing, Leo’s muscles relaxed slightly. “I don’t know, Rose. Blood magic is complicated. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry with you about helping the Lightbender boy. You did an amazing thing— truly. You changed that family’s life.” He pressed a kiss to my temple. “But there’s still so much we don’t know about this kind of magic. We’ve seen multiple times what that power can bring. My father, and now Chaz, and Gayl with the curse…” He trailed off, clearing his voice and tightening his grip on me.

“Are you going to tell the others? Your sister?”

He didn’t respond at first, then said, “Not yet. It will only make her worry, and she has enough to deal with. She would divert her attention to keeping me away from the mission instead of focusing on what’s important. I’ll tell her when the time is right.”

We rode in silence for a few minutes, giving me time to think. I bore no regret for finally telling him the truth, for finally being honest and bringing down that last barrier between us. But I would never forget the way he slammed his fist into that tree. The truth had broken a part of him, like I knew it would.

I was afraid his grief and shock would catch up to him and make him realize this night was a mistake. That what he’d admitted to me was a product of heightened emotions. That he didn’t know what he was doing when he kissed me or said he wanted me. All of me. Maybe now he realized what that meant, and?—

“I can feel you spiraling,” he said into my ear, breaking me from my thoughts. His lips lingered there, and I fought back a shiver.

“No, you can’t,” I mumbled. “Do you want to talk about any of it? The curse?”

He released a breath that came out like a hum. The sound rumbled through my body and into my core, igniting new heat. “I want to talk about it, yes. Eventually. But right now,” he said in a low voice, his thumb rubbing slowly across my stomach, “I’m having a hard time thinking about anything else.”

Holding the reins with one hand and reaching the other to turn my face, he brought his lips to the corner of my mouth, dragging them down to my jaw and back up. The motion traced a path of fire on my skin. I held my breath as he hovered over my lips, his nose skimming mine.

“What about the horse?” I murmured, the movement making my bottom lip brush against his.

“He knows the way.” His warm breath washed over me, and my eyes fluttered shut as his lips met mine.

He moved slowly at first, drawing the kiss out, tasting me. The hand at my cheek shifted to the nape of my neck, leaving goosebumps as his fingers trailed upward, the calloused pads pressing into my skin. They wound through my hair and gave a tug that made me gasp. The kiss became more urgent. Feverish. Like he was no longer simply relishing it, but needing it.

I broke away panting and rested my forehead against his. His entire world had been turned upside down tonight. Maybe this was going too fast.

“Am I just a distraction?” I asked. “Is this even real?”

He pulled back to meet my stare, his eyes darkened with both desire and pain. I knew that expression. Not knowing what to think, what to say, what to feel. Wanting a way to cover it up and shove it aside, to cling to something that made you feel alive.

“Why can’t it be both?” he responded.

Nightshade’s gait slowed as we neared the palace. He stopped a ways from the treeline at the hidden spot Leo always kept him to avoid detection.

I swallowed and scooted forward to Nightshade’s neck, lifting my body so I was balancing on the horse’s back.

“Rose, what are you?—”

I turned around to face him, lowering myself back down and straddling his waist. He sucked in a breath and let the reins fall. The horse remained in place, his tail swishing against a low-hanging branch.

“I’ll be your distraction, if that’s what you need. But I also want to be your peace . I want to be the thing that tethers you when you feel your world crumbling.” I rested my hand on his heart, feeling its wild beats. “Take what you need tonight, but I’m not going anywhere. I promise. ”

His eyes softened as he tucked away a lock of hair that whipped across my face in the wind. “All I need is you.”

I covered his hand with mine and kissed his palm, mapping the lines on it with the tip of my finger. His skin was smooth yet rough at the same time. Soft and calloused. Strong and gentle. Much like him. I pressed my palm flush to his, marveling at how we fit so well together, his hard edges to my soft curves. At the fact that this man wanted me .

He intertwined our fingers and used his other hand to guide my chin forward, his lips meeting mine in a tender kiss that stripped away all fear, all hesitancy, all pain.

I sucked in a breath through my nose and pressed further into him, winding my arms around his neck, meeting him stroke for stroke, touch for touch.

I was melting. I was flying. I was falling .

I may not have done many good things in this life. I may not have been the perfect niece or the perfect Alchemist, the kind, doting girl who forgave easily and loved freely. But if there was one thing I would do right, it was protect him.

There was another way out of this curse. There had to be. And I would burn the world down to find it.

We entered the palace under an invisibility spell and made our way up to my room. I was too tired to deal with guards questioning my whereabouts so late in the evening, even though challengers were allowed to roam freely.

Fatigue swept over me. The heat from my time with Leo was so at odds with the guilt over Chaz’s predicament that my mind was left reeling, unsure how to cope.

I wanted to take a bath, eat, and sleep. Maybe kiss Leo some more. Not necessarily in that order.

But when we slipped inside my room, I knew none of those things would be happening tonight .

A sealed envelope rested on my bed with my name in Theodore’s familiar handwriting. Groaning, I grabbed it and took out my dagger, carefully slitting open the top.

“Is that from—” Leo hissed as he reached to see what the envelope said and the tip of my blade sliced his finger.

“Sorry—here,” I said absently, handing him an extra strip of cloth from my bag to wrap around his finger, then answered, “It’s from the emperor.” I quickly scanned the contents, relaying them as I read. “He wants to meet again tonight. Another lesson. He expected me”—I glanced at the clock on the wall—“half an hour ago.”

“Can you send him a message? Push it off to tomorrow?”

“Yes, I—” My brow furrowed. Something tugged at the back of my mind. Something that wouldn’t let me put this off.

I wet my lips. “I—I think I should go. I don’t want him to get suspicious of anything. He already knows I’m close with the Sentinels, and has assured your protection only so long as he doesn’t think you’re up to something.”

Leo ran a hand through his hair. “I know we don’t see eye to eye on this and you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself. But I don’t like what he’s teaching you. He’s not telling you the full truth about this magic. What does he want from you? Why does he insist on these meetings?”

“I understand how temperamental blood magic can be—trust me, Leo. I don’t want what happened today to ever happen again.” I swallowed. The truth of my statement was at odds with the idea of letting this power go. Of having this taste of ecstasy and freedom, only to have it ripped from me. “But I have a part to play, remember? I’m getting close to him. I think I could even try to read his Grimoire, see if there are any notes or spells in his research that hint at a way to get around this curse. He told me he’d never found another solution, but I don’t know if I believe him anymore. I have to at least try.”

He put his forehead to mine and breathed out. “I don’t like this,” he said .

I laughed softly. “Is the big, bad half Shifter worried about me?”

He kissed my cheek, stealing the humor and replacing it with a heavy warmth deep in my chest. “You have no idea. I become a useless wreck every time I know you’re with him. Every time I know I can’t help you if something goes wrong.” A dry chuckle left his throat. “Chaz called me a stalker last time.”

His face fell at the mention of his friend, and I cupped his cheek. “I’ll be fine. Theodore won’t hurt me.”

My use of the emperor’s first name made Leo’s forehead crinkle. “You seem to put a lot of faith in him.” His tone wasn’t accusatory, only concerned, and for once, my defenses didn’t raise. I needed to be open with him, to stop seeing every word as a threat or reproach.

I sighed and closed my eyes. “I know. And I know he’s done terrible things. I’m not trying to deny that. But I—I’m just confused.” I hadn’t talked much about my time with Theodore for fear of letting something slip, but now that Leo knew the whole truth, it was a relief to finally share everything with him.

Slumping onto the end of the bed, I leaned back on my hands and faced the ceiling. “I used to hate him. I hated this shadowed figurehead that ran the empire, who let all these terrible things happen to the provinces and seemed to love feeding into people’s darker sides. Then…then I found out who he was.” My brow furrowed, my words slowing as I thought through them. “The fact that he’s my uncle didn’t negate any of that, but…I started seeing him differently. He wasn’t who I expected him to be. He was sentimental, regretful, even. I think he truly misses my father and what they used to have.”

I snuck a glance at Leo, surprised to find him attentive, no judgment or disapproval on his features. It gave me courage to continue. “He represented something I didn’t think I’d ever have again. He could tell me about my father, about his life before me, his dreams and passions and talents. And when I found out about the blood magic…it gave me a sense of purpose. Power. I’d always be en told it was this monstrous, evil magic that corrupted you and broke every law of nature.” I pressed my lips together. “Maybe it is, in some ways. But he made me think about it differently. And maybe…maybe not everything is so black and white. Good or evil. I think all magic can have a bit of both in it. Fates, people can have a bit of both.”

Standing abruptly, I paced in front of my bed. “He has this passion that’s so contagious . And a way of forcing you to see things in a new light. But you’re right. It’s dangerous. Because even when I know I’m right, even when I confront him, I leave questioning…everything. It’s like he has this hold over me, and I—I can’t see past that when I’m with him.”

Leo put both hands on my shoulders, stopping me from my movements. “You’re not the only one, sweetheart. That’s why he’s so powerful. Having strong magic is one thing, but the power to convince people? To influence them so completely that they question their own beliefs? That’s true control. And that’s the danger, Rose. Not his magic.” He pulled me into an embrace, his hand slipping beneath my shirt and pressing into my lower back. I sank into his hold and closed my eyes.

“Be careful,” he whispered in my ear, his lips soft against my skin. “He can’t control you unless you let him. Remember how you feel right now, and don’t let his words twist inside your head.”

I nodded, pulling back to look at him. “Will you be here when I get back?”

A gentleness settled in his eyes. He played with a strand of my hair, winding it around his finger. “I’m not going anywhere, Rose.”