In the Wake of the Wicked (Veridian Empire #1)

55. Leo

55

Leo

M y roar echoed through the forest. The skin on my knuckles split, but the sting was a light affliction to the thoughts racing in my mind.

It would heal quickly. It didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered.

Rose gasped. “Leo?—”

“This whole time,” I panted, pressing my forehead into the trunk. “We’ve had the answer this whole time. We could have saved thousands ?—”

“But you would have died!”

“I wasn’t supposed to live to begin with!” Pushing off from the tree, I faced her again, watching her beautiful features solidify into resolve.

Part of me wanted to deny everything. To rage against her words, toss them aside as more lies fed to her by the emperor. But deep down, I knew.

My father had always been paranoid. A man constantly being chased by his past, never willing to put us in danger. I remembered how outraged he was when Rissa, Mother, or I would leave the house, how terrified he was of something happening. Of someone finding us. He’d established wards to protect the cottage, made us swear we would never speak to a soul if we didn’t have to, and panicked at the slightest sign of sickness or injury.

And the guilt. His guilt had rested on his shoulders every day of his life. It made sense now—the price to keep his family had meant the downfall of his empire.

My mother…she must know, too. The truth was slowly eating her alive, the way it had eaten my father. But instead of the paranoia and aggravation his guilt had manifested as, hers was burrowing into her, a poison she couldn’t escape from. Ever since Father died, she’d been losing pieces of herself, unable to bear the weight of it alone.

How was one supposed to live with the knowledge that their mere existence was the reason for an entire empire’s pain? For thousands of peoples lives being stolen, frozen in a single moment in time?

How was I supposed to live with it?

“How long have you known?” I asked.

She didn’t answer immediately. Her teeth pulled at her lower lip, and I cursed my body for still wanting her. For still hoping to find comfort in her as I had these past weeks.

“Since the first night I met with Gayl.”

I replayed that night again in my mind. Finding her in that dark hallway, begging her not to go see him. Then climbing up to her window just to make sure she was safe.

The night I asked her if we could start over.

I scoffed, channeling my hurt into anger. “I don’t know why I’m surprised. Nothing else about that night was the truth, was it?”

Her green eyes sparked with challenge. “I’m sorry, Leo, but I thought I was doing what was best. I didn’t know how to tell you the truth. I knew this would crush you, and I thought I could figure out a way around it. I thought I could find another solution that didn’t involve you.”

“Over two decades and countless highly trained Alchemists, and you thought you could solve everything in a handful of weeks? On your own? ”

Her cheeks flushed, and my blood heated. Good—I wanted a fight. I needed to feel something besides this empty pit opening wider and wider, threatening to pull me under.

“I was trying to save you,” she said in a raised voice, stepping closer to me. “If I’d told you, what would you have done? Gone off and sacrificed yourself like some noble martyr?”

“That would be my choice to make, Rose!” I argued. “ You hiding this from me has taken that choice away.”

Her jaw twitched, but she didn’t back down. “I’m right, though. You would have chosen to die,” she pushed. “I shouldn’t have taken your choice away. You have the right to know the truth, and for that, I’m sorry.” She threw her hands in the air. “I’m sorry for so many things. Look, I know you don’t approve of me learning blood magic. I should have told you about all of it, but…Fates, can’t you see I’m doing this for you?” Her brow knitted together, her words turning into a plea. “Getting close to him, learning about his past and his magic, figuring out how to become strong enough…it’s for you . It’s been killing me to keep this a secret, but you know what?” Eyes blazing, she tilted her head to look up at me, wild and emboldened. “I would do it again, Leo. Because I’m not going to lose you.”

She was so close now, I could reach out and grab her. I was stunned. In all our nights together, she was so controlled, so careful not to let her true feelings for me slip. Despite her refusal to speak them aloud, I felt it in the way she tucked her body into mine. The way her hand sought my fingers when the nightmares overtook her. The way she smiled at me when nobody else was looking, as if to say her joy was only for me.

But there was power in words. And Rose hid behind her fear of that, of giving voice to what had grown between us. I understood now why she’d kept that part of herself closed off.

Rose didn’t know how to give herself fully to someone. Not when there was something blocking the path. These secrets she’d been holding onto, the lies she’d been weaving…even when I thought I was seeing all of her, there had been a wall in my face .

Now, it was shattered. Every brick tumbled around us, and I was finally looking at her for the first time. Nothing separating us. Nothing keeping us from sinking into the depths.

I was furious . She’d betrayed my trust and forced me into the dark. She’d lied to me even when I gave her the space to be open. She was dangerous and sharp and willing to do whatever it took to make things play out the way she wanted.

But somehow, I was still falling. I had been since the moment I found her in that dark alcove.

I swallowed hard, taking in her words and the truth behind what she said. “You would condemn the world for the sake of one man?”

“I know. I know it’s wrong,” she murmured, drawing nearer. Her breath was warm on my neck, the scent of lavender and sage enveloping me. The forest faded around us as she reached out to brush aside the lock of hair that had fallen over my eye. I caught her wrist, and her fierce gaze snapped up. “But I don’t care.”

She grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me to her, crashing her lips into mine.

This kiss wasn’t timid. It wasn’t hesitant, like two beings scared to learn one another for the first time, afraid to lose themselves or push too far.

This kiss was my annihilation. The tearing down of everything I’d known before. The second I held her in my arms, the second I tasted her, the damage was done. My anger, betrayal, desire, dread, and passion collided and fractured as my fingers wound in her hair, a groan of relief vibrating between our bodies.

This kiss was my destruction. My downfall. But if this was falling, I never wanted to stop.

Her nails dug into my skin, pressing me closer, desperate to apologize in a way words alone couldn’t. I ran my tongue along her lips and she let out a sigh as they parted, sending a scorching trail of heat to my core. Gripping the backs of her thighs, I lifted until she wrapped her legs around my waist. My body buzzed everywhere we touched. She kissed me greedily, hungrily, achingly, and I slammed her against the nearest tree, bracing her head with my hand. She gasped at the contact as I broke away. Her pupils were blown out, cheeks flushed and lips swollen.

I lowered my head to her neck, trailing my mouth along her pulse as it throbbed. I flicked my tongue against it and grounded out, “Is there anything else you’d like to confess?”

She squirmed and ran her nails up my back, which sent a distracting shiver through me. I raised my tail and wound it around her wrists, yanking them away from me and holding them above her head, pressed into the tree trunk.

She blinked, her chest heaving. “I—I don’t?—”

I silenced her with another kiss. My Shifter half emerged against my will, summoned by my adrenaline, and I was flooded with so much of her that it almost brought me to my knees.

Lightly nipping at her bottom lip, I grazed my nose along her cheek and over to the space below her ear. “It’s a simple question,” I murmured, savoring the way her eyes fluttered. I released her wrists and backed away to cup her face, forcing aside the desire bursting under my skin. I couldn’t do this if she was still hiding things. I was already on the brink of no return, but I couldn’t lose myself if there was any chance that would happen again.

My thumb brushed across her cheek, and I sensed her breaths slowing. “I’ve been nothing but honest with you since the night we agreed to start over, Rose. I’ve shown you the broken pieces of my past, the parts I hide from everyone else. Because I want to. I want you . But I won’t let you make me a fool. If this isn’t?—”

“No, no, it’s—this is what I want, too, Leo,” she rushed out, fisting my shirt in her hands. “You know everything now, I promise. I’m done hiding. I—I’m done keeping things from you. I’ve always been afraid people won’t like what they see if they get too close, but I’m not scared anymore.” She brought her forehead to mine and my grip on her waist tightened, keeping her in place. “I want to earn your trust back. I want you to see all of me, the good and the wicked.” Leaning her head back, she met my gaze. “No more lies. No more secrets. Only us. ”

“Only us,” I agreed softly. “You don’t have to be scared with me, Rose. I want all of you.” I placed a kiss on her jaw. “Every piece you keep tucked away”—my lips skimmed her neck—“every part you think is too dark”—I kissed the edge of her lips—“I want it all.”

I pulled back to scan her face, shadowed by the thick canopy of trees. Moonlight broke through the space between leaves, illuminating her olive skin and bright eyes. Her legs squeezed around my waist, and my core tightened.

“You are so beautiful,” I said, voice gravelly as I tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

She caught my hand and held it to her face. “Kiss me, Leo.”

Leaning forward, I captured her lips with mine, wrapping my hand around her neck to pull her closer.

If the first kiss was my destruction, this was my creation. My entire being centered on this single moment, forging what was broken into something whole.

I craved her like the night craved the dawn. The languid strokes of her tongue against mine settled into me like warm rays of the sun, melting me, molding me, marking me.

I was hers. Completely, utterly, wholly hers.

I squeezed the nape of her neck and broke apart. “Rose, I?—”

The loud bang of a door slammed into my heightened senses, followed by my sister’s scream. “Rose! Leo!”

We both turned to the sound. I set Rose on her feet, my heart pounding for an entirely different reason. My sister…she never sounded that terrified.

“Rissa?” I called. Rose stayed at my side as I strode across the forest floor and toward our cottage.

My sister came into view, running to me with her blonde curls flying wildly around her face. “It—it’s Chaz,” she said shakily. “It got him.”

I gripped her shoulder. “ What got him, Rissa?”

She took a deep breath. “The curse.”