Indigo Sky

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Kate and I drove in silence on our way to her father’s house.

Mom had given me the keys to her car after what happened to mine.

“Just until the insurance gets me a rental,” I’d promised, and she’d waved a dismissive hand like it didn’t matter.

Kate was right; I was lucky to call that woman my mother.

Now, I looked across the car at the woman I had, less than twenty-four hours ago, confessed my love to. She was quiet, looking out the window at a sunny day with an expression close to jealousy. Like she envied the world for being able to enjoy a day that was wasted on us. Because after the morning we’d just had, there really wasn’t much we could do to make it better. No amount of love and sex could wipe that slate clean.

“You okay?” I asked and regretted it immediately. Of course she wasn’t okay. Neither of us was.

Still, she didn’t laugh or give me a nasty look when she replied, “Not really.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you really think it could be Jason?” she asked abruptly, turning from the window to face me.

“I don’t know, sweetheart. Maybe.”

“I know it probably sounds crazy, but I check up on him regularly, and from what I can tell, he hasn’t been anywhere near New York in years.”

I shook my head and tightened my grip on the wheel. “It doesn’t sound insane. Hell, if I were you, I’d want to know the guy’s whereabouts every freakin’ day.”

She sucked in a deep breath and turned back toward the window. “I was in therapy for a while after that all went down—"

“Yeah, I would imagine,” I interjected quietly.

“And my therapist warned me that obsessively checking up on the person who hurt me would prevent me from moving forward. So, while he was in prison, I never even Googled his name. I just … pretended he didn’t exist.”

“Makes sense to me.”

“Yeah, but after he was released, I did Google him. I told myself it would just be once, just to know what he was up to, where he was going—that kinda thing. But it wasn’t once. I mean, I’m not completely obsessive about it. Before all of this happened, I’d look him up once or twice a month, if that, but lately, it’s been … a lot.”

I nodded. “Well, given the circumstances, I think that’s understandable.”

“But …”

She hesitated, and I turned to glance at her. She clamped her lip between her teeth, worried in thought.

“What?” I asked, looking back at the road as I followed the directions to her dad’s house.

“I know it’s not him,” she finally said.

“But you don’t know,” I argued gently.

“ No ,” she snapped. “I do. That’s what I’m telling you. I know it’s not. But I wish it were because I feel like … it wouldn’t be new. It wouldn’t be unknown . But this is, and I’m more scared now than I ever was back then.”

My knuckles blanched as my fists clenched around the steering wheel. Hearing her helpless fear, enunciated in every word, was worse than seeing her cry. The primal need to protect and defend was alive in my bones, but she was right. Not knowing who or what we were fighting against made it impossible to do anything to make it stop. It would only continue until … what?

No. I didn’t want to think about it.

“Let’s just get you home, okay?” I said after moments of thinking too much. “We’ll figure it out.”

“But how ? How can we figure it out if we don’t—"

“This is where you live?” I asked, cutting her off as I pulled up to a gated condominium complex, my heart pounding quicker by the second.

She nodded and said, “Yeah,” and then gave me the access code to raise the same gate I’d slipped through with Nate years ago.

The memory of following him into that townhouse gripped my gut. I was nauseous, certain I would vomit just as I’d thought I would back then, as we rolled slowly through the one-lane streets. If I had to guess, there were about sixty, seventy units in this community. It wasn’t likely she lived anywhere near the one Nate had broken into, but I couldn’t do anything to control the dryness in my mouth or the thumping in my ears.

“Okay, right over there,” she said, pointing toward one unit, identical to all the others.

I pulled up to the curb outside what I assumed was her father’s house. There was one car in the driveway lined with budding daisies.

Daisies. There were daisies .

I glanced at the unit beside it, and the next, and the next, and every single one had daisies .

“Rev?”

Chills scattered across my skin as I glanced at Kate, her hand frozen at the seat belt buckle. She was watching me with worry burning bright in her eyes.

“Are you okay? You just got really pale.”

I swallowed and tried to wet my mouth, wishing I had some water. “Yeah, no, I’m good,” I answered when I very much wasn’t.

She wasn’t convinced—I could tell—but she relented. We unbuckled and climbed out of my mother’s car. I looked around, searching for anything to trigger another memory other than the damn daisies, but every single one of these houses looked like the last. Nothing but the occasional bird feeder or wind chime was used to make each one look less identical to the others. It was dizzying, and every warning bell in my brain told me to leave.

“We’re this one right here,” Kate said, digging her key from her purse. “That’s my dad’s nurse’s car.” She gestured toward the driveway.

“Where’s your car?” I asked, my attention focused on the house number.

Fourteen. Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen … does that sound familiar?

Why can’t I remember the house number?

Did I ever know?

“It’s in the shop,” she said. “I needed an oil change and new tires. That’s why Crystal drove me to work yesterday.”

“I thought she drove you to work so you wouldn’t be alone,” I replied as my brain worked to piece together a puzzle without the picture to work from.

“Well, I mean, yeah, there was that too.”

She shrugged her shoulder as she walked up the path to the front door. I followed tentatively, sweeping my gaze this way and that. Trying— trying —to recognize something that would trigger a memory.

You’re reaching. Just relax.

I sucked in a deep breath and tipped my head back to look at the clear blue sky, not a cloud in sight. It really was a beautiful day. Comfortable. Nice. We should’ve been hanging out in my parents’ backyard. We should’ve been taking a walk, holding hands, getting lunch at a place on Main Street to eat outside and enjoy the weather.

Maybe we still could.

Maybe we could go on a date. Brush all this shit aside for a while and just live a little without worrying about who was watching, following.

I exhaled as Kate pushed the door open. She stepped inside and was immediately greeted by a kind, feminine voice.

“Look who’s home, Howard!”

“Patricia! Oh, Patricia, you came back! Come here, come here, and let me get a good look at you.”

Kate glanced over her shoulder at me and offered a sad, small smile before leading the way into the sun-filled living room, where an older man sat on the couch with a cat in his lap, the tail swishing and eyes alert.

“Hey, Howie,” Kate said, crouching in front of him and taking his hand in hers. “How’s your day going?”

“I’m good, Patty. Even better now that you’re here.”

An older woman hurried into the room from somewhere deeper in the house, a bottle of juice in hand. “We went for a walk this morning,” she said, taking a seat beside Kate’s dad. “The weather is gorgeous .”

I stood as far away as the room would allow, not wanting to invade their personal space and potentially upset this fragile man with the bright eyes that looked all at once present and faraway. But his attention fell on me after only a moment, his head inclining curiously.

“Someone’s here, Patty,” he said. “We have company.”

Kate turned to look up at me. The nurse at Howard’s side noticed me then and smiled.

“Oh, Howie, this is my friend Revan,” Kate said, holding on to her dad’s hand as she stood and extended her other hand toward me by way of invitation.

"Revan," Howard said, raking a scrutinizing glare over me. Assessing exactly the way I thought a father would assess his daughter's new boyfriend. His eyes ended their journey by landing on mine. "You look like the villain in a superhero movie."

"Dad—Howie," Kate corrected herself with a roll of her eyes. "Be nice."

"Revan, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Angela," the nurse said, folding her hands neatly in her lap.

"You can call me Rev," I said to both her and Howard, who hadn't yet pulled his accusatory glare from mine.

The man didn't remember that the woman standing before him was his daughter, and yet I longed for his approval as if he did. I longed for him to understand that I could never play the part of a villain when I was too busy being the hero.

I took it upon myself to sit in the chair across from him and said, "I think your cat likes me more than you do, Howard."

Howard glanced down at the orange-and-black striped cat, tipping her head this way and that as she watched me with wide-eyed curiosity. That made him chuckle as he waved a dismissive, wrinkled hand with a cluck of his tongue.

"Sheba likes everyone. Don’t let it go to your head," he said. "And it's not that I don't like you. I don't know you well enough to know if I like you or not."

"That's fair," I said, nodding.

Kate caught my eye and bit her lip. I couldn't tell if she wanted to smile, laugh, or cry. Maybe all three. But what I could see was the gratitude in her stare, and it was one I understood. I was grateful too. For this moment, to be allowed to meet her father, to not recognize this room the way I’d recognized the exterior.

"But you look like someone my daughter would like," he said dryly, his eyes narrowing a bit as if he just remembered he was judging me. "My Kate, she likes guys who look like you."

My gaze jumped to Kate, whose cheeks turned a brighter shade of pink.

"Your daughter's into disheveled-looking pirates?" I asked, lifting one side of my mouth in a half smile before bringing my gaze back to her father's. "Gonna be hard to leave here without getting her number, Howard."

Angela hummed a discreet chuckle as she glanced between Kate and me before opening the bottle of juice and putting a straw inside.

"Here you go," she said, and he took the bottle in a shaking hand.

A chuckle rumbled through him as he drank, and when he was finished, he looked back at me. "Well, before I can do that, I have to be sure you're not a villain. Like Captain Hook."

"But Captain Hook was just a Lost Boy who happened to grow up," I pointed out, clasping my hands in my lap.

Howard hummed a contemplative noise and stroked Sheba's striped head. "I don't think I've ever thought of it that way, but … is he any less of a villain though?"

"No," I conceded with a shrug, "I guess not."

"So, are you?"

I raised my good eyebrow and asked, "Am I a villain?"

His lack of response was response enough, and I replied, "For the right reasons, I think I could be. But in the case of your daughter …" I tilted my head, dropped my gaze to Kate's, and said, "I can't imagine being anything but a hero."

***

Howard, I realized, grew tired easily, and after about ten minutes of banter and friendly assessment, he was ready for a nap. Angela beckoned him to follow her to another part of the house, and he groaned with a roll of his eyes.

"That woman treats me like a child," he muttered to Kate, his hand squeezing hers. "Are you coming with me, Patty? I miss you."

I hadn't yet figured out who Patty was to Howard, but Kate seemed to take it in stride, even as her smile faltered at the insinuation that her father wanted to take her to bed. My heart was full with an unknown ache for her now that I’d seen the way her father was. Here, but not as the man she needed him to be.

She shook her head and squeezed his hand back. "I have some errands to run. But you get some sleep, okay? I'll be here when you wake up."

"Will he be here?" he asked, his eyes bouncing toward me.

"We'll see."

He grunted a sound I couldn't decipher. But then he said, "Give him Kate's number before he goes back to the Jolly Roger. I’ve decided I like him."

She swallowed once and sniffled before nodding. "Okay, I’ll do that," she croaked, her voice hoarse.

"Doesn't he have that look she'd like?" he asked as he stood on unsteady legs.

Sheba ran off ahead of him, as if she knew where she was needed next.

"Yeah, he does," Kate agreed as she led him toward the hallway.

But before she could disappear from view, she glanced over her shoulder and smiled. I was certain that the whole damn world lit up from that smile alone. Then, she entered the hall adjacent to the living room, and I sat down to wait for her return.

In her absence, without the distraction of her father’s company, the paranoia rushed back in. I could envision myself from years ago, edging up stairs that had looked just like those, but … no, it wasn’t those though, were they? Places like this, they were built to be carbon copies of each other, and it was fucking with my weary head.

“Hey.”

I turned from my view of the staircase to see Kate coming into the living room. She was wearing an uncertain smile, like she didn’t know whether she should laugh or cry or both.

“He falls asleep ridiculously fast,” she said, rubbing her hands over the sweatpants she’d worn last night. “It’s, um … all the medications he’s on, you know. I don’t know that they really do anything, but his doctor says they do, so …”

I stood up, took her shoulders in my hands, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She deflated a bit beneath my touch, unwinding.

“Thank you for meeting him,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around my waist.

I held her, rested my chin on the top of her head, and replied, “Thank you for letting me.”

“I was worried about it,” she admitted. “He doesn’t always react well to new people. God, when I brought Angela in to help me out, he was so upset.”

“But he got used to her.”

“He did,” she agreed with a breath of relief. “I want him to get used to you too.”

She kissed my chest and breathed me in, then took a step back to wipe her eyes and swallow the rest of her tears.

“I hate crying,” she admitted. “It just gets in the way of the shit I need to do.”

“What do you need to do right now?”

“Well!” she exclaimed. “I have to throw in some laundry, get my stuff ready for tonight …”

She headed for the stairs, and I followed, feeling a certain kind of déjà vu.

“Tonight?” I asked, cautiously ascending, like I might run into a hologram of my former self.

It’s a different house. Stop it.

“I work tonight, duh,” she answered over her shoulder.

I stared at the lift and drop of her delicious ass and wished I were in a different frame of mind. I would’ve enjoyed the view a lot more.

“You’re going to work ?” I asked, hardly able to believe she’d think it was safe.

“Uh, yes. Why wouldn’t I work?”

She reached the landing, and there was a door on the right. It looked exactly like the one Nate and I had passed through. But this one was closed, and I had never been here before, dammit.

We headed farther down the hall, past a bathroom, and into a large bedroom with a bed way bigger than mine.

I huffed a self-deprecating laugh and dropped onto the mattress. “We slept in my tiny bed when you had this waiting for you?”

“Your bed isn’t tiny ,” she argued, shooting a teasing glance over her shoulder on her way to a closet on the other side of the room. “Mine’s just bigger.”

“Sure,” I grumbled. “And you’re not working tonight, by the way. Not until we figure this shit out.”

Kate didn’t like being told what to do, and she expressed as much by turning on her heel with her hands planted firmly on her hips. “Excuse me? I don’t have the freedom to not work, Revan.”

“Oh, but I do? I took off today because you’d asked me to.”

“Right, for one day. But the way you’re making it sound, you’re asking me to not work indefinitely until we know who the hell is following me this time. I can’t do that. I need the money; I need to work. End of discussion.”

She didn’t wait for me to reply before returning her attention to the closet, digging through what looked to be a sizable collection of skimpy outfits. Costumes.

I rubbed a spot of crinkled scar tissue on my forehead and huffed a begrudged sigh. She was right. I couldn’t ask her to stop working when there wasn’t an end in sight to the mystery at hand. We didn’t even have a name, for fuck’s sake. The cops had nothing to go off of. I needed a plan, I needed to be more proactive, and I needed to catch the fucker in the act. But until then, I couldn’t ask her to put her whole life on hold. It was unrealistic, no matter how unsafe.

“Then, I’ll tell Saul I’m off door duty,” I said in a low voice.

“And, what? You’re going to follow me around everywhere I go?” she asked, flipping through the hangers.

“Yes.”

“Oh, that won’t hurt business at all,” she said with a sarcastic snicker. “ You want a private lap dance? Sure, baby. Just ignore the broody, scary, hulking guy in the corner, watching your every move. Who is he? Oh, don’t worry, just my protective boyfr —“

I had gotten up from the bed so fast and stalked after her until the back of her head was pressed against my chest. My hands tight against her waist.

“ You are my business,” I said through gritted teeth, my voice coming out as a growl. “Your safety is my business. It’s literally what I’m paid to do.”

Her hands stilled on the hangers as her breath escalated, her pulse thrumming and her throat working with a hard swallow.

“I won’t get in the way of what you have to do to make your money. But I swear to you, I will know every move you make, everywhere you go, and I will not be more than a single fucking breath away. Because if you ever needed me and I wasn’t there? I wouldn’t ever forgive myself for that. Do you understand me? I would cease to fucking exist if something happened to you.”

Kate swallowed again, then turned her head to face me. Our eyes met, our lips a shred of breath away from touching.

"Okay," she whispered, and I closed the gap between her mouth and mine.

I lifted one hand to grasp her chin and jaw, maneuvering her head exactly where I needed to deepen the kiss, tongues intertwining. Her arm rose to wrap around the back of my neck, her body relaxing against my chest like clay, soft and malleable. With my other hand, I moved from her hip to slide beneath the waistband of her sweatpants, remembering she hadn't bothered to put on underwear, and a strangled groan scraped along my throat when my fingers moved lower and found her wet.

"So, tell me something," I murmured into her mouth as I moved one finger to just the edge of where her body pooled with the evidence of her need and desire.

She exhaled sharply, leaning her head back against my shoulder. "What?"

"How long have I done this to you?" I asked, moving that finger further upward, not quite touching where she wanted— needed —it most. "When did you start getting this wet just by being near me?"

That finger moved lower once again, slipping inside as I kissed her throat. A guttural moan was torn from her mouth, and it vibrated against my lips.

"Since … since the first day I-I met you," she answered, breathless, as she tightened around me. "I wanted you so much. I … I never stopped thinking about you … oh fuck …"

I thought about that night as I worked that finger in and out of her body, licking and sucking her throat as she writhed against me and my rock-hard erection, pressed to her back.

I thought about that first kiss. My first kiss. The one I'd later hold every single kiss up against, the one that had made every other pale in comparison.

I thought about the need I harbored for her and only her, a need that had only grown over the course of years. A need I’d thought I'd never be able to satisfy.

I thought about watching her walk away, how badly I'd wanted to reach out and ask for her number. To hold on for just a while longer, but I'd let her go to keep her safe from the situation I knew I'd put her in by simply knowing Nate.

And then I thought about the situation we were now in.

I was convinced there wasn't a safer place for her than with me, nestled against my heart. I was so fucking certain, and it was that drive and determination that brought me to my knees. Gripping her hips, turning her around, yanking those pants off until I could spread her legs and make a meal of her right in front of the closet that housed every one of the outfits she wore to strip for other men.

Maybe even the one who hunted her now.

But she was mine to protect … and only mine to devour.