Indigo Sky

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

As it turned out, Saul didn’t mind my demands to keep an eye on Kate. I’d go so far as to say the guy was glad for it, but far be it from him to crack a smile about anything.

So, I gave Indigo Sky her space to do what she did, but I made my presence known to her and no one else. I was in the front row when she worked the stage and the pole. When she was on the floor, giving lap dances and doling out drinks, I stood toward the back of the tables, not only watching her, but everyone else. The guys who grabbed her. The ones who called for her attention. The ones who watched, but did nothing at all.

And then the two times she gave a private dance, I stood outside the curtained door, my back to the wall. When the customers asked about my presence, she simply said it was club policy for security to watch the hallway. They accepted it, though I couldn’t say they seemed all that thrilled, and that made me wonder …

What would they try if I wasn’t there?

As it was, the first guy demanded another song he hadn’t paid for. Said she had half-assed the first one and he wanted a do-over. I was about to step in to intervene when she agreed to a short one.

When he left the room, the fucker smirked at me like he’d just gotten away with robbing a bank, and it took everything in my power not to wring his neck.

The second guy was less of an asshole, but more like me nine years ago.

His buddies had gotten him a private dance for his twenty-first birthday. Kate led him into the back room and closed the curtain without so much as a glance in my direction, and I manned the door with crossed arms pressed to my chest.

From outside, I listened as the kid encouraged Kate with awkward dirty talk.

“Oh, yeah, baby. That’s it. Do it how I like it.”

Then, “That ass is so hot.”

And, “Show Daddy what you can do.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing until he whined and groaned uncontrollably, which was followed immediately by an, “Oh God, I’m sorry.”

“It happens, hon,” Kate said sweetly. “It’s okay.”

“I’m such an idiot,” he said, the womanizer now gone, replaced by a little boy who was seemingly close to crying.

“No, you’re not. I promise.”

I smiled, remembering how I’d been that first time we met, but I wiped it clean from my face when the kid opened the curtain and hurried down the hall, red-faced and uncomfortable. Kate hadn’t emerged yet, and I peeked inside to find her putting her sequined bra back on.

I stepped inside and closed the curtain behind me.

“You sure you don’t wanna wait around to kiss him in the parking lot?” I teased, pressing my back to the wall to watch her get dressed.

Her eyes, full of mirth and nostalgia, met mine. “I told you, I only do that with the special ones.”

“Yeah? And how many special ones have there been?”

She slowly stepped toward me, her six-inch heels tapping along the tiled floor. “Just one.”

“Wow,” I said, as if impressed. “Must’ve been a really special guy then.”

Her hands slid over my chest and up to my shoulders as she nodded. “Pretty much my dream guy if I had to put a label on him.”

“Dream guy, huh?” I gripped her hips, my hands hugging her sides. “That’s pretty serious. Should I be worried?”

She shook her head, leaning in, her lips barely skating across mine. “Never.”

A strangled groan rumbled from my chest as she pressed one kiss, then another to my mouth. I inhaled deeply.

“You have to get back to work.”

She smiled. “So do you, Mr. Bodyguard.”

“Bodyguard,” I huffed, rolling my gaze toward the low-lit ceiling. “Come on. We’ll get back to this later.”

I kissed her once more, ensuring she would sense my imprint until I could have her in my arms again, and we put our love to the back of our minds.

As I watched her work from the bar, Scott slid a bottle of water my way. I thanked him and took a sip, never taking my stare away from Indigo Sky for long.

“It’s pretty bad, huh?”

“What?” I asked, not bothering to look his way.

“This thing going on with Indie. The stalker shit.”

I shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t really know how bad it is,” I admitted. “But the cops have been involved twice now, and we aren’t any closer to knowing who the fucker is …” My words trailed off as I considered an abrupt question.

Can you trust him?

I kept my gaze on Kate as she weaved between tables, beaming down at customers from atop her six-inch stilettos. Acting like it was any other Friday. But was she thinking the same thing?

Could we really trust anyone ?

We didn’t have a description of the person behind the torment. We didn’t know if it was someone close to us or someone who only knew her from afar. We knew nothing, and that only meant it could be anyone in this place. Even Scott.

Even Saul , my mind said as the man himself sauntered over to the bar to ask for a drink.

“How’s it going, Rev?” he asked as Scott set out to pour him a ginger ale.

“All right.”

He accepted the glass from Scott, then sat beside me, his attention pointing in the direction of the stage, where his wife was beginning to entertain the full house.

“Can I give you a word of advice?” he asked, his voice a murmur against the glass as he took a sip.

“Sure.”

He glanced at me, never taking his drink far from his lips. “Until you know what’s going on, be careful who you’re speaking to.”

The comment put me on edge, especially after the runaway train my thoughts had set off on moments earlier. My breath stuttered uneasily in my lungs as my glare hardened on Kate, her hand resting casually on a customer’s shoulder. It was all for appearances, it was a part of the act, but that guy could’ve been him .

“You gotta get her out of here,” Saul added, lowering his glass. “Wendy and I have been trying to convince her for years, but she never listens to us. She says she’d miss us too much, like she’d never see us again or something, but that was before she met you. You could talk her into it. She has someone outside of this place now, apart from her father.”

“I already tried,” I confessed. “She wouldn’t be here right now if it were up to me.”

Saul grunted an acknowledging sound as he slowly sipped at his ginger ale. “I believe you. But try again. Try harder . I’m not saying this place is all bad. I like it enough. But for her, it’s bad luck—you understand what I’m saying? It has been nothing but a series of unfortunate events and circumstances from day one for that girl, and it’s time she moves on before something truly horrible happens. And, Rev, between you and me, I have a really bad feeling that something is coming soon if she doesn’t get out now.”

***

I went back to Kate’s place that night without incident. She asked that I stay with her, and I wasn’t in any position to complain. We tiptoed through the door, up the stairs, and down the hall to her bedroom, once again passing that closed-off room that continued to irk me, no matter how much I knew it was ludicrous. I hoped that, sooner or later, the unease I felt would settle, and I’d finally accept that it was all one big, ridiculous coincidence. But until then, the memories of that day continued to haunt me in a way they hadn’t for years.

We took a quick shower together before climbing into bed, where I worshipped her body until God’s name was replaced in my mind with hers. Moments after, I reminded her of how much I loved her, how much she completed my life, how happy I was, despite everything, and she fell asleep to my voice and my hands stroking her vibrant hair.

I wished I could’ve slept with her. But insomnia was an asshole, and it had grabbed ahold of me in such a viselike grip that nothing I did could shake it free.

So, I left the bed to take a piss. Then, I quietly went downstairs to the kitchen, where I found a glass in one of the cabinets, and got myself a cold drink of water from a pitcher in the fridge. I did all of these things as my brain charged on with countless questions and anxieties and worries about what Saul had said.

Because what the fuck, man? What the hell could he have been alluding to—and why ? What did he know? Did he know anything, or was it just a … hunch?

I dropped into the living room armchair and scrubbed a hand over my hair, back and forth, the condensation from the cold glass dripping from my palm and onto my bare foot. The house was eerily quiet. My brain was screaming . I imagined my life just a few months ago, before starting work at Midnight Lotus. I hadn’t been happier, but everything had been easier, and I craved that now. A time when I hadn’t been terrified for the safety of my girlfriend, a woman I was certain was the love of my life.

You can’t think if you’re exhausted.

Yeah, I needed to try and rest. I blew out a weighted breath and stood from the chair. I glanced around the dark living room. Everything looked as normal as I knew it to be, blanketed in shadow, until the light from the lamppost hit something in the hallway. I sucked in a breath, my lungs stalled, and my heart stopped as the face of Angela came into view.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said.

She was dressed in a long robe that fluttered around her ankles as she came into the moonlight shining through the living room window.

“I heard someone moving around in the kitchen and came out to make sure it wasn’t Howard,” she explained with a kind smile. “I don’t trust him to not turn on the stove and forget.”

I nodded, feeling suddenly self-conscious without my eyepatch or shirt. I felt naked under the gaze of this woman I didn’t know, and although I didn’t sense anything overtly judgmental in her stare, I also wasn’t a mind reader.

“I didn’t mean to wake anyone up,” I replied sheepishly. “I just came down to get some water.”

She gestured toward the chair I had just been sitting in. “And sit alone in the dark?”

I huffed a humorless chuckle. “I just … have a lot on my mind.”

“Yeah, I can imagine you do,” she said with an understanding sigh. “Kate told me about the things going on.”

I narrowed my gaze at the older woman. The shadows and lack of light turned the lines on her face into valleys. She watched me, her stance loose and open, but she was sizing me up, too, I realized, as she tipped her head and lifted one side of her mouth in a gentle smile.

“You’re suspicious of everyone right now,” she guessed accurately.

“Don’t take it personally.”

“I don’t, and I expect it’ll take a while for you to trust me. But for what it’s worth, I promise you that I love Howard and his daughter. I care for them both very much. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt either of them.”

It was exactly what someone with ill intent would say, but I nodded anyway.

“I guess I’ll get back to bed now,” I said, turning toward the stairs to leave Angela in the living room.

“Okay,” she replied. “Good night, Rev.”

“Good n—"

“Oh! Before I forget, can you tell Kate that the auto repair shop called? I think her car might be ready.”

I looked at Angela from the foot of the staircase. “Yeah, sure.” Then, something made me twist my lips and ask, “What, um … what shop is it?”

“Oh, Roy’s. Their family has only ever used Roy’s.”

Never had my mouth dried up so quickly. Never had my heart sped up so fast or my palms grown so instantly clammy.

“Roy’s …”

“Yeah, it’s not too far from here.”

“I’m, uh …” I took a quick sip of water to try and moisten my throat. “I’m familiar with it. I’m just surprised. Aren’t there, um, closer mechanics?”

“Oh, there are, but Howard used to work there a long time ago.”

“Howard worked at Roy’s?”

Angela nodded. “Like I said, that was quite some time ago. Kate’s mother … well, she was a bit promiscuous, and around the time of their divorce, it came out that she had been involved with Roy. So, Howard left the business and found a better-paying job with the National Park Service. But …” She released a sharp exhale and laughed uneasily. “Sorry, I’m talking too much. I’ll let you get some sleep.”

She reached out with a cool hand and touched my wrist, then retreated quickly back down the hall, leaving me once again alone in the living room.

I couldn’t breathe.

I could hardly blink.

Howard—Kate’s father —had known Roy? Assuming we were talking about the same Roy who had once employed—then fired—me, which … it was. I knew it was without a shadow of a doubt. How could it be anyone else? I didn’t need confirmation. And that only meant …

Kate had known Roy, and he had slept with her mother.

Why would she do business there?

“Holy fuck,” I whispered to the living room, blanketed deep in darkness.

My hand began to shake against the banister. The glass of water became harder to hold onto. And the part of my brain I had tried to keep quiet finally broke its vow of silence and said, Open that fucking door upstairs .

A dread so sick and horrible tore through my gut. I didn’t want to go upstairs. I didn’t want to pass that door. I didn’t want to open it. I didn’t want to crawl back into bed and pretend I didn’t know what I felt I knew now.

Fuck . Why was this happening? Why did it have to happen at all?

“I need to know,” I muttered to myself. Then, before I had the chance to change my mind, I hurried up the stairs and opened the first door to my right.

It was dark, too dark to see. I flipped on the light, and …

That dread began to sink further, further, further toward the hell I belonged in as I took in the sight of white lace and Gilmore Girls posters.

“Oh no,” I breathed out, the glass of water slipping from my hand and clattering to the floor at my feet. “Oh fuck. Oh no, no, no !”

Kate was Kathleen McLaughlin. Indigo Sky was Kathleen McLaughlin. The woman I had fallen in love with. The girl who had rejected Nate. The girl he’d stolen the wallet from to break into her house—

“Fucking hell, Nate. You fucking asshole. Goddammit, you fucking asshole .”

Tears welled in my eye as I took a step deeper into the room. I raked my hands through my hair, clutching the strands between my fingers and holding them tight to the top of my head.

“Oh God, what am I going to do? What the hell am I going to—"

“Rev?”

My eye squeezed shut tight as my arms dropped back to my sides. The sound of her sweet voice, heavy with sleep and confusion, had, just hours ago, been the most welcoming sound I had ever heard. But now, it came to me as an arrow through the heart, piercing and twisting with a pain unlike anything I’d felt before.

“What are you doing in here?” she asked, her feet shuffling in behind me. “This is my old room … before I took Dad’s. Why …”

She moved slowly, cautiously.

I brought my gaze to the ceiling, my brain racing with pleas and questions and wishes that would never be granted or answered because that was not how shit worked. That was not how it could ever work. And all I could think about now was Nate.

Nate, Nate, Nate …

The asshole I could never shake.

The rusty nail in the coffin of every relationship I’d ever attempted to have. Including this one. Because how could I be with her? How could I risk her safety when she would never ever be safe as long as he was around?

And I knew now what I had to do.

“I need to go,” I said, forcing every hint of emotion out of my voice.

She was quiet for a second, then, “But it’s, like, five in the morning. Why don’t you come back to bed and—"

“I have to leave , Kate,” I snapped, spinning around to face her.

She was startled, and her brows pinched. “I don’t understand. Why are you mad? What did I say? Wha—"

“Your name is Kathleen McLaughlin.”

Her eyes looked to mine, then dropped as quickly, focusing her attention on my chest.

Because I’m a monster.

And I’ll always be a monster because I’m about to break your fucking heart.

“H-how do you—"

“You didn’t tell me.”

“I … I didn’t know I was … how do you know ?”

I took a step closer, looming over her in this room that was meant to be pure and sacred. But we had desecrated it— me ! I had done that. As an accomplice maybe, but it was me! And I had kissed those lips and laid claim to that body with my mouth and hands and—Jesus Christ, I had fucked her, and she never knew that I had been here!

“When you were twenty, your wallet was stolen,” I said, my voice low. Menacing.

Her mouth opened, then closed again as she took one step backward toward the door. Her hands were shaking. “How … how did you—"

“Later that day, someone broke in here. Someone stole from you. Your underwear. Your jewelry .”

I took a step closer, and she took another step back. She was afraid.

Good . She should be afraid. Of me, of the baggage I came with.

“You … you were—"

“Yes. Me .” The vile word singed against my tongue as I stared down at her trembling before me. Some men found power in this—intimidation—but I only found shame. I hated myself in this moment, but I couldn’t care about that.

A coalescence of anger and sadness watered in her eyes as she pressed her lips together and walked backward, away from me, until she tripped over the door threshold, stumbling back and into the hall. I resisted the urge to grab her hands, to steady her, as she grabbed the wall and righted herself.

“Why are you doing this to me?” she whispered.

I walked past her and down the hall to her bedroom, where I found my clothes. I bundled them in my arms, not caring to get dressed and only thinking about getting the fuck out of this house and far, far away from her. All I wanted was to keep her safe, but she couldn’t find that with me. Not until I was free of the chains hanging from my neck, forever tethered to my connection with Nate.

It was like I’d sold my soul to the fucking Devil.

I stuffed my feet into my shoes, grabbed my phone and keys, and headed back down the hall, where Kate remained against the wall. Watching me through eyes clouded by terror and not the love I’d known just hours ago.

My heart was breaking, but it was fine. I deserved it.

“Get out,” she gritted out, finding the strength in her voice.

“Don’t worry, Kate. I’m leaving.”

“Don’t you ever come back—do you understand me? Or I swear to God, Revan, I will call the cops.”

“Good,” I said, stopping on my journey down the stairs to look over my shoulder and nod with sincerity. “Call the cops. Watch your cameras. Delete my fucking number. Forget I even existed, Kate. Do you hear me? Forget me, and I will do everything in my power to make sure nothing happens to you again.” Emotion worked its way into my voice as I spoke.

When I saw that flicker of hope flash through her eyes, I turned around and hurried down the stairs, my belongings in my arms.

Behind me, she began to cry.

Before I could leave, I stared ahead at the door, not daring to look at her.

“I’m serious, Kate. Delete my number and forget my name. Forget any of this happened.”

She sobbed on a breath, and my feet demanded I go to her, hold her, kiss her, explain everything to her until she gave me her forgiveness.

But I ignored every one of those demands as she whispered in a broken voice, “But I loved you.”

I opened the door and swallowed against the lump rising in my throat. “Well, I’m sorry about that,” I replied as I left, closing the door behind me. And as I walked to my car, my untied boot laces slapping against the cobblestone walkway, I muttered, “I’m fuckin’ sorry about everything.”