Into the Fire (Flame in the Shadows Trilogy #1)

43. Mel

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

MEL

Pain is everywhere. It is everything.

It drenches the shadow that weighs thick on my mind, too heavy to move. Too dense to think through.

Sometimes, I catch a flash of something other than pain. Colors. Sounds. They’re gone before I can make sense of them.

Please , a beautiful voice filters down through miles and miles of black water. Please stay .

The words touch some deep part of me. Slowly, I come to realize how much they hurt. They drip with anguish. I don’t like it.

For the first time, I struggle, searching for myself. Where am I?

Mel!

The word draws me, a point of light in a sea of unyielding dark. I fight harder, shoving against the vast, empty veil.

Fiery torture crashes into me, and I shy away, back into the numbing dark.

Mel! The voice is thick. Warped. No! Stay with me! Fight, damn it!

A flicker runs through my essence. The voice … the voice is suffering .

I push again, feeling my way toward the haze of pain that hovers, shimmering, at the edge of the emptiness. Once more, torment slams into me.

I arch my back and scream as unimaginable agony rips through my stomach. I’m surrounded by blurred faces, and the pain is too much. Too much. I can’t think, I can’t be …

I float lazily in the dark, seeming to emerge, bit by bit, from a deep, still pool. Every part of me hurts, but the pain is dull now. Unfocused.

My eyelids flutter open.

I’m in my room in the caves, lying in my bed. A fire roars in the grate, gilding the space with a bright, cheery glow. My nightstand and desk lamps are on as well, adding their warm yellow shine.

Tommy’s sitting beside me, in a folding chair by the head of the bed. He’s wearing a clean hoodie, and the welt on his temple has been tended to. His red-rimmed eyes are shadowed deep purple. He’s holding one of my freezing, bandaged hands in both his own.

Sam’s curled up on the foot of the bed by my legs with his nose in a Tracie Tanner thriller, my casted shin raised on a stack of pillows beside him. Lisa sits in another chair by my feet, her glasses perched on her head and her face in her hands. Vik and Hunter pore over a stack of papers set between them on the floor, and?—

I audibly gasp.

Cait leans against the wall by the door, one tired eye trained on her boots. The other is swollen shut.

“Mel?” Tommy sounds like he just ate a mouthful of gravel. “Are you awake?”

Everyone’s attention snaps to me.

“Um. Yeah. We made it out?”

Tommy rolls his eyes, his smile soft. “No, we’re still being held hostage.”

I snort, then wince as pain radiates through my chest, my abdomen, my jaw, my cheeks. “But … how?”

“Cait. And Sam and Vik and Hunter.”

A vague, confused memory of their voices in a dark car flashes across my mind. I can’t believe they came after us. Especially Cait and Hunter.

“We did it,” I breathe, a tremendous, gleaming sort of pride filling my chest. “We saved all those people.”

And we made it out alive. I beam at the others, my joy expanding, overflowing my heart. We’re here. We’re alive. We’re together.

Tommy’s green-and-gold eyes are unbearably tender, his answering smile warm. “You did it.”

My attention is pulled to the foot of the bed as Sam swings his legs over the edge. Lisa pushes past him before he can stand. “Melanie Louisa O’Hanlon Snow, so help me, if you ever pull something like this again…”

I bite my lip, suddenly nervous. I might’ve accomplished the impossible, but I also disobeyed a direct order; stole keys, weapons, and a car; and caused five others to follow me into incredible danger. I put the security of the Resistance at risk.

I never imagined making it back to face the consequences of my actions.

Lisa knocks Tommy aside too and pulls me into an enormous hug. My ribs and stomach bark under their stiff bandages.

Shocked, I pat her back.

“I swear,” she says. “If you ever … oh my goodness, I never…”

My heart shines brighter, sending warmth all the way down to my numb toes. “I’m sorry, Lisa. I had to try.”

She pulls back, a teary smile on her face. “Indeed you did.”

Vik and Hunter crowd around her while Sam waits by my feet and Cait hovers several paces behind them. “Thank you,” I tell them all. Vik and Hunter both grin.

“You’ve got guts, Snow.” Hunter chuckles and shakes his head. “Sorry I gave you so much shit before.”

I purse my lips, still angry with him on Sam’s behalf, but he did help save my life tonight. So, I smile tightly. “Forgiven. But maybe try and be less of a dickwad in the future.”

Hunter snorts, eyes sparkling with humor. It changes his whole face, makes him ten times more handsome.

“I’m glad you made it out,” Vik adds, their smile warm too. “You’re a verifiable badass, Mel.”

I’m not sure if it’s the drugs I must be on, but I never thought I’d feel so cozy here. It reminds me of Christmas Eve at Grandma Snow’s, snuggled by the fire in her frosty backyard with Mom and Dad and a thermos of hot chocolate. I didn’t know my battered heart was still capable of this feeling.

After five long years adrift, I’m home.

“Thanks,” I mumble again.

Vik pats my uninjured knee. “We’ll visit later. Must be overwhelming to wake up to a crowd.”

I smile and nod as Hunter claps my shoulder, and the two of them exit, leaving Cait standing awkwardly in the middle of the room by herself.

My shining heart hardens.

“Mel…” She glances at Tommy, who’s watching us with a carefully neutral expression, before fixing her good eye back on me. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Oh, she’s definitely been crying. Her voice is rough, her face pink and blotchy.

“For what? Trying to get me executed? Or being horrible ever since I got here?”

“Both.”

I glare, my temper rising, blocking out the modicum of pity that struggles to take root in my hardened heart. “Noted.”

Cait fidgets, then glances at Tommy again before dipping her chin and following Hunter and Vik into the hall.

When the door clicks shut behind her, Sam finally steps forward. Unlike Vik and Hunter, he isn’t smiling. In fact, he’s glaring with such fury dread tingles up my spine.

I gulp. Wait for him to speak.

He doesn’t.

“Sam…”

“You left me behind.” Betrayal flashes in his eyes, and guilt swallows me whole.

“It was a death sentence. I was going there to die.”

“I’m supposed to have your back, Mel! We’re supposed to have each other’s backs.”

I bite my lip, keenly aware of the moisture building in his angry, hurt eyes.

“I had to find out from Cait what you were up to. Both of you.” He glances at Tommy, who winces. “You didn’t even say bye.”

“I’m sorry.” I mean it with every fiber of my being. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve given you the choice. I just … I never imagined I’d make it out, and I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. Especially you.”

“You will never do that to me again. We’re a team, right?”

“Right.”

I give him a tremulous smile, and he throws his arms around me, burying his face in my hair. “I thought I lost you.”

I hug him back as fiercely as my bandaged ribs and aching abdomen will allow. “Thank you for saving me.”

“You’re not welcome .” Sam sniffles, then pulls away. “But I’ll always save you.”

Tommy shakes his head, and I can tell he’s biting back a grin as he takes my hand again, his twine bracelet stained with splatters of?—

“The bracelet!” My eyes cut to his.

“Yeah. All this time. I can’t believe I never realized.”

“My mom gave it to you?”

“ My mom gave it to me. I think maybe your mom gave it to her, though. She asked me to keep it safe.”

With an abrupt return to her usual, snappy manner, Lisa asks, “What are you two gabbling about?”

Tommy and I stare at each other.

Lisa shakes her head. “Tommy, Evelyn gave you something before she died? And you never thought to tell me?”

Tommy looks down, cheeks tinged a shade darker. “I didn’t know it was important. But yes. She gave me this.” He holds up his wrist, showing off the ruined twine, and I shudder. Is that my blood?

Lisa goes absolutely still. “Of course . Wait here.”

I open my mouth to tell her I won’t be going anywhere for a while, but she’s already gone, sweeping purposefully from the room.

While we wait, Tommy and Sam fill me in on what happened after I blew up the truck. I don’t remember any of it. I gasp, again and again, as the story unfolds.

According to them, we did more than kill the pathogen. Because we uncovered who Mr. Edwards really is—Mara Levett—the Resistance will be able to track her every move. We’ll expose who her top Organization associates are, and from there, we’ll have access to new information. We might even find something we can use to deal the Organization a fatal blow down the line.

Once their story draws to a close, we speculate about what could be hidden in Tommy’s bracelet. A note, perhaps. Or a photo. Coordinates. A map.

My life has turned into a literal spy movie.

Finally, Lisa returns, a serrated blade in hand. A piece of ice slides into my stomach as she cuts the bracelet off Tommy’s wrist. I’m about to see Mom’s last message to the Resistance. Whatever it is, it was important enough to die for.

Slowly, carefully, Lisa unravels the weave. I watch with bated breath as something small falls out and clatters to the floor. Tommy snatches it up, holding it in his palm for us to see.

It’s a miniature computer chip, only about half an inch wide.

I gape.

Lisa takes it with trembling fingers. For a full five seconds, she does nothing but gawk, wide-eyed. Again she says, “Wait here,” and practically runs from the room.

Tommy and Sam meet my eyes, their gazes just as shocked as mine.

“No way,” Tommy whispers.

I can only stare.

It takes a while, but eventually, Lisa reenters the room, a laptop under her arm. “I’ve installed the chip,” she says, slightly breathless. “It appears to be a video message.”

Not the code.

My chest caves in, relief and disappointment thundering through me in equal measure. Those emotions are quickly stifled, though, when Lisa flips open the laptop and I see what’s on the screen.

Physical pain splinters through my chest.

Mom.

She looks just like I remember. Shoulder-length, white-blond hair sprinkled with gray frames her beautiful face—pale, like mine. Laugh lines fan from the corners of her ice-blue eyes, which are unusually grave. She’s wearing her favorite UNH hoodie, and appears to be in a public bathroom, of all places. No one else is in there with her, unless they’re lurking in the corners where the camera can’t see.

Grief twists my stomach, stretching up to block my throat and sting my eyes.

Lisa presses a button and the video starts to play.

Mom brushes the hair out of her face, tucking it behind an ear in a familiar gesture. I lean forward, aching to be close to her.

“Lis,” Mom says, her voice taut with stress. “I destroyed all copies of the code hidden in Sullivan’s house, including several microchips he stashed in the weirdest places. But…”

She wrings her hands. “I did what I could. Frank admitted to the existence of one final microchip he’d hidden elsewhere, just in case. I tried to get the location out of him. I’m horrified to say I used brutal methods, but it didn’t matter. The bastard killed himself before I was able to learn where it was. Stole my knife and slit his own throat.”

Mom’s shaking. Tears fill her eyes. “I never wanted to hurt anyone.”

She takes a moment to pull herself together, then says, “So, that’s the deal. Sullivan’s dead, and there’s still a microchip somewhere out there with the code on it. Oh, one more thing. There were a couple guards outside Frank’s house. I took one of them out, but the other got away. I have no reason to think he identified me, but I have a bad feeling. I’m scared. Please, if something happens to me and Max, please take care of Mel. Please tell her I love her, and I’m proud of her. And tell her I’m sorry.”

Grief burns my heart as Mom blinks back tears. Sniffles. “Love you.”

She reaches forward and the screen goes dark.

No one says anything. As the seconds drip by, my anguish slowly melts into a blank sort of numbness that reminds me of the void I almost succumbed to earlier.

Tommy takes my hand again, rubbing circles into my knuckles with his thumb. “Are you okay?”

No. I’m not. But…

“Mara knows.”

He frowns. “Mara knows what?”

“She knows this missing chip is out there. Think of how she acted, what she asked us.” I push the heels of my palms into my eyes, wishing I could block out the knowledge. “She didn’t ask anything about the Resistance. She only asked one question, over and over. Where is the chip?”

Tommy’s frown deepens. “She was probably talking about the other chips, you know, the copies of the code your mom destroyed. Even if she wasn’t, she doesn’t know where the lost one is any more than we do.”

Sam’s looking between us, a slight crease between his brows, while Lisa cries silently into her hands, her glasses perched on her head. I can’t tell whether she’s following our conversation or not.

I chew my lip. What should we do with this information now that we have it?

A great weariness drapes over my shoulders. I’m tired. I’m hurting. I want to lie in bed for days, preferably with Tommy holding me close. I want to eat. And eat, and eat. I want to laugh with Sam. I want to read a good book by the fire. I want to write. I want to go outside and run. I want to be safe and happy with the people I love.

But the missing chip is out there, just waiting for the wrong person to find it. The danger the pathogen posed pales in comparison.

I sigh. “We can’t risk the chip falling into the wrong hands. Someone has to find and destroy it, and I can think of no one better than me. Mara will hunt me to the ends of the earth after all this. I might as well finish what my mom started before the Organization catches up to me.”

Tommy sighs too, his shoulders slumping. He holds my gaze for a long moment, and there’s sorrow in his eyes. Acceptance. “You’re right.”

I give him a small, sad smile.

“Of course she’s right.” Lisa wipes her eyes on her sleeve, then replaces her glasses. “The Resistance will recover and destroy this lost chip. I will personally command the mission, and as soon as she’s back on her feet, Mel will lead the team on the ground. In the meantime, I will start digging around in Levett’s records for clues as to where it might be hidden. I knew Sullivan. Maybe I’ll uncover something helpful other people have missed.”

I nod and turn to my best friend. “Sam? You with me?”

“All the way.”

The corner of Lisa’s mouth twitches up. “Naturally. Sam, you have far exceeded all our expectations. I am sorry I didn’t give you the chance to do so sooner. Having a trained medic in the field will be a significant boon.”

Sam’s eyes shine, a disbelieving smile lighting his face. Pride blooms in my heart even as weariness soaks through my skin, down past my muscles to settle like a disease in my bones.

Lisa’s still talking. “As for the rest of your team?—”

I hold up a hand. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’m so tired. Do you think this can wait until morning?”

“Oh, it’s way past morning.” Lisa pulls herself to her feet. “It’s late afternoon, actually. You’ve been out for days.”

Days? “How many?”

“Three.”

Three. I frown dozily. “Mmkay. Tomorrow morning, then.”

“Very well. Tomorrow morning. Sleep tight, Mel.”

With a warm smile and a wave, she’s gone.

Sam squeezes my shoulder. “I’ll see you later, okay? Can’t wait to plan our next adventure.” He grimaces and I laugh, wincing again at the stabbing in my lungs and stomach. He drops a kiss on top of my head and hugs Tommy briefly. “Good night, you two.”

“’Night,” I say, at the same time Tommy says, “Thanks, Sam.”

The door clicks shut, and Tommy and I are on our own.

“Will you stay with me?” I tighten my hold on his fingers, and his eyes soften.

“If you want me to.”

“Yes.”

Barely shifting the mattress, Tommy slides under the covers. He wraps his arms gently around my shoulders, pulling me to his chest and resting his chin on my hair. I relax into him, my stress melting away.

The last thing I’m aware of as sleep takes me is his warmth. It sinks deep into my soul, where it glows bright like Grandma’s fire, driving out the cold and pain and fear.