Into the Fire (Flame in the Shadows Trilogy #1)

44. Mel

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

MEL

A faint, rhythmic noise drifts down through layers and layers of peaceful oblivion, settling in my mind like softly falling snow. The sound is dim, and yet it builds, pulling me up until I hover, curious, just below the surface.

Scratching. No, rubbing. No… definitely some kind of scratching.

I push aside the last of the fuzzy drowsiness, reaching automatically across the bed toward the sound. My arm knocks into something rectangular, with a hard, metallic spiral at its edge.

Intrigued, I open my eyes.

It’s Tommy’s sketchbook. He’s stretched out beside me, leaning against the headboard, the sketchbook propped against his knee and a pencil in his hand.

“Thank God. I was starting to think you’d gone comatose on me,” he teases. “It’s been almost a whole day since we saw your mom’s video. How are you feeling?”

I stretch. Dull soreness riddles my body. “Not awesome. But better than yesterday.”

Concern flashes behind Tommy’s eyes. Leaving his sketchbook on my nightstand, he scoots down next to me and brushes a strand of hair back from my face. “Are you hungry?”

Nausea churns in my stomach. Ugh.

“Definitely not.”

“Aaliyah said you might feel sick.”

He doesn’t elaborate, and I don’t say anything, either. The silence stretches, lengthening as we gaze into each other’s eyes. I love him, more deeply than I ever would’ve thought possible. And he loves me.

But I have things to do now. I’m not sure where that leaves us.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says. His eyes are sad. “You should hate me for what I did, for bailing when you needed me so much. Twice. And yet, you asked me to stay last night.” He gives me a tiny, bemused smile, then peers down at our entwined hands.

I see again how Tommy looked as I was interrogated, like he was burning in hell’s deepest pit, and I frown. “You think I should hate you? No. I understand why you did what you did. It hurt, and you shouldn’t have done it, but I don’t blame you for it. I know what you’ve been through.”

He’s shaking his head before I’m finished. “That’s not an excuse. I was a coward. I let fear cloud my judgment so badly that people died.”

He sighs, then goes on. “Taking matters into my own hands instead of figuring out a plan with you will always be one of the worst things I’ve ever done. But I also did nothing to save our parents, then hid that fact for months. After that, somehow, you still wanted to be with me. And what did I do? I ran out behind your back the second things got hard.”

He flips onto his back, folding his hands behind his head and staring at the ceiling. “I just… I wish I were a better man.”

A great swell of sorrow fills me. His words, the regret in his tone, the bleak tint to his eyes. Doesn’t he see how much I love him, exactly as he is? Mistakes and all.

I reach up to cup his cheek. Leaning his face into my palm, he closes his eyes.

“I mean, yeah, you should’ve told me sooner how you felt about what happened when our parents died, but I get why you didn’t. Even though it was hard, you told me in the end. When you bailed, you came back. You walked through hell itself with me. Can’t you see? You are a good man.”

Tommy glances my way from the corner of his eye. His mouth lifts a fraction. “You’re too nice. That’s the problem. You’re giving me way too much credit.”

I shake my head, pulling him around to face me. “Your mistakes aren’t what define you. It’s what you choose to do next that matters, and you always work to be better, to make things right. That’s what matters. I love you, Thomas Williams. You. Assery and all.”

With a tiny, shy smile, he takes my hand and traces little patterns over my palm, my wrist. Keeping his gaze fixed on these, he says, “So you’re off to save the world again. What’s the plan? Are you and Sam going to look for the chip?”

I huff a sigh. “As soon as I’m fit, yes. I figure we’ll have to wait until Lisa uncovers everything she can on Sullivan for official orders, but he lived and worked in Coral City. The chip must be there, somewhere.”

Ugh. California. I thought I escaped Coral City forever.

Tommy looks up, heartache and uncertainty all over his face. “Listen. I know I’ve been unreliable, and I understand why you might not want me to come with you. No pressure. But if you need another teammate, I’m here.”

My heart lifts as I trace Tommy’s knuckles, a smile playing on my bruised lips. I’m not sure how much control I’ll have over who’s on my team, but that’s a problem I’ll deal with later. If Tommy wants to join us, I’ll find a way to make it happen.

“Thomas Williams, will you come to California with me?”

Surprise and gratitude shine in those stunning eyes. “You want me to?”

“I always want you.” I cradle his face in my hands. “No matter what happens. No matter how long or short the time might be, I want you by my side. As long as you want to be there.”

“I’ll follow you anywhere, Mel.”

His eyes glow, soft and warm and oh-so-beautiful. Skimming his knuckles down my cheek, he gives me a sweet, gentle kiss.

Every fiber of my being glitters with radiant joy. Our future may be grim, but we will face it together. As long as we have each other, no shadow will be too dark.

I’ll follow him too. Right to the very end.