Into You Series: The Complete Collection

29. Saria

CHAPTER 29

SARIA

“ W ow. I mean, just, wow .” Jessi is taking a circle around my van, running her hand over Frankie’s new mint green surface. “It’s even better in person. And the insulation looks fantastic. I mean, I think…I don’t know what it’s supposed to look like.”

Charlotte’s muffled giggle sounds from the interior of the van. “It looks really pro, Saria!”

I smile before realizing she can’t see me. “Finally not freezing my toes off!” I yell down.

My feet dangle over the top of the roof, like they’ve done almost every day since I left. I’ve had morning coffees with just me and Mercury and late-night Moscow mules with Asher, all on top of Frankie’s roof.

Jessi crawls up the ladder at the rear, taking a seat next to me as Charlotte walks over to her own van parked directly beside mine, climbing to the top. I lie back, resting my head against my folded arms and looking up at the stars. Earlier, we erected a small canopy between our vans, attaching them at the top to form a makeshift campsite in Jessi’s back yard. She just recently got back from class, and we surprised her.

There’s silence, but it’s the type of silence between friends. I haven’t gone a day without texting Jessi, who eventually looped Charlotte in. I guess they’ve gotten close since I’ve been gone. I’m happy. Charlotte gives great van advice. Plus, she featured Frankie’s new coat of paint the day after I posted it, and I was able to get a couple brand deals to support my last month in Foxe Hill as well as pay for the insulation and other additions Tom saw fit to add.

“Have you talked to him?” Jessi asks. I don’t need to ask who.

“No,” I say with a forced laugh. “I will. I will.”

I’ve considered it. I’ve daydreamed about it. But I don’t want to bother Harry until I have my own life together.

“You should say hey,” Charlotte says.

“Yeah, what are you waiting for?” Jessi asks.

I sigh. “I’m not ready.”

I’ve told Jessi what it would take for me to see him again. I want to be at my absolute best when I ask him to forgive me because, if he turns me down, I need to know I did everything to put my best self forward. Any time before that and I’d always wonder what if. What if I’d done more, been more, grown up more?

I lived in Foxe Hill and parked in Tom’s back yard for two months. In that time, I started studying for the SAT again, trying to renew my scores to get into a good bachelor’s degree biology program. Asher would come over almost nightly to help me study. He wouldn’t say much, but he was great at quizzing me. He’s a quiet guy, not like Tom and his wife, who taught me how to square dance.

They treated me like I was some puppy lost in the woods, and once my van was taken apart and put back together with proper insulation and some tweaks, Tom made sure to kick my ass out of the nest and back to Atlanta.

I’ll always thank him for that.

“Hey, we’ve got your wedding to prep for,” Jessi calls over to Charlotte. “That’s enough love for me. Too much love, if you ask me.”

“Oh! Bouquets!” Charlotte squeals. “The bouquets just came in!”

Charlotte goes off about details of her wedding. She’s been doing that all afternoon. It’s hard to believe the wedding is so soon. It’s why I chose to come back now, except I don’t plan on leaving after. I immediately emailed Nia once I was back in town to end my leave. I proposed it to her before I left, and somehow she already had the paperwork ready for me to sign, like she knew I’d need it.

I guess she isn’t half bad.

When I got back to my apartment, I found that Tammy the subletter had been less than kind to it, but Mercury was happy enough to go flocking in and take back his perch. It’s fine with me. I’m a bit of a sucker for home improvement projects nowadays.

Charlotte and I haven’t spoken about her cold feet, though they seem much warmer now as she climbs down from her van to fetch a sample bouquet to show us. I wonder how Noah’s cool feet are faring, but I know that’s not my place.

“So, no Harry yet?” Jessi whispers to me after Charlotte leaves. “Honestly.”

“I fell in love,” I say. The words don’t sound sour on my tongue anymore. Asher and Tom worked it out of me after that first night, and since then it’s been like a breath of fresh air saying it out loud. “I loved him, and I ran away like I always do. But I’m trying to be better. For me.”

“I can get behind that,” she says. “But apologize. Please. You should.”

I sit there, unblinking, because she’s right. And it’s gonna hurt like hell. I’ve been putting it off each day, but I can’t delay any more.

“Okay,” I agree, then immediately try to bat away the thought of having to see him. I can’t linger on thinking about him for too long. It hurts too much. “So, I take the SAT again in two weeks, and I do not feel the least bit prepared.”

“If a high schooler can take it, you can,” Jessi snorts.

“Your vote of confidence is astounding.”

It’s nice to be home.