Jackson (MC Sinners #7)

11 – Jackson

“ F ind Hound and bring him to me,” I growl, standing in front of a group of ten men at the club. “I need that fucker, and I need that to happen as soon as possible.”

“We’ll find him.” Muff nods, crossing his arms. “Don’t worry about that.”

“I know people who can locate better than anyone you know,” Fynn, our new prospect nods. “Leave that with me.”

I nod, my fists tight by my sides. I’m fucking wild at Serenity. Her and her stubborn brain; she acts without thought and because of that, ends up causing chaos in a situation that we had under control. Part of me understands why she did what she did, but the other part is so fucking angry at her for not obeying a basic order.

Mostly, I just want to get home to my baby and put this shit to bed.

“I’m goin’ to see my daughter, call me with any updates.”

I turn, walking out.

As I reach the front gates, I see two police cars coming to a stop. Fuck me, this is exactly what I need right now. Gritting my teeth, I stand with my arms crossed and wait for them to come in. It’s late, which means they have a warrant or they wouldn’t be here. I haven’t had time to hide anything, but I know Muff is onto it. He has been expecting them.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” I mutter as four officers approach me.

“We have a warrant to search your property for Serenity.”

I wave a hand. “By all fuckin’ means, go for it. She ain’t here. I’ve been lookin’ for her too.”

An officer with greying hair steps forward. “Interesting you should say that when your club was the reason she escaped our custody again today.”

“I wasn’t there, so I wouldn’t know.”

He narrows his eyes at me, but I don’t flinch.

“We will find her, and when we do, she’ll go right back to prison.”

“If you find her, let me know, because if you were doin’ your job properly, you’d know that another person escaped with her, and that person has beef with my club.”

The officer’s lips form a straight line, as he ponders what I’m saying. “We are looking for the other fugitive.”

“Well, that fugitive ,” I grind out. “Has my woman. He’s using her to get to me. So go and search my club, and when you’re done, do your fuckin’ job properly and find him so I can get her back before she’s dead.”

The officers all look at one another, as if they’re not sure whether or not to believe my story. I can only fucking hope that once they don’t find her here that they’ll believe it and start hunting for Hound too. I plan on getting him first, and when I do, that fucker is going down.

Hound and I have issues that go far beyond this.

Issues I haven’t told Serenity about.

“We are beginning the search now.”

I wave a hand. “Do what you have to.”

The second they are inside and Muff is overseeing the search, I get out of there. I can’t risk having anyone follow me. I have planted a seed, now I can only wait and see if that seed grows enough for them to believe that Serenity didn’t escape on her own.

Found out that Xander survived, and he too told them that Hound ambushed him and Serenity when he was taking her to the medical center, forcing them to lead him out. Whether they believed it or not, I don’t know, but so far, all the stories are lining up, and that can only work in my favor.

Driving to Janine’s place, I pull up out front and get out of the truck, slamming the door. I told her I’m coming, because I wasn’t leaving without laying eyes on my baby girl. I fucking miss her, and I know Serenity does, too. It’s killing her slowly.

“Hey, Jacks.” Janine smiles, opening the door before I can even get to it.

“Janine,” I murmur. “Thanks for lettin’ me come so late.”

“Not a problem at all. I was about to put them to bed.”

Stepping inside, I see Max and Ava in the living area. My heart immediately softens when I lay eyes on my daughter, and I walk over, reaching down and pulling her up into my arms. She smells of fresh baby soap and lavender, and fuck, my heart aches.

“Missed you, baby girl,” I murmur, pressing my face into her chubby cheeks.

She babbles something and pulls at the chain around my neck. I hang onto her for as long as she’ll let me before she fusses. I release her enough for her to pull back and look at me, her fingers going to my beard as she offers me a huge, beautiful fucking smile.

She’s precious.

“Mommy will be home soon, I promise.”

“Is everything going okay?” Janine asks, lifting Max into her arms.

“It’s not goin’ how I’d hope, but I’ll get it sorted.”

She frowns. “That sucks. Is Serenity okay?”

“She’s good. We’re all good.”

Nodding, Janine doesn’t pry any further.

“Better get goin’,” I say, pulling Ava close once more before putting her back onto the ground with her toys. “Appreciate this.”

“It’s no problem at all. She is a such a good girl. I hope you can all get back soon.”

I smile, weak, but there, and then I turn and leave.

Need to get back.

Need to face the reality of the situation Serenity created, and hope like hell we can fix it.

“I DIDN’T THINK YOU were going to come back.”

Serenity’s soft voice comes from the darkness as I attempt to quietly kick off my boots. I didn’t want to get into this with her tonight, but I’m left with no option now, it would seem.

“Don’t want to get into it, Serenity,” I murmur into the darkness, pulling off my shirt.

“I know,” she answers, “but I need to talk to you about it, Jackson. I don’t want to sleep on a fight.”

“Need to sleep, we can talk tomorrow.”

I shove the covers back and slide into the bed. Her warmth immediately consumes me, and I know it’s killing her that I’m not curling myself around her and tucking her into me, but fuck, my mind is consuming me. It was fucking hard without her when she was in prison, and now we’ve gone two steps back with everything because she always makes decisions against what I tell her.

“Jackson, please,” she whispers.

“What do you want me to say to you?” I growl into the darkness. “I give you orders, not because I’m bein’ a dick but because I’m tryin’ to adhere to a fuckin’ plan and keep everyone safe. You continually choose to go against me.”

“It was a split-second decision ... I saw him, and I just knew I couldn’t let him get away.”

“We would have seen him.”

“No, you wouldn’t have, because he was with a group of women and was in a disguise. He would have walked right out of there.”

“So you make a call that could fuckin’ put everyone in danger?”

She sits up beside me. “I only put myself in danger, not anyone else. I have a right to fight for myself, Jackson. I was the one in prison, not you. Do you have any idea what that was like?”

“Do you have any fuckin’ idea what it was like sittin’ at home with our daughter wonderin’ if she was ever goin’ to see her mom again?”

The room falls silent.

“I made a mistake.”

“And I said we can talk about it tomorrow,” I snap, my chest tightening with a rage that has been building for months.

Everything with Spike, then Serenity getting locked away, now this. It’s fucking consuming me. I don’t want to take it out on her, I’m trying to stop her from pushing, but she’s refusing to listen. She won’t back down, and she’ll push until I explode.

“You’ve made your point,” I go on, my breathing ragged as I fight for calm. “Now I’m goin’ to go to sleep because if I don’t, this is goin’ to erupt and cause more problems than we already have.”

For a minute, just a minute, I think she might actually listen. We sit in silence, for the longest while, then unable to help herself, she goes on, “Excuse me if I don’t want to spend the next few months sitting out here while my daughter is growing up without me."

I lose it.

I can’t fucking take a second more of this pushing.

Sitting upright in bed, I bark, “Your daughter is growin’ up without you because you made a decision, and you continue to make those fuckin’ decisions without thinking about anyone else.”

“That’s unfair,” she cries, leaping out of the bed and flicking the light on. It takes my eyes a minute to adjust, and I see her standing, wearing only my shirt and a pair of panties, her hair a mess as it falls over her shoulders. “I would never willingly choose to be without her, and you know it. You fucking know it.”

“Did you think about her today when you fuckin’ drove that truck away, when you let yourself be seen in the streets, when you nearly got caught again?” I roar, shoving myself out of the bed and pulling on my jeans. I need to get out of here, because if I don’t, I’ll say something I don’t mean.

“You’re angry at me, I know you are,” she tries to calm her voice, “but, Jackson, I’m sorry. I am trying to tell you I made a mistake.”

“And I’m tryin’ to tell you to fuckin’ let it go, but you’re refusing to do that.”

“I’ll find Hound,” she says, her voice trailing off as she formulates yet another plan. “We can use me as bait. He wants to get hold of me. We can find him, and blame him, and fix all of this.”

“Nobody is bein’ used as bait.”

“Let me do something, Jackson!” She throws her hands up. “I feel helpless here, I can’t do it for much longer.”

“You’re not goin’ after Hound,” I grind out. “I won’t allow it.”

“He’ll come out for me.”

“I said no,” I hiss.

“But it’ll work, it will ...”

“It won’t fuckin’ work,” I bellow. “He’ll fuckin’ kill you on the spot.”

“He won’t.” She angrily shoves her hair off her shoulders. “He wants revenge for what happened to the club, and he’ll use me to get it. He won’t just kill me.”

“He fuckin’ will, I know he will.”

She shakes her head, confused. “How the hell could you know that?”

I’m done playing nice.

She poked the bear, now she’s going to get the full force of that choice.

“Because Hound doesn’t just want revenge for his club,” I thunder, my hands clenching by my sides. “He wants to fuckin’ make me suffer.”

“He wants to make us all suffer.”

Running my hands through my hair, I know it’s finally time I tell her. “He wants me in particular, because I did somethin’ a long time ago that he has never forgotten.”

Serenity shakes her head, confused. “What? You had dealings with my father’s club?”

I grit my teeth. “Once.”

Her eyes widen. “So ... all along you have lied to me?”

“I didn’t fuckin’ lie, Serenity, I just never told you. Hound has been in prison for a long time, and when I met you, he wasn’t who I was lookin’ to bring down.”

“All this time we have been together, you decided it would be a good idea to not tell me something like that?”

“We’re not turnin’ this around on me,” I bark.

“Oh, no, we are.”

“Serenity, I am done with this shit. Let it go.”

“ No ,” she screams, throwing her hands up. “No, Jackson, I won’t just let it go.”

“Okay,” Addison’s voice appears from behind me, and I spin to see her standing at the door, Cade by her side. “That’s enough. Dad, go somewhere else.”

“We’re having a conversation,” Serenity tells Addison, her voice less explosive now.

“No, you two are bickering like a couple of fucking children,” Addison snaps. “Now, you’re going to separate, because we aren’t going to listen to this the entire night. Dad, go.”

I stare at my daughter, look at Serenity once more, then I get the fuck out of there.

I can’t deal with this right now.