Kai Villalvazo’s Nemesis (The Kalon Tetralogy #1)

Chapter 37

CHAPTER 37

DECISIONS — SIDI ? LOSE MYSELF — SWIM

? YASMINA ?

I resisted the urge to shrink away as all the huge, scary men stared down at me at the table, gazing intently at me as though their wives weren’t present.

They were too mesmerised for my liking.

Kai slipped an arm around my waist and leaned forward to kiss my forehead, and just his clean, masculine scent calmed my nerves before they got out of hand. Him showing me affection in front of everyone truly warmed my insides.

We were currently having dinner, but I had no appetite whatsoever for the array of scrumptious seafood at the table. I was currently poking at my caramelised scallops while sipping on the sauvignon blanc that Kai had poured for me.

My skin crawled with all the cold, lustful gazes I met anytime I looked up. I just wanted to curl up in Kai’s arms and let him take me far away from these predators that looked to be seconds away from making a move.

“That’s one fine lady you’ve got on your side, Vazo.” A mature man whirled some whiskey in his glass, the gold ring on his index finger nearly blinding the fuck out of me.

“Of course. I hope you're also aware that there will be bloodshed if you keep staring at her,” he calmly announced, and most of them turned away from me in one swift motion.

Kai was the youngest among all of them, but he was clearly the biggest physically and exuded more dark, ominous power than everyone at the table. If it were someone from the outside looking in, they'd assume him to be the head of the table.

I couldn’t help but shoot daggers at a lady who was openly drooling over Kai.

I was this close to cutting a bitch.

“Is she the traitor’s daughter?” one man asked and all cutlery paused for a hot minute as the hairs on my back rose.

Traitor?

“You never got to tell me how that deal went, Giovanni. I'd love to know,” Kai’s boss, who I quickly learned was named Rico, spoke up, sipping some red wine in the process.

“It was excellent. We locked in five hundred million for it.” The man looked enthusiastic as he explained, and once everyone’s attention was diverted, I turned to Kai.

He exhaled deeply, probably knowing that I, too, had questions.

“What traitor? Is he confusing me with someone else?” Ever since we got here, things have been getting weirder by the minute. First of all, Kai’s surname isn’t his actual surname. Second of all, Rico kept referring to me as ‘the girl’, as though there was some sort of backstory about me in this place.

Third of all, Kai and his boss have some tension that could actually be cut by a knife. I suspected his boss was the one to abuse and scar him in the way that he addresses him in a condescending, cold manner. I didn't like the way they treated him at all.

And now, I was being labelled a traitor’s daughter.

“I'll explain after dinner, I promise. Don’t worry, nothing will happen to you when I'm here. I'll die before anyone hurts you,” he murmured, his gaze softening when he stared down at me.

My heart was in the process of melting and pooling at his feet. It was so hard to believe that this was the same Kai who had nearly killed me on multiple occasions and hated my guts.

But now, he was more like my saviour and protector.

"Yes, but the question is, will Vazo play the game?" Our attention returned to Rico and we realised that we had zoned out of the conversation at the table.

"What game?" he probed calmly, and Rico's eyes sparkled with malice.

"Our Bratva's history. If you fail to give a correct answer, then the person who asked you will have your woman for the night, if not, you die," he explained, his voice barely holding any emotion as his eyes landed on me.

Rico’s gaze was telling me that if he ever got a hold of me, he'd destroy me until I could hardly recognise myself. I met his gaze head on and his brow raised at the challenge.

I would never back down for shit. My father told me to look the devil in the eye and tell him to fuck right off.

"He'll play the game," I responded, and all the ladies at the table gasped. They had always been taught to submit and never speak out for themselves.

My father had taught me better than that. He taught me that I'd die on the inside before I ever got to live to my true potential. Following other people's commands meant sacrificing your own needs, and you only got one life.

Time was precious and irrecoverable.

Why live the only life you have for others? Why help others write the story of their life while yours remained unwritten? All these questions that my father had asked me four years ago remain my main moral compass.

I was well aware of Kai’s bewildered stare on me as I confidently watched the men at the table. I wouldn’t let them strip him of his masculinity, something they were clearly trying to do at this table.

His boss seriously had something against him.

“Great. Let’s commence. If you're shot, then your woman will be taken either way, so choose wisely.” Rico smiled before sipping on his whiskey.

No wonder Kai drank whiskey at the academy bar. Every male at this table was drinking it.

“I'll start, and I’ll pick Roberto. In what year was the Bratva established?” A man at the end of the table questioned and the man opposite him smiled.

“Nineteen eighty-two, thirty September.” He didn’t falter before turning his head. “Andrew, when was the first attack planned?”

“Sixteen November?” He looked uncertain and the grimaces on people’s faces said it all.

“Seventeen November. Pick a poison.” Andrew’s wife blanched in fear as she bowed her head low, probably on the brink of a breakdown.

“I won't let you fuck my wife—” He was cut short when a bullet cut through the atmosphere and his chair flew back as the blood splattered onto the walls and food.

I supressed a gasp of shock as I held Kai’s hand tightly, giving absolutely no room to let go. No one dared to make a sound except Andrew’s wife, who was now sobbing hysterically.

My heart clenched in pain, and my pulse raced as I realised that a man had been openly and fearlessly killed before his own wife. If they killed Kai, then I'd rather die along with him.

“Well, there goes dinner. Evans, you're my opponent. Who was the late Pakhan’s right hand man?”

“Adrian Villalvazo, the one and only.” I noticed Kai tense beside me and I internally wondered who he was. A father? A brother? An uncle?

“In memory of him, I’ll ask his son the next question. What was the last name of the late Pakhan’s sixth wife?” Everyone’s attention turned to Kai, and he had turned several shades pale. It was true; his surname was Villalvazo.

The mention of his father must have thrown him off balance because he looked completely aloof with so many emotions simmering beneath his cool exterior. Any normal person wouldn’t notice, but I could see him tapping his thumb on his knuckle, bouncing his leg eight times before responding.

I knew him enough to know that he was highly upset.

“Marcelo. Rico, your turn. Name all his ten wives, in chronological order,” he said through gritted teeth, glaring so harshly at him that I genuinely feared what he'd do to his boss. The tension was so thick at the table, no one dared to bat a lash.

It was a matter of life and death.

“Alivia, Ciara, Esmeralda, Venus, Willow, Tiana, Maya, Sienna, Flavia and Rita,” he said nonchalantly, the heat spiking in the room as they came face to face. “Who was the Pakhan’s favourite?”

“Sienna. Who died first?”

“Tiana. Who is currently thirty-five?”

“Rita. Who has four kids and where have they relocated?”

“Maya, and they're currently in the Netherlands. Who makes a cup with two shots of espresso and oat milk every Friday morning?”

“Alivia. Who usually spends her time researching on architecture at six in the morning and which application does she use the most?”

“Tiana, she loves using Spotify and making playlists for every mood. Who does Willow call every two weeks and give me a brief rundown of why?” His boss sat back with a stupid smile, challenging Kai and probably convinced that he wouldn’t get it.

They clearly kept a close eye on everyone and noticed any slight changes instantly. In simple terms, anyone who was affiliated with the Bratva didn’t have any privacy whatsoever.

There was a deathly silence as everyone stared at Kai, who barely had any tangible emotion. His heterochromatic eyes were hard and cold, his jaw was tightly locked in the process.

“She calls her nana every two weeks at 10:00 a.m. because that’s the only time she can reach her. Her nana is diagnosed with dementia, which usually takes a huge toll on her during the evenings. Her hallucinations can lead to violence, so that’s why Willow only visits her at the care centre about three times a month on a good day. Would you like to know about yourself as well?” Kai spoke with so much composure, I found it so attractive.

Rico was evidently stunned to silence as he stared at Kai intently, wondering how he knew all that information. He was already reddening as he switched his gaze to me, also wondering how I knew he would answer anything he’d ask, no matter how absurd.

Kai was my academic rival, and I knew his intelligence surpassed any limitations that society had established.

I had first noticed it in the way he remembered every little thing I said, like the one time I mentioned how my throat felt funny due to allergies in passing, and that night I found some lozenges in a little package by my door and my diet altered the next morning.

He rarely forgot things, and his brain definitely worked ten times faster than a normal one. I knew he wouldn’t let me down.

“Now, answer my question truthfully. Where is my mother and what have you done to her?” Kai’s voice was monotonous and so detached, I almost couldn’t recognise it.

His mother? I thought he said she was gone. This dinner was definitely one of the most epic I'd ever attended.

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, as if considering the question, then shook his head. “Take my bitch, I don’t need her. I'll survive a night without her, go crazy.” If it was possible, Kai looked several shades angrier and within seconds, he had his boss pinned to the bloody walls with a gun down his throat.

I knew Kai was aggressive, but seeing his lifeless, void eyes made everything so much scarier. He hardly looked like himself, as though a monster had overtaken him.

He was now choking Rico by pushing the gun further down his throat and squeezing his neck. I feared for Rico’s life and so did everyone else judging by the way four men struggled to tear Kai away.

He was just too abnormally strong, even for all the grown men combined.

When they finally succeeded, he was heaving deeply and giving Rico a deathly stare. Rico was coughing violently, blood dripping from his nose and mouth. He was slowly regaining colour, but his friends were helping him breathe.

“Killing me won't help you find your mother. You'll never know where I hid her,” he spat, choking for a few minutes before inhaling deeply. He was offered a glass of water, which he chugged down with a wince.

“Remember what I promised you, Rico. I meant every fucking word, so make up your mind before I make mine up.” His diabolical, rough voice cut through the air so cleanly, a chill travelled down my spine.

No one dared to utter a word, fearing Kai’s deadly state that radiated from him. I felt a vibration in my pocket, and it was a message from Kayden.

KAYDEN

Get out of there immediately. Kai is going to kill you

This time, I was frozen in place. Kill me? How was that possible? He loved me. He loved me, I could have sworn he did?—

An uncomfortable slither of fright filled my body as I looked up at Kai, silently wondering and hoping that it wasn’t true. His face looked absolutely murderous and capable of harming anyone in his way, it made me shiver uncomfortably.

I trusted Kayden, he knew best and he never missed.

Tears of hurt involuntarily welled up in my eyes as Kai spoke to his boss, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I guess I really was a traitor’s daughter if he was after my life.

Was everything all a lie? Was it all pretence? Is that why he never made eye contact with me during sex? Is that why he never told me that he loved me?

For the first time in my life, I was genuinely heartbroken and I felt so fucking stupid. We weren’t even together, but I had given him too many important and irrecoverable pieces of myself. And I'd never get them back. I didn’t even want them back.

A sob nearly escaped my lips, but I stealthily left the dining room and ran upstairs.

I was usually never this weak or timid, but something about Kai betraying me had completely caught me off-guard. I hadn’t prepared myself for this moment, nor did I ever imagine it in my worst nightmares.

I could hardly see anything as I hurriedly packed my belongings, my heart racing like never before as I prayed that he wouldn’t come upstairs.

I had to go, now.

The lump in my throat thickened as another sob threatened to come out, but I shoved it down, down, down. It's all my fucking fault. All my fault for making him play the game, all my fault for falling in love with him?—

I furiously wiped my tears away, hoping the ground would swallow me whole. I didn’t know why I even thought it was a good idea to come to Russia with him. I was far more sad than I would have been without him.

“What are you doing?” All the warmth left my body and I paled when I heard his familiar voice. I squeezed my eyes in a silent curse, and suddenly, I was so scared of him. I had trusted someone who wanted to kill me. And I thought they were just games.

Now that I thought about it, he must be after me because of my father. He was linked to his Mafia. That’s why they called me a traitor. They knew me, and they were going to use me to get revenge on my father for what he did.

And now it made perfect sense why he knew everything about everyone in the association. He had taken my dad’s code and unlocked the account.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I was so fucking stupid. My father was going to hate me, everyone was going to hate me.

How could he? I never should have. I never should have let him in. Why, oh why did I expose my body to him? Why did I let my stupid heart make foolish decisions like this?

“You stole my code, you son of a bitch.” My voice was venomous as I turned to glare at him, even though he couldn’t really see my face. His dark silhouette leaned in the doorway, and within seconds, it started moving towards me. “Stop! Stop, right there, or I’ll hurt you.”

The room was silent as I had flashbacks about our moments together, and my heart ached at the relentless thoughts.

“I hate you,” I whispered. And through blurry eyes, I noticed how his entire body tensed up at the remark. It was a different type of hate now, not the one we mutually had.

It was a deeper hatred for what he had done. He had betrayed me; the two-faced motherfucker had taken my heart just to stomp on it and leave me empty. Words couldn’t sum up how much the pain overwhelmed me; I wanted to die.

Despite what I said, he moved closer and stood before me, towering high before leaning down to wipe my stray tear with his thumb. I was quick with my movements and I dextrously pierced his shoulder with his switchblade.

Kai hardly flinched when I did so, and now I could see him clearly in the moonlight. His hand slowly went to where the blade was wedged, the sanguine liquid pouring out of the wound and onto his hand. I choked on a sob of disbelief, inching back as I realised what I had done.

I'm not a murderer. I swear it wasn’t on purpose. I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t—it's not my fault.

His eyes drifted back to my quivering self and they lingered, swirling with so many emotions. He was not saying anything and he looked so calm that it scared me more, making me wish I could disappear.

I attempted to reach for my phone, but Kai had already eaten up the distance between us and had his bloody hand wrapped around my throat.

“I knew it was a bad idea to bring you here,” he murmured, spreading his blood on my cheek as I shrunk away from him with no success. “Repeat your previous words. Look me in the eye while you say them, Yasmina.”

I hiccupped, sniffling as I tried to get out of his grip. This was a nightmare I wanted to wake up from. I didn’t want to be here anymore.

“Tell me you fucking hate me, Yasmina. Say it.” The strength in his voice amplified my anger and sadness, and I looked him in the eye with so much resentment.

“I hate you Kai, I hate you so much!” I screamed at him and he unexpectedly flinched. I expected him to grip my neck harder, to tell me I didn’t mean it, to force me to say I was lying, but he didn’t. He let me go and stepped away, his entire side now drenched in blood.

For the first time, Kai looked absolutely devastated, evident in the way his head bowed and his shoulders hunched. I wondered if he was disguising his tears, and I should have felt absolutely nothing for him. Not after what he did.

“I'd rather be hated by you than loved by someone else. I'd rather die for you than spend the rest of my life with someone else. That’s how deep my feelings run for you, Yasmina.” His voice was low as he finally looked up at me, his eyes a dark vacuum with absolutely nothing in them. If anything, he looked upset. “Pack. Leave. It's better that way.”

I was disoriented for a minute as his heartfelt words made my soul clench, but I wouldn’t be deceived again. It was all bullshit.

“So that’s it? After you lied to me and deceived me? You knew you were going to kill me, but you still led me on. I don’t feel anything for you anymore, not after betraying me. Why did you lure me like this? Why did you play with my feelings? Why?!” I screamed at him and even though he flinched again, he didn’t back away.

“All those times, you had the opportunity to kill me. You held me over a cliff, you threw me off a fucking balcony, you chopped a tree while I was in it, and you even threatened me with a poisonous snake. Why didn’t you do it? Death was going to be so much better than this.” My voice was broken but still loud enough for him to hear.

I hadn’t known how much I loved Kai until this moment.

“Answer me! Why didn’t you do it?” I exclaimed, but a gasp escaped my lips when I was suddenly backed against the wall with a hand around my throat again.

“Because I love you, Yasmina! Okay? I fucking love you so much that it has become my only purpose in life and the only thing that I do wholeheartedly.” Kai’s voice faded to a whisper as his head lowered, his body hunching slightly as though he had unloaded a burden that he had been carrying for ages.

I was stunned to silence as he finally looked up with glassy eyes, and my body trembled with both anger and sadness as we stared at each other for a long while. A part of me wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to?—

“No—”

“Yes, I mean it. Trust me, I tried to kill you, baby. I really did. I've attempted to do so many times, even while you slept, but I just couldn’t. Something about you disarmed me completely and I fucking hated you for it. You know those scars on my back? Yeah, I'm fucking abused daily in this place for just existing. I'm punished for not complying with the slightest thing. I'm locked up, I'm starved, I'm beaten up, electrocuted, chained, everything. Every goddamn inhumane punishment, I've experienced it.

“And guess what? You were my final assignment because your father killed the Pakhan and fled. If I completed this assignment, I would finally be delivered from the torture I've been going through since I was seven and find my mother. My inner child deserves that happiness, and the revenge that I'd take on everyone who inflicted any kind of pain on me. But if I failed, they were going to triple my punishment.

“I was going to eat once a month, they were going to hit me with hot chains, and eventually, I was going to die before I saw my mother. The mother they’ve kept me away from for two decades. The mother that I've been praying for everyday so God could keep her safe until I completed my assignment. The only family I have left who actually loves me.” His deep voice cracked and he inhaled deeply as I openly sobbed, unable to hold it in anymore.

“I'm wrong, and I know I shouldn’t have stolen the code, but I just wanted to find answers. I wanted to see the light because everyone here has kept me in the dark about why my childhood was so traumatic, and why I never got to be with my parents. Why I never got to be normal. Why I was abandoned at only seven. Why I never had a home. Why I'm tortured every day and why they make me believe I'm not meant for love. I wanted to know why they made me the monster that I am, and why I was always so fucking used.

“I was supposed to give them the code, but my love for you stopped me. That invisible force that tugged my tormented, lonely soul towards yours. It was a life and death situation, and for you, I chose the risk of death. I chose to finally see the light that your father has shed on everyone who ruined my life, and I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you in the process.

“Your father has saved my life, being with you has restored the dead parts of me that were never going to be resurrected.” His voice cracked as he spoke, and now I was crying uncontrollably.

“I chose you over myself, Yasmina. Over every goddamn thing I believed in. I chose you over my own mother. I chose you over my own fucking life, baby. I just wanted to know what it felt like to follow that strong feeling in your chest whenever you talked, smiled, and even kissed me. Was I wrong to do that? To follow my battered heart that led right to you? Say something.” It was the first time hearing Kai sound so vulnerable and I was choking on my sobs while he patiently wiped my tears away.

He was crying too, and it was such a rare sight that made my own heart crumble right at his feet. I had never imagined us standing here, or him making such confessions. I never thought he struggled this much and I couldn’t comprehend the fact that he had sacrificed everything for me. I didn’t realise how the codes had saved his life.

I wanted to rip my bleeding heart out and give it to him. I just wanted to give him a huge hug and tell him that we’d be okay and that he wouldn’t be abused like an animal anymore. I wanted to tell him I loved him with the same soul I refused to surrender to him on many occasions and that we would find his mother together.

I wanted to tell him that I'd always be there for him no matter what. But I could hardly find any words or say anything comprehensible. I was so gullible and I hated it. I hated the fact that I loved him so much that I wanted to let him in again.

“Stop, just stop.”

“Stop…what? Stop pouring my heart out to you? Stop loving you? Unfortunately, I'll never have any other name that’s not yours engraved in my heart, so you will have to kill me. And even then, I’m yours in our afterlife. I'm yours for an eternity, kücük tavsan .”

I could hardly breathe as I held Kai’s strong arm while he stroked my cheek gently, staring intently at me like I was the only thing in his world. Even as I ugly-cried uncontrollably.

“Finish me off if you truly hate me. You have every right to hate me. I don’t deserve to live after what I did to you. I was in pursuit of the truth and I wanted to get justice at your expense. I'd rest in peace if I took my last breath in your hands. I have no reason to live if you don’t want me anymore, and I’ll never find my mother. I've failed the only two people I love.” I gasped in horror when he easily pulled the blade from his shoulder then held it out to me.

“Do it, Yasmina. Stab me. Deliver me from this painful life for once and for all.” The sober look in his eyes scared me the most and I trembled as his blood dripped onto the floor from his wound. He was now paling rapidly and needed urgent medical attention.

I tossed the switchblade aside, crying hysterically as I wrapped my arms tightly around him. We dropped to our knees while we held each other, and his shaky breath made me feel horrible.

“I've always been so scared of telling you how I feel, but I can't keep it a secret anymore. I'm so in love with you that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I know that I'm a spider, like you said that other night. Scary, hideous, ruthless, and undeserving of your love. But I guess I wanted someone to love me as I am. I can't be a gentleman who treats you like a delicate flower, but I want to be your soulmate. I want to be the man that slays your demons and helps you sleep better at night, or makes you red velvet cupcakes when you're sad.”

“You are my soulmate.” It was nearly a whisper, but Kai never missed anything. I pulled away to look at him, and the genuine smile that he showcased made me lose my entire mind.

His perfect white teeth and defined canines made my thighs clench, and I thought he had the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

I gasped in surprise, which startled him and made it falter as he stared at me inquisitively. “Your smile is beautiful.”

“Don’t get used to it.” I laughed loudly, tiptoeing to cup his cheek and deepen the gaze. I couldn’t help it. He was just so perfect, it made me want to kiss and ride him all night long. God, I loved this man with every single fibre in me despite what he did. The reasons behind his unforgivable actions disarmed completely.

I hoped he'd heal his inner child someday and find his mother.

“I'm in love with you, too, Kai, so in love with you that you're all I ever think about to be happy. Being around you makes me feel alive, even when I'm on the edge of death. I get butterflies whenever we make out, and I can't see a future without you in it,” I susurrated softly, massaging the hair at the back of his head slowly while we maintained intense eye contact. His eyes blazed at the sound of his name, a reaction I'd kill to see again.

“I just want to be chosen for once in my life, to be loved for the first time in my twenty-three years of living. I want to know what it truly feels like to be loved by you, baby. Please choose me, too. Choose this, choose us,” he whispered, tilting my chin up as our breathing evened, syncing the more we looked into each other’s eyes.

I paused, taking longer than expected to consider it. It meant that I'd stick with him through thick and thin and surrender myself to him. It meant loving every broken, battered of him unconditionally and the thought alone mad me shiver. But I didn’t think twice, nor did I look back when I gave him my response.

“I've chosen you from the beginning, Kai. Believe it or not, it has always been you. I love you more than you'll ever imagine,” I whispered back. I wasn’t ready for the way Kai hugged me tightly, our bodies complementing each other perfectly. Our first mutual hug.

It was the first time he was hugging me.

I felt so safe with him, so comfortable and liberated. I know I shouldn’t have, but I was in too deep to be logical. A warmth unfurled in my gut as he breathed against my neck, holding me tighter and kissing my nape. He was getting colder, and I rushed to my feet to get the first aid kit and my phone to call an ambulance.

In the meantime, I dressed and bandaged his wound in the bathroom while he hardly flinched, staring intensely at me.

“You still have to work for my full forgiveness.” I levelled him with a firm stare and he nodded frantically, biting his bottom lip when I secured the bandage. The stab wound was a bit deep, and I was worried he would pass out. He was already pale, but still going strong. I felt so fucking bad that I hated myself for doing this to him.

It hurt even more as he stared at me with so much love in his eyes, a rare sight where his golden eye sparkled more.

“I'll do whatever it takes. Ask me to sacrifice myself, and I'll do it without a second thought. Anything to earn your love and trust, baby.”

I smiled slightly, but it faltered a little when I remembered just how incomplete and tortured he was. I cupped his cheek, giving him a reassuring stare that told him one thing.

“I'll save you, Kai, even if it costs me my own life, too. You're not alone now. We will find your mother, I promise.”