Knocked up by the Mountain Man (Silver Ridge Mountain Men)

8. Beau

8

BEAU

“ H ow are the horses doing?” I ask Carl as I find him standing by the stables with a concerned look on his face.

I’m not sure why the image of him not working causes my emotions to run wild, but I feel an intense anger burning up within me. An irritation that’s been with me ever since I opened my eyes this morning. Maybe even since yesterday. Ever since I saw her .

It has nothing to do with Carl really; it’s all aimed at Clara, who unfortunately isn’t here for me to target.

“Are they doing better? Do we have any information about what’s going on at the moment? Did the vet yesterday say anything about their conditions?”

“I don’t think so.” He shrugs one shoulder. “She did her checks, but I don’t know much else. I wish I had been here to talk to her. I want to know first hand.”

“Call her,” I reply through gritted teeth, my fists balled up by my sides. “Get her here now and speak to her.”

Carl’s eyes pop wide in surprise. “But I don’t think she is due to be here today, is she? Isn’t she settling in? Should I just call Wyatt?”

“It doesn’t matter what she’s doing.” I need her here today, whether she likes it or not. “We hired her as a specialist and we’re paying her to be that. The least she can do is come here and let us know what’s going on with Daisy and the others. Wyatt won’t have a clue.”

“Oh, okay.” Carl nods slowly. “Yeah, I’ll give her a call and get her here. See if she can give us some information.”

“Good, come get me as soon as she arrives. I want to have a word with her when she gets here too. I need to know more.”

I stare at Carl until he understands what I want and he goes off to make his call. I’m not messing around, I need Clara here right now . Ever since I laid eyes on her again, I haven’t been able to get her off my mind and it’s winding me up. A wave of relief washes over me as Carl finally gets the call going and I know that she’s on the way. But it’s not enough.

I need more from her.

But what?

That’s the real question. I can’t work out what the hell I want from her. I can’t ask for the girl I’ve missed all these years, because she’s long gone. The sweet, passionate girl I went to high school with and fell head over heels with is no more. Now there’s an aloof, bitter person who can’t even look me in the eyes properly, who calls me ‘Mr. Marshall’ and doesn’t answer any of my questions.

How dare she?

She’s the one who ghosted me, she’s the one who ran off to have a kid and marry someone else. I wanted her, I would have stayed with her forever. I was planning on a future with her. I didn’t want her to go... and I certainly didn’t want her to come back like this . This isn’t right either.

Having her so close to me but so out of reach doesn’t work for me.

Having her here just makes me realize how much I’ve missed her…

A tingling sensation runs up the back of my neck, making me aware of Clara’s arrival even before I turn to see her. It seems that nothing has changed in these last few years, I’m still acutely aware of her body at all times. She still has this annoying effect on me, which pisses me off even more. I don’t like it one bit. I almost don’t want to turn to see her but I can’t seem to stop myself. I don’t have any control of my body at all.

It seems like she does though.

“Hi, Clara.” Shit, now I sound all friendly. That wasn’t meant to be my attitude. Why the hell does she make me feel like such a mess? This woman has a husband . What the fuck? I can’t be all friendly with her when she’s married to someone else.

“What’s going on?” she snaps, not treating me the same way. “What’s the big emergency? Where’s Carl?”

Urgh, her tone fucks me up even more.

The fact that she just doesn’t even want to acknowledge me after I was accidentally friendly with her is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced with her before. It’s going to be a struggle to contain myself.

“We don’t know what’s going on with the horses,” I inform her, trying to be as cold and aloof as she’s being. “You came here and did your checks, have no answers yet. I think since we’re paying you so much, we should at least know what the hell is happening with the animals. Don’t you think?”

“Sure, that’s no problem. I am here for that, and I did give Wyatt some info on how to help Daisy yesterday…”

“Okay, well don’t worry about Wyatt,” I bite back. “Just tell me what’s going on. I deserve to know what it is.”

Unfortunately, she does exactly that. She starts talking and spilling out everything I’ve asked for, but some of her specialist technical language goes way over my head. It’s this kind of stuff that I really need to brush up on if I’m going to be in charge of the ranch. I know what I need to know… but I guess now I need to know more.

Then again, there’s no need for Clara to speak to me like this. She could easily break it down and explain it to me in simpler terms. This is just another way for her to piss me off and act all cold hearted towards me.

I could fucking scream.

But if I call her out on this, then she’ll know that I don’t know what I’m talking about and no way am I giving her that satisfaction. I need to save face, if we’re playing this game, whatever this game is, then I need to remain as stoic as I can. I have to.

“Right, well… that’s serious,” I snap once she’s finished talking. I hold my breath waiting for her to call me out, but she doesn’t. That’s something at least. “This is the sort of shit that we need to know. I mean, if we aren’t made aware of everything then what would happen if the animals died? Don’t you think that would be your responsibility as the vet?”

“I have other responsibilities as well,” she replies quietly. “I have to help my son get settled in here.”

“That isn’t what I’m paying you to do.”

That’s harsh and I can see her face crumble, but it’s too late for me to take it back now. I’ve said the words and there’s nothing I can do. But her son is a reminder of everything else she has in the world. Everything that isn’t me.

“So… let’s go and see the animals, shall we? Do you have time for that in your schedule?”

Fuck, I’m going over board, and it’s not right or fair to her, but then it’s not fair on me either. I’ve spent three fucking years missing her, but she doesn’t seem to give a shit about me.

Surely, she missed me too?

The relationship couldn’t have meant nothing to her. I can’t believe that, not when we risked so much. We could have gotten caught by Wyatt at any moment. I just need her to admit it. I can’t explain why I have to hear that; it doesn’t make any sense, but rationality isn’t my biggest priority at the moment.

I part my lips, about to argue some more, but before any words can come out, Carl arrives and silences me completely. I don’t need him to hear all about my personal problems; I want to make a good impression about the sort of boss I’ll be while running this ranch. I fall into an irritated silence instead, stewing in my misery. It rockets through my body and burns me up inside. I feel a bit like a tightly coiled spring about to erupt and explode.

“Ah, you must be the vet,” Carl says with ease. “Can we have a chat about what’s going on here?”

“Yes, absolutely.” She smiles sweetly at Carl. “I would love to go through it all with you. I’ll get a proper report written up for you all.”

Completely ignoring me, she walks over to the horses with Carl and begins talking with him. Since he’s been working here for much longer than me, mostly because he’s been alive a lot longer than I have, he knows more about what’s going on and can speak to her easily. But that doesn’t make me feel any better. Worse, if anything, and it’s all Clara’s fault.

She’s the center of my misery and that’s the end of it.

I was fine before she came back here, painfully okay. I was looking forward to the future actually, excited to see what was going to happen with me in charge of the ranch. Now I’m getting increasingly pissed off. I’m going to make her regret this, that much I know for sure. I’m not sure how, but I need to turn things around so that I’m the one in control, the one with all the power. Right now, she has it and I hate it. I can’t stand anyone who has the power other than me. I guess I’m more of a control freak than I realized.

I turn and stomp away because my male pride has been well and truly dented in. I head inside the house where Wyatt is sitting at the dining table, lazily drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. That pisses me off as well; he’s here when he’s supposed to be helping me. I’m starting to feel like I’m in the middle of nowhere, all alone, with no one who understands me. The worst thing is, I can’t even talk to my best friend about any of it because he’d kill me.

I could snap. I really could lose my mind, but I don’t.

Instead, I take a mug and grab a coffee for myself.

If I explode at everyone around me just because Clara is here, then I’ll end up with no one and I really don’t want that.

I have to keep my mouth clamped shut and not say a damn thing. If I can’t think of anything nice to say, then I have to say nothing.

And I really don’t have anything nice to say about Clara right now.

Nothing at all.