Knocked up by the Mountain Man (Silver Ridge Mountain Men)

9. Clara

9

CLARA

“ O h, Abby, are you sure?” I nearly burst into tears of relief as my friend offers herself up to babysit for a couple of hours. Not for long I hope, just to take Thomas to her house after her nursery hours so I can finish up on the ranch. I’m getting increasingly behind schedule by the minute and it’s feeling very stressful. The horses on this ranch need me, a lot. More than I realized at first. “You don’t mind? I won’t be long, I swear.”

“Hey, Thomas loves me and I love him as well,” she reassures me in her usual sweet tone of voice. “I’ll take him home and make him some dinner. I’ll make sure that he’s fine. You take as long as you need to. It’s no problem at all.”

I was just about to erupt from the sheer stress of being late to pick up Thomas from daycare, which I knew would upset Beau, and also potentially hurt Daniel because I wouldn’t be making him as proud as I would like. Thank goodness for my best friend who had just saved the day.

I should never have let Abby go; I really regret that now.

Luckily, she understands.

“You are such a super star,” I gush with gratitude. “I’ll let you know when I’m done here and I’ll be over.”

“Is everything... okay?” she asks me curiously. “How is everything going at the ranch? With you know who?”

She understands the situation with Beau better than anyone else in the world. I’ve explained it all and spent the last few days complaining about how he was picking on me, but her sympathy is still hard to swallow and I’m not sure why. I guess I just don’t like talking about Beau while I’m so close to him because I don’t want him to see me fall apart. The last thing I want is for him to know the effect he still has on me.

It’s pathetic, especially since he doesn’t know that Thomas is his son.

He might see me as a weakling who simply can’t get over our little fling. Thank God it was only ever that. I never would have wanted to be with him if I had known he was going to turn out like this. This nasty, bitter Beau is nothing like the young guy I had adored for my whole freaking childhood. If he has someone in his life now, then it’s his girlfriend I feel sorry for. She’s truly stuck with him .

Rather her than me , I think to myself bitterly. Thomas and I had a seriously lucky escape.

“It’s... okay,” I reply carefully so she won’t worry about me any more than she needs to. “I keep to myself.”

“At least it seems like the stable manager is nice enough to you. It’s good that you have him on your side to help out.”

That’s one good thing. Carl and the other stable hands are nice enough guys, but for some reason their approval isn’t enough. I hate myself for it, but I need Beau to accept that I’m not a useless person, that I can deal with things properly. I guess because way back when, I was the poor orphan girl who lived with her uncle and he was the cool wealthy guy who had everything. I need him to know that I’ve made something of myself.

Pathetic.

“Right, I better go,” I sigh to Abby. “I’ll get everything wrapped up fast and I’ll be at yours to get Thomas soon.”

“Yep, and don’t worry. We’re going to be fine. I’ll call you though if I need you for any reason at all.”

I hang up the phone and spend a moment rubbing my forehead because there’s an intense ache starting to settle in. My stomach is rumbling and painful as well; I haven’t had a chance to eat anything all day, but that’s not something I can deal with at the moment. I need to get all of my work for the day done first so I can go home peacefully without Beau’s snippy comments ringing in my ears, keeping me awake at night and upsetting me.

I get to work as quickly as I can.

I try my hardest not to rush through anything, especially the progress report since it keeps everyone else up to date and means I don’t need to have meetings with Beau trying to explain things to him. The less I have to see his face, the better as far as I’m concerned. The horses, I can cope with and I will happily deal with, just like the stable boys, but him... urgh, he sends a shudder tearing down my spine.

“Clara.” Eventually, a little while later, a voice makes me jump. Thankfully, it isn’t Beau because I really don’t want to see him right now. It’s the housekeeper, Tami, who also cooks when needed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I just wanted to offer you something to eat. You’ve been here all day and you haven’t stopped for a moment, you must be starving.” My stomach gives me away. “I have sandwiches and some pastries in the kitchen if you want.”

She points towards the house which sends a shudder down my spine. If I go in there, then I was potentially putting myself in the firing line for Beau. I wanted to avoid that as much as possible. I shake my head no.

“Oh sorry, I don’t want to force it.” Tami continues as her cheeks flame red. “But Beau’s insisting. He wants to talk.”

“Beau?” An ice cold sensation trickles down my spine. “He wants to talk? What about? Did he say anything to you?”

She shrugs helplessly. “Sorry, I don’t know what exactly. He just said that he needed a chat with you about work.”

Oh no.

So it was all a trick.

I’ve tried everything I can to avoid bumping in to Beau, just to have him insist that he wants to meet with me? There’s no way this will go down well. My stomach flip flops at the idea of it. But Tami looks freaked out like she might get it in the neck if I refuse and I don’t want that. No one else needs to deal with our shit.

Beau has obviously turned into his father , I think to myself sadly as I nod and follow Tami inside.

For him to have people be this anxious around him, he has to have become the person I never thought that he would. He’s a tyrant who upsets all those around him these days. What a crying shame. And to have someone else manipulate me into a meeting... it’s messed up for sure.

Just me and him?

Oh God, to make it even worse, none of the stable boys are in the kitchen to act as a buffer between me and Beau in case it gets all weird. I was holding on to the hope that Carl or Wyatt would be around, but no such luck. My heart sinks as soon as Tami shows me over to the plates of food before she makes herself scarce as well, leaving the two of us alone.

I grab a sandwich although I’m truly not sure if I can eat it now, and I try to stare Beau down, but unfortunately the intensity of his gaze really gets to me and I can’t help but look away first. I don’t stand a chance against him.

I guess I never did.

“So, you wanted a meeting with me?” I finally ask glumly with my eyes fixed firmly on the sandwich. “What’s going on?”

He doesn’t say anything at first.

It seems like he intentionally wants to make me as uncomfortable as humanly possible before he speaks. It’s starting to get to the point where I really can’t stand it and I feel like I should run before he explodes.

“I need you to come on a business trip with me. I’m buying some new animals and I want your opinion on them.”

I’m gob smacked, and go totally silent for a couple of minutes as I try to process his words. It really doesn’t make a scrap of sense; it’s not the telling off that I was bracing myself for, which makes it worse.

“Wh... what are you talking about?” I finally manage to stammer out. “A business trip? I can’t do that.”

“Oh, but you have to,” he insists. “I need you, I need an expert with me.”

Is he mocking me? I really can’t tell and it has me feeling very uneasy.

“I... I’ve been hired to work here ,” I just about manage to reply. “With the animals on this ranch. I haven’t been hired for anything else.”

“You’re the only person I can trust around animals. You’re the expert, right?”

Shit, he sees me; it’s like he really does see me.

All the shit he’s given me doesn’t seem to matter anymore because I’m glowing in the fact that Beau sees me as someone who is knowledgeable, someone who can do this. An expert … his words. I want to go through with it as well to prove him right, to thank him for putting so much faith in to me, but I can’t, can I? Life doesn’t work like that.

“I have a child, Beau,” I tell him coldly, a little annoyed now that he has no idea how to be a parent. I’ve been forced to learn and while I regret nothing, it’s still irritating to see him so carefree. “I can’t just up and leave him for a business trip.”

“It would be one day.” He shrugs like it’s nothing. “Wyatt has already said that he’ll take care of Thomas.”

I hesitate, processing this unexpected solution. “Wyatt said that?”

I know Wyatt wants to spend more time with Thomas, and I fully support that, but it doesn’t make any of this any less… weird.

“Yes, he understands the situation,” Beau replies smugly. “Look, I get that you have responsibilities. I’m not trying to make this hard on you. But this is important, and I really do need you. Just one day.”

His eyes bore into mine, a flicker of something almost vulnerable there, and I feel my resolve wavering. Despite everything, I want to believe in the possibility that maybe, just maybe, this trip could be a turning point… for both of us.

I guess I need to hold on to that if I’m going to get through this.

“Fine,” I finally say, my voice barely more than a whisper. “One day. But after that, no more surprises.”

“Deal,” he says, a small, almost relieved smile playing on his lips. “Thank you, Clara. I appreciate it.”

As I walk away, I can’t help but feel a mix of dread and anticipation. This trip could change everything, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. But for now, I have to focus on getting through it, for Thomas’s sake and my own.