Knocked up by the Mountain Man (Silver Ridge Mountain Men)

16. Beau

16

BEAU

W hat the hell is going on?

I can’t quite work it out. Every time I dart my eyes over to the passenger’s side of the car where Clara is sitting silently, she’s twisting her hands in her lap like she’s nervous being around me. I can tell there’s something. She definitely needs to tell me something, but what? How can I get her to start talking?

“Are we going anywhere in particular?” she suddenly asks while leaning on her elbow. She might be talking to me now, but she certainly isn’t looking my way. She could be talking to anyone in the world. “Or are you just driving?”

“Is there anywhere in particular that you want to go?” I sound stilted and weird. “Because I don’t mind either way.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

The cogs in my brain tick around, and it suddenly becomes obvious where we should go. The place where it all began, where we started all of this, the barn. Surely, when we’re there, everything will finally come spilling out at last. She’ll let her feelings fly free, and I’ll be able to do the same thing as well. Properly this time. That’s all I really need.

“Okay, no worries.” I shoot her a smile, “I know where to go.”

I spin the car around and head in the direction I need to go, a surge of happiness bolting through me as I go. Yes, this is good. I’m positive this will be the start of something amazing.

“Oh… the barn…”

I’m not sure how to feel as her lips turn down into a frown.

“Do you not want to be here?” I ask, confused.

“It’s just… weird being this close to everyone.”

I know by everyone she means Wyatt.

“Don’t worry about that,” I do my best to reassure her. “No one will come here this late in the evening. Not unless we give them a reason to. There aren’t any animals in here, haven’t been for years, so it’s fine.”

“Yeah… maybe.” She sucks in a sharp breath. “Okay, well shall we go inside? I haven’t been in there for years.”

“Sure,” I reply, cutting the engine and stepping out of the car. Clara follows, her movements slow and hesitant. The barn stands before us, a relic of our past, filled with memories both sweet and bitter. As I push open the creaky door, the familiar smell of hay and old wood hits me, bringing back a flood of emotions.

Clara steps inside, her eyes scanning the interior. The light filters through the gaps in the wooden walls, casting long shadows that dance across her face. She seems smaller here, vulnerable, and it tugs at something deep within me.

I’ve been back here a lot the last few years; the barn always makes me cling to the past, but it’s even more intense right now.

“There’s something amazing about this place, isn’t there?” Clara asks me wistfully as soon as she catches up with me. “I don’t know what it is, but it’s... it makes me feel happy. Like anything is possible. I guess it takes me back to being young.”

I don’t interrupt her thoughts as her eyes close. She really does look happy and at peace for a moment, which I realize is an expression I don’t see much on her face. When she’s working on the animals and completely absorbed in her work, maybe, but the rest of the time she looks like the weight of the world is pressing down on her. I wonder what’s weighing so heavily on her and if there’s any way I can remove it. I would do anything for her given half a chance.

“I think I still want the same things as I did last time I was here,” she suddenly declares. I try not to get too excited by the idea that she could be talking about me. “I wanted independence and freedom...”

And that’s why I shouldn’t let myself get carried away. This is about something completely separate from me.

“At the time, it was freedom from my uncle that I wanted. You remember him, right?” She rolls her eyes as if that’s enough of an explanation. I know how fucking dreadful he was to her. Well, I don’t know all of it, but I know enough. “But now, it’s from the life I’ve been living for the last few years. Not that it’s been bad or anything, but I want it all. I want to really feel free.”

I really want to know what she’s been through in the last few years, but I can tell this isn’t the time to ask. I think she just needs a moment to talk. Truth be told, I’m just glad she’s here with me. As she muses on this for a while, I flip through decisions in my mind. I’m not sure if this is the right time to ask her all the questions I have. I probably won’t get another opportunity like this, but there’s also the chance my questions might send her flying for the hills. We’re having such a good time together, I don’t want to ruin it. But at the same time, the desperate need to know is killing me. It’s crushing me, and tearing me apart.

“Why did your life go down a different path, Clara?” I ask the question gently, my heart pounding in my ears. “Why the hell did you run away?”

Clara’s eyes snap open, the serene expression on her face from moments ago replaced with a flash of something darker. For a moment, I regret my question, fearing I’ve shattered whatever peace she found here. But she doesn’t run. Instead, she takes a deep breath and looks me straight in the eye.

“I was scared.”

Wow, I wasn’t expecting her to be so honest so quickly. I thought it would take some time.

“You were scared? Why?”

Of love? Of me? Of her uncle? She hasn’t mentioned him since she’s been back, but that didn’t mean she hasn’t seen him. She looks away again, her nervous gaze fixed on the barn door as if she can’t face me. The silence stretches, making the air feel thick and heavy between us. I wait, my heart pounding, hoping she’ll find the words to tell me everything.

She takes another deep breath, then abruptly steps forward, closing the distance between us. Before I can process what’s happening, Clara grabs the collar of my shirt and pulls me in for a kiss. Her lips are urgent, desperate, and for a moment, I’m too stunned to respond. But then my instincts take over, and I kiss her back, my hands finding their way to her waist, pulling her closer.

The world fades away, leaving just the two of us and the intensity of the moment. Her hands move to my hair, tangling in the strands as she deepens the kiss. The tension that’s been building between us, fades and dissolves into this connection.