Knot Broken (Hiddenverse)

35. Lilah

CHAPTER 35

Lilah

My stomach twists painfully as the guys appear. Miles carries a small tray of gifts into the room and places it on a table. None of them look at me for more than a few seconds, and my palms start to sweat. My perfume leaks off of me in a sickly sweet nervous wave, and Tyler sniffs next to me, telling me it isn’t lost on him.

Smoothing my hand over my stomach, I inhale a slow, measured breath as I attempt to get my hormones under control. Was it only an hour ago that I came undone on a sink in the bathroom? It feels like eons ago.

Their voices are white noise to my racing thoughts. I can’t bring the words into focus as they call up Willow. Following quickly with Tyler and Chad. The sound cuts in and out. My head feels light. Spots appear in my vision. I’m suffocating. Then I’m falling. Blackness drags me down.

I blink open my eyes and somehow Elliott holds me, my head in his lap. Miles and Rafe hover nearby. And production’s a flurry of motion of getting the film, I guess. It’s all fuzzy .

“What—?” I don’t even know what I want to ask. “How—? Was I sleeping?”

“You fainted,” Elliott murmurs. His fingers soothe me as he brushes stray hair from my forehead. A soft purr rumbles from his chest. “Are you okay?”

I nod. I think I am. My chest still feels tight. But the gentle way he holds me and the concern on all three of their faces goes a long way to soothing the panic that grew like a monster inside of me.

My face is on fire, and I struggle to sit up, embarrassment burning through my veins. I seriously just fainted. On television. Will they put this in the show when they edit it?

“I’m sorry. It’s just hot. I’m fine.” Miles reaches for me, steadying me as I spring to my feet like a startled deer, muscles tense and ready to flee. If it weren’t for the cameras, I’d be hiding in a bathroom somewhere already. But that would just make it worse.

I move back to my spot, avoiding the remaining omegas’ eyes. Their judgment sears the side of my face as I look forward again. The guys quickly regain their marks, and I lift my chin high, attempting to squash the humiliation stirring inside of me.

Thomas counts the cameras in, and I hope my disgrace won’t end up splashed across TVs everywhere.

“Lilah,” Rafe says as Thomas’ voice fades.

On shaky legs, I cross the room. He waits for me to lift my eyes to his, and the pure emotion in their depths steals the breath I had regained moments ago.

“Will you stay? I promise it will all be worth it,” he says, his fingers clasping mine.

Unshed tears gather in my vision, and I blink them away. “Yes.”

An unsure smile plays on his lips, as if he isn’t quite sure my answer is yes. Then he reaches for a gift box and wraps my fingers around it.

I’m a sucker for him. Obviously. I saw him kiss Hailey. Or should I say kissing, because I don’t know who initiated it. And it had been like a gut punch. This doesn’t make it better, but I agreed to come on this show, and alphas on other seasons do so much more than kiss. Just the idea makes me feel sick all over again.

Taking the box fully, I paste on a smile for the cameras and then walk out of the room, so I don’t pass out again.

Chad’s there the second I’m out of the room. “Are you okay? I thought production was going to lose their minds, and then I heard you passed out?” his voice lifts in question at the end.

I press my lips together and duck my head, my fingers still tight around the gift. “Embarrassing.”

His mouth twists as he holds back a smirk. “Or calculating. Girl, that’s TV gold. There’s no way that isn’t making it on the show. It will come off as so romantic.”

“Romantic?” I lift my eyebrows and shake my head. “Hardly.”

He wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads me into the living area. Willow’s absent and Tyler’s lounging on a couch across the room from the one Chad leads us too.

“I think that you’ll be the last one standing,” Chad says as he settles next to me. “Runner up isn’t too shabby though.” He studies his fingernails, avoiding meeting my eyes.

I scoff out a half laugh, half disbelieving sound and roll my eyes. Even though my heart feels like it might burst at the idea. And I know that Miles and Elliott have said it. But what if Rafe’s not over Hailey? It’s all or nothing for me. I won’t be second best to anyone in my pack or relationship. Been there, done that, have the participation trophy to prove it .

“Why do you think that?” I ask, needing to hear his reasons.

He shrugs. “It makes sense. America’s sweetheart was always going to be the last one standing. I knew that. It helps that you have a connection with them none of the rest of us do.”

“That’s not true,” I say automatically, but I want it to be true. With every part of my soul, I want him to be right.

Hailey strolls into the room, looking smug, and all of the hope I had vanishes. They kept her again.

Shortly after the ceremony, Shelly came to tell us that the dates are individual ones this week. And we would be traveling to Europe. Italy, France, Spain. Places I’ve always wanted to go.

My date’s last, so I have a lot of free time for exploring. The charming little towns in Italy and amazing food have my soul. The beautiful beaches in Spain, some so relaxing I could soak up the sun all day. And France—the coffee and pastries on a random city sidewalk with the world moving on around me—can life be more perfect?

I attempt to ignore the descriptions of the individual dates, especially from Hailey. She really sells the idea that Rafe and his pack, as she puts it, are falling for her. It eats at that unsure part of me, and not seeing the guys makes it fester.

So much so that when Willow drops down next to me with a sigh, I can’t even fake a smile for her.

“They should send me home,” Willow groans.

I snort at her dramatics. It’s like she is taking lessons from Chad. “Why?”

“Because it’s clear I’m not here for them.” She watches the cameramen that always seem to be filming when she’s with me. She pitches her voice low and adds, “It must be the forbidden aspect, but that beta on camera three is sin walking. I could probably go my whole life without a knot if I had him to wake up to everyday.”

“Willow! You didn’t! Did you?” I say, letting her drama pull me out of mine.

She tucks her lip between her teeth, biting it softly. “I might have. A few times.” An inhale raises her chest, and she ducks her head. “We just have a lot of free time here.”

“Is that the excuse you’ve made for yourself?” I grin over at her, before adding, “At least you had your date already.” And there goes my thoughts, circling right back around to the three alphas I can’t get out of my head.

Her lips twist. “Do you know how hard it is to go on a date with three guys you aren’t remotely attracted to in front of one you are?” She sighs heavily again, before answering her own question. “It’s torture.”

“I know something about torture,” I say drily. This whole week has been a sort of torture.

She gives me her full attention. A soft smile pulls at her lips. “With your connection to the guys, I’m surprised the whole show hasn’t been called off.”

Her words aren’t the comfort she thinks they are. Especially with Hailey still in the mix. I went from certain she was here for the publicity to unsure if I was ever right about that assumption. Because since we’ve been traveling, she’s made it clear at every possible moment that she’s in love with Rafe.

It’s out of place compared to her behavior all along. Unless she just realized we were right and she is the villain of the season.

“With the contract they made us all sign, I’m sure that isn’t even possible.” A sigh falls from my lips, and I stand up.

“Don’t give up hope, Lilah. ”

I can’t answer. Giving her a tight smile, I smooth my hands over my jeans for something to do. “I’m going to go to that local cafe’, did you want to come?”

“Nah, I’m good here.” Her gaze travels to the guy behind the camera again, and I shake my head ruefully. If production picks up on that, they will send her home.

“Have fun.”