Lark Lake Lodge

Chapter Nineteen

Reunited and It Feels So Good

Staring out at the lake on Saturday morning, I realized I hadn’t taken nearly enough time to stop and smell the roses…or in this case, the soft mossy scent of the cool water lapping at my ankles as I dangled my feet off the dock. I escaped to sit by the lake behind the lodge while Harlan drove Shannon to the airport in Grand Rapids in hopes of letting nature still my jumbled mind.

Roger dozed by my side. He’d become my constant companion—unlike Ralph, whose attachment was solely to Harlan. Ralph didn’t join us at the dock. Instead, he remained at the house, mourning his master’s absence.

Shannon had given me a warm hug before she left. “Take good care of my dad, okay?” she’d said with a wink.

I spent the two hours he was gone trying to enjoy the gorgeous spring day, hoping to shake off my confusion over my future with Harlan and my worries about an unplanned pregnancy. Being concerned about conceiving felt odd. For most of my adult life, having a baby had been the most coveted thing. But when I’d actively sought to have a child, I had a house in the suburbs, a full-time job, health insurance, and a husband. Now I had a half-renovated lodge, zero money, and a guy who—while he was pretty terrific—I’d known for all of a month.

My worry cycle was interrupted by a couple of texts thanks to the miracle that was my new satellite internet. The first text from Rob. It was always off-putting to hear from him and this message was just downright strange.

I saw your parents at church. They were really nice.

It wasn’t strange that my parents were at church on a Saturday. They’d gone to four o’clock Mass on Saturdays my whole life. What was unexpected, was Rob being there.

You went to church?

With my folks. I had a nice chat with your mom.

Who was this guy? Why was he suddenly so upstanding? Why did he continuously send me little updates about what was going on at home? And why did he sound like a seventy-year-old woman?

None of it made sense. Before I could type an answer, another text appeared at the top of the screen. I tapped on it. The message was from Brian.

You’re coming tomorrow, right? We told Chloe you’d be here. She’s super excited.

Shit! I’d promised him I’d come for my niece’s birthday party. When I said yes, it was in the middle of my “Stahl’s Lodge” Harlan drama. Thanks to my on and off relationship launch with Harlan and the surprise visit by Shannon, I’d completely forgotten my promise.

I groaned as I typed my reply.

I’ll be there.

Harlan would be so disappointed. I felt awful for leaving in the middle of the rollout of Maisie and Harlan Sex Fest 2.0, but I didn’t have a choice. Standing up, I made my way along the dock and headed back to the house. Roger followed me step for step as I plodded along the cut-through, chewing my thumbnail. When I reached the kennel fence, my thumb dropped from my mouth as a mild epiphany stopped me in my tracks.

My leaving might be a blessing in disguise. I’d finally have a little breathing room from Harlan’s magnetic presence and get my head on straight. Not to mention, if I was gone, it would be easier to avoid sleeping with him and risking another broken condom. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted nothing more than to hop in the sack with him again, but it felt like playing with fire to do so without securing more reliable birth control. And if we’d somehow dodged a bullet the first time, why tempt fate?

It was a perfect plan. I’d head out of town, stay a few days, and come back ready to embrace our future together, whatever that might be. I was due for my period in a couple of days, so I’d have a sense by the time I got back if there was anything to really worry about.

As I walked up the side porch steps and into the kitchen, I heard Harlan’s truck pull up along the gravel drive. So did the dogs. Ralph perked up in the front room. His collar jingled as he ambled to the door. Roger looked up at me as if to say, He’s here! As much as I wanted to share his excitement, the thought of telling Harlan I was about to leave town sent made my stomach twist.

The truck’s door opened and shut. Harlan whistled as he trotted up the porch. He came in through the front and the whistling grew louder. He strolled into the kitchen with a grin, carrying two paper grocery bags. Roger and Ralph were at his side, ready to receive a pat on the head each. After greeting his good boys, Harlan walked past me, placed the bags on the counter, and started unpacking them.

“You know, I’m normally a wreck when I have to take Shannon to the airport. But I was really excited about our date, so it didn’t do as much of a number on me this time. I picked up some steaks and some wine. Oh, and I grabbed a couple of lobster tails too—didn’t know if you wanted surf or turf. Or we could do both if you’re hungry,” he babbled.

When I didn’t respond, he stopped what he was doing and turned around to face me. Grinning, he closed the gap between us. Powerful arms snaked around my waist and he was suddenly kissing me. I’d been preparing to give him the bad news of my trip home, but the words flew out of my head the moment our lips touched. His desire was obvious in the way he quickly slid his tongue into my mouth and how he held me flush against him. I couldn’t blame him, considering I was just as pent up after a week of “business partnership.” His kiss lit my pilot and I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting out a soft moan.

If we kept going like this, we’d skip dinner for sure and get right to the good stuff. But the idea of having sex made me nervous. After years of being convinced I was barren, it was a real paradigm shift to grasp the potential of my fertility. It felt like every time we did it, we were throwing matches at a crate of dynamite. And just because it hadn’t blown up yet, didn’t mean it wouldn’t.

Multi-tasking, I fretted over taking the risk while simultaneously melting in his arms—my fear winning out, insistent that I shouldn’t stay the night. I had to drive home before any sexy time could happen. He’d be grim about it. And to be fair, so would I. But it was for the best. When his head shifted and he started kissing my neck, I had to intervene.

“Harlan.”

“Mmm-hmm?”

“I have to go.”

He stiffened and his head popped up. “What? Go where? What are you talking about?”

“I feel awful about it, but I have to go home for my niece’s birthday party. I promised Brian last week and totally forgot. ”

“But you said you have to go, like you’re about to leave now. When is this party?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Oh. Okay. So, you’re leaving in the morning?”

“No. Tonight.”

“What the hell? It’s not like you’re driving to Florida.”

His frustration was justified. We were supposed to spend the evening eating, drinking, talking, and having world champion sex. To be honest, I was disappointed as well. But I had to get away. My head was a jumble and I needed to sort everything out.

“The party’s at noon and I haven’t gotten a gift yet. Plus, I should help my sister-in-law, Patty, cook and set everything up. I’d have to get up at the crack of dawn to make it there early enough.”

He let me go and leaned his backside against the counter, folding his arms and regarding me with an amused look. “I know what you’re doing.”

Ugh. Damn your observant ass. Why can’t you be oblivious like other guys?

“What am I doing, exactly?”

“You’re running. You’re a runner.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean? It surely didn’t sound like a compliment. In fact, it made me sound immature and irresponsible. But after quickly reflecting on how I typically handled difficult moments in relationships, his observation rang very true. In high school I quit marching band when a tuba player I’d been on a couple of dates with asked me to be his girlfriend. In college, when my boyfriend said he was worried that his mom didn’t like me, I wrote him a break-up note and changed my major. The moment I learned the truth about Rob, I’d bolted to my brother’s house. And when I thought Harlan had lied to me about Stahl’s Lodge, I was at the Firebrand in a matter of minutes .

How the hell did he do it? Harlan was so focused on me that he taught me things about myself I didn’t know. While his insights were much cheaper than therapy and could potentially keep me from sabotaging our relationship, I was a little unnerved to be with someone so omniscient.

Being the genius I am, I denied it. “I’m not running.”

“Oh yes you are. There’s something you don’t want to tell me. And it doesn’t take Hercule Poirot to figure out that it has something to do with sex. You’ve been really dodgy about going to bed with me. So, what gives? Was the sex bad? Are you afraid to tell me you didn’t like it?”

Of all the utterly ridiculous notions.

“No. Of course not. You know it was amazing. I’m not that good of an actor.”

“Well, that’s a relief. So, what then?”

The idea of telling him my silly hang-up soured my stomach. But Harlan wasn’t going to let up until I told him.

“It’s so dumb,” I said.

“Let me be the judge of that. Just tell me.” He leaned in and held my cheek in his hand.

“We may or may not have dodged a bullet last time. And I’m nervous about taking any chances. It’s just too risky.”

He dropped his hand from my face and stared. “That’s dumb.”

“I told you it was!”

He began unpacking the grocery bags again. Walking back and forth between the fridge and the bags, he was quietly focused on his task. Dollars to donuts, he was processing what I’d said. He turned and his blue-gray eyes locked on me as he stood holding the paper-wrapped steaks.

“You know I can’t exactly get you more pregnant?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes.”

“And if you’re not pregnant,” he said, placing the steaks in the fridge and turning around. “What’s your plan? Are we supposed to stay abstinent forever? I don’t want to be a selfish dick or anything, but that’s a bit of a deal-breaker for me.”

How did he do it? I’d worked myself up into a near panic attack about having sex with him and with just a few logical observations, everything I’d thought seemed ridiculous.

“Harlan, I don’t have a plan. That’s just it. This is all so confusing and I can’t get my head on straight when I’m around you.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re…you’re…”

“Brilliant? Devastatingly handsome? A dynamo in the sheets? What?”

“Stop,” I said, reluctantly chuckling.

“Maisie honey, I’m not going to let you convince yourself we have major problems.”

“But…I’m so…terrified,” I said, chewing my now non-existent thumbnail.

He crossed to me and pulled me into his arms. “Sweetheart, there’s a reason they’re called pregnancy scares . We’re gonna get through this just fine, so long as that crafty little brain of yours doesn’t work overtime and make you believe things are worse than they really are.”

He kissed my forehead and I wrapped my arms around his middle, pressing my face to his chest. What a blessing to have an actual partner. Instead of draining all of my strength, Harlan refilled it.

“How long until we can take a test?” he asked.

I looked up at him, feeling much calmer. “Less than a week. My period’s due on Tuesday or Wednesday. Tests are pretty accurate even a day after you miss your period. Some say they’re accurate a few days before, but I want to be sure.”

While I may have been out of practice in tracking ovulation, I was a pro at pregnancy tests. I’d probably taken a million and had gone through the anxious waiting game each time. Only this time I was praying for a negative result. Even though having a baby had been my tragic dream for ages, it just wasn’t the time. Harlan was definitely the right guy. It was just too soon.

“Okay, here’s the plan,” he said. He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back a bit, like a coach giving a pep talk before the big game. “We have dinner and then we have sweaty, life-altering sex. Then you drive over in the morning, throw some cash in a card, and go to the party. When you get back, we’ll have a couple of days to kill before we can take the test, and I’ll do my best to keep you distracted.” He finished with a sultry smile.

“Do you really think the best way to kill time before a pregnancy test is to do it for two days? Seems a little counterintuitive,” I said with a grin.

He laughed and then leaned in to give me a lingering kiss. “Let me tell you something. I’ve been celibate for six years, and yet this is the worst case of blue balls I’ve had in my life.” I giggled and he smiled. “I really don’t think it’s exaggerating to say that if I don’t fuck you tonight, I will literally die. And I think it will take a solid few days, maybe weeks, of doing you to get it out of my system. So yes, I think it’s really the best approach.”

It was, hands down, the sexiest thing a guy had ever said to me. The intensity of his want for me was an aphrodisiac. Sliding my arms around his neck, I set about putting him out of his misery. Our tongues clashed and we were more voracious and rougher than we’d ever been before.

Between kisses, he whispered, “Tell me you’re not hungry.”

When I shook my head, he instantly grabbed under my thighs and lifted me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he marched us to his bedroom. I hadn’t spent much time in his room and regardless of my best efforts to stay focused on the killer sex we were about to have, I couldn’t help but dream of redecorating. All the wood furniture—four poster bed, nightstands, dressers—was quality, hand-crafted stuff. But the blinds were a dud and every bit of fabric—comforter, rug, valances—was drab and lifeless. I could do so much with the space.

Harlan jolted me back into the moment when he pressed my back to his bedroom wall. His hungry mouth covered mine and his hands squeezed my ass as he ground his jean-clad hardness into me. This delicious intensity was a new side of him I hadn’t seen. It was tactile proof of the depth of his want he’d so eloquently shared in the kitchen. I fought to keep a giggle from escaping me when I noted we were, once again, working toward a wall bang. He must have really thought a lot about it after his conversation with Miguel. I tore my mouth away from his to ask about it without tipping my hand that I’d eavesdropped.

“Is this something you fantasize about? Taking me up against a wall?” My voice was huskier than I expected. This was about as far as I went in the dirty talk department. I’d never excelled at that sort of thing. My mind was usually too engaged in the act to be able to think of anything to say. But it seemed to be enough to make his eyes darken.

“You want to know what I fantasize about the most?” His voice was a low, sexy rumble as he let go of my thighs and placed me on the floor in front of him. I nodded.

He took the hem of my sweater and pulled it over my head, dropping it to the floor. He repeated the process with my T-shirt, jeans, bra, underwear, and socks until I was completely naked. The entire time my mind was racing, wondering what he’d do. In all of our deep conversations at his kitchen table, we’d never gotten into sexual fantasies. For all I knew, he could have some pretty offbeat kink that might not be my thing. But I trusted him and my curiosity won out over my fear.

He took my hand and led me to the bed and motioned to it, instructing me to climb up on it. I complied and sat up against the headboard waiting for further instructions. He walked to the end of the bed and stared. I began to get self-conscious, just sitting there naked as he watched me .

“So, what’s next?” I asked.

“This is it,” he said. Confused, my brow furrowed and lips pursed, drawing a laugh from him. “I envisioned you in my bed. Every time I stared for too long and every time I offered you the guest bed, I was picturing you here, waiting for me to touch you. Well, there was one other thing…”

Oh God, look at the lust in his eyes. “What?”

He seemed a little shy to ask, which was about the most adorable thing ever. “I imagined you touching yourself and looking at me while you did it.”

I’m on it!

It wasn’t a tall order, considering my entire body was already on fire for him. If my guy wanted a little show, I was glad to oblige. I gave him a saucy grin and my hands slid over my breasts, kneading them as I watched his eyes light up. My legs fell open as I focused on brushing my fingertips over my nipples. I lightly pinched and rolled them. My breath hitched and I let out a little moan. His jaw muscle twitched as he unzipped his hoodie, peeling it off and tossing it to the floor without ever taking his eyes off me.

While I’d begun acting out his wishes with a focus on giving him what he wanted, very quickly, the feel of my own searching hands mixed with the intensity of his gaze were a massive turn on. As he shed his T-shirt and jeans, one of my hands slid down over my belly and gently stroked over my mound. He licked his lips and his hand gripped the bedpost. He stood in his tented boxers, drinking me in as I let my fingers slide between my outer lips, up and down. I dipped a finger in my wetness and dragged it up to my clit stroking in slow circles and moaning at the tingly electricity there.

“Is this what you pictured?” I asked.

“So much better.” He ran a hand over the bulge in his underwear. “You’re so fucking sexy…a literal dream come true.”

His words fueled my mounting desire and I started to stroke in earnest. My breathing accelerated and as much as I wanted to let my eyes fall shut, I couldn’t take them off of Harlan. His hungry eyes made my heart pound as he gazed at me while sliding off his boxers. He took himself in hand and slowly rubbed up and down his length. I never would have thought that mutual masturbation could be so arousing, but then again, I’d never seen a guy with Harlan’s stare before.

Starting to feel the first flutters of my mounting orgasm, my head fell back and I let out a breathy sigh, which jolted Harlan into action. He climbed up on the bed and planted a desperate kiss on me. Batting my hand away, he took over stroking me. His feral kiss and sliding fingers had me back at the precipice in no time. Inexplicably he pulled his hand away and broke our kiss. A pitiful whine escaped me as I watched him reach over to the nightstand and pull a condom out of the drawer.

“Why did you stop? I was almost there,” I said.

He sat back on his heels, kneeling on the bed, and discarded the foil packaging on the floor. I watched, transfixed, as he slid the condom down over his cock. “I’m selfish. I want to feel you come while I’m inside you.”

Holy hell. Best answer ever.

He offered me a hand and I sat up. He wanted me to ride him as he sat in a kneeling position. I spent zero time hesitating over the fact that this would be a new experience for me. I was as hungry to have him inside me as he was. I stood up on the bed and planted my feet on either side of his thighs. I lowered myself, bracing my hands on his shoulders as he guided himself to my entrance. I slid down the length of him until I was fully seated. I’d been on top before but this was different, sitting higher up, like a filthy version of the penny horsey ride outside the supermarket.

Good God.

He filled me so completely and sitting in his lap with his arms tightly wrapped around me made me feel cherished. Pressing my chest flush to his, I clung to his neck and kissed him. Slowly, I ground into him and was rewarded with a growl against my lips. His hips came alive and he started to thrust up into me. It took us a moment to find our rhythm, but soon we were a well-oiled machine, sliding and crashing into one another while panting and moaning in sync.

One of his hands slid up to my breast to toy with my nipple. He kissed his way down my neck and with each kiss, leaned me back further and further, until my back hit the mattress. He shifted, lifting my legs up and draping them over his shoulders as he continued to thrust into me. I’d never felt so exposed, yet so safe. My palms slid up his arms and gripped his flexed, inked biceps. His eyes, dark with arousal, locked onto mine as his hand, blessed appendage that it was, slid down to stroke my sweet spot.

I was in pleasure overload. Never had I experienced so much stimulation at once. On top of all the various ways he was touching me, there were the added bonuses of how turned on he was and the mushy feelings I was developing for him. It didn’t hurt that our position made his cock hit a spot that felt strange and wonderful. I’d always thought the G-spot was a made-up thing. The mythical unicorn of the world of sex. But I was suddenly pretty sure I had one, and even more certain he was hitting it with every thrust.

My thighs started to shake. My skin felt tingly, like I had goosebumps all over. “Oh fuck. Oh Harlan,” I moaned.

“You like that?” he grunted.

“Sweet Jesus.”

I braced myself for the orgasm of a lifetime, and it did not disappoint. I yelped as I exploded. My back arched and my fingers dug into his muscular arms. Everything inside me was contracting with warm pulses of sheer bliss. I was so overwhelmed with sensation, I didn’t notice he’d stopped moving and was staring down at me .

My eyes cracked open and my heart nearly burst. His expression was part pride and part awe. The loving look he gave me was almost as much a gift as the stellar orgasm. I smiled as my breathing calmed. Shivers ran through me a few times, jerking my whole body with aftershocks. He brought his face down to mine and kissed me. My hands trailed up his arms, over his shoulders and neck to hold his face. There was no longer any question. I was in love with this man.

Without breaking our connection, he planted his hands on my thighs. His eyes went wild again. The animal was back. He began to thrust into me. A smile played on my lips as that beautiful tortured expression he got during sex made his eyes shut tightly and his brow pucker. His hands slid to my hips and he gripped me hard as he began to really go for it. He let out a few growly grunting sounds and then on one final thrust, froze in place with a moan. He panted and bit his lip before bliss spread across his beautiful face.

I was sure I’d have fingertip-sized bruises on my hips from how tightly he gripped me and I planned to wear them as a badge of honor. Never in my life had I made love with such physical and emotional intensity. It was as though he wanted to give me such an unforgettable experience before I left that I’d only think of him until I returned. His plan was a success. I wouldn’t be able to shake this night from my mind for a very long time.

We’d both been robbed of speech by the time we flopped down on the bed, lying on our sides, gazing at each other as our breathing returned to normal. It was a little embarrassing to realize after a near decade of married life, that I’d never truly been in love before. Staring at Harlan, with my heart still pounding, the adoration in his gaze made me dizzy and overheated. I’d never been with anyone who supported me the way he did, who cared about me the way he did or who stared at me the way he did .

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” he said, stroking my cheek and tucking my hair behind my ear. “I’m gonna make dinner. We’ll eat and then come right back here so we can do this all over again. I’m not letting you leave tonight.”

I smiled at him. “My body has turned to jelly. I don’t think I’m physically capable of leaving tonight.”

“Good.” He smiled and rose from the bed, slipping on his boxers and heading to the kitchen.