Lark Lake Lodge

Chapter Twenty

Revelry and Revelation

My sister-in-law, Patty, handed me a veggie tray, which I carried to the table in the dining room. I placed it next to all the other plates of food she’d prepared. Chloe insisted on cheese pizza and finger foods for her party. And since Patty was one of those superwoman-cook-from-scratch types, of course she made the pizzas herself rather than saving the hassle and picking up a stack of hot-and-readys.

I can’t fault her for it. If I had a kid…oh God.

Every time I thought about the pending test and results, I got queasy. More than likely it was worry stomach, but of course my “crafty brain,” as Harlan called it, convinced me that I was suffering morning sickness. A fresh wave of nausea hit me as I placed the veggies on the table.

Thankfully, this would be a family party. I probably would’ve had a panic attack if the house had been full of six-year-olds. Chloe and Katie came barreling down the stairs in their new dresses. Regardless of Katie being two years younger than Chloe, Patty often dressed them like twins and today was no different. They both wore little blue gingham pinafores with white blouses underneath, just like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz —their favorite movie. Their blonde hair was neatly French braided, and I was surprised to see Chloe’s smile was missing a tooth on top. She’d lost it since I left.

“Look at you, Miss Chloe! You lost a tooth!” I said as I knelt down to give her a hug.

“I did! I got five dollars from the tooth fairy!”

I looked up at Patty who rolled her eyes and tilted her head in the direction of my brother. “The tooth fairy said Chloe should get a lot for her first tooth.”

“Well, you look cool, Chloe. Like you got in a bar fight,” I said.

Brian gave me a look. “Nice, Maze. Real nice. She’s six.”

“Hey, I’m the cool divorcee aunt, remember? I’ve got to throw something semi-edgy out there every now and then.”

Patty’s laugh was cut short by the doorbell. The girls ran to answer in their red sequined Mary Janes. These little cuties were perfection, as were the decorations and the food. If I didn’t love Patty so much, I’d despise her. Did the woman ever sleep?

My mom and dad breezed in and made a big fuss over the girls. They had returned from their winter condo in Arizona a couple of weeks prior and Brian admitted that they were already driving him crazy. They obsessed over the grandchildren and were ever-present. I could tell from Brian’s tepid greeting that he wasn’t overjoyed to get more quality time. So, I gave him a wink to let him know I was ready to run interference.

Boy did I have a bunch of crazy shit for them to obsess over! I was sure to get my parents’ attention considering my winning streak of childlessness, followed by divorce, was now followed by a torrid affair with a dog breeder who may or may not have knocked me up. It was a worry fest and Mom, for sure, would latch on. Not that I would tell them the possible pregnancy thing…or even the hot neighbor thing. Just the ups and downs of the renovation were enough to give Brian a breather.

I hugged and kissed Mom and Dad as other guests began to arrive. Brian and Patty’s parent friends came. Two couples brought a kid a piece, bringing the total to four.

Four kids is manageable. I can handle that.

Everybody settled into the living room. The adults chatted and enjoyed a beer or a glass of wine, while the four kids disappeared upstairs in the girls’ bedroom.

When the doorbell rang again, I was closest to door. After I pulled it open, my jaw fell to the floor. Had I had some sort of mental break? Certainly, this couldn’t be real. Rob stood on the porch grinning at me.

What in the holy hell is this?

The bastard just breezed up to Brian’s like nothing ever happened. Like everything was cool and he hadn’t gaslit and controlled me for the better part of a decade. I marched toward him, pushed him back onto the porch, and closed the door behind me. Before I could lay into him, I was arrested by how strange it was to actually see him again.

Holding a gift wrapped in sparkly pink paper, he wore a spring jacket over a light blue button-down shirt and khakis. The shirt was tucked in and the pants were belted. Everything was perfectly pressed and his grooming was, as always, flawless. Suddenly, all that perfection seemed fussy and self-centered. I’d grown accustomed to Harlan’s flannel and denim, his constantly untucked shirts, and the musky smell of him after a long day sanding floors or cleaning the kennels.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Your mom invited me when I saw her at church. She said it felt strange to have a family party and not have me there.”

My own mother. Wow.

“It’s not strange. What’s strange is you actually showing up. ”

“Come on, Maze. I missed you. I wanted to see you. Haven’t you missed me just a little?”

He made the face. The one that always used to work when I was annoyed with him. It was a combination of boyish innocence and a sinful smile. Instead of having its intended effect, it added to my nausea.

“No, Rob. I haven’t missed you. We’re divorced, remember? I divorced you because you’re a deceitful piece of shit.”

His shoulders dropped and he let out a deep exhale. “I know I am.”

Holy shit.

Never had this man ever admitted fault. In our marriage, I’d apologized ten thousand times and he never had even once. His admission of guilt was shocking and a little too late. Nevertheless, he continued.

“Maisie, I was so wrong. I know that now. After we split, I was having some major emotional problems, so I started seeing someone.”

“A nice rebound to drown your sorrows with?”

“No, not dating someone. I started seeing a therapist. He’s been helping me to understand why I acted the way I did. But more importantly, he’s making me process how much I hurt you and the repercussions of my selfish actions. I was hoping to see you to tell you how sorry I am.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

“I don’t expect anything. I don’t deserve anything. I just wanted you to know.”

For the first time since I’d met him, he sounded like a real, bona fide adult. I really wanted to believe what he said. I wanted him to be on a better path and for us to be able to have some kind of closure. But I’d been so badly burned by his lies, I couldn’t completely buy it.

Before I could think of anything to say, the door opened. Brian stood there with a similarly shocked look on his face as I’d worn minutes before.

“Oh! Hey Rob. I didn’t know you were coming.”

My brother was the consummate diplomat. What he meant to say was that Rob wasn’t invited, but he couldn’t bring himself to be that pointed.

“Mom invited him,” I said as I marched past Brian into the house.

The rest of the party was a blur. Rob stayed until the end, chatted joyfully with my mom, dirty traitor that she was. My parents grilled me about the lodge. As I told them about all of the updates I’d made and that I planned to make, I noticed that Rob looked on with fascination and something in his eyes that looked like pride.

It was hard to watch my nieces with him. He was their “Uncle Rob” and they’d missed him. One thing I had to give him: he was playful and attentive with other people’s kids. The girls adored him and Chloe was overjoyed that he’d come to her party.

As the day wound down, Brian and Patty’s friends left first, followed by my parents. After saying his thanks to my brother and sister-in-law, Rob was ready to go and begged me to walk him to his car. I refused a couple of times before he finally wore me down.

We stood by his SUV and I could tell he was really nervous. “I…I realized something during therapy that you probably don’t want to hear,” he said.

Oh terrific.

“Then, maybe don’t say it?”

“I have to, Maze. I have to.”

Oh God. Here it comes.

“I’m still in love with you.”

“ Nope ! ”

I marched back up the driveway to the porch and he followed. He grabbed my hand and spun me around, having the good sense to let me go right away. Otherwise, I would have kicked him in the balls.

Of all the fucking nerve! How dare he rip my life to shreds and then expect that an apology and an admission of his true feelings would make me melt into his arms? It was arrogant and outrageous.

“You’ve lost your damn mind,” I said.

“You’re right! I have! Maisie, please. Just listen to me.”

“No, Rob. There’s no point.”

“Do you really hate me that much?” His eyes were tragic. I pitied him in that moment. My throat tightened at the thought he actually believed he had a chance after all he’d done to me.

“Look, it’s just…”

I dreaded trying to put my intense dislike for him into words that wouldn’t crush him. As much as I wanted to tell him that he was the villain in my life’s story, I didn’t have the heart to kick the guy when he was clearly down. It was then I realized that all I had to do was tell the truth.

“I’m with someone,” I said.

Apparently, choosing to tell him about Harlan was worse than telling him off. His face fell and his eyes welled up.

“What?” he said in a strained whisper.

“It’s…it’s fairly serious.”

He stared at the ground, seemingly astonished, as though it never entered his mind that I would move on or that another man would want me. His shock was pretty insulting, but I had no energy left to be offended. I just wanted to be free of him. The only problem was, I hadn’t taken into account Rob’s familiarity with the lodge and the surrounding area.

“Who is it? What the hell kind of hick are you hooking up with?” Before I could tell him it was none of his damn business, he figured it out on his own. “Oh no. No no no no no. Oh, of course.”

“What?” I was puzzled by the way he shook his head and laughed.

“It’s Stahl, isn’t it? Holy shit. He’s finally getting his revenge.”

Oh shit. What?

Were there even more secrets I didn’t know about Harlan? I’d never investigated why he hated Rob so much. I just figured Rob made it pretty easy to hate him. And in the early days his distaste for my ex had fallen in the possum category. I never backtracked to ask him about it.

“What do you mean ‘revenge’?”

“He didn’t tell you? Wow. That sounds like a really deep relationship, forged in honesty and trust.”

“Do you really want to go there? Honesty wasn’t exactly your forte. Just get on with it. What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about me and Harlan’s ex-wife. We hooked up back in the day. I was nineteen, spending the summer at the lodge and she was miserable and smoking hot. The whole thing was her idea. Stahl beat the crap out of me when he found out. I don’t really blame him. It was his wife, after all. And now, he’s sleeping with my wife, apparently.”

“ Ex -wife.”

My legs gave out from under me and I fell to sitting on the porch step. How on earth could he have kept this from me? This was a thousand times worse than the Stahl’s Lodge thing. How many times was this going to happen in our relationship? Would I find out some major secret of his every week until we died? Why didn’t he trust me enough to tell me the truth? How could he seem so open and yet hide something so major?

I dropped my face in my hands. I couldn’t make sense of what I’d heard. Rob’s assessment of Harlan’s interest in me being part of some revenge plot was simply untrue. I could at least give my guy that much credit. Nobody could make love to me the way he had the night before and be faking his feelings. And yet, I felt a deep wound knowing that he’d omitted the truth once again.

All the pieces of the puzzle suddenly came together. Shannon said that Kayla had cheated with a younger man. And the looks that Harlan had shared with Dale the Critter Gitter when the subject of Rob came up had been awfully knowing. At the time, I’d thought that Rob had smashed mailboxes or stolen beers from garage fridges or some other youthful shenanigans. I didn’t realize there was some kind of blood feud between him and Harlan.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” Rob said. “You deserve so much better than to be some pawn in that redneck’s revenge plot.”

His voice was syrupy and he took a step toward me. I was more sickened by his efforts to comfort me than I was at the thought of Harlan’s subterfuge.

“Shut up,” I said. “What’s between me and Harlan has nothing to do with you.” It felt good to stand up for my man, even though I wanted to wring his neck.

“Maze, you can’t be serious. You aren’t actually considering going back to this guy. He’s using you to get back at me.”

I was completely done. I’d spent far too many years thinking about what this self-centered man-child thought. I’d tried to let him down easy, but he had to go and complicate everything. He needed to get lost, and apparently the only way to make that happen was to let loose on him.

“I know this may be hard for you to understand. But the world doesn’t fucking revolve around you, Rob. Regardless of this little bit of surprising information, Harlan and I have a real relationship. We’re partners who respect one another. It’s the caring, loving, supportive couplehood I never had with you. Because you’re unable to think of anyone but yourself. You decide you still love me and you think you’re going to have some romcom movie ending by sweeping in here and telling me your feelings? And I’m just going to swoon and smile and take you back? You’re utterly ridiculous. You lied to me for years. You made me think I was broken. I want today to be the last time I ever see you. I’m with someone who makes me happy. So just accept that and move on with your goddamn life.”

He seemed more stunned than hurt. I’d never spoken to him like that. Even when I initially found out about his lies, I was too crushed to tell him off. I just weakly said I wanted a divorce and ran away. My time at the lodge had changed me, giving me a new well of strength. Facing everything from broken windows, to possums, to navigating a confusing relationship with a man who stares more often than he talks, helped me realize that I was in charge of my own destiny. Rather than worrying about pleasing everyone, I could please myself for once. And it really pleased me to rant at my ex. He deserved what I gave him and so much more.

“Fine,” he said. “I get it. I’m not going to try to talk you out of this. But just know, when it all goes wrong, I’m still here for you. You can always come home.”

He turned and walked to his SUV. I wanted to yell something snarky at him just to have the last word, but decided it was a waste of breath. He climbed into the driver’s seat, buckled his seatbelt, and started the car.

Goodbye, Rob. Hopefully forever.

He waved before he backed out of the driveway. I didn’t respond. I just stood up and walked into the house, praying to God that this chapter was finally done, so that I could figure out the mess ahead of me.