Lark Lake Lodge

Chapter Thirty

Epilogue

Five Years Later

I lumbered up the stairs with a stack of clean towels. Mrs. Fournier in Room Four had called down to the desk asking for them and I decided to bring them myself rather than sending Heather. It was time she got comfortable manning the front desk alone.

I wasn’t able to bolt up the stairs as I normally would, considering I was pregnant yet again. Harlan had helped me realize my dream of motherhood and then some. Our oldest, Adam, was four and Harry had just turned two. It seemed I was on a baby-every-two-years plan. But considering I was pushing forty, it was about time to revisit the plan. In fact, I’d been wanting to tell Harlan that the baby factory was closing after this one, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He was a truly amazing father and nothing in the world beat the joy on his face when I’d tell him we were expecting again, or his super-attentive nature throughout my pregnancies. And the dewy-eyed grin he’d given me after both deliveries as he held our tiny newborn sons…well, it was the most intense happiness I’d ever felt, and I couldn’t imagine opting out of ever seeing that again.

That said, I was getting too old for this shit. By the time I got to the top of the stairs, I was fairly winded. At six months along, I was just at the point where my belly was getting in the way. Making my way down the hall, I knocked on the door. After passing off the towels and having a quick chat with Mrs. Fournier, my phone buzzed in the pocket of my maternity khakis.

Meet me at the house.

Opening a successful inn, marrying the man of my dreams, and bearing two healthy sons were certainly amazing accomplishments. But these were nothing compared to the satisfaction of getting my stubborn old man to join the modern age and buy a smartphone. I worked on him for ages with little success, until I played the safety angle and told him as parents, we needed to be able to reach each other or the hospital at a moment’s notice. He was at the phone store the very next day.

I had a million things to do, and texted to be sure it was really worth me making the trek down to the house.

What’s up?

Just come here.

While his bossy text was kind of a turn-on, I really didn’t have time for all the cloak and dagger business.

Fine.

I made my way to the lobby and told Heather I’d be gone for a bit. When her face registered anxiousness, I reassured her that she could handle it.

After I greeted a few guests in the lounge, I made my way out the front door. No surprise, Roger was sprawled out on the porch, waiting for me in case I’d need an escort. He tended to be even more protective and ever-present when I was pregnant. although his bodyguard duties were interrupted by many more nap breaks these days. He was getting up there. His face had turned mostly white and his eyes seemed even bigger.

“Come on, Rog,” I said as I slowly walked down the steps, giving the old guy time to catch up.

I’d been rushing around all morning and hadn’t realized what an utterly gorgeous day it was until the unseasonably warm sun hit my face. As we slowly made our way down the path between the lodge and home, I was nearly blinded by beauty as the sunlight made the autumn leaves all around us glow with their deep reds, oranges, and bright yellows. October was my favorite month, and this year was particularly vibrant.

I took my time walking, letting my swollen feet slowly plod along the path. The woods were calming and I wanted to take just one moment to enjoy the serenity before the chaos of motherhood, marriage, and our bustling business reclaimed all of my attention.

I emerged from the wooded path in front of the old kennel fence. The building was so quiet now that Harlan had shuttered the breeding business. He’d sold off the last of the dogs a year prior, except for Dolly, Roger, and Ralph. Dolly called to me from our porch with her low, welcoming howl. The caramel and white basset was nearly full grown now. Roger made his way to the porch so he and his niece could trade a sniff. Dolly was the runt of the last litter Ralph sired.

Ralph, being just as old and tired as Roger, raised his head from his nap on the porch and when he saw me waddle up, let out a huffy breath and went back to sleep.

I was surprised I didn’t hear Harry through the screen door. He was supposed to be keeping Harlan company as he did most mornings. Adam had started pre-school a month prior and the separation was so difficult for Harlan that he’d seemed to cleave to Harry. We had a part-time nanny, but Harlan had all but let her go. He couldn’t bear to have both of the boys out of his sight all day. God, I loved my sappy old man .

Considering his near-obsessive attachment to the boys, I was stunned to see him standing alone in the kitchen when I entered. He was placing bowls of tomato soup on the table alongside a couple of gooey grilled cheese sandwiches. It was the perfect combo for a breezy fall day. And while I appreciated the gesture, I just couldn’t figure out why he’d rearranged his very predictable schedule for a random comfort food lunch.

At the sound of the screen closing and Roger’s nails tick-tacking on the kitchen tile, Harlan looked up and gave me his sunny grin—the one that made my heart feel as melty as the grilled cheeses. He rounded the table and took my face in his hands. Without a word, he kissed me. It was more than a typical, married, hello kiss. This had some spice, and while it turned me on, it also gave me pause. What the hell was he up to?

“Where’s Harry?” I asked once our lips parted.

“Hello to you, too,” he said with a chuckle as he headed to the fridge to grab a pitcher of lemonade. “Simon took him to the cider mill. Michael’s picking up Adam from pre-school later. The godfathers are giving us a day off. I thought it might be nice. I miss you.”

He placed our drinks on the table and looked up at me. My eyes instantly welled with tears. Emotionally, this particular pregnancy had me all over the map. I had a hair trigger for feels, and his comment made me realize how much of my life was dedicated to everything but him. My hand flew to my mouth and the tears spilled before I could even attempt to reel them in. Harlan saw me start to blubber and was at my side right away.

“Oh honey, I didn’t mean to trigger the faucet,” he said. “I just wanted us to take a little break together.”

He took my hand and pulled me to a chair. We sat, I pulled myself together, and we chowed down. I couldn’t stop staring lovingly at him through the whole lunch. He did most of the talking as I was too caught up marveling at his thoughtfulness, listening to the rumble of his deep voice, and staring at the sexy bob of his Adam’s apple. He’d been in a biography phase, so he shared with me about all the books he was reading about celebrities and historical figures.

I realized I must have really trailed off in the listening department when he stopped talking and had a look on his face as though he was waiting for an answer. Of course I’d missed the question. The warm soup and his deep voice had lulled me into checking out. No point in pretending. I asked him to repeat it.

“I said reading about Charlie Chaplin made me think that just because a man can keep fathering children, doesn’t necessarily mean he should . There’s kind of a point where a guy is just too old to be a good dad. Don’t you think?”

What I thought had been casual lunch conversation suddenly seemed like an attempt to tell me something. It wasn’t a hint. It was coming through loud and clear. I was so blown away at how like-minded we were on the subject; I must have made a strange face or hesitated too long. Harlan misunderstood and worriedly tried to adjust his comments.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong—making babies with you is amazing. Best thing in the world—”

I stood without a word and stepped to his side. He looked up at me bewildered. I crawled into his lap and wound my arms around his neck. His whole body seemed to unclench as he slid his arm around my back and ran a hand over my rounded belly. “I’m glad we have a second to chat,” I said. “I’ve been wanting to ask for a while, but didn’t know how to start. What if we stopped after this baby?”

“Are you sure? I just—I know how much being a mom means to you and how happy it’s made you to finally carry babies…” he said while stroking my belly with his fingers.

“Yes, for a long time I was desperate for this feeling. But after three pregnancies, I think I’ve gotten the full experience. And like you said, you’re really getting up there. It wouldn’t be fair to make you chase after toddlers with your aging body. ”

I felt the warm sting of a slap on my ass, followed by Harlan standing and hoisting my giant pregnant body in his arms. “I’ll show you just what this aging body can do,” he said as he marched to our bedroom.

He laid me gently on the bed, took a step back, and reached for the button on his jeans. “Are we really gonna do it? In the middle of the day?” I asked with a combination of wonder and excitement.

“Hell yeah. How often do we get a day to ourselves?” He dropped his pants and started to unbutton his flannel. “You know, now that I think of it, there is one thing I’ll really miss about you being pregnant all the time.”

I pulled my sweater over my head and tossed it on the floor. “Hmm…giant boobs? The fact that I’m a furnace that keeps you warm at night?”

“No,” he said, pulling his undershirt off by the back of his neck in that sexy way that guys only do on TV. “You’re a complete horndog when you’re pregnant. I can hardly keep up with you.”

I laughed as I stood and slid down my maternity khakis and stepped out of them. “True. But I’m sure you’ll be able to talk me into doing it every now and then once the baby factory is closed.”

He closed the gap between us and slid his arms around my middle. I wound mine around his neck. “So, you’re sure? You don’t wanna try for a daughter, do you? You’re really outnumbered here. Especially when this little dude arrives,” he said, stroking my belly again.

“We already have a daughter whom I love very much,” I said, bringing a bright grin to Harlan’s face. Shannon had just spent another summer with us after her sophomore year of college, and she and I had become very close. She was crazy about her little brothers and had threatened to take a semester off when this baby was born.

“Then if you’re sure, I’ll call the doc and make an appointment to get snipped. ”

My emotional response to his plan surprised even me. Who knew a vasectomy could be such a sweet and loving gesture? His offer was more moving than all the flowers and chocolate in the world. I’d just presumed I’d be expected to go back on the pill or manage whatever birth control we decided on. My old brain still made appearances. The brain that was conditioned to being married to a selfish man who needed mothering. I’d forget from time to time that I had married a grown-up, caring man who took care of business.

I dropped my face in my hands and blubbered. Harlan chuckled. “Are you crying because I said I’d get fixed?”

“Yes,” I said into my hands, still crying.

“You are adorable.” He pulled my hands away from my face. “Now you and your hormones need to get in that bed. We’re burning daylight and I’m as horny as a pregnant woman.”

I laughed and did as he said. He climbed in beside me. As I lay on my back, he was on his side, regarding me. After a solid ten seconds of him gazing at me with eyes overflowing with emotion, I started to get a little self-conscious.

“What?”

He propped himself up on his elbow. “I just think it’s funny that you always talk about how you came to the lodge to start a new life. But it was me who came alive when you got here. I was dead inside and you brought me back to life.”

“Oh, come on, Harlan!” I slapped his shoulder as tears began to flow again. “You can’t say shit like that! Do you want me to cry all day?” He laughed. “I thought we were going to do it? How am I supposed to have sexy times if I’m bawling?”

Grinning, he slid closer and wound his leg over mine, wrapping an arm around me. “Sorry. Yes, we’re going to do it.” He leaned in and gave me a soft, lingering kiss.

His words echoed in my head, even though I’d tried to eschew them to keep from crying. I’d given him a new life, just as he’d given me one. I said a silent thank-you to Uncle Randy for leaving the place to Rob, and a silent prayer of thanksgiving that Rob was too selfish to put the effort into the place and that it passed on to me.

The lodge came with so much more than just an old building, a feral possum community, and a broken sauna. It had a beautiful history, and a beautiful and caring man who was part of that history. And now I got to carry it on and make new memories and new little people with him. The lodge and Harlan weren’t just my new chapter; they were my whole damn book.