Late Nights & Love Lines (Single Dad Hotline #2)

24. Outside looking in

24

OUTSIDE LOOKING IN

ROWAN

S tella stayed behind with their sick daughter, but everyone else in Sebastian’s life is here. Again. I’m not even sure if they asked him or if they all decided that because Tabby and Bella were here, they’d have an impromptu get-together on a random Wednesday night.

One bottle of wine has turned into two, mostly thanks to Tabby, who manages to keep our glasses topped off without me even noticing.

Seren has stayed close to my side, not offering much to the conversation but observing and listening. We’re very similar that way. And her smile hasn’t faded once since we sat down at the island with Tabby and Bella.

What I would have given to belong anywhere when I was her age.

As soon as we sat down, Tabby poured Seren’s lemonade into a long-stem wineglass the rest of us are drinking out of, and right before our eyes, the girl’s confidence grew.

We’ve talked about everything from Tabby’s peculiar baking habits—pickle cupcakes were a hard pass for me—to how Bella had drifted into town a few years ago and instantly knew she’d found her place.

Seren and I had both shifted uncomfortably on our stools as Bella recounted her story, but neither woman pushed us to share more than we were comfortable with.

By my second glass of wine, I could even admit, at least to myself, that I was having fun.

“Are you getting along well with the kids in town?” Tabby asks, startling Seren, who chokes on her lemonade.

“Yeah,” she says with a slight frown as I pat her on the back. “They’ve all been really nice.”

“Does that surprise you?” Bella asks gently.

“It’s just…” Seren turns her gaze to me. “Different. The kids in Boston weren’t nice unless they were trying to get something from me. At least the kids at my school, anyway. It’s all about who you know and how much you have.”

Sebastian steps in from the deck, holding an empty platter. “Everything will be ready in about ten minutes.”

We all hum our acknowledgment while he walks into the pantry.

“All kids have their moments, and small-town kids are no different, but I do think the beach and the South in general can feel a little more welcoming of a place sometimes. It’s why I came here in the first place,” Bella says. “I love the beach, but the people are why I stayed.”

“Going home is going to suck,” Seren mutters. Sebastian stops cold in the doorway of the pantry, but Seren is staring at her glass and doesn’t see him. “I wish we could stay here.”

“Is that what you want?” Sebastian asks, causing Seren to jump.

She shrugs but won’t look directly at him.

“We’ll set the table,” Tabby says while she and Bella back away from the conversation.

In all honesty, Seb hasn’t brought up his long-term plans much, and I never thought to ask because I’ve been too busy trying to get through the todays and tomorrows.

“Ser, talk to me,” he begs, setting a box of tinfoil on the counter.

“I hate it at home now,” she says, her voice hollow and broken. “The kids will never let me live down what Mom did. The mean girls will only get meaner, and even if I change schools, people in Boston will still talk. I get sick to my stomach anytime I think about going home.”

Lord, she could be talking about my childhood. Sebastian’s gaze locks on mine, and I get the uncanny sensation that he’s comparing my situation to Seren’s, but I can also see his wheels spinning as he runs through every option they have.

“I can understand how you feel,” I say. “I used to have physical reactions like hives and throwing up every time I had to walk back into my house. But the difference is, you have so many people who love you.”

Beck walks in off the deck. He takes one look at our faces, grabs the tinfoil, and heads back outside.

He cared enough to read the room and our faces, then give us a few more minutes of privacy. It’s still strange to me, how these people care so easily.

“Okay,” Sebastian says. “I can’t promise you’ll get what you want, but I do promise to see if it’s an option for us. I’ve been thinking about it anyway.”

Seren’s head jerks up. “Really?” The hope in her voice tugs at the little girl in me who had hoped and prayed for a way out of her misery.

“Really,” he says. She jumps down from her stool and runs to him. He wraps her in a giant hug the instant she reaches him. “Remember, I can’t promise, Ser. There are so many moving pieces, but with the bulk of my company now tied to Beck’s, I might be able to work something out.”

I don’t realize she’s crying until she chokes out a “thank you, Daddy.” The hairs on my arms stand on end as I stare at them, and then goosebumps creep over my skin.

“Oh, sweet girl. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.” He’s talking to Seren, but staring intently at me as though the words are meant for us both.

Beck walks back inside. “Sorry to interrupt, but the food’s ready.”

“It’s okay,” Sebastian says, waving him in.

Seren pulls away from her dad and stands next to me. Then she buries her face in my chest, and sobs with what feels like relief.

When her cries turn into hiccups, she meets my gaze but doesn’t immediately release me. “Thank you, Row,” she whispers.

“For what?” I’m truly dumbfounded. I haven’t done anything.

“For including me.”

My heart no longer belongs to me because she just reached inside my chest and wrapped both fists around it.

Sebastian hands her a box of tissues, which she takes, and wipes her eyes and nose while I stand frozen, unsure if there’s even any air left in my lungs.

“You’re good for us, Peach.” He glances over to his daughter. “All of us.” For the third time tonight, he kisses my forehead, then walks around me toward the dining room.

His laughter jump-starts my lungs, and I suck in a large gulp of air.

“I’m going to need a bigger table if this happens a lot around here.” Sebastian chuckles.

“Get used to it,” Leo says with a teasing lilt to his tone. “You’re one of us now.”

Sebastian lifts his head at that moment and snags my gaze.

“Yeah, I think we are,” he says, before helping Miles into a chair.

My palms sweat, my vision tunnels, and I might be seconds away from passing out. This is the beginning of a panic attack, and I need to get out of here before I embarrass myself.

“Row,” Seren calls to me. She sounds far away, and I barely make out her silhouette. “Come on, out here.”

I follow the sound of her voice, then out onto the deck where the salt air washes over me with the force of a ten-foot wave. I’m instantly calmer, but it takes several more deep breaths before I’m sure I can speak.

“Thanks, Seren. How did you?—”

She shrugs. “Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning too. Pappy said the ocean is a natural stress reliever—the air or something. I just wanted to try it out on you first before I believed him.”

Miraculously, this kid not only pulled me from my panic, but she also got me to belly laugh.

Her lips tilt up on one side. “We have to take care of each other, right?”

“Yeah,” I choke out.

“Seren, come make a plate,” Sebastian calls, oblivious to the moment I shared with his very special little girl.

“Coming,” she calls. “Want me to save you a seat?”

I exhale a heavy puff of air through my teeth. “Sure, Seren. Thanks.”

Her cheeks blush, and then she scurries away as only preteen girls can—with a bounce in her step, her arms swinging side to side.

Meow .

“Not today, Lucky.”

Still a little shaky on my feet, I’m not ready to return to the party yet, so instead, I stand on the outside, peeking in on what it means to be part of a family.

“Look at them, Lucky. They make it appear so easy. It’s a dance that everyone knows but me.”

Meow .

“I swear you’re out here just to curse me.”

Sebastian laughs, and my gaze returns to the window. It’s truly a dance that they do, passing plates and touching shoulders as they move around each other so as not to collide. They’re in perfect harmony while I’m still out of key.

I enter my room after a very long, hot shower, and open my mouth, but the scream dies on my lips when I find it’s Sebastian sitting on my bed with the lights off.

“What the heck are you doing sitting in the dark? You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“We haven’t really had a chance to talk,” he says.

No, we didn’t because the house was overrun with people for hours.

“It was a pretty busy night.”

“How are you doing?” He keeps his voice low, but the tendril of worry is a caress around his words.

Unwrapping the towel around my hair, I hang it up on the back of my door so I don’t have to face him yet.

“I’m okay. Peopling is really exhausting though.” The words are barely out before the air shifts and his gaze blazes across my skin.

“Yeah, I guess it is. Especially when you’re not used to it.”

Mindlessly, I brush my hair, nodding in agreement. He sits patiently until I have nothing left to hide behind and sink into the mattress next to him.

His arm snakes around my shoulders as he pulls me into his side as if he never heard me say I’m not a cuddler. I actively choose to ignore that some small, tiny, insignificant piece of me is beginning to crave the connection.

“Do you have any idea how much you’ve given us these past few weeks?”

“Seb,” I whisper.

With his free hand, he cups my cheek and tilts my face up to his. “I’m serious, Rowan. When we first arrived, Seren was so angry. It was all she could see, and it was eating her up for months. Three weeks with you, and she’s smiling again. And hearing her laugh, God, it’s been so long since I heard her laugh, and you did that—you connect with her in a way I couldn’t. You pull Miles out of the old man mentality and allow him to simply be a kid, and you’ve always accepted Kade for the cannonball that he is.”

“I really haven’t done anything. They’re good kids, Sebastian. Good kids going through a tough time, and they’re more resilient than us. They would have been fine regardless of who their nanny was or will be.”

“I disagree.” Those two words are laced with frustration, but he doesn’t push the subject more. “I have a question, and a favor to ask.” He sounds almost nervous, and when I look up into his green eyes, I see the hesitation in the windows to his soul.

“Okay, this sounds ominous.” Damn my sweaty hands. Placing my palms on my mattress, I wipe them, then scoot myself back against the headboard to give me a little space.

Sebastian kicks off his shoes and crawls up the bed. With a hand on each knee, he separates them so he can settle himself between my thighs.

“Not ominous, my little rain cloud. Optimistic, yes. Pragmatic is fair. Hopeful for sure.”

His hands run long, smooth patterns up and down my legs from my shins to my thighs where my sleep shorts end. His thumbs swirl in a circular motion that causes my brain to short-circuit. He’s making it really hard to focus on his words.

“What’s the question, and what’s the favor?”

The smile that spreads across his face could belong to the devil himself.

“They’re connected.” His thumbs turn inward on my thighs and run along the hem of my shorts.

“And?”

“I want to take you out on a date.”

I frown, and my face scrunches into something that must resemble smelling a dirty diaper, but I can’t help it. “A date? With me?”

“Yes, Rowan. Only with you.” His hands stop moving, but his fingers press a little harder into my skin. “You’ve been on dates before.”

Sort of, though Jake and I never really cared to go out. Did we actually ever go on a date that wasn’t in one of our apartments? I reach for my bracelets to find my wrist naked—I never put them back on after my shower—and now all my nervous energy zaps from my fingertips into my tattoo. Each time my thumb taps against it, my blood sings Sebastian’s name.

“You’ve never been on a date before?” His entire body has turned to stone, and the way he’s glaring, you’d think I told him I wanted to be a virgin again or something.

Geez, Seb. Don’t stare at me as though you want to fix my whole world. Lowering my chin, I chew on my lip before answering.

“I had one long-term relationship in college, but neither of us were very social. I mean, we went to the movies a couple of times.”

“Fucking idiot,” Seb growls.

“What’s the favor?” I ask. Anything to change this subject.

He’s quiet for a long moment while he studies my face, and a flush instantly creeps across my skin. What’s going through his mind when he stares at me that way?

“I have to go to New York in a couple of weeks for a big charity gala. I want you to come with me, and we can have a date in New York, away from responsibilities for a couple of nights.”

“You want me…to go with you…to a charity gala…in New York City?”

There’s no way he’s asking that. What the hell would I do at a gala?

“Yes.”

“Yes?” My voice reaches a decibel that only dogs can hear. “Then what’s the favor?”

His grin morphs into a sheepish expression, and he lowers his lashes. They flutter against his cheeks before opening again. “My question is will you go on a date with me. My favor is going to the gala.”

Sweet baby Jesus.

“Sebastian,” I say breathlessly. The way he’s staring at me is frying my brain cells. I almost freaking said yes. “Trust me when I say this, I’m the last person you want to take to a gala. I can’t walk in heels, I don’t own a formal gown and I never have, I can barely apply makeup without looking like a clown. I wouldn’t even begin to know what to do with more than one fork on the table. Stella! Take Stella. She’d be great at this.”

Even as I say it, the green-eyed snake of jealousy slithers up my spine.

“Beck tolerates me most days, but he doesn’t like anyone enough for them to cross state lines with his wife. And that’s beside the point because you’re the only person I want to go with. All that other stuff, the dress, the shoes, that’s all stuff we have plenty of time to figure out. Plus, the girls would love to take you shopping.”

Suddenly Tabby’s statement about making up for lost time makes a lot more sense. Every ounce of self-preservation I have is screaming at me to say no because this is truly a terrible idea.

Then I study his face, and my mouth disconnects from my brain entirely.

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you about this. If I make a fool out of you, you only have yourself to blame.” I pout, crossing my arms over my chest, because the second I give my consent, Sebastian’s dark gaze changes from one of hope to all-consuming lust that burns hot enough to scorch my skin.

He slides down the bed, grabs both of my ankles, and gives me a sharp tug until I’m flat on my back. Then, he goes to work. He unties my pajama shorts, pausing to give me a chance to say no—yeah right. I’m not saying no now. With a smirk, he pulls the shorts down my legs. He’s so close to my body that his short puffs of hot air hit my skin with the intensity of a blowtorch.

“There’s my girl,” he says, staring straight into my eyes as his thumbs hook the straps on my panties. Then they’re gone too.

He slowly scans my body, only stopping when he reaches my pussy, and it’s so intoxicating, the insides of my thighs grow damp with my arousal.

The first swipe of his tongue along my slit might as well be my last crumbling wall. He separates me with his thumbs. It would be embarrassing, how intensely he stares at my pussy, if not for the way his entire body vibrates with a satisfied growl.

“So sweet,” he says as his tongue dips inside my channel.

My back arches off the bed. How can he play my body so effortlessly when I don’t even know my own song yet?

He pinches my clit, rolling it between two strong fingers, then taps it relentlessly in time with his tongue that dips in and out, licking, and sucking, and lavishing me with the most sensitive of kisses.

“Oh, God,” I moan. This man always makes me forget myself. He slips two fingers inside of me, curling and stroking. It’s too much sensation all at once. I twist and writhe, but he holds me steady. Sebastian’s long fingers strum me from the inside while his tongue mercilessly attacks my aching bundle of nerves.

“I don’t want to scare you, sweet, sweet Rowan, but you are mine.” He squeezes a third finger inside of me, and my body bows to his command. “Your pussy is mine. Your heart is mine.”

Words that would normally send me running only add to the erotic tension coiling within my body. Ripping the pillow from beneath my head, I bite down on it to muffle my sounds.

He wants me. He wants to keep me. And he’s the only one I’d consider staying for.

“Come for me, Rowan. Give me everything you have.” His words tear the sound from my throat. A cry of pure ecstasy, a cry of surrender that can’t be muffled by my pillow, even as I bear down on it.

My body tightens as everything goes silent in my head. Seb rips the pillow away from my face as wave after wave of pleasure drowns all my fears until the only thing that’s left to do is freely hand myself over to this man.

Slowly, the buzzing of my thoughts rolls back through my mind. But they’re quieter than normal, less antagonistic in their brutal truths.

I may as well be floating on a cloud high above the thorns of life.

Sebastian chuckles softly. Did he say something? His lips trail kisses up my stomach, to my neck, and finally my lips. Tasting myself on him is like a drug, something you never meant to try, but once you do, you want more.

I fumble with his belt, but a heavy exhaustion is rolling in, and my fingers tremble uselessly. He clasps my hands in his and shakes his head.

“Not tonight, sweetheart. Tonight, we sleep. We have a lifetime to explore.”

He shifts over me, pulling my back into his front, molding my body to his, but my mind settles on two words—a lifetime.

“A lifetime is an awfully long time.”

“Or maybe it’s not nearly long enough,” he whispers into my hair.

My heavy lids drift closed before I can remind him that I’m not a cuddler.