Late Nights & Love Lines (Single Dad Hotline #2)

26. Even better than a princess

26

EVEN BETTER THAN A PRINCESS

ROWAN

T he doorbell rings, and I roll over, but Sebastian’s side of the bed is cold. Something changed the night he took Miles fishing, and he hasn’t slept in his own room since. I try not to worry too much about how my pulse spikes every time he leaves.

What if the kids see him sneaking out of my room?

What if Pappy gets the wrong idea?

What if Sebastian thinks I can stay?

What if I do too?

Meow .

My gaze darts to the end of the bed where Lucky sits, staring at me like an evil wizard.

“How the hell did you get in here? Shoo. Go away. I don’t need your bad luck today.”

Lucky stands, spins in place, then plops down to glare at me as if he has every right to curse me.

Excitable voices echo up the stairs, and I groan, pulling Sebastian’s pillow over my face. Why does his scent have to be what calms me? Groaning, I attempt to suffocate myself with his pillow.

“Rowan?” Seren calls through my door with a soft knock.

“Come in,” I reply, tossing the pillow to the side and sitting up. The movement startles Lucky enough that he jumps down and scurries from my room when the door opens.

She walks through the door, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth and shifting her weight from foot to foot.

“What’s wrong?” I ask. When did I start holding my breath every time I ask that question?

“Nothing, but…” Her gaze jumps around my room before falling back to me sitting in the middle of my bed. “Miss Stella and Miss Tabby are downstairs.” She twists her hands together in front of her belly. “Um, they’re here to take you dress shopping.”

My chin falls to my chest in exaggerated exasperation. “I hate shopping,” I whine.

“It can’t be that bad, can it? They said they have a whole day planned.”

Something in her tone has me searching her face a little more closely. She’s nervous.

My lips twitch as a plan forms.

“Do you want to come with us?” I ask carefully. She said her mom got her a dress, but did she get to choose it?

Her gaze snaps to mine, and I recognize the lost emptiness in her emerald irises.

“You mean it?”

I nod, my chest expanding to welcome her in even more as her tentative smile grows.

“I do. But here’s the thing. If we go, we’re in this together.” I wave my hand back and forth for emphasis. “Those two think this stupid gala is a chance to give me a stupid Cinderella fairy-tale moment, but that’s not me. I have no desire to look like a helpless bumbling princess, so no matter what, you’ll have to tell me the truth. Got it? Even if you think it’ll hurt my stupid feelings, promise me you’ll tell me if you hate something stupid they make me try on.”

She flushes with happiness, and her smile shows off a dimple I’ve never seen before. Warmth spreads through my chest because something I did made her smile so real and genuine that it transformed her entire face.

“You said stupid a lot of times.” She laughs. Perhaps I’m more nervous than I’m allowing myself to believe too. “But deal. No princesses. Got it.” She darts across the room, jumps onto my bed, and wraps her arms around my neck.

I’m not prepared for it, so my arms hang listlessly at my sides until the sight of Sebastian leaning against my door reminds me to move.

Awkwardly, I pat her back, but the reality is, it’s not as uncomfortable as it once was.

“What’s going on in here?” he asks. His body is relaxed, and the softness of his features tells me everything—he loves the bond I’m forming with his daughter.

Seren pulls back and hops off my bed. “Row asked me to go shopping and wants my opinion so the girls don’t turn her into a pumpkin.” She runs past her dad, leaving him even more confused.

I shrug and scrunch up my nose. “I asked if she wanted to go shopping with us. It seemed as though she wanted to come, and she’s the only one I trust not to turn me into Gala Barbie.”

Without breaking eye contact, he quietly shuts my door, locks it, then stalks me with sexual intent in his bright green orbs.

He doesn’t stop until he’s on his knees, hovering over me. Then he clasps my face with both of his hands.

“I’m going to say something to you right now, and no matter what kind of reaction it stirs in you, I won’t let you run. You need to absorb these words, feel them, think about them, then react. Got it?”

Oh, lord. What’s happening? My sweaty hands lock over his as air whooshes from my lips. I’m glad he’s holding me up because I’m suddenly hyperventilating, and he hasn’t even said anything yet.

Lowering his mouth, his lips ghost over mine, feeding me air. “Breathe, Row.”

Sebastian makes a show of inhaling deeply then releasing it slowly. Before my brain catches up, my body follows his lead, and he smiles.

“Do you have any idea how special you are?”

Like a mewling cat, I lean into his touch.

His kiss is a dusting across my lips. Why does that feel more intimate than anything else we’ve done?

“Are you ready?” he asks, a mysterious glint shining in his eyes.

“There’s more?” I squeak.

He nods as unspoken emotion passes between us. “Remember. Absorb, feel, think, then react, okay?”

“Jesus, Seb. You’re scaring me.”

He laughs. “Then I’m really about to fucking terrify you.”

My mind goes blank, but before I can conjure up all kinds of horrors, he winks.

“Rowan Melody Ellis, I love the fuck out of you. All of you. The pieces you consider broken, the parts you attempt to keep hidden, the bits you can’t see that make everyone around you better. I love all of you, and I think a part of my soul has been yours since the very first time I saw you. I was just too young and dumb to understand what the flutter in my chest meant. But now that I’ve had you in my life, my heart won’t beat without you next to it. You’re it for me.”

He hit me with something far worse than anything I could have dreamed up, and I wait for all the fear to come crashing down, but…it doesn’t.

Instead, a peaceful silence washes through me. He’s the only person in the world who has ever been able to give this to me—a break from the torment that haunts my mind.

The voices telling me I’ll never amount to anything.

The ex’s face that was burned into my soul when I caught him.

My stepsister’s cruel laugh.

My mother’s painful indifference.

It’s all…gone, vanished into the abyss of my tortured mind.

“Row? Are you okay?”

I blink him into focus, but it’s as though his words have choked out all my fears. I’m not sure who I am when I’m not fighting through the trauma.

It’s just me, and him.

“Rowan, say something. I know I told you to absorb the words, but Jesus, I can’t even tell if you’re breathing.”

I nod. “I—I’m absorbing.”

His face lights up like a little boy at his first baseball game. “Good.” He leans in and presses his lips to my forehead, but he isn’t quick to pull away. His lips burn into my flesh as though he’s tattooing his love there, and from that one touch, the first flickers of hope I’ve had since I was ten years old take root in my heart.

When he pulls away, I’m still in a state of shock, but as he stands, he slowly releases my face, willing my gaze to follow him.

“Thank you for everything you do. Especially with Seren. I’ll never be able to express to you how much that means to me. It’s…” He scans every inch of my face, as though searching for answers before staring at me with a content grin. “It’s everything, Rowan. You are everything.”

Before I can say anything, he’s off the bed and opening the door.

“You’d better get ready.” His smile is disarming. “Stella and Tabby are on a mission, and I can only hold them off for so long.”

I nod, then shake my head, then nod again. I keep waiting for the noise that’s filled my mind for more than a decade to return but it…doesn’t.

My body moves of its own accord through the motions of getting dressed while I attempt to figure out what the warmth in my limbs means. I keep glancing over my shoulder as if those voices that have controlled me are lurking behind the next corner, but as I make my way down the stairs to the sound of nothing but my own heartbeat, I feel free.

I feel like myself.

And I don’t hate it half as much as I thought I would.

“Just come out and show us,” Tabby says, rapping her knuckles on the dressing room door.

For my part, I’m sitting on the small stool in the corner of my dressing room with my head between my knees, sweating like an ice cube in July in the Texas heat.

“Row?” Seren’s hesitant voice comes next. “My dad wants to talk to you.”

“Shit,” I curse. “Who called him?” The accusation shoots from my mouth before I can adjust my tone.

Seren’s hand waves under the door, holding her phone out to me. “No one called him, he called me.”

Grabbing the phone, I retreat to my corner. “What?”

His soft chuckle fills the small room, and I hit the button to take him off speakerphone.

“Things not going as well as you’d hoped?” he asks.

“I’ve tried on over ten dresses, Seb. I’m soaked in sweat from the sticker shock on these ridiculous gowns, and they all make me look like some sort of cupcake.”

“Rowan.” His voice is deep, commanding. “Didn’t the girls tell you?”

“Tell me what?” I sulk. When the heck did I turn into this girl—the one who seeks comfort from a man? Blowing my hair out of my face, I stare at the ceiling because even I can’t deny that simply hearing this man’s voice has calmed my racing anxiety.

Danger signs flash before my eyes. What will happen to my heart when this is over?

The memory of full-body sobs in the back of Junebug after I caught Jake fill me with a foreboding sense of dread that has my walls stacking up faster than the last few rows of Tetris.

“This entire day, from the dress, to shoes, to fucking flame-throwing and whatever the hell else it is that goes on for girls’ days are all paid for.”

What does that make me? A kept woman? A whore? Wait, flame-throwing?

Pressing the phone into my chest, I stick my head out the door. “Are we flame-throwing?” My voice is pitched so high it sounds as though I’ve been sucking on helium for half my life.

Tabby taps her chin as though she’s considering it, but Stella laughs. “No flame-throwing, but there is ax throwing in Corolla. We could do that on the way home.”

I frown at them, then slam the door shut again.

“Leo, Beck, and I all chipped in.” Sebastian is still talking. “None of you should be pulling out a credit card for anything. Not even a fucking glass of wine.”

Okay, so maybe not a whore then.

“I don’t understand,” I hiss.

“Sweetheart…” He sounds pained.

“Are all your dates as difficult as me?” The words meant for my head slip out through my insecurities. I’m so embarrassed I attempt to crush the phone with my bare hand.

This is what happens when I’m not fighting through the noise of life. My own shitty thoughts push through the barrier and escape into the world.

“There are no other dates, Rowan. But if you think I’m going to ask you on a date and then expect you to spend thousands of dollars to get ready for it, you’ve lost your damn mind. All three of you have events coming up, so try to enjoy this day.”

“Are they coming with us to New York?” The thought settles the unease making my hands shake.

“No. You’re going with me to New York. Stella is accompanying Beck to LA for a similar event, and Tabby is going to a military ball with Leo in the fall. You’ll all get your dresses, your nails done, whatever the fuck it is you do at these things, and enjoy yourselves. If I find out that you’ve spent even a quarter on the meter to park the car, there will be hell to pay. You hear me?”

“That goes for us too,” someone hollers in the background. Beck, maybe?

“You’re impossible,” I grunt.

“And you’re a stubborn mule sometimes, but I still love you.”

Sucking in a breath, I open my mouth, but my lungs burn because I’ve forgotten how to exhale.

“Try on the dresses, Rowan. Seren is really excited to help you choose one. Thank you for giving her this experience.”

My lungs heave on an exhale, and my inner petulant child makes a reappearance. “You play dirty.”

“Nah, sweetheart. I play to win. Have fun.”

“Have I ever given you any indication that I would find shopping fun?”

When he doesn’t answer, I glare at the phone. The jackass hung up on me. So freaking rude.

Stomping my right foot to shake out all the energy attacking my limbs, I wrench open the door. “Let’s do this.”

Handing the phone back to Seren, she grins at me as if I’ve hung the moon. I’d be lying if I said that expression—on this little girl—didn’t fill me with more confidence than I’ve ever had in my life.

“Try the yellow one,” Seren pleads. “It’s so Kate Hudson from How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days .”

I lift a brow in her direction. “That movie is older than you are.”

“It’s a classic,” she fires back. “And she’s so badass in it.”

Tabby doubles over laughing while Stella hides a grin.

A niggling sense of duty tickles my chest as I stare at Seren though. She really can’t swear whenever she wants, and that means I have to start being more careful around her too.

Apparently, she and I are in tune because she rolls her eyes, then lowers her voice. “I’ll try not to swear anymore.”

When she lifts her gaze to mine, I wink. “Okay, let’s get this show on the road. I have maybe ten dresses left in me before I’m handing over the dressing room to someone else, so bring your best.”

Stella rushes forward, shoving a hundred-pound Cinderella dress in my face while Tabby comes at me with something in a deep shade of violet draped over her arms that’ll show more skin than fabric. I swallow down a groan of annoyance as they place them on hooks in the dressing room.

Seren holds out her hand and we flap our fingers back and forth like fish three times before hooking pinkies, tapping our palms together, touching our pointer fingers, then bumping hips.

It’s better than a hug.

“You can do this, Row. You’ll be beautiful in them all, but I’ve got your back. No frogs will be kissed to turn you into a princess.”

Affection warms my cheeks. “You’re a good kid, Ser.”

She shrugs. “I have my moments.” I laugh as she walks back to sit on the sofa next to Stella. They both flick me into motion with their hands, and I take a step back, then shut the door and glare at my options.

The Cinderella dress is an immediate no. It’s a beautiful dress that would be amazing on Stella, but on me will resemble a mushroom that’s gotten so big it’s no longer recognizable.

Curse words fly through my mind, causing my lips to twitch as I open the door.

Stella jumps to her feet with her hands clasped in front of her face. “Oh, Rowan. It’s gorgeous. I’ve always thought it would be so fun to be a princess for a day.”

And suddenly the dress makes more sense. This is her dream dress. Glancing over my shoulder at the scrap of vibrant purple fabric Tabby handed me, I scowl because that’s probably her dream dress as well, but it’s so far removed from her day-to-day style it has me questioning everything I’ve learned about her.

“No,” Seren says, boldly standing tall, and a flood of pride washes over me. This little girl is going to grow into a beautifully strong woman. “It makes you look like a cake decoration.” When Stella’s face falls, Seren is quick to amend her statement. “Ah, maybe you’re too tall for it, Row. The waist sits funny. I bet it would be amazing on Stella though.”

This kid is twelve going on twenty.

“I think you’re right. Sebastian said you needed to find a dress too, Stella. Why don’t you try this one on?”

Her brow furrows for half a breath before she’s nodding, happiness beaming from her radiant smile.

I’ve never stripped out of a dress so quickly before. Nor have I ever had so much trouble getting into a dress as the next one I try on.

“I’m stuck,” I call through the door. The purple dress Tabby chose has strips of sheer paneling strategically showing skin from my shoulders to my toes. Now that I’m stuck partially in it, I can envision the sex appeal, and as annoyed as I am, I’m also intrigued by the pushy little baker.

What kind of sexy secrets is she hiding?

The door opens, and the three of them stand shoulder to shoulder, staring at me with varying degrees of humor twisting their faces.

“What the hell is wrong with this dress?” I ask, fully aware that they can see my entire ass in the mirror, but I can’t get the dress to move up or down at this point and I’ve lost track of the hidden zipper.

“It has the potential to be sexy as hell,” Tabby says with appreciation coating her words. “Do you have it on backwards?”

I glance over my shoulder, spinning in place, trying to see if she’s right.

Seren is the one to reach out, grab my elbow, and stop the manic circling that was about to happen.

“I don’t think so,” I finally say.

“Upside down?” Stella asks, bending over and looking up at me with her hair dragging on the floor.

“It’s not upside down,” I say sarcastically, but now I’m not so sure.

“Holy boobs,” Seren whispers, and we all stop moving to glance at my chest. Granted, my boobs are generally considered okay, but nothing to stop traffic over. Whatever this dress is doing to them makes them appear porn-film ready, and I quickly cup each one, trying to hide the fact that my nipples are standing at full attention and I’m flashing some major side-boob.

“It’s the freaking beading on the dress that’s suffocating the girls, that’s it.”

“This is not the dress,” Seren says with wide eyes. “Dad would lose his sh—mind—he would absolutely lose his mind, and isn’t this a charity for kids?”

“Uh-huh,” Stella says, choking back a laugh.

“I didn’t call you in here to give me commentary on the dress, I asked you to help me get the heck out of it. Find the zipper before I hyperventilate.”

“How did you lose the zipper?” Tabby asks, running her hands around the fabric.

“I had to zipper it in front because I couldn’t reach the top, and then twist the dress around,” I grumble.

“Found it,” Tabby cheers. Her fingers graze the bottom of my ass cheeks. Freaking great. “I can’t wait to tell Seb I felt you up.” She laughs.

“Gross, Miss Tabby. Please don’t.” Seren gags and is quick to reclaim her seat on the sofa. When she’s seated, I wink at her.

Free from the dress, I hold it to my chest and shut the door.

As soon as the silky yellow-and-gold gown glides down my skin, I know Seren has an eye that none of us have. The cut is perfect and hugs every curve and indent of my body, and she’s right, it does give off very big Kate Hudson vibes.

Once it’s zipped, I spin in the mirror and am mesmerized by how the body of the dress appears to shimmer in the lights. I can’t stop staring at myself.

I’ve never looked this way before.

“Rowan?” Stella asks, gently knocking on the door. “Everything all right in there? You’ve been quiet for a few minutes.”

“C—” My throat is thick and constricting with all the insecurities other people have thrown at me over my life. It’s like trying to swallow the spiky edge of a razor. “Can you send Seren in, please?”

A moment later, there’s another gentle knock. The door opens and Seren slips in. “Holy crap, Row,” she exclaims so loudly the door bursts open again with Tabby and Stella standing in the doorway.

All eyes are on me, and tears dampen my eyelashes.

“That dress was made for you,” Tabby gasps.

“Seren, honey. In case you didn’t know it, you’ve found your calling,” Stella says in awe.

“Holy hell. Sebastian will shit his pants when you walk out in this.” Tabby twirls her finger in the air, and I follow the silent command to spin.

My entire back is on display. The dress dips so low in the back it’s almost obscene, but somehow, the cut holds it in place and never exposes anything inappropriate.

“It’s perfect.” Seren grins. “It’s even better than a princess.”

“Yeah, kiddo.” My gaze meets hers. “I think it is.”