Late Nights & Love Lines (Single Dad Hotline #2)

35. Easy there, killer

35

EASY THERE, KILLER

SEBASTIAN

“ S he’s been in the area for a week. What do you think she’s doing?” Alexei asks.

Beck groans and tosses his pen on the table. “I need my own damn office.”

Despite his grouchy tone, his comment makes me chuckle. He has an office, multiple in fact, but he insists we work in his home office, and we’re all aware that it’s so he can be close to the kids and Stella.

“I don’t know,” I say, answering Alexei’s question. “But I’m glad I haven’t said anything to the kids. I thought she meant she wanted to see them the day she got here, but I’ve called twice, and she’s had an excuse both times. I’m not chasing her. If she wants to see my kids, she can call me.”

“She’s always played mind games,” Alexei grumbles. He’s been particularly pissy this week but says he’s fine.

“Hey, I’m here,” Elijah says from a screen on the wall. He and Teddy, Crystal Waters’ lead counsel, are video conferencing from Raleigh.

“The girls will be here soon,” I say as Rowan and Tabby walk through the door. Not a minute later, Stella and her friend Bella walk in.

Beck’s home office is as big as a three-car garage, but with all of us in here, it’s tight.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Leo asks from the corner. He’s doing the baby slide while wearing little Ryker.

“A business meeting,” I say at the same time Beck says, “A family meeting.”

I defer to him—it’s been all hands on deck this week and we’ve each taken over a different area of the project.

“I’m not part of the business,” Leo says, grabbing the diaper bag as though he can’t wait to escape this meeting.

“No, but you’re part of the family, so we need you here. And, whether you accept it or not, you do own shares in Crystal Waters,” Beck says. Leo grumbles something unintelligible but goes back to his baby slide in the corner.

“Anyway, things have changed,” I say.

“If we accept the deal with Blaine Industries…”

“What do you mean if?” Rowan interrupts. “Don’t you have to because of Coleman?”

“No, we don’t have to do anything,” Beck explains, though there’s no hiding how his jaw twitches. “We would take a loss, but not nearly as catastrophic as we would have without the other investors on board. After what happened with Coleman in the press, the other investors have recommitted without restrictions, but Blaine brings us into a whole new arena.”

“It’s a much larger-scale project than we had anticipated because they’ll want to incorporate their hotels,” I explain.

“That all sounds like good things to me,” Tabby says with a frown.

I stand and walk to the projection on the screen showing the forecasted growth. “It is, but it means that we’ll all be busier than ever.”

“We have to decide if that’s what we want for our families. It will mean some initial travel, longer hours, and lots of changes for the next year,” Beck explains.

Alexei jumps in, “But the long-term benefits would far outweigh the initial sacrifice.”

“Says the one man without a family,” Beck growls. “We’re not going to take on something of this size without everyone on board. That means you all as well.” He points to where Rowan, Stella, Tabby, and Bella sit huddled together.

“Well, we have each other to lean on, and a year isn’t so bad,” Stella says. “If it’s good for the long-term sustainability of the merger, then I say go for it.” Tabby and Bella nod in agreement.

“Row? What do you think?”

She jumps in her seat. “Oh, I— It’s not my— I mean, I’m sure they…”

I stalk her slowly as she stumbles over an explanation. She said she chooses us, but there are still moments that freak her the fuck out and she mentally grabs her running shoes.

Granted, it’s only been a week, but she made a commitment, and I’m not letting her go now.

“Your opinion matters too, Rowan, because you’re a part of this family.”

“Flipping mafia, I swear,” she grumbles.

When I cage her in her chair, she sighs. “Fine, yes. I agree with Stella too.”

Leaning in, I kiss her forehead. “Was that so hard?”

“Dad?” Seren calls, and the front door slams shut. She’s supposed to be at her friend Marlo’s house, so I’m immediately on high alert.

Rowan has already slipped out from under my arms and is hurrying to the doorway.

“We’re in Beck’s off— Seren, what’s wrong?” Rowan’s words fill my veins with ice.

“M—Mom,” Seren chokes.

Every single person in the room stands and leaves to give us privacy.

“Dad?” She stares up at me with sadness in her overflowing eyes, then sets her pleading gaze on Rowan. “I saw her. I—she told me to go home. Why? Why is she here if she doesn’t want to see us?”

Tugging her into my chest, I hold her tight as she balls up my shirt in her fists.

“Your mom is sick, Ser.”

She nods. “I didn’t think I wanted to see her.” Seren chokes back a sob. “But she’s my mom and…she doesn’t want to see me. She’s going to die, isn’t she?”

I hug her tighter. “Yes.”

Her nodding continues as if she’s processing this information with each bob of her head.

“Are you going to tell the boys?” she asks.

“I—I’m not sure,” I answer honestly. “I want to talk to the therapist because there’s not a straightforward answer here, Ser.”

“If she doesn’t want to see us, and if I get a vote, I don’t think we should tell them. It just makes it hurt more.”

Closing my eyes, I suck in air through my nose until my lungs burn.

“You always get a vote, Seren,” Row says quietly.

My soul dies a little. “I wish I could shield you from this heartache, baby girl.”

“No,” Seren says, swiping angry tears. “It’s good that I know so I don’t make her out to be something she’s not in my head.” She glares at Rowan, then her face falls before she glares again.

She has so many emotions she can’t process but manages to tell us so many things in that moment with only her eyes.

“I love you, Ser. We all love you.” She wrings her wrist in front of her before finally, her shoulders sag. “I know, Daddy. I—I’m going to go to the music room at camp, if that’s okay.”

“Do you want me to go with you?” I ask.

“No, thanks. I need…”

“I get it,” I tell her. And I do, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. “But promise me that you’ll talk to us, okay? We can’t make the world make sense, but we can love you through the pain of it.”

“I will,” she promises. She turns to Rowan, and after a moment’s hesitation, she buries herself in Rowan’s arms.

“Ser, why don’t you tell the boys to pack it up, and we’ll drive you back to the house. You can head to the music room from there,” I say.

Nodding, she pulls out of Rowan’s embrace, or tries to anyway. Rowan hasn’t quite released her. “Not yet,” Rowan whispers.

With a log cutting off my airway, I go help my boys pack up their stuff.

“I’ll be right back, okay, bud?”

Miles lifts his face from the puzzle we’re doing together. “Sure, Dad.”

Patting his arm, I walk toward the deck, where Rowan’s pacing with the wind whipping her hair in every direction.

“Peach?”

She stops abruptly.

“Want to talk about it?”

She bites her lips and shakes her head.

“Are you sure? Because you kinda look like you need to talk about some stuff.”

“Fine.” She throws her hands into the air. “I don’t know how to do this.” I don’t even flinch. A month ago, I would have seized at the words for fear that meant she was leaving, but now, I simply wait for her to work through the emotions she’s not used to sharing with other people.

“Just say whatever you’re thinking.”

“I want to kill her,” she blurts. “But I can’t say that out loud. And I’m well aware that it’s not kind and it’s not right. I should probably even be giving her grace because she is, in fact, dying, but I want to wrap my hands around her neck and snuff the life right out of her for hurting Seren again.”

Taking her arms in mine, I rub small circles down them until I get to her clenched hands and slowly help her relax them.

“Easy there, killer. You might want to take a break from the mafia romances.” It earns me a partial smile, but Seren’s pain shines brightly in Rowan’s eyes. She’s taking it on because she loves Seren more than she loves herself, just as a mom’s supposed to love.

“I won’t actually kill her,” Rowan mutters. “But she can’t keep hurting her this way. It’s death by a thousand cuts, and it’s not fair.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” I admit. “Well, not the killing part, but that she can’t keep hurting them.”

“You should go talk to her by yourself,” she says. “I don’t need to be there for that conversation.”

“But I want you to be a part of every conversation, Peach. I want us to be a team.” Hopefully she hears the honesty in my words because I’m not sure how else to explain this to her.

“I know,” she says. “And it’s a lot. I mean, it’s good, but it’s a lot, and I’m still going to try to flee sometimes, and you’re going to have to let me. This is one of those times. I don’t have a history with Mya, and everything I’ve learned about her is clouded by the hurt she’s caused. You’ll need to come to an agreement with her, and if I’m there I’ll be a fiery ball of rage that will get you nowhere. I’m doing this for myself because I hate her, and I’m doing it for your kids because they love her. Make peace with her, Seb, so she can give your children peace.”

“I’m keeping you forever.” That’s not what I had meant to say, but it’s what I mean. Shaking my head, I smile. “I meant to say that I love you, and I love that you put us first. And I’m keeping you forever.”

At least she laughs instead of runs.

“You should go find her now before Seren gets home.”

I press a gentle kiss on her forehead, and I’m almost to the door when she calls out, “Seb?”

“Yeah, Peach?”

“I was twelve years old the last time I told someone that I loved them.” My feet carry me back to her. “I told myself I’d never say those words again so I wouldn’t ever have to experience that kind of pain when I lost them.”

“I get it, and there’s no pressure. I know how you feel. I see it in your every action, every touch, and every kiss. I love you.”

“That’s the thing.”

Tilting my head, I study her. “What’s the thing?”

“I love you too, and I don’t know how to say it.”

Game. Set. Match. My heart is forever hers.

“Sweetheart,” I groan. “You just did.”

Her wide eyes draw me in, and if I never hear those three little words again, I’ll still die a happy man simply by this reaction alone.

“I love you?”

I nod, grinning like a damn fool.

“I guess I love you.” She laughs, and we finally become whole.

I called Mya fifteen times in a row before she finally picked up, and it took fifteen minutes to get her to agree to meet with me.

Now I’m sitting in a hotel bar, waiting for my ex-wife so I can tell her to get the hell out of my life for good.

“Seb,” she says, sliding into the booth across from me. Her movements are stilted, and flashes of pain show in her expression.

I say nothing, opting for the silence to draw her gaze to mine.

When she meets my eyes, she huffs. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. She wasn’t supposed to recognize me.”

“You’re her goddamn mother,” I sneer. “How would she not recognize you?”

“We both know I never earned that title. Parenthood is like preschool where everyone gets a trophy.” Her lip curls in disgust. “I wanted to see them, but I never planned for any of them to get close enough to recognize me. And when I saw her, saw how happy she was, I was—I was embarrassed knowing I’d hurt her. I didn’t want to cause her any more pain than I had to, so I sent her away.”

“What happened to you?” This is not the woman I married. I don’t even recognize this person.

“This is what happens when you live a loveless life, Sebastian. My parents never loved me and passed the tradition on to me. Then you, well, we were a good match on paper, but your heart was never in it, and neither was mine.”

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? My father was a horrible human, who tried to raise me to be just as terrible, but I chose to be different.”

“Do you want a medal?” Her words drip with condescension.

What the fuck am I even doing here.

“What’s your goal here, Mya? I refuse to allow you to keep hurting them, and when they see you and you turn your back, that fucking hurts them.”

She slaps her hand to the table, but she’s so weak it hardly makes a noise. “I said that was an accident. She wasn’t supposed to see me. She should have been focused on her friends. I didn’t mean to hurt her.” She sighs, and it appears to take all her energy to keep herself upright.

“How long do you have?” I ask, waiting for a morsel of grief or regret to seep into my consciousness, but it never does.

She shrugs. “I’m going back to Boston tonight. I’ll be gone in a month or so.”

“You’re not going to say goodbye to your children?”

Mya shakes her head. If evil had a picture, she’d be it.

“This is your only chance, Mya.” I clench my teeth together to keep my volume from escalating. “Come and talk to your children or don’t come back at all. I mean it. If you go back to Boston, don’t come back here, don’t call, don’t text. If you continue to play these games at their expense, I’ll make the rest of your days a living hell.”

I toss a fifty on the table to pay for the drinks I’d ordered and stand, but she grasps my wrist with more strength than I’d thought she had. “Take care of them,” she whispers without looking up.

“I can’t even begin to imagine what nightmare is playing in your head, Mya. But if there’s even an ounce of love in you, leave and don’t come back.”

“They may hate you for that request someday.”

She’s always playing goddamn games.

“That’s a risk I’ll have to take. If warning you away from them keeps their childhoods happy and safe, then I’ll take their wrath as adults when they’re able to fully comprehend the actions of a mother who couldn’t love anyone but herself.”

She nods, and I snap my wrist away from her.

“This will protect you from my father. Consider it a parting gift of goodwill, and take care of our children.” Reaching into her bag, she pulls out an envelope and hands it to me. I take it without looking, then walk out of the bar.

It takes all my willpower not to push the limits of my Tesla to get home as quickly as possible.