Learning to Love (New Zealand Sailing #1)

Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Sam

It feels strange being back home with Ellie. This is the house where I grew up. This is the house where I came back every day after sailing practice. This is the house where I came back without Thea that day.

Ellie moves around, chatting to everyone like she belongs. That's one of the things that fascinates me about her. In any situation, with anyone, she'd find something to talk about, a way to connect to the person she’s talking with. When I’m nervous I just drone on, and labor a point to death. Ellie just puts everyone at ease. In some ways, her and Corey are alike, both gliding through life like a catamaran through smooth waters. Me, I’m more of a dinghy fighting against the strong open ocean currents.

Earlier, as I saw Ellie with my family, charming each and every one of them, no matter how much of a dick my brother was, I wondered whether she would stick around after she finds out about Thea. Nobody mentioned anything so far, but it’s hanging over us like an invisible spider web that we can’t quite dust away.

When Tom bailed early during Die Hard, I knew I had to seize the opportunity to have Ellie to myself just for a little while, so I excused us even though it wasn’t even 8 PM. As we are walking towards my room, I’m feeling apprehensive. How will she feel about it? I think back to her room and start laughing. As she gives me an odd look, I find the need to explain myself.

“Just thinking back to your room, and that Single bed. My shoulder still aches from being squeezed in. Plus also a bit nervous about what you’ll think about my room. Ready?”

She smiles, as I open the door. I haven’t been here for such a long time, but somehow it all looks the same. Ellie is instantly drawn to the prize wall. A panel full of medals, cups, prizes and diplomas covers half of the wall, like a huge feature in the room.

“Wow. Are these all yours? I mean, of course they’re yours, they’re in your room”. She covers her mouth. I can’t tell if she’s pleased or surprised, or upset.

“Is it a bit much? I could always move it somewhere, a cupboard, or under the house”. I don’t mention that it’s only a part of them, there are more floating around in various places.

“No way, these are your achievements. I’m very proud and happy for you. I just didn’t think there would be so many”. She laughs, and I relax.

“The other feature in my room is a double bed”. We both laugh. “I got one when I turned 15, because I need to sleep comfortably. Unlike you”. She pokes her tongue out. I take it she likes it when I tease her.

She walks towards the window. You can see for miles out to the ocean, past houses, past the harbor, towards the mountains on one side. She sits on the window seat, and looks out, fascinated. “It’s amazing, I bet it changes all the time. I love this view.”

“So do I”.

She realises I’m looking at her, and laughs. “Smooth, Sam, smooth. You’re learning.”

I sit down next to her in the small window seat, and pull her on my lap. “Did you like your birthday and Christmas presents?”.

I’m a bit caught out. I start stroking her hair. “They’re very thoughtful. No doubt about it, I’m going to pour over the ancient maps and dream about being there sailing. And the protective necklace... “I pause to kiss her forehead. “We sailors are a superstitious bunch. Can’t hurt to wear it. Corey wears a pounamu. What about my present for you?”

She looks down. I hope she’s not upset. Tayla suggested jewellery, or some spa vouchers, but I thought a bracelet would be something she can wear all the time. Seems I was wrong.

“I love it, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen”. She winks. “Apart from you”.

I laugh at that. “I don’t think anyone could call me beautiful. I’m just ordinary. Corey is much better looking”.

Ellie holds me tight. “Well, I think you’re beautiful, and my opinion matters the most”. She kisses the tip of my nose. “And I’ll wear the bracelet, but not at work, because i’m worried i’ll lose it or break it at daycare when playing with the kids. Or even better, there would be a rain of diamonds on some poor child’s diaper”. That’s one angle I hadn’t thought about, and we both giggle like little kids.

“Feels good to spend your birthday and Christmas with you. By the way, why did you say you don’t celebrate your birthday? I love birthdays. I’d have two like the Queen, if I could”.

Of course Ellie would love birthdays. The cake, the presents, all the people together to celebrate you getting one year older. I’m quite lucky that my birthday is on Christmas day, because I never have to throw parties, and people don’t expect it either. Pretty early on when we met, Corey cottoned on to the fact I don’t want to celebrate, so instead he started making a bigger thing for his birthday in August.

“I just don’t feel like it. Getting older makes me feel bad”. I decide to tell the truth.

“Listen to yourself, you sound like you’re on death's door. You’re only 32 this year. What are you going to say when you’re 70?” She scolds me, and rightfully so. “Up to you, but definitely celebrating my birthday in May, hope you penciled it in your calendar”.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world”. Ellie means so much to me, I can’t imagine not being there for her.

She leans in for a kiss, and I pull her closer on my lap. She wraps her legs around me, and I can feel myself getting hard for her. I don't think there will ever be a time when I don't want her, crave her, need her like I do now.

I lift her up, her legs still wrapped around my waist and climb on the bed. She puts a finger on my lips.

“It's your birthday, you get the treats”. She takes off her clothes, and doesn't let me touch her.

“Na-ah. Your turn”. She takes off my t-shirt and shorts, freeing my dick which is aching by now. She starts kissing my lips, my jaw, then makes her way slowly but torturously downwards. She kisses my chest, sucks on my nipples, and by then I'm ready to explode. I try to hold her but she moves away, giggling. She's going to be the death of me.

By the time she reaches my navel and grabs my dick, I'm starting to have a fair idea of what she wants to do, even through my desire induced brain fog. She takes all of me in her mouth and I let out a gasp. She starts stroking, and sucking, driving me insane.

“Darling, I…”. I'm unable to finish a sentence. The only thing I can think of before I shatter into pieces is how can I make her come.

I summon all my strength to not come too quickly, and pull her up. She looks at me puzzled and a bit disappointed.

“I want to taste you as you're tasting me”.

A slow smile lights up Ellie's face, and she lies on top of me, facing away. I pull her closer to my face, and begin tasting her pussy. She's so wet for me, but I need more. She is teasing my dick again, and moaning every time my tongue flicks over her clit. She tastes amazing, and I want to make her come before I do. She seems to have the same thought as she starts working my dick faster, and more forcefully, licking the tip and sending me spiralling into oblivion. She comes seconds before I do, and I lap up all her juices, before coming hard into her mouth.

I pull her up in my arms and we lay spent for what feels like a long time.

“Happy Birthday”. She says after a while, and we both laugh carefree like it's the funniest thing in the world.

Ellie

Yesterday was a whirlwind, from leaving my parents' house, to getting here in O'Neill's Bay and meeting Sam's family, to having mind-blowing sex in his room full of medals. I need some time to process everything, probably once I'm back home tomorrow. For now, I'm enjoying being in the moment, and spending as much time with Sam and his family as possible.

It's Boxing Day today, and Tom convinced Sam and Steve, their dad, to go out on their boat diving for seafood bright and early. I'll spend most of the day with Joan, Sam's mum, then go out for a quick shop for Boxing Day sales with Sophie, Tom's wife, before the men come back.

After a cursory breakfast, I want to accompany them to the beach so I can wave them off.

“Time to get going. Sam said you want to wave us off, Ellie, so better get a move on”. Steve, Sam's dad, rushes me along, playfully.

Sam and Tom bring out some wetsuits and diving gear, check everything is in order, then start walking towards the beach. Steve goes around the house, and comes back driving a tractor.

“Hop on, Ellie”. I laugh, climb on, and off we go on the streets of O'Neill's Bay, on a massive red old tractor. Tom and Sam have already changed in their wetsuits, and I hop off, while Steve is bringing the boat around. I kiss Sam firmly on his lips.

“Take care out there. I want you to come back”. He smiles and strokes my cheek.

“Love you. Will bring you scallops.”

Using the tractor, Steve launches the boat, the boys hop on and he parks the tractor close by. The boys help him climb aboard, and sail off as I wave. The boat motors off into the distance, a trail of spray in its wake. I wait until I can't see it any longer, and my chest tightens. I'm afraid I won't be able to relax until he's back safely. I take a deep sigh, and start walking back to Sam's parents house, to hang out with Joan, and Sophie later on.

I find Joan in the kitchen, making coffee. “Would you like some, dear?”

“I would love some, thank you”. It's my first coffee of the day, and I can sense it's going to be one of many, since Sam is away and I'm so worried.

“You really worry about him, don't you, Ellie?” Joan seems fond of me already.

“I do. The ocean feels scary to me, so many depths, and so much… nothingness”. I choose my words carefully. After all, that's how Joan's son, my Sam makes a living.

Joan nods sadly. “Many lives lost at sea”. She hands me a steaming mug of fresh coffee and a Tim-Tam biscuit.

“On the other hand, it calms Sam down a lot. I've read some studies that water can be very soothing for someone who's neurodiverse”.

Joan drops her coffee mug into the sink. I jump up to help. “Are you alright? What happened?”.

She looks sad, defeated almost, wiping the sink absently. “When did you find out about my Sam? We don’t tell many people about it”.

I'm very surprised. “I thought it was common knowledge. His behaviour patterns. He can't read cues very well. He talks in circles about a given topic. I'm a daycare teacher, and I have taught several children on the spectrum. They're all treasures, the lot of them”.

“You won't tell anyone, will you?” She looks at me imploringly.

I couldn't be more shocked. “Joan, being neurodiverse is nothing to be ashamed of. He's an accomplished man, he's achieved so much in life and he's only 32. Plus I love him to bits, I would never do anything to harm him in any way”.

She seems more at ease, and changes the topic.

“Thank you. Sophie will come by soon, she's dying to show you the finest of what O'Neill's Bay has to offer”. We both laugh at that. I'm glad Joan has a good sense of humour.

“I really like you, Ellie. I hope my son finally decides to settle”. She smiles at me, and the doorbell rings.

Joan goes to answer, and I admire the photos on the wall in the lounge. A couple strike me in particular. They feature what looks like Tom, Sam and another child, could be a little girl. They definitely look related, freckles and auburn hair glistening from water drops. I puzzle over this. Could it be a cousin they’re close to? I wonder why Sam never mentioned her before.

Before I could form another coherent thought, Joan enters the room with Sophie, looking fantastic in the morning sun.

“Hey babe, I’ve been home to drop off the presents, but now I’m ready to go shopping”. Sophie takes my arm, and starts strolling confidently towards the door.

I gather my handbag, wave goodbye to Joan, and get ready for some fun at the markets. We go on foot through O’Neill’s Bay, towards the town centre. We walk on narrow streets lined with Pohutukawa in bloom, and Sophie stops to say Hi here and there. Some people throw curious looks my way, they must be wondering who I am.

In some ways I miss living somewhere small like this, where everyone knows everyone. In other ways, I don't, because everyone's up in everyone else's business.

Sophie and I chat about everything under the sun, about my job at the daycare, my parents' winery, her job at the hospital, and she even confesses she and Tom are trying for a baby.

“Go you, very happy for you guys. Fingers crossed it happens soon. At least in the meantime you can have fun trying”. Sophie bursts out laughing at my tongue in cheek comment.

“What about you and Sam? Do you think you'll do the marriage, baby thing?”

Her question throws me off. In my heart of hearts I do imagine Sam getting down on one knee at some point. Does he want kids though? He hasn't said anything about it, and I feel this is something we should be on the same page about.

“We've only been seeing each other for a few months now, so it's yet to be seen”. I keep my tone nice and light.

“Oh come on, you must know by now he never brought girls home. Laura was more like a friend than a fiancée”. Sophie enters the first shop, a local deli.

“Let's get some snacks for lunch, to have while the boys prepare the seafood”. As Sophie shops, I offer to pay for half, and choose some treats to take back home to Tayla.

“Tell me more about Laura”. My jealousy is getting the better of me. From the photos I saw a while ago, she's a tall, leggy blonde. Very sporty, and very suited to Sam, I thought.

Sophie brushes my concerns away. “Nothing for you to be worried about. I don't think she was a bad person, but she was a bit pushy, a bit too ambitious. Not good for our Sam, who needs to learn to take it easy”.

Interesting, sounds like a very driven woman. I admire that, but I'm more of a soft touch, due to the nature of my job, I guess.

Sophie and I taste some cherries and Manuka honey. “Sold. Delicious, let's buy some”.

We go onto the next shop, already laden with bags. This time it's a Wellness shop, lots of beauty, skincare, crystals, and yoga mats. I sigh, and buy a rose quartz for Tayla, and impulsively grab a box of kawakawa balm for Corey. We may not be great friends, but as a sailor he can definitely use it on his hands.

As we make our way back towards the house, I remember the photos on the lounge wall.

“A bit of an odd question. Who's that little girl in those childhood photos of Sam and Tom? She looks a lot like them”.

I'm walking for a short while, before I realise Sophie had stopped on the street, mouth agape.

“Did I say something wrong?” A feeling of dread pools in my stomach.

“You don't know? Sam hasn't told you?” Her words send me further into panic.

“No. Is there anything I should know?” My voice is faint.

“I… don't think it's my story to tell. Let's go back home”.

As we walk together in silence, carrying heavy shopping bags, my heart beats faster. When we get to the door, everything is crystal clear.

“Sophie, listen. You don't have to tell me. I'm going to ask you something, and if I'm right, just nod”. She looks miserable.

“Is it their sister?” Sophie nods. My gut twists.

“Did she… pass away?” A nod again.

“Is it anything to do with water… Sam?” Sophie nods again slowly, then opens the front door, leaving me torn in half.