Learning to Love (New Zealand Sailing #1)

Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Sam

First, I surprised myself and everyone around when I replied “Alright”, to Florian's suggestion that I drop everything and leave home.

I passed the whisky I won at Catan to Corey, promising him more when he comes back after six months at sea. Shook hands with everyone at the table, wished them all the best, then took off to my room to sort everything out.

Then I called the law firm that handles my and Corey's stuff. I was very shocked to be met by a voicemail, but then I realised that in Spain it may be lunchtime, but in New Zealand it's midnight, so a bit unfair to expect lawyers to burn the midnight oil more than they already do.

I wrote an email to the commercial lawyer that we'd been dealing with, a knowledgeable woman called Alina, that I wanted to be out of this contract, and that I'm leaving Spain and coming back to New Zealand asap.

I texted my mum to say Ellie and I broke up a few weeks ago because I'm stupid, but I'll try to fix it, and I love them all very much and hope to see them again soon.

I browsed the Air New Zealand website to make a new flight booking. I considered going to the airport and trying for a stand-by type scenario, but I'd rather hit the bullseye and have connections, and everything prepared. Took a loooong time getting here, it's going to be a loooong time going back.

The most convenient flights I found were Málaga - Paris - Shanghai - Auckland. It had to do, because as far as I was concerned, any minute spent away from Ellie was a minute wasted.

I had two hours before I had to go to the airport, so I called the Race Director, and said I was pulling out due to personal reasons, and that I needed to go back to New Zealand straight away. He was upset but seemed to understand, didn't enquire about the nature of the personal reasons.

I was buzzing with excitement at seeing Ellie again, holding her in my arms, telling her how I felt, and this feeling buoyed me until Shanghai. On the final leg of the journey to Auckland, doubts started setting in.

Maybe she found someone else already, over the last couple of weeks. Maybe she won't want to see me at all. Maybe I'm too entitled, thinking I can slot straight back into her life, and pick up where we left off.

I hadn't thought about what to tell her when I see her. In the best scenarios in my head, she just falls into my arms, tells me she loves me and that she'd been waiting for me. In the worst scenarios, she just closes the door in my face.

Corey would know what to say to win her back. What time is it now in New Zealand? I check my watch, another sponsored item. Sometimes I feel like a walking advert for various brands: sunglasses this, watch that, car this, shoes that. It's never-ending. I don’t know how Corey does it sometimes. He comes from a really large family, and I suppose he must pass some of the goodies down.

It's 2PM in New Zealand now. Ellie's likely still at work. I could swing by her house after work, and ask her out for dinner somewhere so we can talk, and tell her I need her. Or maybe if Tayla's not home, we could talk then and there… I'm so lost in my thoughts and I want Ellie back so badly, I miss the seatbelts fastened announcement, and the flight attendant comes by to scold me.

I fasten my seatbelt, and prepare for landing back in Aotearoa, the Land of the Big White Cloud. There’s no place like home, and I've come to learn that home is wherever Ellie is.

I speed through customs, shake a few hands, have a couple of photos taken, but narrowly avoid the press. The last thing I want is to let everyone know my intentions before I see Ellie. I get home to Bella Vista about 5PM, have a shower then spend too long for my liking choosing what I should wear. It needs to be something not too dressy, not too casual either. If it were up to me, I’d just throw on some shorts, a t-shirt and flip-flops.

I choose some khakis, a shirt, and shoes, which is the extent of my dress-up unless I see the Queen. By the time 6 o’clock rolls around, my stomach is in knots, and I know I can’t delay any longer going to see Ellie. Various situations play out in my head, but I can only hope for the best.

I’d forgotten it only takes 15 minutes to drive from my house to Ellie’s, over the Harbor Bridge. In my mind it felt like a gulf that was too difficult to cross and overcome, with the bridge somehow representing the distance between us. 15 minutes, three songs on the radio, or a short sailing regatta.

It's evening, and the setting sun mottles colors in the harbor. Before I have a chance to really process everything, I’m in Hillcrest, with its quiet tree-lined streets, and I question whether I could live on the North Shore. There’s nothing keeping me City side. It’s not like I go out every night. Or every week. Or every month even.

I park on their driveway, but the lights are out in the front part of the house. Have they gone out? I haven’t prepared for this, so I’m pondering my options. Should I write an old fashioned note and push it through the letterbox? Should I text her and tell her I want to see her? Just as I think about leaving, I see some lights at the back of the house. They must be in the garden.

I lock my car and start walking up towards the garden sidegate. There’s laughter, some music… and is that a man’s voice? What the hell is going on? I’m torn between turning back to my car and running away like I always do, and a new feeling creeping through my chest. I’m jealous. Why are there guys and what are they doing? I start walking faster, and open the gate to a scene I hadn’t expected.

I feel like I’m in a sit-com, and I’m the new arrival in town everyone stares at. I take a good look at everyone around the table, some familiar faces like Ellie, Tayla, Paddy and Gracie, and a couple of unfamiliar ones. I suspect the dark haired girl is Corinne, but the guy next to Ellie gives me pause. Have I met him before? Is he one of their friends? I can’t place my finger on it, but maybe we've met. They’re all silent, staring at me with their mouths open, getting ready to have dinner, and I’ve just interrupted them. Great. Ellie looks even more mouthwateringly beautiful than I remembered, and my heart skips a beat.

Paddy recovers quickly and lets out a hearty laugh. “ Well, I’ll be damned, if it isn’t the prodigal son from the Bible. Hey cuz, good to see you back in one piece, looking good. A bit on the light side though”.

This is probably the worst case scenario, one I hadn’t prepared for, where Ellie not only isn’t alone, but is surrounded by a bunch of clowns. And that chief clown, the dude by her side.

“Watcha doing?” Tayla’s in with the digs as well. “All swell?”

“Hey. Ah, I was hoping to speak to Ellie, maybe take her out for dinner…” I look straight at her. “But you guys are already eating. Maybe I should come back another time”. Ellie is agitated. I can’t read other people’s expressions, but I feel so in tune with her now, that I can tell broadly how she’s feeling.

“Just get a chair, and have a sausage sandwich. Lord knows you look like you need it”. Corinne’s words add to the general merriment. I’m being roasted mercilessly but I guess I deserve it.

The guy next to Ellie laughs politely as well, and my fist bunches. Gracie nudges Paddy, who notices the change in atmosphere, and decides to take pity on me.

“Ellie, how about you take Daisy out for ANOTHER walk, and Sam here can make sure you’re safe?” I fervently give thanks to Paddy in my head, and note to buy him the most expensive whisky I can get my hands on. I don’t know exactly what I’ll tell Ellie, but I know that I need a chance.

“Talk it out” Gracie whispers, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

Ellie’s been silent so far. She looks at Tayla, who shakes her head in annoyance. She stands up, and her floor length summer dress flows around her. Without saying a word, she grabs Daisy’s lead, and sets off towards the gate, Daisy hot on her heels. I follow suit, taking in the nearness of her after being apart for nearly a month. Will she give me another chance, or will she send me to hell?

Ellie

When Sam came by, all feelings flooded back. He looks different, somehow. His hair is shorter, and his body is leaner. He doesn’t seem nervous at all, and stood his ground as nearly everyone at the table had a go at him.

In my wildest dreams I hadn’t imagined him casually dropping by. I did wonder what personal reasons brought him home, and thought maybe something happened to his family to make him leave the Round the World Ocean Race.

As we walk side by side with Daisy towards the park around the corner from our house, I steal glances at him. He's smartly dressed, and he's got a determination about him that I haven't seen before.

“Is your family well?” We enter the park and I let Daisy off the lead so she can have a sniff around the place.

Sam's surprised, he wasn't expecting this question. “Yes, all well back in O'Neill's Bay. Why do you ask?”

I brace myself for the answer, however painful it may be. “Why did you come back early from the Round the World Race then?”

We get to a bench that's a bit out of the way, by the shrubbery towards the pond, and Sam gestures for me to sit. I'm wearing a flowy floor length maxi dress, very comfortable but not really sexy, because I hadn't counted on seeing him at any point.

His gray eyes are stormy by now, and I can read many things in them. Need. Hope. Abandon. I let myself hope for the first time since I've heard he's on his way to New Zealand.

“I think you know... I came back for you”. He picks up my hand, brings it to his lips, kissing my fingers one by one, and sending shivers down my spine.

“Why?” I just can't make sense of this. One moment he just goes away, next moment he comes back, like passing ships through the night. I take my hand away, and it bothers Sam.

“You're not going to make this easy, are you?” He grins, but I just raise my eyebrows at him.

“I don't know how to make grand gestures. I can't make fancy speeches and charm everybody, like Corey. What I do know is I've been the most miserable I've ever been in my life over the past month, and I need you in my life. You're my North Star. I'm lost at sea without you”.

Oh my... Whatever resolve I have is going away bit by bit, thawing like an ice cube left in the sun.

“What do you want?” I'm scared it's going to happen again, and go through all the pain like Groundhog Day. It was enough last time, and I'm still not over it.

He smiles. “At home and on the way here I rehearsed everything I would say… I was going to take you out for dinner somewhere private, and I was going to tell you how I've felt all this time, how much I love you, and that I know what my priorities are…But now I'm here with you, I'm lost for words.” Sam takes my hand again, moves closer to me on the bench, and looks deep into my eyes.

“I want a chance to make things right”. In the twilight, the end of summer breeze is gently caressing the trees. Feels like a moment trapped in time - Daisy chasing Monarch butterflies, the sound of the leaves, the scent of Wisteria, and Sam's full attention on me. There's a lot at stake.

“What do YOU want, Ellie?”

His soft voice hits a note within me. My heart swells, and I'm ready to cry. I want Sam. I cup his face with my hands, and lean in for a kiss. Hot tears streak my face as he moves closer still, wraps his arms around me, and sends my senses spinning. I haven't felt him this close for over four weeks now, and the nearness of him overwhelms me. He smells and tastes like the ocean, and I'm powerless to resist.

We continue kissing for what feels like a long time, rediscovering each other, hands exploring with a lazy urgency. He pulls me onto his lap, and my long dress gets caught on a loose screw on the bench. Sam sighs in frustration and helps me untangle it, but his hands are shaking so he's making a hash job of it. I try and fail to contain my laughter of relief.

“I missed you”. His gaze is hooded with want, and as he manages to free my dress, he slips a hand underneath, and cups my ass. I gasp at his touch on my bare skin.

“Shhh…” He silences me with a kiss. His hand moves to my hip, then trails lazily upwards, settling on my thigh. All my senses are on edge, but I want more. I wiggle on his lap, feeling his hardness through the layers of fabric. We're both wearing too many clothes.

“Someone may see us”. I'm so tightly strung by his touch, I'm practically panting now. Sam kisses my neck and his hand reaches further between my thighs.

“I don't think so”. His fingers move gently, firstly over my panties, then full on stroking my clit, in a rhythm that makes me slowly lose my mind. I can feel I'm about to come hard so I grasp his shirt, and kiss him to stop myself from screaming out loud as I ride the waves of sensations.

“Now it's your turn”. I'm sure I have a satisfied smile on my face and I couldn't care less. Sam kisses my nose, my cheeks and forehead, then holds me really close.

“I'm VERY uncomfortable but the others will be wondering where we are. We should head back”. I can hear the regret in his voice.

“How about… you sit down for dinner with everyone - sausage, bread and tomato ketchup…”

Sam laughs at that. “The food of champions”

“...and then you stay the night”.

His gray eyes turn darker again. “Are you sure it's a good idea? Small house, Tayla and Corinne there as well”. He shrugs his shoulders.

“As long as we're quiet”. I kiss his jaw.

He laughs wholeheartedly at that. “I'm quiet. Are you?”

I get up off his lap, straighten my dress and my hair, pick up the lead, and call for Daisy.

“My lips are sealed”. I poke my tongue at him, as he adjusts himself and walks faster to keep up with Daisy and I.

Sam

I'm aching for Ellie, I haven't wanted anything or anyone as much as I want her this moment. You could dangle the Sanders Cup in front of me, and I'd let it fall to the wayside, if it meant I get to be with Ellie.

What happened in the park was definitely unplanned. I'm 32 but around her I'm like a hormonal teenager. As we walk back towards her house, it dawns on me the others will have a field day with this.

While we've straightened up our clothes, I'm missing a button off my now VERY rumpled shirt, and Ellie looks deliciously tousled, like she was thoroughly kissed, or maybe more. At least we haven't tumbled around and got grass stains, I think philosophically.

This is one I'm going to have to take on the chin, plus it may give that other dude some pause. We get back before I get a chance to ask Ellie who he is and how he came to be at the dinner.

We go through the gate, and upon seeing the state of us, Paddy and Gracie burst out laughing, whereas Tayla, Corinne and the other guy have raised eyebrows.

I quickly sit at the table. “I'm starving. Do you guys have any food left?”

Paddy wheezes from so much glee. “He's starving! Love it”.

Ellie looks puzzled at the merriment. I guess she hasn't noticed my shirt or hadn't thought it was a big deal. She sits next to me, and I immediately place a hand on her leg.

“We've never seen him like this. It's cute. We're enjoying it”. Gracie adds fuel to the fire.

“Guys, I have to be up early tomorrow morning to open up the clinic. It was fun, let's do it again sometime soon”. The guy stands up to make a hasty retreat.

“Don't go, Alex! We haven't even introduced you to Sam, though I think you've probably met before”. Ellie's words surprise me. How could I have met him, where? Clinic? What clinic?

“Sam, this is Alex, Sophie's brother. He's a veterinarian up here on The Shore”. The penny drops loud and clear. I stand up and shake his hand.

“Sorry man, I didn't recognise you. You were at Tom and Sophie's wedding three years ago in O'Neill's Bay. Let's catch up over a drink sometime”.

He shakes my hand, nods and waves. Well, there's nothing to say he wasn't interested in Ellie. I reserve judgement.

“We're heading off as well, leaving you lovebirds behind. Come to dinner sometime soon”. Gracie winks at us.

“Thanks Gracie, appreciate it. I mean it”. Gracie hugs each and every one of us, and Paddy winks at me and flicks my missing shirt button hole.

“Until next time, champ”. He's not going to let me live this one down.

As they left, I find myself stared down by Tayla and Corinne.

“Spose you're going to stay the night”. Tayla doesn't mince words.

“Yes, I am, if Ellie will have me”. Ellie covers my hand with her hand, and smiles.

“Pull a nasty trick like that again, and we'll cut your ballsack, and serve it back to you on a silver plate. Understood?” Corinne looks fierce.

I laugh, but I'm definitely a little bit nervous. “Understood”.

“How was Corey?” Tayla tries to be nonchalant about it, but Ellie and Corinne look at her in disbelief.

“He was well. Will be back in September. Last time I saw him he was checking out your Instagram”. Not exactly true, but I did catch him once checking her profile out. Maybe he did it more often than I thought.

Tayla laughs. “That ratbag. Ok folks, I'm going to bed. Sam and Ellie can do the washing up since they fucked off for most of the dinner”. Corinne joins her and they head into the house.

Ellie and I are left behind in the garden with twinkling lights. Daisy fell asleep many minutes ago, tired after her long evening walk.

“Shall we do this?” My question has many facets, but Ellie gets them all.

“Let's!” We get up, pick up the dishes and go into the kitchen.