Lily and the Duke (Regency Spinsters Alliance #1)

Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

“I should be interested to learn where you have been these past few days?” Hellsmere raised a questioning dark brow as the two gentlemen sat in comfortable chairs drinking brandy after enjoying luncheon together at their club. “Investigating more on Prinny’s behalf, perhaps?”

“No.”

“No?”

Gabriel managed to keep his own gaze leveled on the piercing ones across from him. “I have been at home.”

“Not on the two occasions I came to see you.”

He frowned. “I was not told you had called.”

Hellsmere shrugged. “That is probably because I decided to spend time visiting with Chloe once I was informed you were not at home. Who, I might add, seems to be as puzzled by your mysterious afternoon absences as I am curious.”

Then it was a puzzlement and curiosity which Gabriel intended to ensure remained unsatisfied.

Gabriel had spent those afternoons looking at several properties Jacobson had managed to acquire the keys for so that Gabriel might view them. His intention to rent or buy one of them.

Pleasurable as it had been to make love to Lily, both within the excitement of a house of the demimonde and the quiet of his own study, neither of those locations had offered the complete privacy Gabriel wished the two of them to have for their future liaisons.

Gabriel wanted to be able to hear the uninhibited moans and gasps, Lily’s screams as she reached the pinnacle of her release. Sounds which she had necessarily been forced to stifle in both those previous locations. He also wished to be able to hold her in his arms after their pleasure had abated.

The quicker Gabriel could secure their privacy, the sooner he would be able to arrange to meet with Lily again. Somewhere where he would have the freedom to strip her completely and look at and touch all of her naked body. Also allowing him to feel and hear her every response to his lovemaking.

Something Gabriel believed he was becoming as deeply addicted to as he imagined those who visited the opium dens situated in the slum area of Limehouse along London’s docklands were prone to do.

Thank God Gabriel’s own addiction was only for making love to Lily. But it had grown stronger and more demanding in the days since he was last able to be alone with her.

So deep was his longing to be with her again now, he had even agreed to accompany Chloe and his aunt to a musical soiree this evening after learning Lily was to be there too. Unfortunately, she would be in the company of her mother and sisters-in-law.

Gabriel was well aware those circumstances would mean it was unlikely that he and Lily could be alone together. But just to see her again, to be in the same room, breathing in the same air, would, Gabriel hoped, satisfy some of his hunger for her.

“Has Lady Tremayne realized yet how obsessed you have become with her?”

Gabriel glanced sharply at Hellsmere. “I am not—”

“Do not make the situation worse by lying to me about it,” the other man warned.

Gabriel’s nostrils flared as he fought the urge to tell one of his closest friends to mind his own fucking business. “I would prefer that we not discuss that young lady at all,” he stated coldly. “How goes your own investigations into the identity of Prinny’s spy?”

Hellsmere narrowed his gaze for several seconds before he answered Gabriel’s obvious attempt at a diversion. “My own three candidates are all innocent. Every one of them has proved to be as boringly predictable as might be expected.”

“Predictable?”

“Each is lining his own pockets as much as he can. Each has a mistress. As I said, boring and predictable.”

As had been Lily’s explanation as to why she did not wish to marry any gentlemen of the ton .

Hellsmere grimaced. “Those gentlemen are all far too busy thinking of how to ensure their own comfort to be remotely interested in spying, for Napoleon or anyone else.”

Gabriel was aware that he still had two ministers of his own left to investigate. Just as he was aware that he had been neglecting his duty to Prinny so that he might pursue Lily and, latterly, secure somewhere for the two of them to meet.

He had never shirked his duty before now. Not to Prinny, not during his marriage to Mariah, nor during the years of being Chloe’s only parent.

Gabriel knew he was now guilty of being less than his attentive self to both Prinny’s requirements of him as one of his close confidants and Chloe’s needs as her father.

“I repeat, does Lady Tremayne know that you are obsessed with her?”

Gabriel gave a pained wince. “I am not sure what my feelings are for her.” Not so much that he intended discussing them with Hellsmere, in any case.

“I am.” Hellsmere snorted. “Not since Clara, including during your short marriage to Mariah, have I ever seen you so preoccupied and willing to do anything, go anywhere, even to a ball, in order that you might see a certain young lady again.”

Gabriel’s shoulders slumped. “What is your opinion on the matter?”

The other man’s brows rose. “My opinion can be of no relevance.”

“Except it is.” Gabriel released a heavy sigh.

“Why?”

He shook his head. “Am I making a fool of myself again, do you think?”

“Why should you think that?”

“Because Lily is so much younger than I am. Because she has her whole life ahead of her, and mine is half over. Because she is a close friend of my own daughter. Because—”

“It seems to me that you are trying to find excuses to prematurely end things between the two of you.”

Was he? Gabriel no longer knew what he was doing where Lily was concerned. Except the thought of not seeing or being with her again was anathema to him. Even the thought of it made him feel nauseous.

He tensed. “What makes you think there is anything between the two of us to end prematurely?”

“Because by your words and attitude, you have already admitted as much. Do not attempt to deny it, because I will not believe you,” his friend chided before Gabriel could speak. “Besides, I have come to realize that age is irrelevant where desire exists,” he added harshly.

Gabriel gave the other man a searching glance. “You sound as if you might be speaking from experience.”

Hellsmere looked taken aback. “Absolutely not,” he denied vehemently. “I am merely advising, as your desire is obviously reciprocated, that you allow your feelings for Lily Tremayne to run their course. You will only regret it later if you do not.”

Gabriel scowled. “That would seem to imply those feelings are only transitory.”

“Is that not exactly what they are? Yours for her, at least.” The other man quirked a derisive eyebrow. “Lily Tremayne is a lovely young lady, intelligent too from what I remember of her when I danced with her once at a ball toward the end of last year’s Season— Calm down, St. Albans,” Hellsmere advised when the jealousy Gabriel felt rising within himself obviously became visible to his friend. “I danced with her. We discussed the weather and the upcoming grouse season, which her father and brothers apparently all enjoy and take part in. What I meant to imply by the word intelligent is that the lady is not a giggling and simpering nincompoop like so many of the other debutants are. Chloe excluded.”

“Of course.” Gabriel nodded. “I should not care for Lily if she were emptyheaded.”

“Indeed.” Hellsmere nodded. “But it would be foolish to think that intelligence and physical appeal will be enough to hold your attention for longer than a few weeks, possibly a month or two.”

“Why do you think that?” Gabriel asked.

“Because Mariah has been dead for nineteen years, and you have never shown, by word or deed, the least inclination to publicly or privately tie yourself to another woman during that time. Ergo, your desire for Lady Tremayne will likely be fleeting and quickly over. On your part, at least.”

Hellsmere was quite correct in his summation regarding Gabriel having had no longevity of interest in any woman since Mariah died.

Leading Gabriel to realize that his desire for Lily, although currently as intense as the heat of a furnace, possibly burned too hot and strongly not to eventually burn itself out. Leaving only ashes in its wake.

Leaving Gabriel in ashes.

He had chosen to distance himself from people all these years because he knew his own nature so well. Only Chloe was allowed to occupy space in his heart. There was no room for anyone else.

“Why did you say ‘on your part, at least’?” he asked slowly.

Hellsmere gave him a pitying look. “My dear Gabriel, when a young and beautiful woman such as Lily Tremayne agrees to a physical affair, which is all you appear to have offered her, it is because she is already in love with you.”

“No!”

“Yes.”

“You are wrong,” Gabriel maintained without hesitation. “We…enjoy each other, but I would know if Lily was in love with me.”

“Would you?”

“Yes, damn it,” he snapped. “But you are quite right. I should stop this now, before any irrevocable damage is done to Lily’s reputation.” Before he was totally destroyed once Lily no longer wanted him!

“I believe I said the opposite.” Hellsmere frowned. “And is this not a rather abrupt about-turn in your intentions toward her?”

“But one your words have made me realize is probably for the best.”

“For whom?”

“Lily, of course,” he stated without hesitation.

This talk with Hellsmere had cleared the clouds of lustful feelings from Gabriel’s brain somewhat, allowing him to finally see how reckless his actions were. And how they might harm Lily if they were allowed to continue.

He had already placed her in a position of speculation by singling her out at the Landers’s ball, and then taking her to a house of the demimonde the following day. Her own subsequent visit to St. Albans House might not have gone unnoticed either, although thankfully, that could be attributed to her visiting with Chloe.

It would be the simplest thing for Gabriel to dispense with the idea of buying or renting a suitable house where the two of them might meet privately. No money had as yet changed hands. Not that it would have proved too much of a problem if it had. Gabriel would simply have instructed Jacobson to cancel the rental agreement or purchase and then deal any financial loss if it became necessary.

Unfortunately, he was already committed to going to the musical recital with Chloe and his aunt this evening—

“You are in love with her.”

“What?” Gabriel glared at Hellsmere.

“The fact that your concern was instantly and only for Lily Tremayne’s reputation and feelings, rather than your own, tells me that you are in love with her.”

Gabriel swallowed. “I—”

“I apologize for my previous lack of perception on the matter,” the other man added as he sat forward in his chair. “I had not realized how deep your regard was for the lady. But I am aware of it now, and it is because I am that I no longer believe ending your association with her is the right thing to do.”

Gabriel scoffed. “Who has done an about-turn now?”

“Before, I spoke like the cynical fool that I am,” Hellsmere dismissed. “Gabriel, think long and hard before you discard something so precious as love from your life. If you do, I assure you, you will live to regret it.”

The fact that his friend had called him by his first name when offering this advice, something they had not done with each other since they both inherited the title of duke, was indicative of how strongly the other man felt on the subject.

The bleakness he could see in the other man’s eyes and the unhappy turn of his lips implied there was more to this advice than Hellsmere had previously revealed.

“Lucien—”

“I have to go.” The other man rose abruptly to his feet. “I hope you enjoy attending the musical soiree this evening. Give my regards to Lady Tremayne when you see her,” he added before striding briskly from the room.

Gabriel was totally baffled by the abrupt end of their conversation. Never, by word or deed, had Lucien ever given the impression that he suffered an unrequited love for any woman. Yet, his words just now implied that he did.

Had Gabriel been so blinded by his love for Lily—yes, he could call it that in his own thoughts—that it seemed he might have neglected to notice when his best friend had also fallen in love?

If that was the case, then he must do better in future. Both toward his friendship with Hellsmere, and with his obligation to the Prince Regent in seeking out the person in government who was spying for the French.

As for attending the musical soiree this evening, Gabriel was still undecided whether he should make his excuses to Chloe and his aunt and remain at home. Or whether he should attend and see Lily once more before possibly bringing an end to this madness between them.

This indecisiveness was a very uncomfortable admission for a man who had, up till now, always been very decisive in both his actions and words.