Lord of Misrule (Below the Salt #8)

Chapter 14

T olin awoke the next morning hearing a pounding on his door. He rolled over, looking for Kit, but she was gone. He sat up abruptly, running a hand through his tangled hair.

“Damn,” he muttered, yawning and then rubbing his eyes. The door to his room opened and in walked Jarvis with Rook and Daegel on his heels.

“Get up, brother. You’ve missed the morning meal again,” said Rook.

“It was good, too,” agreed Daegel, plopping down atop the chair. “That baker woman made herb-encrusted bread and even fruit tarts.”

“What?” That got Tolin’s attention. “Kit was there? In the kitchen? She made my favorite tarts?” He swung his feet over the side of the bed, reaching down to the floor to pull on his trews.

“Of course she was in the kitchen,” said Jarvis, pulling open the shutter to let in the sunlight. With it came a cold winter breeze. “Where else would the baker be?”

“Nowhere,” mumbled Tolin standing up and stretching. When he did, his foot tangled on something. He reached down and picked up the item. Kit’s hose dangled from his fingers.

“I have a feeling Tolin had a tart of his own in his bed last night,” said Rook shaking his head.

“What?” asked Jarvis. He walked over to inspect what Tolin held. “Oh, that looks like a girl’s hose. So, I see you had a little action last night, my lord. Congratulations.”

“It certainly is a girl’s hose,” said Rook. “And my guess is the tart it came off of was none other than the baker girl.”

“Brother, you didn’t.” Daegel’s eyes opened wide. “You bedded the baker? How could you?”

“I think we know how it is done, just not why,” said Rook.

“Shut your mouths. All of you.” Tolin wadded up Kit’s hose and stuck it into his pouch. Then he continued dressing. “Kit is not a tart and I won’t tolerate you calling her that again.”

“So you did bed the baker,” said Jarvis with a nod. “I didn’t see that coming.”

Damn it, Tolin didn’t mean to admit that. Too late now. “I care for Kit and she for me,” he told the others.

“You’re falling in love with a commoner.” Daegel cracked a smile. “So it seems you’re no different from the rest of our siblings, after all. I’m not sure Father is going to like that. He had high hopes that at least one of his children would marry for status and wealth. You know, a good alliance.”

“My lord, you prided yourself saying you’d never fall for anyone who had less money or status than you,” Jarvis spit out.

“Thank you for pointing that out, squire.” Tolin finished dressing and donned his weapon belt. “However, I never said I wouldn’t bed a commoner. I mean, don’t worry because it’s not like we’re going to get married or anything.”

“Isn’t it like that?” asked Rook, crossing his arms over his chest. “I recognize the signs, Tolin.”

“Signs? What signs? What the hell are you talking about?” grumbled Tolin, wishing everyone would leave him alone and mind their own business.

“Don’t forget, the same thing happened to me with Rose,” Rook continued. “Yep. It is as clear as day. You are defending the girl, denying how much you are infatuated with her, and getting ready to smash your fist into the face of anyone who says anything bad about her. You’re falling for the girl all right, and falling fast. I wouldn’t be surprised if you two are engaged to be married by the time Father returns.”

“Stop it. All of you,” said Tolin, not liking where this conversation was leading.

“It looks like she won the game this time, Tolin,” said Daegel. “She probably did it to save her ass, now that her bakery has burned to the ground.”

“Nay, you’re wrong,” snapped Tolin. “Kit has too much respect for herself and also others to ever do anything like that. Say anything about her again and I’ll?—”

“Smash your fist into his face?” asked Rook. “Like I said, you’re showing all the signs.”

“For your information, I like the girl and felt sorry for her,” Tolin told the others. “I only wanted her to have some sort of enjoyment in life after all that she’s been through lately. Her life has been so trying. No one deserves what she’s been through.”

Tolin didn’t mean to make it sound like he coupled with Kit out of pity. But he needed his brothers and squire to think so. If not, they’d never stop hassling him regarding his personal life. They would also get the wrong idea of Kit. True, he did feel sorry for Kit. But the reason he bedded her was far beyond pity. He truly had strong feelings for her, and it scared the hell out of him, though he’d never admit it to the others. He had always prided himself on the fact he was single and free. True, he did say if he ever married someday, he’d only do so with a woman who had more money or more power than he. What was happening to him? In the past he’d accused love as being the culprit that made Rook and Raven weak. Was the same thing happening to him now too? Tolin didn’t enjoy being like everyone else. Or at least being like the rest of his siblings. He thrived to be different. And he strived to be in control and win every time, no matter what he was doing. Tolin didn’t ever want to be called a loser.

“Wait until Raven hears about this,” said Daegel with a chuckle.

Tolin grabbed his brother by the front of the tunic and slammed his body up against the wall. “If you or anyone says a word of what happened last night to anyone, I swear I will make sure you won’t be able to talk for a fortnight.” The last thing he wanted was Kit being on the tongue of the gossip flooding Blake Castle. Especially because of him.

“God’s eyes, Tolin, stop it,” ground out Rook. “You’re going to hurt him.”

“If Daegel is going to be a knight someday, then he needs to be able to stand up for himself,” said Tolin.

“I can and I will.” Daegel pushed out of Tolin’s grip. “I’ll meet you on the practice field and bring your sword. Because even if I’m not a knight yet, no one is going to treat me the way you just did, my lovesick brother.”

Kit had sneaked back to her little room off the kitchen early this morning, and thankfully before her son or any of the servants had awoken. She’d spent a wonderful night in Tolin’s arms making love with him in his bed. But she couldn’t let that happen again. She could see it all so clearly now. It was a mistake. She never should have gone to his room in the first place. Nothing could ever become of their little tryst, just like her sister had warned her. As hard as she tried, Kit couldn’t think of anything but Tolin. She also couldn’t push from her mind her infatuations of someday being his wife. What on earth was the matter with her?

Kit felt feelings for Tolin that she had never felt, not even with Crispin. Could she be falling in love with him? If so, did he feel the same way about her? Somehow she doubted that was the case here. To him, their lovemaking was probably nothing but another night with a wench to warm his bed, although it meant the world to her.

Unable to go back to sleep, she had made her way to the kitchen super early, using all her newfound energy to make herbed bread as well as Tolin’s favorite tarts. Unfortunately, Tolin hadn’t come to the great hall for the morning meal to break the fast. That made her realize that what they’d shared last night wasn’t as important to him as it was to her. If so, he would have wanted to be here to see her.

“You never told me what happened last night,” said Brenna, holding on to the table in the kitchen, slowly lowering her body atop a stool. Her pregnancy was really tiring her out lately. Kit was sure the baby would be arriving any day now.

“There’s nothing to tell.” Kit busied herself stacking up the dishes from her baking. Thankfully, Parker had found a few new friends to play with at the castle, and was spending time with them now instead of just with Tolin’s dog.

“What did he want to talk about?” asked Brenna, brushing flour dust from the table into a pile using her hand.

“Nothing.” Kit shrugged.

“I see,” said her sister looking to the floor as Kit leaned over the table to get more dishes. “And did that nothing have anything to do with the fact you are not wearing hose this morning?”

“What?” Kit stood up straight, terrified that Brenna had discovered her secret. By her sister’s smile, Kit realized she couldn’t keep lying to her. Neither did she want to. After all, it would be nice to have another woman to talk to about her relationship with Tolin. “All right, so you know.”

“How was it?” Brenna scanned the room and leaned over closer to Kit. “Was he any good in bed?” she whispered.

Kit scanned the room as well. When she was certain no one had heard, she leaned forward and gave her sister her answer. “It was beyond wonderful!” Just saying the words aloud made her heart flutter. “Brenna, he did things to me that no other man ever has. He made me feel things that I never felt before, not even with Parker’s father.” Kit was so excited about this that she felt giddy.

“Tell me more,” said Brenna with wide eyes. “I want to know every detail about what Tolin did to you.”

“Me too,” came a woman’s voice, causing both Kit and Brenna to turn in surprise. Raven stood in the kitchen, having walked up without them knowing it.

“Lady Raven,” said Kit, with a small curtsey. “Is there something I can do for you?”

“You can watch your feelings when you’re around my brother,” said Raven.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” said Kit.

“I’m sure you do.” Raven let out a sigh and crossed her arms over her chest. “Look, I like you a lot, I really do.”

“We like you, too, my lady,” said Kit.

“Then take some advice. Stop seeing Tolin.”

“What?” Kit blinked, not sure she understood. “But I thought you were promoting me being with your brother.”

“I was. At first,” Raven told her. “But I just came from the practice field where I spoke with Tolin’s squire.”

“The practice field?” asked Kit. “Was Tolin there?”

“Aye, he was there. Fighting his brothers in anger.”

“Why would he do that?” asked Brenna.

“Probably because they found out Kit and Tolin spent the night together and were giving him a hard time about it.”

Kit frowned and let out a deep sigh. “So Jarvis knew and told you.”

“Nay, he didn’t,” said Raven. “But you just did.”

“But you said Jarvis told you?—”

“What he told me wasn’t about what you did with my brother. It was something else altogether.”

“What?” asked Kit, feeling her heart sink. “Did Tolin say something about me? Please, I need to know.”

“Yes, I suppose you do,” said Raven. “Jarvis told me that Tolin said he felt sorry for you for all your loss lately. Also the reason he was with you was that he wanted you to feel some enjoyment in your life because you deserved it.”

“So he used me?” Kit was ready to start crying. “I see he doesn’t have feelings for me the way I do for him after all.

“I’m not sure Tolin can feel anything for a woman except lust. I’m sorry.” Raven turned and left the room.

“Brenna, you were right. I never should have gone to Lord Tolin’s solar. I must have just been feeling sorry for myself. I guess I deserve being used.”

“Kit, don’t be so hard on yourself. You didn’t know his plan. Lord Tolin seemed genuine. It sure looked like he really cared about you. I thought so too. He just fooled us, that’s all. I guess it is because he is so good at playing games.”

“Yes, I guess so,” said Kit, feeling sorely disappointed. “But I will not be fooled again. Brenna, pack your bags. We are leaving Blake Castle today.”

“Leaving? Nay, Kit. We have nowhere to go. I have no home where I can birth my baby.”

“You’re right again,” said Kit. “Never mind. I will find Parker and take him back to town, but you and Oliver stay here until the end of Twelfth Night, where you’ll be safe and warm and fed.”

“Nay, Kit,” said Brenna jumping up off the stool. “I won’t let you two leave without me. Oh!” she exclaimed, rubbing her belly.

“What is it, sister? What’s the matter?” asked Kit.

“Kit, you really can’t leave now.”

“Why not?” she asked, picking up a stack of dirty dishes.

“Because I’m scared to be here without you.”

“I want to see the damage that’s been done to our home,” Kit told her.

“Then I’ll come with you.”

“Nay, you can’t. It’s not safe for you to travel right now. Brenna, your baby is due any day.”

“Then that is even more reason for you to stay here with me.”

“I promise I will return as soon as I secure a place for us to live while we are trying to rebuild the bakery.”

“Kit, we don’t have money to rebuild.” Tears filled Brenna’s eyes.

“I know,” said Kit. “That is why I am going to ask Raven for a favor before I leave.”

“You’re going to ask her for money?”

“Nay, of course not. I am going to ask her to help me send a missive to Ireland.”

“Ireland? You’re going to contact our parents?”

“Yes, I have to,” said Kit. “They are the only ones who can help us now.”

“They are also the ones who kicked us out and disowned us in the first place.”

“True,” said Kit with a nod. “But I thought about this hard and long. No mother can really be that cruel that she wouldn’t ever want to see her children again.”

“Ours was.”

“Was she?” asked Kit. “I have a feeling that she was forced to make that decision by our stepfather.”

“Even if it’s true, Hasten will never let her help us.”

“That is why I am addressing the missive to her only.”

“Oh, Kit, do you really think Mother still cares for us?” Brenna rubbed her belly.

“I know the way I feel about Parker,” said Kit. “I would do anything in the world to keep him safe and to make certain he has what he needs.”

“Then why are you taking Parker with you?” asked her sister. “There is nothing for him back in town. He won’t even have a place to lay his head.”

“You’re right,” said Kit with a nod. “I will leave Parker here for now with you. Until I can find a suitable home. For all of us.”

“You’re leaving him behind?” Brenna’s eyes opened wide in disbelief.

“It is what’s best for him for right now,” said Kit, swallowing the lump in her throat. “He’ll be happier here with his new friends and with King. I am certain he will be safe being under Tolin’s care.”

“You’ll be safe under Lord Tolin’s care, too, so why are you leaving?”

Kit felt the emptiness in her heart. She didn’t want to leave but wouldn’t stay if she was naught but another trollop to Tolin. “It will hurt my heart too much to see Tolin when I now know he doesn’t have feelings for me like I thought he did last night. I won’t have him giving me pleasure just because he feels sorry for me. I want a man who loves me...the way I have fallen in love with him.”