Lord of Misrule (Below the Salt #8)

Chapter 15

T olin spent the morning on the practice field, winning every time he sparred with one of his men. Then he played cards with some of the guards and won that too. Damn, it felt good to be back on his winning streak. What he didn’t like was his siblings making him feel as if he’d lost where Kit was involved. He prided himself on his games and success. There was no way he’d let a commoner trump him. He could never admit to the others that he’d fallen fast for the girl. Nay. It would only make him seem weak. Tolin couldn’t let the others think that Kit had bested him, winning over him. That is why he lied when he said she didn’t mean anything to him, and that he felt pity for her and just wanted to give her pleasure.

Guilt ate away at him for acting this way. Still, it was the only way he knew. The way it had to be. Or did it? Since when did he care what others thought of him? If he had his eyes on a commoner, why should it even matter if someone didn’t agree? He didn’t know what to think anymore.

Tolin purposely avoided going to the kitchen all day long, not wanting to have to face Kit after last night. He felt like pond scum for not admitting his true feelings to his brothers. But Rook had acted much too smug, saying Tolin was falling in love with the girl. With a commoner. He might be Tolin’s older brother, but he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. Did he?

Finally, Tolin headed back into the keep for the main meal. He couldn’t even concentrate on the delicious feast because his mind was filled with thoughts of Kit.

“What activities do you have planned tonight?” Rook asked from next to him at the dais table.

“I...don’t know yet,” said Tolin. “I haven’t given it much thought.”

“Is that so?” Rook looked at him and made a silly face. He obviously didn’t believe Tolin at all.

Tolin needed to give an answer. “What I mean is, there will be acrobats and games for the children to compete in that involve balancing eggs on spoons and racing with them, of course.”

“I see. That sounds more like you,” said Rook with a nod, continuing to eat. “What about for the adults?”

“We’ll play Snapdragon,” said Tolin, his mind elsewhere. Snapdragon was a game played at Christmas that involved raisins soaked in brandy. The raisins were set on fire. People would pick one up and pop it into their mouth to put out the flames. The trick was to do it without being burned.

“Snapdragon for the adults?” Rook made another face. “That is a game for children, brother.”

“Aye, but once Raven found out I had it planned she became angry and told me it was much too dangerous for children. So, the adults will play it instead.”

“Shall we bring the dessert now?” asked a server, clearing the dirty dishes from the table. “Tonight we’ll be having Ryschewys and flaming Papyns,” she told them, speaking of the fried fig pastry and flaming custard.

“Oh, I can’t wait,” said Rook, pushing his empty plate to the serving girl. “I’ve never seen custard set on fire before. Just make sure to put out the flames before Lady Raven gets ahold of it or she’ll complain and send them all back to the kitchen,” said Rook with a chuckle.

“Lord Tolin?” asked the girl, waiting for him to acknowledge this order.

Tolin knew Kit would be delivering the dessert, and felt hesitant because this put him in a very awkward position.

“Tolin? The girl is speaking to you,” Rook reminded him.

“Yes. Yes, bring the dessert,” said Tolin, with a wave of his hand in the air.

“What the hell is the matter with you?” Rook asked once the server had left. “You seem as if you’ve got something on your mind tonight that is distracting you.”

“Nay, I’m fine.” Tolin reached down to pet King, who had his chin on Tolin’s leg, sitting at his feet under the table. Odd that the dog wasn’t with Parker like usual.

Before long, a procession of servers emerged from the kitchen. Each one of them held a tray containing the fried pastry as well as the custard that had been set on fire. A serving girl came to the dais, placing it on the table and dousing the flames.

“Where is the head baker?” Tolin asked the girl. “She is supposed to deliver the desserts to the dais.”

“I’m sorry, my lord, but she is not here,” said the girl, with downcast eyes.

“Where is she?”

“I do not know, my lord. I was instructed to bring the desserts to your table.”

Tolin nodded and the servant left.

“Pass the sweets,” said Daegel, stretching his neck to see them.

“Yes, take some and pass it over to us,” said Rook, devouring the desserts with his eyes.

“I don’t care for any.” Tolin pushed the dessert over to his brothers. He had no appetite for food. Only for Kit.

“Huh? Why not?” asked Rook. “It is one of your favorite Christmas pleasures.”

Just the use of Rook’s word ‘pleasure’ made Tolin’s guilt toward Kit grow. He couldn’t stand this anymore. He needed to talk to her.” He stood up abruptly to go to the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” asked Rook. “We are not done with the meal yet.”

“Continue on without me,” said Tolin. “I have something I need to do.”

Tolin made his way from the dais and to the kitchen. His stomach was in a knot but he couldn’t avoid Kit any longer. He had to talk to her about what happened between them last night. He walked briskly with King at his side.

He stepped into the kitchen and all the servers stopped whatever they were doing.

“Continue,” he said with a wave of his hand, heading to the area where Kit always worked.

“King!” shouted Parker, running over and hugging the dog around the neck.

“Where is your mother, Parker?” Tolin scanned the room but didn’t see her.

“She’s not here. She went home.”

“What?” His eyes snapped back to the boy. “What home?”

“Kit went back to town, my lord,” said Oliver from a work table. Brenna was seated next to him and they were kneading dough. Brenna looked tired and uncomfortable.

“Oliver? Shouldn’t you be in the stables?” Tolin didn’t understand what was going on here.

“I’m sorry, my lord. I am taking a break to help with the baking, since things are behind in Kit’s absence. The bread needs to be prepared for the morning.”

“Why did she leave?” he asked, getting angry. “She didn’t ask my permission.”

“My lord, she told me that you lifted the sentence,” said Brenna. “Please, don’t punish my sister. She is only trying to help out our family.”

“Doing what?” he demanded to know.

“She is staying with her sister-by-marriage in town while she tries to secure a place for us live,” Brenna informed him.

“Is she going to return?” he asked, feeling his heart sink.

“I am not sure, my lord,” said Brenna. “She will probably be back after Twelfth Night to collect us and to take us to our new home. If she finds one.”

This was wrong. So wrong. Tolin couldn’t just stand by and let it happen. He needed to talk to Kit and he needed to do it right now.

Tolin spun on his heel and headed out of the kitchen, planning on taking a ride to town to find Kit and explain how he truly felt about her. He decided he cared more about her than winning any stupid game. He didn’t want her leaving. Especially since she had nowhere to go.

As he left, he bumped into Brother Ruford just outside the kitchen.

“Ah, Tolin, there you are. Just in time,” said the monk. “The mummers are here and want to start the entertainment, but are waiting for the lord of the castle to sit down first.”

“They can continue without me.” Tolin still planned on finding Kit.

“Nay, my lord, they can’t,” said the monk, as Emeric the steward joined them. “It is tradition that the lord of the castle start the festivities with a toast.”

“And don’t forget that all the ladies of the castle are waiting for a dance with you tonight,” Emeric reminded him. “They look forward to this once a year.”

“Is that tonight?” The last thing he wanted was to take another woman in his arms when the only one he wanted was Kit.

“My lord, my lord,” said Jarvis, pushing his way through the people in an urgent manner.

“What is it, squire?”

“Everyone is upset that the Lord of Misrule hasn’t ordered anyone to do things in a while now. They want you to command something crazy.”

“Yes, this is the one time the peasants can actually be treated like a noble, or have fun. You need to give them that,” agreed Rook.

“Yes, I suppose so,” Tolin said, releasing a sigh. With everything planned for the festivities, he could see that he would never get to town tonight. Mayhap it would just have to wait until tomorrow.

Kit stood in the middle of her burned down bakery, feel lost, alone, and hopeless. Everything was in ashes. She walked through the area that had once been her home. Now it was a smoldering pile of nothingness.

The ovens were just fine, being used to flames. However, the upstairs was gone and so was the roof. She looked up to see the darkening sky since nightfall was coming fast.

“Kit? Kit, are you in here?” Her sister-by-marriage came through the opening that used to be the front door.

“I’m back here, Vivian,” she called out to the girl.

Vivian waded through the ashes and water damage, joining Kit in what used to be the kitchen.

“Oh, Kit, my heart goes out to you,” said Vivian, with tears in her eyes. “It looks like you’ve lost everything you own.”

“Yes,” said Kit with a lump in her throat. She had worked so hard to build her business, and now in the blink of an eye it was gone. “But at least there were no deaths. My family is safe. For that, I am grateful.”

“Why did you come back from the castle so soon?” Vivian had arrived with a broom in her hand and started sweeping the floor.

“Lord Tolin lifted Parker’s sentence,” said Kit.

“He did? That is great,” said Vivian. “So, he isn’t such a bad guy, after all.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” Kit bent down and started picking up shards of broken pottery.

“What do you mean?” asked Vivian. “He sounds like he cares.”

“I wish he did.”

“There is something you are not telling me.” Vivian stopped sweeping. “Now spill it.”

“All right.” Kit stood and placed the broken shards atop what was left of the counter. “I found myself very attractive to Lord Tolin. He seemed nice. And caring, like you said.”

“And?” Vivian raised a brow.

“We made love,” Kit blurted out, looking out the remnants of a window rather than at her good friend.

“You did?” Excitement resounded in Vivian’s voice. “That’s a good thing. Isn’t it?”

“I thought it was,” said Kit with a sigh. “I thought he had feelings for me the way I did for him.”

“So...he doesn’t?”

“Nay. I found out he only coupled with me because he felt sorry for me.”

“Oh, Kit!” Vivian dropped the broom and rushed over to hug Kit. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Kit faked a smile and pushed away. “I need to get my life back together.”

“You know that Willis and I will help you however we can.”

“Thank you for saying I can stay with you for now. But I need to find a home, because after Twelfth Night my son and the others will return. We need a place to live.”

“Won’t Lord Tolin let you stay at the castle until you rebuild?” asked Vivian.

“I didn’t ask him directly,” said Kit. “Even if he would, it doesn’t matter. I have no money so rebuilding my bakery is out of the question.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I wish I did. Actually, I wish we could find the thief who set my place on fire. Lord Tolin said he’d be punished. Mayhap even killed for what he did.”

“Oh, Kit, no. No one deserves to be killed. Do they?”

“That’s an odd thing for you to say. I thought you’d be more adamant about having the man who ruined my life punished for his actions.”

Vivian wrapped her arms around her and looked to the ground.

“Vivian? What is it?” asked Kit.

“Kit, I’m not sure how to say this, but I think you need to hear it.”

“Hear what?” Kit became impatient. “Tell me if you know something.”

“It has to do with the man who caught your place on fire.”

“Do you know who it is? Tell me. I need to find out. He needs to be punished.”

“I’m afraid to tell you.”

“Why? What does that mean? Please, Vivian.” She laid her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I need to know. I deserve to know.”

“Yes, I suppose you do.” Vivian sniffled and then continued. “It was Willis, but it was an accident, I swear.”

“Willis did this?” Kit pulled back her hand. She felt in shock to hear that Vivian’s husband could do such a horrible thing to her. “I know he thinks Parker is a thief and doesn’t want you by me, but this is going too far.”

“It’s not what you think, Kit. Honest, it’s not.”

“Then why don’t you tell me exactly what it is.” Kit was so furious that she felt like marching over to Willis and strangling him right now.

“He did it for me.”

“That makes no sense.”

“He wanted me to have some fresh bread for Christmas but you weren’t here to bake it. I told him I didn’t need it, but he insisted. He came here one night to try to bake it himself. But I guess he fell asleep. He’s been so tired from working so hard lately. The candle fell over and then the bread burned, catching the place on fire. He was lucky to wake in time to escape without being burnt. He was the one to awaken the townsfolk, trying to put out the flames but he was too late. Can you ever forgive him?”

“I don’t know what to say.” Kit was so angry that she couldn’t even look at the girl. “How can I forgive something like this? Accident or not, the man has ruined my life!” Kit picked up the broom and started sweeping the floor.

“It wasn’t his intention to hurt you. Plus, he only did it for me. So I could have fresh bread.”

Kit let out a puff of air. “When has Willis ever done anything just for you? Why was this time so important that he couldn’t wait until I returned?”

“It was going to be a Christmas present for me since we are struggling and he couldn’t afford anything else. He has been trying to save money. For our family to live on.”

“What family? It is only the two of you. I have three others besides myself to support and feed. Now, because of him, all I have is this.” She looked over her shoulder and nodded at the rubble and continued to sweep.

“I’m pregnant,” came Vivian’s soft voice from behind her.

“What?” Kit stopped her sweeping and slowly turned around. “But you’ve been married for a while now and have had no children.”

“We didn’t think we ever would,” admitted Vivian. “After all, my brother Gerold never had children.”

“But your brother Crispin did. Parker,” she reminded the girl.

Tears filled Vivian’s eyes. Her hands went to her belly. “I am not even sure I will be able to carry this baby. I have been feeling ill lately.”

Kit’s heart softened for the girl. She didn’t want to forgive Willis, but she realized now his reason for breaking into her bakery. This baby that Vivian carried gave the two of them new hope. She couldn’t take that from them, no matter how much she was hurting.

“I forgive Willis,” said Kit, putting down the broom and giving Vivian a big hug. Over the girl’s shoulder she saw Willis appear from the shadows.

“I am so sorry, Kit,” said the man, looking like he truly meant it. “I haven’t been very kind to you and now I am the cause of all your misery. Thank you for saying you forgive me. Even if I do not deserve it.”

“Everyone needs forgiving at some time or another in their lives,” said Kit, walking over and hugging the man as well.

“I will do whatever I can to help you and your family,” Willis promised.

“Thank you,” whispered Kit with tears in her eyes.

“If you forgave Willis, then will you forgive Lord Tolin as well?” she heard Vivian ask from behind her.

The question made Kit’s insides twist into a knot. How could she forgive Tolin for using her and making her feel like a fool?

“I don’t know,” said Kit softly. “Mayhap everyone doesn’t deserve forgiveness after all.”