Lost in Me (Lost Duet #1)

Chapter Four

Shawn

Em has been standing at my office door for a while now. She is afraid to come out, and I don’t blame her, but I meant what I said. That fucker is not going to touch her. I will make sure of that.

I take a deep breath as I lean in and grab her hand. She tightens her hand around mine as I lead her down the hallway. We shut down the center. Everyone else has gone home. Rumors are already spreading about what took place between the man and me at the counter, but I don’t care about the rumors. I only care about Em and getting her to my house safely. At first, she told me no about staying at my house, but I convinced her to try it.

I respect her for standing up to me and saying no. Not many people have done that. They just normally agree, but even after what happened today, I can see the other Em starting to come back. The Em that has the balls to tell me no. She is quiet and distant, but she has always been able to keep boundaries.

I take a deep breath as we walk past the empty counter toward the front entrance of the building. I can see my car. Her ex would be stupid to still be here, but then again, he doesn’t seem that smart. He has no idea who I am or what I can do, but he will soon find out that I am not afraid of him. I don’t follow the law, and I will do anything to protect someone I care about. Em doesn’t know it, but I do care about her. I just don’t show my emotions very well. Most people think I am cold and heartless, which is partly true but I do have a heart and feelings, I just heavily guard them.

I tighten my grip on her hand as I push open the front door and force us both to take a step outside. As soon as she steps outside, she grabs my arm with her free hand and tightens her grip. Her trusting me, needing me, is doing something to me that I can’t fully explain.

Usually, the people who need me are addicts who want my drugs, but this is different. She is different. She needs me to keep her safe, not get her high. She needs me to comfort her and validate her, not lie to her like I do my buyers.

I take my free hand and put it over her hand that is now on my arm. “You are okay. I am right here, Angel,” I whisper as I force us both to start making steps toward my car. She wanted to drive herself, but I won’t risk her ex seeing her driving alone. He needs to know she is with me. It is the only way I will be able to keep her safe.

I look down at Em. She is taking deep breaths as I make it to my car. I quickly release my hold on her hand and open the passenger door. I look around as she slides inside, and I shut the door.

I look over at her car, which is parked next to mine. We have been parking next to each other for years. I see some dead rose petals on her windshield and a note. I quickly walk over to her car and grab the note. When I open it, my heart drops with the few words written in black Sharpie: “If I can’t have you, no one will.” I quickly rip up the paper and throw it on the ground. This guy is really getting on my fucking nerves.

I don’t like that this guy feels ownership over her. He doesn’t own her, and his dominance is not something I will stand for. I can tell he is used to people doing as he says. He is used to people being afraid of him. I am not afraid of him, in fact, he should be afraid of me.

I turn around and look at Em. She is looking at me through the window as I make my way around my car and to the driver’s door. I open the door and slide inside. “What about my car?” she asks me.

“I will have one of my guys get it,” I state calmly. I know all of this makes her on edge, and it also makes me on edge, but she doesn’t need to know that. Her ex has no problem challenging me and standing up to me, which I can tell will become a problem.

A man who doesn’t fear dying is a very dangerous man. I have known men like Em’s ex my entire life. They crave power and control just like I do. The only difference between me and them is that I have fucking lines I won’t cross. I will never lay my hands on a woman, unless she wants me to. I like pain with my pleasure, but I don’t have to have it if they aren’t into it.

“What about my things at my apartments?” she asks me. Her voice is calm and steady, but I can still hear the fear in her voice. I want to chase that fear away. I want her to feel safe with me, and I know she will. It will just take some time.

I sit back in my seat and look at her. Apartments? She just said apartments. Like more than one?

“Apartments?” I ask as I turn on my car and put it in “reverse.”

She slowly nods. “I switch between apartments,” she explains as if it is the most normal thing in the world. I know most of what her ex has done to her. It was all in her file I know I shouldn’t have read, but couldn’t help myself. She was such a fucking mystery, and honestly, she still is. It makes my heart hurt that she has been afraid to be in their own home.

It makes my blood boil knowing she doesn’t feel safe to the point where she can’t settle down and is always looking over her shoulder. I will show that with me, she has nothing to be afraid of. I will keep her safe, there is nothing I won’t do to ensure she has the life she deserves.

I don’t care what line I have to cross, lines mean nothing to me, laws mean nothing to me when it comes to her. When she looks at me, she sees right to my soul and doesn’t shy away. Fuck, I don’t deserve that look from her, but I am thankful for it.

I slowly nod as I back up and put the car in “drive.” I push down on the gas and quickly make my way out of the parking lot and onto the main road, heading toward my house.

We both sit in silence as I get onto the highway. One good thing about my house is I have security like a motherfucker. Her ex will not be able to touch her when she is behind those walls. I have guards and cameras. I am paranoid in every sense of the word, and right now I am validated that it is a good thing.

****

I pull up to the gate and roll down my window, pressing the button. “Mr. Cross, welcome home,” I hear a voice on the speaker.

“Thank you. Please get the guest room ready across from my room,” I state softly.

“Yes, sir, we will do that now,” the man states to the speaker.

I sit back in my seat as the gate begins to open. “This is your house?” Em asks, leaning forward and looking out the windshield.

I smile and nod. “Yes. This is my home,” I say with confidence. I came from nothing, and it took me years to get to this point, and yes, I did it by selling dope. I have worked hard for everything I have. Nothing was just given to me.

The money I make is what made it possible to open the center. I don’t regret how I got rich, and I don’t plan on stopping the way I make money either. I am good at it.

“Holy crap, it’s big,” Em continues looking out the window.

I allow a small chuckle to leave me. “Yes, I guess it is.” I like nice things. I like to spend my money on my community but also on myself. Whoever says money can’t buy happiness didn’t have money because I know it can buy happiness. It is lonely sometimes, but I have never had issues being able to fill my bed with women.

I know that makes me sound like an asshole, but that is what I believe. The more money I make, the happier I have become. It has been hard trying to find someone to share it with. All the women and people in my life seem to want something from me.

Em, though, is different. She has never asked for anything but a job, and she has done great work at the center. She works hard and has proven she wants to help others.

I slowly push down on the gas as I drive through the gate. As soon as we drove through, Em turned back and watched the gate close. She quickly turned back around as we made our way up the pathway toward my house. I pull around and park off to the side of the front door.

I quickly unbuckle my seat belt. Em does the same. She opens her door and steps out, closing the door behind her as she takes a few steps toward my house. I get out and close the door, making my way around the car and stopping beside her. I feel the need to touch her. I crave her warmth, her kindness. I take a deep breath as I lift my hand and rest it against her lower back, slowly starting to guide her toward the now-open front doors.

We quickly make our way up the steps and through the two big wooden doors. I lower my hand from her back and take a few steps in front of her. I slowly turn around. She is looking everywhere. Her eyes are wide.

“What’s mine is now yours. This is your home for the time being.”

She slowly nods and turns and looks at me. She slowly closes the distance I made between us. She stops in front of me. She is close enough that I can feel the heat from her body, which makes my heart race.

“Thank you, Shawn,” she says softly. Her eyes search mine.

“You’re welcome, Em. Let me show you to your room.” I try to calm down my heart.

She nods and smiles at me as I take a step back and quickly turn around, making my way down the long hallway toward the stairs. I can feel her close behind me as I make my way to the stairs.