Lost in Me (Lost Duet #1)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Shawn

One Week Later

I slowly and gently get onto the bed, pulling Emory into my arms. I gently place her against my chest and rest my chin on her head. I can feel my heart racing.

I look over at Ethan. He is leaning against the wall, looking down at his phone. He has been in charge of selling the mansion, and the others have been spending time packing everything and getting ready to move into the new house.

I found the perfect house right outside the city. It is placed right on the swap. The house is smaller than the mansion but still big enough that our family can continue to grow. At first, I didn’t want to make any decisions without Emory, but Ethan thought it would be good to have everything ready when she wakes up.

I agree with that. The last thing she will want to do is go back into the mansion, and I don’t blame her. Jesse took it away from both of us, but I have found a way to regain the power. There are no memories of Jesse in the new house, and by the end of today, everything should be moved out and brought to the new house. Everything will be unpacked except for the baby’s room because I know she will want to put everything in its place.

I tighten my hold on Emory as I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

“When you first came into the center asking for help, asking us for a safe place to talk about what you have lived through, I had no idea I would fall for you. That my heart would beat only for you. You came in like a storm into my life and destroyed everything I thought I knew.”

I feel the tears starting to build in my eyes as I prepare myself to continue. I watch Ethan as he slowly puts his phone away and leans against the wall, waiting for me to continue.

“I opened the center because of my mother. My birth father was an abusive prick who hit my mother and raped her. It took her years to escape him, and I had to do things to get him to leave her alone. I had to become the one thing society frowns upon. I had to become the monster to defeat the monster my birth father had become. I knew once he left that I wanted to make a difference and make a place where others like my mother could go and learn how to heal and process what they went through.”

I allow the tears to roll down my face. I feel my eyes locked on Ethan. I feel my heart starting to race with my words. The words that make the memories flood into my mind of my father and what I did to him.

I should have gone to prison for what I had done, but the world thought what I did was justified to save my mother’s life, and I believed that lie. That lie validated that I did good, but now I see it was another lie—to allow me to become who I was before Emory.

“I started dealing drugs because it gave me the money, power, and respect I needed to take care of my mother, and then as the years went on, I became addicted to the dealing. I promised myself I would never fall in love with a woman because if I fell in love, that meant I could get hurt, and I would never feel vulnerable again.”

For the longest time, I became cold and fucking heartless because I thought I was protecting myself from the heartache of disappointment, but now I see how fucking stupid that was. I see that not wanting love is what turned me into the one thing I hated most—my father.

Emory has shown me that love is not a bad thing. In fact, love is the only thing that really fucking matters in this life.

“For years, I kept that promise until the day you walked into the center. You walked in broken and scared. I took your file once you became a staff member because I had to know who you were. I wanted to know who the person was that made me question everything without needing to say a word. You were a mystery, a mystery I was afraid of at first.”

Emory came into the center and changed our lives. She changed the center. She became a beacon of hope for those who had none. She became the strong foundation for her clients. She became my everything long before I knew she was my everything.

“The first time I read your file, I came back home to the mansion and fucking destroyed five rooms. I couldn’t get the thoughts out of my head. I couldn’t get the words you spoke about Jesse’s abuse out of my head. I tried drugs, partying, and other women, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t get you out of my head.”

The harder I tried to get her out of my mind, the more I became consumed by her, her words, her scent, her smile, her eyes that I knew were looking right into my soul. All the walls I put up, the guard I put up, didn’t stand a chance with her.

“After reading your file for the first time, I started to watch you, and that is when I noticed you were also watching me. Listening to me, observing me, both of us trying to figure each other out without getting too close.”

I allow a smile to form across my lips at the memory of catching her looking at me the first time. She was so shy. She looked away so fast I thought she would get whiplash.

“But you. You brought down my walls and crashed into my heart. I didn’t want it at first, but the day your ex came into the center and you were shaking, I saw the trauma and abuse on your face. I knew that day that I would do anything, fucking anything, to make sure you never got hurt again.”

My heart races with the memory of Jesse coming into the center. That is the day everything changed—in a good way, and also in the way that led to her to this hospital bed fighting for her life and our baby’s life.

“Baby, please don’t leave me. I know you are tired. I know how easy it would be for you to let the cold darkness of death take you, but please, I am begging you not to give in because I need you. You are my everything, and I promise I will fight for you every day until my last breath.” I hear the anxiety, sadness, and begging in my voice. My words filled the room.

“You don’t know it because I haven’t told you, but baby, you have saved me. You have saved me every single day since you walked into the center. I felt drawn to you. You made me question everything. You make me want to be better, and for you I will be better. Just please, please don’t go,” I whisper, feeling my body shake against hers.

I tighten my grip on her as my tears fall down my face. I look up at Ethan and see he is kneeling in the corner, tears on his face as he watches Emory and me.

She has changed all of us without even knowing it, and I need to tell her. I need to tell her that she helped me heal from my own trauma. Her strength is what keeps me strong. Her faith is what gives me faith. Her love is what showed me how to love.

And I am not ready to let her go, yet we need more time. We have a whole new life to live together. A life that will be filled with laughter and so much love. I want to show her that life is more than what she has survived.

“I love you, my Fallen Angel, and I am right here. I am right here,” I state softly.

I look over at Ethan. He slowly stands up and quickly makes his way across the room. He comes up behind me and rests his hand on my shoulder, the only thing he feels he can do right now.

We both have been talking to Emory. Ethan has talked to her about me and the others and how he and I became brothers. Listening to him talk to Emory reminds me once again of the loyalty and love he has for me and the other men.

Ethan is guarded like me and rough around the edges, but underneath that is a good man with a big heart. He cares more than he would like to admit or show, but he has shown Emory, and over time, they have gotten to know each other. I know Emory has let down her walls a little with him, and I know she trusts him.

And over time, their friendship will grow, and I can’t wait to see him with our child. He will be a good uncle. The kid will be beyond spoiled between Ethan and Sherri.

Sherri has come by a few times, but I know that seeing Emory like this is hard for her. They have been so close for years, and I know Emory has shared a lot of things with her about what she has gone through.

But the plan is still for Sherri to be in our wedding, just like it is the plan for Ethan to be at my side. The plans are still the same, and as soon as Emory wakes up and is healed, we will say our vows, and we will make sure everything is how she wants it to be. She deserves to have the wedding of her dreams, and I don’t care what the fuck it costs, she will get whatever she wants. No questions asked.

“The deal went through with the mansion. Your things will be out by the end of the day, and I will make sure all yours and Emory’s things are moved to the new house,” Ethan states in a proud voice. He likes being in control, and I don’t mind giving it to him. I fucking hate dealing with all the ins and outs of buying and selling a house. The deal went through fast with the new house, but when you offer cash and a little more than what they are asking, how the fuck can they say no?

“Thank you,” I state softly, feeling Emory’s heartbeat against my arm. I like the feeling of her heart. It makes my anxiety go down a little, knowing it is still beating. She is still here with me even though she hasn’t woken up yet.

The doctors finally put in a monitor that allows me to hear the baby’s heartbeat, which is also helping lower my anxiety. They are both alive and now safe, and that will never fucking change.

“No problem, brother. Emory will love the new home. You both will be happy there,” he states softly.

“You know you are staying with us. It will be your home as well,” I remind him.

“Really?” he asks in a surprised voice. Like I would want him to be anywhere else. I need him by my side.

“Yes,” I state with confidence. There are no doubts, no second thoughts.

“Thank you,” he whispers. I can hear the emotion in his voice.

“No need to thank me, Ethan. You are family. It is that simple,” I state calmly.

He doesn’t respond, but I know my words are affecting him. Of course he will be staying with us. I need to make sure my family is safe, and that includes him.

What has happened with Jesse will never fucking happen again. No more games, ever. If anyone threatens my family, they will die. No second chances.