Lost in Me (Lost Duet #1)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Emory

I hear Shawn in my head. I have heard every word he has been saying for the last few minutes. I feel his arms tight around me and his chin resting on my head.

I feel his heartbeat against my body, rapid and unsteady. I feel his anxiety, fear, and worry radiating off him in waves. Crashing waves.

I slowly lift my hand and rest it on his arm, which is wrapped tightly around me. I feel his entire body stiffen against me. I feel him take a deep breath.

“Shawn,” I whisper, barely able to get the words out. My entire body hurts. My heart hurts. I slowly lift my other hand and gently rest it on my stomach. I slowly open my eyes and see Ethan now at the foot of my bed. His eyes are looking me up and down. I feel the tears building in my eyes. “The baby,” I whisper.

Shawn tightens his grip around me as I slowly lift my head and look at him, forcing him to pull back a little. He looks down at me, our eyes deadlocked as we both allow tears to escape our eyes.

Shawn hasn’t responded to me. I feel the anxiety and fear start to build in me as I tighten my hand on his arm.

“Emory,” Shawn whispers, making my heart skip a beat. I have missed his voice. I have missed him.

“Shawn, the baby,” I state in an anxious voice.

“The baby is okay. You are okay,” Shawn states, continuing to look at me. I can hear it in his voice. He is trying to convince both of us.

“Are you okay?” I ask him, needing to know. I don’t know what happened between him and Jesse, but I need to know that Shawn is okay.

I see a small smile form across his lips. He slowly nods as he continues to search my eyes. “Yes, Angel, I am okay,” he states softly, making my worry melt away.

“Jesse?” I state, looking back at Ethan. He takes a deep breath.

“He is dead. No one will ever find him, Emory. You don’t have to worry about him anymore,” Ethan states softly. I feel a weight leave me with Ethan’s words. I feel relieved to know Jesse is done, that he is never coming back, that he can’t hurt me or the baby or Shawn or anyone else we love and care about.

I feel more tears as I look back up at Shawn. He lifts one of his hands and gently rests it against my face as he leans down, connecting his lips to mine. I melt into him. I close my eyes as the tears continue. I open my mouth, feeling his tongue enter my mouth once again, tasting me.

I taste him, I smell him, this is real, this is real. I slowly pull back, just enough to look at him. I open my eyes and look into his gorgeous eyes. “This is real, right?” I ask in a hopeful voice. Please don’t let this be a dream. Please, God.

“Yes, Angel, this is real,” he states calmly, validating that we got out. That we all survived.

I take a deep breath, causing my entire body to tense and stiffen as the pain radiates through my body. Shawn lowers his hand from my face. I know he is worried about me and the baby.

“I will go get the doctor,” Ethan states, wasting no time, turning and making his way to the open door. “We need help in here, please. She is in pain,” Ethan states in a calm but urgent voice.

I turn my head when I hear people talking and walking in. Ethan takes a step to the side, allowing several nurses and a doctor to walk into the room. They stop at my side, looking at the monitors, and then they look me over. I feel my heart racing, trying to remember exactly what happened.

“Emory, how are you feeling?” the doctor asks me in a calm yet concerned voice. He is not the only one who is concerned. I am concerned about what happened to me, the baby, Ethan, and Shawn. All of it is a blur. I don’t remember Ethan and Shawn coming into the room. Everything went black.

“I hurt. My whole body hurts,” I state softly, feeling my body tense again with my words.

“And your head?” the doctor asks.

“Fuzzy,” I whisper.

“Do you remember what happened?” the doctor asks. His tone is making me more concerned. I can tell he knows what happened, or at least he thinks he knows what happened to me by my wounds.

“Yes, pieces of what happened. My ex, Jesse, he…” I stop and take a deep breath.

The doctor reaches out his hand, which makes me flinch as he rests his hand on my leg. Shawn tightens his arms around me. His heart is racing as fast as mine. I hate that I flinched. I hate that what Jesse has done to me has made me feel like I have taken ten steps backward instead of ten steps forward.

I can feel it in my body. I can hear it in my thoughts: the trauma, the wounds, all of it has been brought back to the surface once again, taking me as its slave. It is not the outside wounds the doctor should be worried about. It is the wounds inside me that should have him concerned, but he doesn’t know, and I am not going to tell him.

“It’s okay, Emory, you are safe here. It is normal for there to be memory loss,” the doctor states in a confident voice, making me relax a little.

“Okay,” I whisper, not knowing what else to say. I don’t like being here in the hospital. This place reminds me of Jesse. Reminds me of all the times I came to the hospital to get treated, telling my lies to cover up for Jesse.

“I need you to take it easy. It is very important for you and the baby,” the doctor states in a stern but gentle voice.

“Okay,” I state softly, just wanting him to go, wanting all of them to go. I hate being the center of everyone’s attention. I don’t like everyone staring at me, wondering what I went through and how I survived, because honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know why I am here or the baby is still here, but I am so grateful.

“We will be in to check on you from time to time, but it looks like you are already in good hands,” the doctor says, smiling at Shawn.

“I am in good hands.”

“I am happy to see you are awake. If you need anything, just press that red button. I will get you some pain medication.”

“Thank you.”

The doctor nods, turns, and walks out of the room. The nurses smile at me, then follow behind the doctor. I rest my head against Shawn’s chest and take another deep breath. I close my eyes as his scent and heart start to calm me down.

I am safe. I am safe. Jesse is gone, and he is never coming back. Jesse is gone, and he is never coming back.

****

I slowly set down my sandwich and lean against the headboard of the bed. Ethan and Shawn went to get coffee. I slowly turn and look out the window. It is raining, but I can tell it is warm out, the clouds teasing us.

It will take me time to understand what happened and be able to remember everything, and honestly, I don’t know if I want to remember. It might be better for the baby, Shawn, and everyone else if the memories of that room after he started beating me just stayed hidden.

I look back down at my tray and grab a carrot. I slowly open it and take a few small bites. I know I need to eat, but everything still hurts. Just breathing hurts, but I think that is the point. Jesse wanted me to hurt. He wanted me to suffer, but in the end, I didn’t submit. I didn’t give him the one thing he was chasing at the end. I stood my ground and was willing to die for what I believed in.

I turn my head and watch Ethan and Shawn walk into the room. Both are smiling and laughing. Shawn quickly makes his way over to the side of my bed. He leans in and kisses my forehead. He pulls back a little and looks at me. “I can’t wait anymore,” he says. For the last hour, Shawn and I have been talking about our wedding and not knowing if we can wait until I am fully healed to have it. I am glad to hear he can’t wait because honestly, I can’t either. I want to marry him. I want to vow myself to him. I want to make sure that in this life and the next, he is mine, and I am his forever.

“I can’t either,” I whisper, continuing to watch him.

A gorgeous smile forms across his lips. “So I did something,” he states, not being able to hide his joy. It is nice seeing him happy and not on edge.

“What did you do?” I ask, tilting my head to the side. Shawn is always up to something, and I have learned it is always something good. I never have to worry about him hurting me or making me do something I don’t want to do.

“I got the chapel ready for us,” Shawn states, his smile getting bigger.

“The chapel?” I ask in a confused but amused voice.

“Yes. It is time you become my wife,” he states in a low, confident voice, making my heart race.

I feel the tears building in my eyes, but this time it is for good reason. I slowly nod and set down my carrot. Ethan takes my tray as the nurses come into my room. Shawn continues to smile and back away a little, giving the nurses the room they need to unlock the wheels on my bed. They begin to roll me out of the room. Shawn grabs my hand and walks beside me. I don’t need to look for Ethan. He is already at my other side as the nurses continue to roll me down the hallway toward the chapel.

The nurses roll me into the chapel, and it is covered in flowers and hanging lights. The tears roll down my face as I look around the room. Shawn tightens his grip on my hand as I look forward and see the pastor standing at the front of the room. He is smiling, holding a bible in his hand.

My heart continues to race as the nurses stop me in front of the pastor. Ethan stays by my side as Shawn continues to hold my hand.

“Are you ready, Angel?”

“Yes”

“Hello, Emory.”

“Hello.”

“We are all so happy you are awake.”

“Me too.”

“Okay, Shawn, you can take it from here,” the pastor says, taking a step back. I turn my head and watch Shawn turn to me, and then he kneels down to where his eyes are the same level as mine. I see nothing but love and desire in his eyes.

“Emory, my Fallen Angel, I love you so much, and I promise to spend the rest of my life earning the love you give. I promise to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much you mean to me. I will forever be your anchor, your strong foundation. I promise until my last breath and even in death, I will love and protect you,” he states with confidence.

I watch the tears escape his eyes and roll down his face as he tightens his grip on my hand. He lifts his free hand and places it gently on my stomach. I lift my free hand and place my hand on top of his.

“Shawn, I never thought I deserved to be loved. I thought of myself as a ghost. A person no one cared about or needed. You have shown me that I am worth it, that I am valued, and I am loved. You have shown me what love is supposed to be. I will spend the rest of my life reminding you that you are a good man. I will spend the rest of my life being your soundboard. I promise until my last breath, and even in death, I will love you,” I whisper through my tears.

There are so many more words we could say to each other, but we don’t need to. We will have the rest of our lives to share the words and show each other how much our love is true.

Ethan leans in and reaches out his hand with two rings. I feel my heart racing more as Shawn and I lift our hands and grab them from Ethan’s hand. Shawn gently takes my hand and places the ring on my finger.

I take a deep breath as I reach out, grab his hand, and gently place the ring on his finger.

“I love you, Angel,” Shawn states softly.

“I love you too,” I whisper.

Shawn leans in and connects his lips to mine. His sweet taste on my lips mixes with his and my tears. I open my mouth, feeling his tongue gently enter my mouth. I close my eyes and lean into him, feeling the love and safety.

This is what love is supposed to be. This is what it is supposed to feel like.