Lost In The Dark (‘Lost’ #1)

CHAPTER 7

ADDY

I was so relieved when the private plane, which our family apparently owned, touched down in New York, later the next night. I had never been on an airplane before, and I knew if the circumstances had been different, I would have found the entire thing exciting, especially the take off and landing, but the truth was, I was so exhausted I had barely registered much of it.

After waking at four A.M. that morning we had watched a movie, during which Asher and Eli had nodded off pretty quickly, but I had been petrified to fall asleep again. I just didn’t have enough fight in me to face whatever memory came next. Not yet.

Later that morning the guys had ordered breakfast, which I had picked at, then we’d gotten ready and packed up our belongings.

Max met us at the police precinct for my witness interview. We talked about my demand to see the tapes which had been found in the senator’s basement, but that had been before the memories started to return, and now I had changed my mind. There was no way in hell I could survive watching those tapes now.

Just the mention of it being a possibility was messing with my head, and by the time the detective, from the day before – who I feared and hated in equal measure - had shown us into the interview room, I had been too worked up and anxious to handle any of the questions put to me. Just being in the station again had terrified me and I was sure I would be rearrested at any moment.

Then the detective started in with his questions. I told him what I could – what I had remembered – but it wasn’t good enough for him. He lost his temper after my fifth answer of ‘I don’t remember’ and started yelling at me that I was lying again, just as he had the day before in the multiple interviews I endured with him.

Max had stepped in and ended the whole thing, but by that time I was in the midst of an anxiety attack, shaking, sweating, and curled up in a ball rocking under the table.

It had taken Asher and Eli even longer than before to talk me around, and by the time Eli carried me on to the private jet, I had been an exhausted, emotional mess.

My brothers had tried hard to encourage me to eat once we were on the plane, but my stomach was in knots with all of the anxiety and I couldn’t face food. Then they tried to get me to rest and that had terrified me.

I had spent the entire flight staring blankly out of the window as the two memories I had recalled played over and over again in my head. By the time we touched down I was ready to crawl out of my own skin, and I felt like I was losing my damned mind.

“Addy?” Asher pulled my attention to where he now stood in the aisle above me. “I just want to make you aware I have security outside, okay? Kane is there. He’s our head of security, and he’ll be your personal protection if or when you’re ready to leave the house alone. There’s also four other men with him. They might look a little intimidating at first, especially since they’re armed, but they’re all good men, and they’re there to protect us. They would never hurt you.”

“Okay,” I nodded, but I was already beginning to tremble again. Intimidating looking men with guns. Just that thought had me right back in the middle of the memory of that warehouse.

“It’ll be okay, sweetie. We’ll be right at your side the whole time,” Eli added as he stood and peered over his brother’s shoulder. “You want me to carry you again? You look so exhausted.”

“I c-can walk. I’m okay,” I assured him even though I felt about as far from okay as I’d ever been. I felt like I was crumbling into pieces with every second that passed, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

“Come on then. Let’s get you home.” Asher held his hand out to me and I took it, too afraid to step off of that plane alone. I needed them both at my side if I was going to keep moving. Keep breathing, even.

Asher led me carefully down the steps of the plane and out into the cool evening air. My injuries were making movement awkward and painful and my wrist throbbed angrily. I needed some of the pain pills the hospital had given me, but they had been lost in the chaos of my arrest. I was trying to cope without them, but the more tired I became, the harder that was.

I dare not look at the cars and men waiting at the foot of the steps on the runway for us. Instead I kept my focus on Asher who was in front of me. I felt reassured knowing Eli was right at my back too.

“Boss. Everything okay with the flight?” A deep, slightly raspy voice asked as we got on to the tarmac. Instinctively I positioned myself behind Asher as much as I could, while still holding his hand. Eli came to my side and wrapped his arm around my back supportively.

“All good. We’re just glad to be home,” Asher sighed. “Is everything okay at the house?”

“Fine. Adam has everything ready and he cooked in case you haven’t eaten. I arranged the extra security,” the stranger confirmed.

“Extra security?” I looked to Eli with worry.

“We need to be careful until we know who took you, Addy. The extra security is just a precaution,” Eli assured me.

“You think they’ll c-come after me?” I asked, my voice getting higher and higher as my panic soared.

“It’s unlikely,” Asher said firmly as he turned so he was facing Eli and me. “But we’re not taking any chances with your safety. I want you to feel secure in our home, okay?”

“And I w-will be, right? Secure? They c-can’t get to me…can they?”

“No one can get to you in that house,” the strange voice spoke up. He stepped forward and I looked up to take him in. He was as tall as Eli, maybe a little taller, and built with muscles on muscles by the look of him in the form fitting shirt he was wearing. His shoulders were huge and twice the width of my own, and hanging from them was a gun holster, with a gun at his hip. “We have the best security money can buy, and every man under my charge is highly skilled and trained. You’re safe there,” he continued as his eyes met mine. They were wide with long, thick eyelashes, but it was the color I couldn’t take my eyes from. They were green, dark green, with small fecks of amber and brown. I’d never seen eyes like it, and they were focused entirely on me at that moment.

He coughed and tore his gaze from me, looking antsy as he ran one of his huge hands through his messy chestnut colored hair. I caught a glimpse of tattoos up his right arm, but he moved too quickly for me to make out what they were of.

“Addy, this is Kane. He’s a good friend of mine from my time overseas. He takes care of the security of our home and of the New York office. He’s also going to be your personal protection for now,” Asher introduced. I looked up at Kane again. There was no question of him being a handsome man, but he was also intimidating as all get out, and I had no intention of ever leaving the house alone if he had to come with me. No thank you.

As if he heard my thoughts, the blank stare on his face turned into more of a scowl and I instantly retreated back behind Asher. I would have hated to be impolite before all of this, no matter the situation, but it seemed that was just another part of me I’d let go, because I had no intention of making nice with growly, scary Kane.

“We should get Addy to the car. She’s tired. It’s been a heck of a day,” Eli suggested, and Asher nodded. I was grateful, when we started moving, to find Kane had disappeared. I looked around us as we moved towards the large black Range Rover. There were several men that I could see surrounding us at various points, all with gun holsters, some visible, some tucked under jackets, but all obvious even to me, who was pretty clueless.

I found myself in the back of the car, nestled between Eli and Asher. Kane jumped into the driver’s seat and another guy sat in the passenger seat, then we were moving. I glanced behind me and saw a black SUV following right behind us, obviously with the other security guys inside.

“You s-said overseas?” I began as I looked to Asher. I was desperate to talk about something that wouldn’t make me think of the danger I feared I was in. Would those monsters really come looking for me again? “In the military, right? Is th-that what you meant?”

“Yes. I was a SEAL. Kane was an army ranger and we worked several missions together,” Asher explained, but each word seemed to make him more and more tense and I realized quickly it wasn’t a topic he wanted to talk about. “How are you feeling?” he asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Okay,” I shrugged.

“How’s your wrist? The doctor who saw you at the police precinct said you should see a doctor when we got home for more pain meds,” Eli said.

“That’s not necessary. I can just take some aspirin. It’s not that bad,” I lied, but I definitely didn’t want any more doctors poking at me.

“You need to tell us if the pain becomes too much. I can have our family physician come to the house. You don’t have to face the hospital again,” Asher told me, and I nodded.

“How far is your place?” I asked.

“ Our place,” Eli corrected. “It’s your home now, sweetie, for as long as you want it to be.”

“It’s about forty minutes outside of the city. We wanted to have some land around the house when we designed it,” Asher added.

“You designed it? It’s not your family home?” I asked with surprise. I just imagined they’d inherited some old, dusty mansion.

“We moved out of our family home as soon as I turned eighteen. We still own it, but our house is much more modern and relaxed. We can show you the family home too though. We were thinking about selling it,” Eli explained.

“It doesn’t hold many happy memories for either of us,” Asher added.

“Then I don’t really care about seeing it. I just want to see your home,” I replied. I didn’t know my father, and never would now, but from everything they had both told me, the guy had been a real piece of work. I had no intention of trying to know who he was more than that. I had grown up never knowing or wanting to know who my father was, and that hadn’t changed. Having Asher and Eli was enough for me.

***

I had zoned out for a while as Kane navigated the car through the city traffic and then further and further away from all of the hustle and bustle. There was just so much swirling through my mind, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t control my thoughts. They had turned into a runaway train inside of my head, flashes of the memory and nightmare playing over and over between images of that detective yelling at me about murder. All of that, mixed with the physical pain I was in was just becoming more than I felt able to cope with and I could feel myself breaking, but I tried hard to hold it together, at least on the outside.

I had seen the way Asher and Eli were continually glancing to me, their faces filled with strain and worry. They looked completely exhausted and stressed out, and that was all because of me. I didn’t want to make it any worse for them. I had put them through enough in just the two short days they’d known me.

“Here we are,” Asher spoke up, startling me from the darkness within, that I had been drowning in. I looked up and saw a well lit modern house, surrounded by tall iron fences. It was dark so I couldn’t make out the grounds around it, but it was clear the fence enclosed a huge area of land.

As we turned onto the driveway that led to the gates, Kane opened the window and pressed his hand to what looked like a box on the gate post, then the tall gates started to slide open, allowing us access.

I gasped as I took in the house we were now getting closer to, as Kane drove up the gravel driveway. House was not the right word, I realized. This place was huge! It was a modern design, and very angular looking. I could see huge windows on the ground floor and wondered how beautiful they must make the downstairs of the home on a bright, sunny day. Two other floors were visible above, the entire structure looking almost like huge boxes stacked stylishly on top of each other.

It wasn’t really my style. I tended to appreciate older buildings with pitched roofs and plenty of craft work detail, but this modern structure was so strikingly different to anything I had ever seen, it really captivated me.

It was dark out now, so I couldn’t see the grounds very much, but there was lighting in areas and I saw a few pretty flower beds, with flowers blooming even though we were coming into winter. It really did seem like the most beautiful home, and I hadn’t even been inside yet.

“The property is patrolled constantly by our security team and we have cameras and very tight security systems in place. You’re going to be safe here, Addy,” Asher assured me.

“D-do they come in the h-house?” I stuttered as the thought struck and terrified me. “The….the security? Do they live i-in the house?”

“No. Kane has a cottage on the grounds and he’s the only one who lives on the property permanently. There is a security building at the back of the property where the other guys are based and work out of, but they don’t live here,” Asher clarified.

“Kane is the only one you’ll see in the house, but you’ll soon see he’s like family,” Eli added. I glanced to the front of the car and studied Kane again. He was just so huge and imposing. I couldn’t ever imagine being comfortable with him. “Adam and Jordan live with us too. Remember we mentioned them?”

“Your friends,” I recalled the mention of them back at the police precinct. “They live here?”

“Yes. Adam is our house manager. He handles things here for us while we try to manage the business. Jordan works as a personal trainer in the city, so you won’t see him as much.”

“They’re good men, Addy. We’ve known them since we were all little kids. They’re more like our brothers than just friends. We trust them with our lives and you can too. We would never have brought you here if we didn’t know one hundred percent that you will be safe and well cared for,” Asher added, obviously sensing my nerves.

“Do they know…that I’m coming, I mean? Will they mind my being here?” I asked as I started to wring my hands together anxiously.

“They know, sweetheart, and they’re excited to meet you. Everything will be okay. I promise.” Asher placed his hand over both of mine to still them as he spoke. “I know it will take time for you to believe this, Addy, but we’re here for you. You can trust us. We’ve got you.”

My eyes were glassy as I looked up and met the honesty in his. He meant every word. I knew that. They both did every time they told me they’d take care of me, or keep me safe, or at least I believed they did. At that point in my wild, messed up life I needed to put as much trust into them both as I could because the simple truth was, I had no one and nothing else to return to or rely on. They were all I had. I just hoped like hell my instincts were right, because I couldn’t afford to dig myself any further into the disaster my life had become. I needed someone to help pull me out, not bury me deeper.

I nodded to Asher; my eyes locked on his. It was a pretty pathetic response to his immensely kind words, but it was all I could manage. I knew I must trust them both at least a little, as I had come all of this way with them, but I wasn’t ready to say that yet. It would take time, as Asher had said.

“Let’s get inside. I can’t wait to eat whatever Adam cooked. The food in Vegas sucked!” Eli declared, instantly lightening the tenseness of the moment.

“You hungry, little dot?” Asher asked.

“Little dot?” I looked to him with question.

“It suits you. You’re tiny,” he teased.

“Hardly,” I scoffed. “I’m taller than most women.” At five feet seven I had always towered over the petite girls in high school and college, and I had hated it. I always longed to be short and delicate - petite like my mom. Instead I’d always been pretty gangly and curvy. Definitely not petite! My mom had loved to point that out in her rages, screaming that I was too fat, or calling me ‘Lurch’ from The Addams Family.

Now I guessed my curves were gone. I hadn’t really looked in a mirror past my face, but I had felt my ribs poking out through my skin. My body had become skeletal in the years I had lost.

“You’re tiny to me,” he told me with a gentle smile. “But I won’t call you that if it bothers you.”

“It doesn’t bother me,” I assured him. After years of my mother’s abuse, I would happily take any name given to me affectionately, and I had to admit, I liked it when Eli and Asher had done that over the last couple of days. It felt good. “And I guess I do feel a little hungry,” I added, answering his original question.

Asher nodded and held his hand out to me, offering his help as we all slid from the back seat of the car and out into the cold night air. I shivered and Eli instantly appeared with his jacket, wrapping it tightly around my shoulders.

I looked up and thanked him, grateful for the warmth trapped in the jacket from his body heat.

“We’re going to need to get you some winter clothes. It’ll be snowing here before we know it,” he told me.

“We’re going to need to get her everything, and fast. She can’t walk around in those damned sandals forever,” Asher added with a sigh. I glanced down at the sliders I still wore with thick socks beneath and shrugged.

“They’re fine,” I told him.

“They’re not. You’ll have everything you need soon though.”

“I don’t need anymore things, Asher. You’ve already done so much,” I argued. “I’m unlikely to leave the house for a while anyway.”

“Addy, you’re our sister. We’re going to look after you whether you allow us to or not, including ensuring you have everything you need. It’s useless to argue,” Asher told me firmly, but with an indulgent smile on his face.

“I just don’t want you both thinking I’m h-here for what I can get. I…I’m not. I mean, I know I didn’t have anything to go back to, but I would have managed if I had to. I always have before. I…I came here to get to know you both. That’s all. I don’t need or expect you to buy me things,” I told them as I looked between them.

“We know that, shortcake, and we’re so relieved and happy you agreed to come here so we could know you too,” Eli agreed. “But now that you’re here we’re both determined to take care of you. Just let us, please. We’ve missed out on so many years that we could have been with you, looking out for you. We need to be able to do that now.”

“I’ve always taken care of myself,” I said. “For as long as I can remember.”

“Well now you don’t have to,” Asher argued. “You have us and we’re not going anywhere. Besides, you’re rich yourself now, Addy. We’re going to see to it that you get a third of everything our father left to us.”

“No!” I cried. “I…I don’t want that. He was your father…n-not mine. It wouldn’t be right.”

“He was your father too, sweetheart, and he failed you epically. I’m going to make damned sure he doesn’t fail you now he’s dead,” Asher said a little angrily.

“We can discuss this later. Let’s just get inside for now,” Eli suggested and I nodded eagerly. I was frozen, plus having this conversation with Asher, about money which I had no interest in, was only adding to my brain crushing stress.