Lost In The Dark (‘Lost’ #1)

CHAPTER 8

ADAM

I felt anxious as my phone alerted me to the fact someone had come through the front gates. It could only be Kane, back with Ash, Eli, and their new half-sister. No one else except the security staff had access, and none of them were due in until tomorrow morning.

“That them?” Jordan asked from where he was working on his laptop at the kitchen counter.

“It will be,” I replied. I had no idea why I was so filled with nerves, but I was. I had been ever since Ash called to tell me Addy would be coming home with them. I guessed it was because I could hear, even in just the short phone call with Ash, how important this woman was to the both of them and I wanted to make a good impression.

Ash had been my best bud since we were four years old. I had lived down the street from his mansion of a family home, and we’d started school together. Our moms had made friends in a period when Ash’s mom was on her meds and stable – which never lasted for long - and as a result Ash and I had been thrust together, and quickly became fast friends. Since then we had been tight, our relationship only strengthened by the fact our younger brothers had clicked when they were little and become buds too. Ash had always been there for me, especially when Jordan and I survived the accident that had killed our parents. I was only twenty at the time, still in college and planning on a career in the military, but my whole life was turned upside down the night of that car crash.

Jordan had become my responsibility, since he was only thirteen at the time. Add to that the back and shoulder injury I had sustained in the crash – which ended my dreams of a career in the military – and the crushing guilt I was carrying at the time, that I hadn’t been able to save my parents, and I had been a huge mess.

Within the first six months after the crash, Ash had started construction on the house I now called home. I was trying hard at the time to take care of Jordan, while also recovering from my injuries, but I had become a little too dependent on the pain pills the hospital gave me. Within a year I wasn’t caring for Jordan the way he needed me to. I was too wrapped up in my own guilt, grief, and the drugs that numbed it all. That was when Asher really stepped in. He moved us both into his newly built home and took care of my brother the way I should have. He tried to take care of me too, but I was too far gone. When the pills stopped coming legally from my doctors I turned to alternative drugs, and for years I had completely fucked my life up, consumed by my selfish guilt.

When the day finally came that I hit rock bottom, I arrived on the doorstep, beaten half to death looking for Asher, begging for help, and he was there. He got me into rehab and helped me through everything that came afterwards. Now, six clean years later, I knew I owed him so much more than just my life. He’d cared for Jordan like he was his own kid brother the entire time I’d been messed up. He'd kept hold of our family home for me, maintaining it and covering the bills, all so we would be able to go back there if we ever chose to.

The four of us – Ash, Eli, Jordan, and I – had become a family and I couldn’t deny being worried about how Addy being there might change the dynamic we had all found between us. I didn’t cope well with change. In fact it terrified me, and having this woman, who had been through hell for two long years, coming into our home was definitely going to change things.

“Should we go and meet them at the door? Introduce ourselves to the girl?” Jordan asked. He seemed to be excited about meeting Addy, unlike me.

“No,” I shook my head. “Ash said she’s really jumpy and nervous. I think it’s better if we let her come to us.”

“I guess so,” Jordan shrugged. “She must be terrified after everything that happened to her.”

“I don’t think we even know the half of it.” Asher had told us what Kane had found out before he left – that Addy had been taken and very likely held captive, judging by the injuries listed on her hospital records. Then when he called me after meeting her, he’d told me she’d been taken by sex traffickers and sold to the sick fuck she’d been arrested for shooting. He hadn’t given me any details, just that Addy was struggling to cope with everything she’d endured, especially on top of the injuries she’d gotten when a car hit her on the highway.

I was relieved she had agreed to come back with her brothers, to spend some time recovering at the house. I hated to think of her going anywhere alone and trying to cope with all she had suffered, and I knew it would have killed Ash and Eli too. Having her there, with all of us, where we could help her and try to take care of her, it was definitely for the best, even if it scared me too.

“Poor girl. Two years. I can’t even imagine,” Jordan said angrily. “I hope they catch the monsters who took her.”

“Kane has someone looking into it all. Ash wanted it all handled without upsetting Addy any more. They’ll catch the fuckers eventually.”

We both listened as the front door closed loud enough for us to hear, our conversation over. Neither of us wanted Addy to walk in and find us talking about her or her situation.

I busied myself checking on the casserole I had in the oven, while Jordan set to work tidying away his laptop and the client files he had been working on. He was currently working as a personal trainer at a high class gym in the city, and I knew he put a lot of work into creating the personal plans for each of his wealthy clients, despite the fact he didn’t exactly love his job.

He'd played professional football for several years before an injury wrecked his right knee, forcing him to retire way too early. Now he seemed a little lost. He’d gone into personal training because it just seemed a natural segue for him, but he hated it and we all knew it. We discussed it several times, but he had no idea which direction to go next, and until he did there wasn’t a lot any of us could do to help him.

“Can you set the table? I’m guessing Ash and Eli will be starving,” I said as Jordan finished packing everything into his back pack.

“They’re always starving,” Jordan laughed as he dropped his bag in the corner, then moved into the kitchen to gather plates and cutlery.

“You’re one to talk,” I threw back.

“Work hard. Eat hard. That’s my motto.”

“I don’t think that’s how the saying goes,” I chuckled.

“I don’t have time to play, so eating’s the next best thing,” He shrugged.

We both paused and looked up as we heard footsteps approaching. Eli walked in first, and right behind him was Asher, his arm wrapped around a pale, shaky, terrified, tiny woman who could only be Addy. She was clutching the corner of his t-shirt in one hand, with everything she had, her white knuckles visible even from where I stood.

“Hey,” Eli greeted us. He smiled, but it was tense and forced. He barely glanced at the both of us before he turned his attention back to Addy.

“Addy, this is Adam,” Asher nodded towards me, but Addy’s eyes were already on me, taking in every detail it seemed. I did the same to her. The first thing to strike me were her eyes – so very much like Eli’s, only hers were a little wider and framed with thick, long lashes. Her hair was also the same dark brown as Eli’s and it was very obvious she had taken after her father in her coloring. She was thin, too thin. Even in the baggy jeans and sweater she wore I could tell how unbelievably slight she was. Her hand, which clutched Asher, was nothing but skin and bone, and her face was so pale and gaunt looking. Dark rings circled her beautiful eyes and she looked exhausted.

She was still staring at me warily and I knew I likely made her even more nervous because of my size. I tended to scare people who weren’t traumatized, towering at almost six and a half feet and built with muscle. Working out was the way I handled stress and managed the days when all I could think about were the drugs. I spent most of my free time either in the home gym, or out running, and I knew as a result, I was a scary looking guy.

“And this is his brother Jordan,” Asher nodded to where Jord stood near the counter where he’d been setting out plates.

“Hey. Excuse my brother. He’s not so good with the talking,” Jordan joked, making me realize I hadn’t actually said anything when I was introduced. No wonder I’d freaked her out. I‘d just been stood staring at her. Fuck! I sucked at this people skills shit! “He is, however, a brilliant cook. Are you hungry?”

“We all are,” Eli cut in. “The food in Vegas was shitty.”

“Sit,” I said as I turned away from those captivating, terror filled, green eyes. “The food’s all ready.”

“I’ll grab drinks,” Jordan volunteered as he set the last plate at the counter. “Beers?”

“Sounds good,” Asher agreed as he started to lead Addy towards the counter. I saw the way her entire body was trembling, and just how much she was leaning on Asher as they moved. I wondered how extensive her injuries were. I knew her wrist was broken, and she was clearly nursing it against her chest, but she seemed to be in pain with every step she took too.

“Can I get you something to drink, Addy? We have juice, soda, beer, or I could make coffee if you prefer?” Jordan offered, the gentle smile on his face seeming to make her relax just a fraction. A weird feeling of jealousy hit me. I wished I could set her at ease a little like that, instead of scaring the crap out of her.

“Just w-water,” she replied so quietly it was barely audible. “If th-that’s okay, I mean?”

“Sure. No problem,” Jordan agreed easily as he turned to the refrigerator.

“This is your home now, sweetheart. You help yourself to anything you need or want. Adam keeps the kitchen well stocked for us all. You don’t need to ask, okay?” Asher told her. They were both at the counter now. Eli grabbed her elbow above her cast and helped her up onto the stool there, then they each took a seat at her side.

“Okay,” she nodded, but still looked very unsure as she glanced around her.

“If there’s anything you want and can’t find, let me know. I can grab it next time I go grocery shopping,” I added as I met her eyes just for a moment. They really were the most stunning eyes.

“Th-thank you.” She gave the barest hint of a smile as she stuttered the words to me, and it felt like a small victory.

I pulled the casserole and potatoes from the oven as Jordan handed out drinks.

“You sure I can’t get you anything else, princess?” Jordan was asking as I turned to set out the large steaming dish. He winked at her and she blushed, the tiny wash of color filling her pale face. She was obviously pretty innocent and na?ve if a wink made her blush that way, and suddenly the protectiveness I had heard in Ash’s voice, during our phone call, all made sense. He wanted to protect her and I got it, because now I did too.

“I’m okay…thanks,” she whispered.

I didn’t understand how anyone could look at her in the state she was at that moment and not want to care for her. She was terrified and obviously suffering physically. She kept on turning her head to check behind her, though no one was there, and she still shook violently. Her hand was under the counter and I was pretty sure she still clutched Asher’s shirt.

She had been through hell, and judging by how innocent and sweet she seemed, I had no idea how she had survived any of it. She had to have strength under all of the innocence and frailty I could see, or else there was no way she’d be there in that moment.

I admired her already, but more than that I felt this overwhelming need to take care of her and keep her safe. I guessed I was picking up from the vibes Ash and Eli were throwing out, both of them clearly worried sick and doing all they could to look after her. Whatever it was, I was no longer worried about her coming into our home and changing things. No. Now my only worry was for her, and whether we could all be what she needed to help her come through whatever came next for her.

I told myself that was because of Asher and Eli. They were my brothers and they clearly cared very much for their sister, so I was obviously determined to do all I could to help them look out for her, but deep down I knew the truth. It was so much more than that. This woman had called to me, deep in my soul. I may not know why or what it meant, but I was sure she was important to me after just one short, awkward meeting. It made no sense, and yet I couldn’t ignore the feelings within me. They refused to be ignored.

ADDY

The same words were running through my head continuously as I sat there on that tall stool, clutching the corner of Asher’s shirt like it would some how stop me from breaking completely. ‘I can’t do this. Coming here was a huge mistake.’

I tried to remain calm and, on the outside at least, I was sure I was doing a pretty decent job of hiding the meltdown taking place inside.

The crux of it all was fear. It had consumed me the minute we walked into the kitchen and I laid eyes on the two strange guys who were watching me with curiosity, but also kind, gentle smiles. They were in no way intimidating, and yet I was so very intimidated. It felt like being in the room with them was stopping me from getting a full breath in. My hands were shaking and the familiar tingling in my fingers and toes assured me more panic was building within me.

I trusted Eli and Asher enough to feel safe between them, yet that didn’t seem to be enough to reassure me of any feeling of safety around these two strange men.

Adam was the most physically intimidating. He was huge, standing a little taller than Asher, which was shocking enough, but his muscles! He was stacked with muscle on muscle, his biceps bulging under the snug fitting henley he wore. His jeans were hugging hugely wide thighs, and as he worked to set out dishes of food, I saw the way the muscles in his forearms flexed and just the sheer size of his wide, powerful hands. He could crush me in just one of those hands, I was sure, and that realization terrified me.

“It’s a chicken casserole,” Adam said, startling me from the terror I was drowning in. I snapped my eyes up to his face and locked my gaze on his intense, deep brown eyes. He wasn’t just watching me waiting for an answer – no, he seemed to be staring right into me and seeing everything I didn’t want anyone to see. He was definitely a handsome guy, with a strong jaw, covered in a perfectly groomed layer of stubble. His skin tone was dark, darker even than mine. His hair was short, shorn close to his scalp, the dark brown, almost black strands curling just a little. “Is that okay? Do you eat meat?” he asked when I didn’t reply and instead just sat staring at him, no doubt looking very much like a deer caught in headlights.

“We should have checked,” Jordan cut in, and I turned to where he was taking a seat, kitty corner to Asher, at the huge island in the center of the enormous kitchen. I jolted when I realized how close he was and leaned over, even further into Eli, not daring to relinquish my grip on Asher either. Eli placed his hand on my forearm and gave it a gentle reassuring squeeze.

I tried to force a breath into my oxygen starved lungs and looked back to Jordan. He was shorter than his brother by a few inches and no where near as built, but he still set me on edge. He was trim at the waist, but I could still see he was toned and muscled, in the shorts and close fitting t-shirt he wore. Even if he were less scary than his brother, he could still hurt me if he wanted to. I wouldn’t stand a chance against him and I knew it.

It was like all of my senses were on high alert, and every detail I noticed only increased the overriding fear inside of me that these two strangers could, and would hurt me. No amount of calm or logic that I fought to process would over take the fear. I had never known terror like it, even in my worst moments of panic attacks and abuse from my mother growing up. It was consuming me and I was powerless to get a grip.

“We could make something else? What do you like to eat?” Jordan asked. I dragged my eyes up from where I had been studying his expansive, strong hands, which clutched the beer bottle he held, and up to his eyes again.

His eyes were so much like his brothers, wide and deep, dark brown, but in the light, from overhead, I saw flecks of amber in them too. His face was softer than Adam’s, but still incredibly handsome. He was clean shaven and his hair was longer on top, and styled neatly. He was definitely the more preppy of the two, and I wondered how two men who looked so alike could be so very opposite. Where Jordan seemed all smiles and light, Adam seemed intense and dark.

“Addy? Are you feeling okay, sweetheart?” Asher asked me, startling me again. I jolted, then looked up to where he towered over me, even as we sat.

“I…I…” My voice was hoarse and shook so badly I could barely get the words out. “I’m t-tired,” I stuttered, keeping my peripheral on Adam and Jordan, too terrified to let them out of my sight.

“Just try to eat a little, then we can show you to your room, okay?” Asher suggested.

“I’m n-not hungry.” I looked to Adam as I said that, terrified he’d be offended that I didn’t want to eat the food he had prepared, but he just smiled a little. “Please,” I squeaked tearfully as I looked between Asher and Eli with desperation.

I was falling apart and I knew it. I just wanted to hold it together long enough to get away from Adam and Jordan though. I didn’t want them to see me any weaker than I already must seem to them. I was weak, but I didn’t want them to use that to their advantage.

“Maybe it would be better for Addy to get some rest first,” Adam spoke up, surprising me. I looked up to him again and this time he wasn’t smiling, he just looked concerned. I tried to smile just enough to take the worry from his face, but I knew I’d failed when he just looked even more concerned at my attempt.

“It has been a very long day,” Eli agreed. “Come on, shortcake. I’ll show you to your room and help you get settled.”

“We’ll be close by if you need anything, Addy. Just call for us, okay?” Asher added as I released his shirt and looked to him with apprehension. I wasn’t keen on the idea of leaving his side, but I knew it was ridiculous to admit I felt the need to have both him and Eli with me, so instead I just nodded as I fought with every tiny scrap of strength I had left to just hold it together a little longer.