Love in Slow Motion

14. Quinn

14 QUINN

“Quinn, it’s time to get up.”

I’m not sure if it’s the voice or the rumble of said voice under my cheek that wakes me. My eyes slide open, immediately finding the gray sky in the sliver of window high up on the wall. I process it all slowly, the light, the feel of the cold sheets, and the hard chest under my head.

I shoot up, my hand going to my mouth as my eyes meet Reed’s. He hasn’t moved, his body relaxed and open, his eyes watching me take in what must have happened. Sometime in the night, I snuggled up to him, my body acting on the instinct of being married for several years and sleeping next to a man who didn’t mind cuddling. Muscle memory. That’s what this is.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, the air feeling like it shouldn’t be disturbed before the sun is all the way up.

Reed’s expression doesn’t change. The blankets pool around his hips, wrapping around my legs as well. “Hey, it’s no big deal.”

“It is a big deal.” I throw the blankets off of me and climb off the bed. “You don’t deserve to be mauled by your sister-in-law. You trusted me, and I broke that trust. I’ll sleep upstairs with Chase tonight.” It kills me to say it, but it’s all true. He should have been able to count on me, but I was tipsy and emotional and exhausted, and look what happened.

“Hey,” he says, sitting up and draping his hands over his knees. “Nobody here feels mauled, okay? You were just doing what your body is used to. No harm, no foul.”

He’s being far too blasé about this. “You were harmed.”

“I can assure you, I wasn’t.”

I want him to stop arguing with me. I want him to hold me accountable. “Reed, stop trying to?—”

“No.” His voice is firm, heavy with finality. His eyes meet mine, and they’re steady. “I told you that you’re safe with me, Quinn, and I meant it.”

I can’t find words. It’s not just about the cuddling. I think…I think I want him to criticize me because he deserves better than being used as some kind of stand-in for Chase. He deserves better than being in this house with the two of us, being the only one who knows the truth.

I want to apologize again, for everything, but instead, I open the door, walk quietly out into the basement, and close the door between us.