Love in the Mix (Love in the Mix #1)

Chapter 34

thirty-four

LUNA

" C an we talk about something else? Please?" I beg, my voice strained with emotion. I desperately need to shift the mood to something lighter, something that makes me feel good, happy, and alive again.

“Alright, baby girl, we’ll play it your way for now,” Xavier says, tapping my hip so we can both stand. Collecting our plates, he whispers, “This isn’t over.” I shut my eyes as he walks past, the embarrassment of everything I just shared burning through my veins.

I open my eyes to find Sebastian staring at me intently, a flicker of mischief dancing in his jade eyes. Seizing the opportunity to change the subject, I clear my throat and ask, "Did you get a chance to listen to the song I gave you?"

Sebastian's face splits into a wide grin as he glances over at Xavier, who rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. "I did. A few times. I think?" Xavier responds, his tone uncertain.

"You think?" I press, my eyebrows rising in question.

"Well, I was listening last night when Bas decided to take a shower, but I might have fallen asleep at some point," Xavier admits, a hesitant smile tugging at his lips.

Sebastian bursts out laughing, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Big guy here was having some kind of naughty dream while your song played in the background," he teases, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

My cheeks flush instantly, heat spreading across my face and down my neck. Knowing that my song had that effect on him is hot. Xavier shifts awkwardly from foot to foot, his discomfort evident.

In a flash, Xavier's hand comes up behind Sebastian's head, smacking him playfully. "Ow! You dick! Why do you always hit me?" Sebastian yelps, his laughter ringing out through the kitchen.

"You deserve it," Xavier retorts, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He bends down, his lips grazing Sebastian's forehead.

"Yeah, I guess I did," Sebastian concedes, tilting his head back to capture Xavier's lips in a searing kiss, the plate in his hand forgotten.

Watching them, I feel my breath catch in my throat, my heart stuttering in my chest. The sight of these two powerful, dominant men locked in an intimate embrace instantly has my thighs clenching together desperate for some kind of friction. Seeing Xavier's imposing presence, looming over Sebastian, is a stark contrast to the way Sebastian takes control from beneath, his fingers tangling in Xavier's hair, pulling him closer. The tension crackling between them is almost suffocating.

When they finally pull apart, their eyes are heavy-lidded and hazy with lust. They turn to me in unison, their gazes full of heat and promise. Jesus fucking Christ.

"Why don't we finish cleaning up, then move this conversation to the studio?" Sebastian suggests, his voice low and rough with want. "Let’s play with your song, princess."

On shaky legs, I push myself up from the table, my nerves buzzing with a mix of excitement and nerves. The boys tidy up the kitchen quickly and we make our way down the long hallway to their studio. I can feel their eyes on me, tracking my every move. It's intoxicating being the focus of their undivided attention, knowing that they want me just as much as I want them.

But beneath the simmering desire, there's a deeper feeling there. One of connection, longing, acceptance. With Sebastian and Xavier, I don't have to hide or pretend. I can be myself, flaws and all, and know that they'll still want me, still choose me.

Stepping into the studio, all the anxiety that's been simmering just beneath the surface boils over. It eats at me from the inside out, gnawing at my nerves and making my stomach churn. I silently curse myself for bringing up the song in the first place, but what choice did I have? It was either this or continue talking about the endless ways in which I've managed to disappoint my family. Some choice .

Sharing the unfinished track with Sebastian on the flight to Colorado had seemed like a good idea at the time, a way to bridge the gap between us, to let him in. But now, as I stand here in the studio, the weight of my decision crashes down on me like a tidal wave. The memory of Ruby's betrayal is still fresh, the wound of her theft still raw and bleeding. In moments like this, when the doubt creeps in and the fear takes hold, I almost miss her. Almost.

No. Fuck that, I’m not going there tonight. I’m going to let myself ask for help even if the very thought makes my skin crawl. I pick at my cuticles, a nervous habit I've never been able to shake, as I try to quell the rising panic in my chest.

What if they hate it? What if they think it's terrible? The idea of Sebastian and Xavier, two incredibly talented and famous DJs, being the ones to tell me that I'm just not good enough is almost too much to bear.

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I should just forget the whole thing, go back to what I know, to what's easy. Sex is easy. Sex doesn't require me to bare my soul, to expose the deepest parts of myself to judgment. Besides, it's not like I need their influence or their help. I've made it this far on my own. Surely I can keep going, keep pushing, keep fighting.

"You know what, I've changed my mind," I say, the words tumbling out of my mouth in a rush. "This is the worst idea ever. Let's just go watch a movie or something." I start to move towards the door, my feet carrying me forward even as my heart screams at me to stay.

Sebastian is quicker. He moves to stand directly in front of me, his tall, solid frame blocking my escape and effectively trapping me between the door and the control board.. "Too late, princess," he chuckles, his green eyes sparkling with amusement and something else, something darker, more intense.

I open my mouth to protest, but the words die on my tongue as Xavier moves to stand behind me, his chest pressed against my back, his breath hot against my ear. "You’re not going anywhere, baby girl," he murmurs, his deep, rumbling voice sending shivers down my spine. "We want to hear what you've created. We want to be here for you, in every way possible."

The double meaning behind his words is not lost on me, and I feel heat pooling low in my belly, mixing with the nerves and the fear. Sebastian takes a step closer, his hand coming up to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing gently across my bottom lip. "Let us in, Luna, please?" he whispers, his eyes boring into mine, stripping me bare.

Being caught between them like this, their bodies so close, is almost too much to handle. Beneath the desire, beneath the want, there's something else—trust. I trust them, wholly and completely. And maybe, just maybe, that's enough. Fuck , please let it be enough. Xavier takes my hand, resting it on a single button on the control panel, and I push until the first notes fill the air.

The sensual beat fills the space between us as I feel Sebastian's arms wrap around my waist, anchoring me, steadying me. Xavier's fingers slide into my hair, his nails scraping lightly against my scalp, soothing me even as he sets my nerves alight.

The track builds, the pulsing beats filling the studio, and I let myself go. I surrender to the music, closing my eyes. The driving bassline seems to sync with the pounding of my heart, the layered synths mirroring the complexity of my feelings—the fear, the doubt, the hope, the longing. It's all there, woven into the fabric of the music, raw and real and unapologetically me.

As the unfinished track comes to an abrupt end, the absence of the final climax leaving a void in the air, I feel a mixture of frustration and longing wash over me. It's like a physical ache, the knowledge that this piece of me is missing. I’m incomplete.

Taking a shaky breath, my eyes flutter open to find Sebastian and Xavier watching me. Their gazes are filled with a mix of desire and understanding. They know, without me having to say a word, how much this means to me. How much I need to get this right.

Sebastian's arms tighten around my waist, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear as he murmurs, "Talk to us, Luna."

I lean back into his solid warmth, drawing strength from his unwavering support. "I'm stuck," I confess, my voice barely above a whisper. "I can't seem to find the right way to bring it all together, to finish it on a high note. This is the first thing I’ve produced since…” I trail off, not really wanting to get into this now. “I need it to be me.”

"Since when, baby girl?" he prompts gently, his deep, rumbling voice filled with concern. "Let us in."

I take a shuddering breath, the memories of Ruby and Dylan's betrayal still raw and painful, like shards of glass embedded in my heart. “You know Ruby’s song, ‘Celestial?’” I ask. I can’t meet their eyes, embarrassment burning through my veins.

“Celestial was our song. My song, really. I did all the mixing, put in hours on that one track and she just took it, and countless others,” I whisper, the words tasting like acid on my tongue. “But she wasn’t happy enough with just that. She convinced Dylan that I was holding them back. Isn’t that ridiculous? Me, the one working three jobs to support the three of us. Dropping everything to help her, the ungrateful bitch.” I pushed myself from between them, needing to move and burn off the energy that revealing the truth is creating.

“Dylan had access to everything, knew every password. We’d been together since I was sixteen. We were engaged, planning the wedding, talking about doing the van life thing, everything he wanted. I thought we trusted each other. I just wanted to make him happy.”

Slowing my pacing, I throw my hands up into the hair, closing my eyes tightly, at a loss for more words. How do I explain the feeling of betrayal? Remembering the feeling of opening my bedroom door and seeing the so-called love of my life balls deep in my best friend.

They didn’t have the decency to stop when they finally noticed my presence in the doorway. He just kept fucking her, and she looked and held my eye contact while an orgasm washed over the two of them. No words exchanged. I was frozen to the spot as they moved around the room, righting themselves and walking with purpose out of the front door. They cleaned out my savings as one last fuck you, and left me with nothing.

I startle slightly at the feeling of four arms surrounding me.

“I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I can't even imagine the pain you felt," Sebastian says.

"They were my best friend and my fiancé," I continue, the words pouring out of me like a dam breaking. "I trusted them with everything. My music, my dreams, my money, and they just… They just took it all and ran."

Xavier's hand cups my cheek, tilting my face up to meet his gaze. His amber eyes are blazing with anger and a fierce protectiveness that takes my breath away. "They had no right, Luna. No right to steal your work, your money, or your dreams.”

“Well, that didn’t stop them.” I laugh, trying to break some tension. It doesn’t work. His expression softens, some of the anger turning to understanding.

“I know it didn’t,” he murmurs, leaning in to press a tender kiss to my forehead. His tenderness kills me on the inside, crashing through any remaining walls I once had in place to protect myself.

“"But you're here now. You're creating again, pouring your heart into your music. That takes strength, baby girl. That takes courage.”

I let out a shaky laugh. "I don't feel very strong. I feel lost. Like I don't know how to trust myself anymore, how to trust my gut. I second guess everything, overanalyze it until I just give up. It’s all too hard to face sometimes.”

Sebastians arms tighten around me quickly before loosening again. “That's why we're here, princess. Let us help you. How can we do that?”

I lean into his touch, my eyes closing for a moment as I let his words wash over me. “I’m not sure. I’m not sure where to go from here. Usually I feel my way through a song. But I just don’t know what to feel anymore.” I open my eyes to see Xavier’s pensive gaze staring back at me.

“Close your eyes again,” he says. I obey as he moves in close. The front of his hard body, flush against my own, Sebastian’s hands move from my hips to Xavier’s, pulling him in closer to both of us.

“Now," Xavier continues, his breath hot against my skin, "imagine the peak, the moment when everything builds just to fall over. What does it feel like?"

I let my mind wander as I feel the sensations of the past year wash over me. Every negative emotion screams the loudest in my head. The betrayal of two of the closest people in my life left a black hole inside my heart as it destroyed everything in its path. My breath quickens and the panicky feeling threatens to consume me, but Xavier's deep voice cuts through the darkness, yanking me to the present. "Focus on the moment, baby girl. The here and now. The feeling of us, together."

I take a deep breath, letting the warmth of their bodies pressed against mine bring better memories and sensations to the front of my mind. Their hands and lips move across my body. Sebastian lays soft kisses on my neck while Xavier’s large hands run down my arms softly, twining our fingers together.

A soft moan escapes my lips as the sensations wash over me, the heat of arousal replacing the icy grip of betrayal.

"That's it, princess," Sebastian murmurs, his voice rough with want. "Let yourself feel the pleasure. Let us chase away those demons."

I nod, my breathing growing shallow as I lose myself in the memories. Seeing us tangled together, a mess of limbs, mouths, hands, everywhere all at once. I can hear the echoes of our moans, our gasps, our cries of pleasure.

Xavier guides my hand back to the control board. "Hold on to that feeling, baby girl," he instructs. “Now finish this.”

His words are easy to follow, my heart and my instinct kicking in. The beats begin building again, pulsing with a new energy, sensual and almost erotic. Continuing to layer more complex sounds over, the process flowing over me in a way that’s electrifying. With every tweak of a knob, every press of a button, I feel the song taking shape, transforming from what was, to what is.

With a few more adjustments, I stand and press play for the first official listen. Xavier grabs my hand, pulling me between them as we all stand and listen. The slow burn begins as the song builds. My body moves almost of its own accord, swaying to the beat, the rhythm pulsing through me. Finally feeling myself in my music again.

Sebastian’s hands find my hips, moving with me I can feel his hard cock pressed up against my ass as we move together. Xavier’s warm hand cups my cheek, bringing my gaze to his, using his thumb to brush my lower lip in a way that makes me ache to have him in my mouth, to taste him, tease him, and make him beg me to let him come.

It's as if the music has unlocked something deep within us, a primal need for each other that goes beyond what any of us have ever known. The final climax approaches, the beats pounding like a frantic heartbeat, that final sense of euphoria washing over me.

"Luna," Sebastian growls, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear, sending goosebumps down my neck. "You have no idea what you do to me. What you do to us."

"Now," I demand, the word falling from my lips on a plea. "Both of you, now."