Love in the Mix (Love in the Mix #1)

Chapter 33

thirty-three

LUNA

D inner with Sebastian and Xavier was the easiest thing in the world. We shared stories and laughter. I felt a warmth settling in my chest—a sense of belonging I hadn't experienced in years. Their childhood stories of mischief had me doubled over, tears of laughter streaming down my face. There’s something about their relationship that feels warm and comforting.

“What made you decide to leave home, to strike out on your own?” I ask, their eyes shift quickly to one another, and for the first time I feel like I may have crossed a line. “I’m sorry,” I say quickly. “That’s none of my business, I?—”

Xavier cuts me off quickly. “No, it’s okay, really.” I watch as he takes a deep shuddering breath before continuing, and Sebastian reaches out to rest his hand on Xavier’s shoulder. “We left because we didn’t really have a choice. My parents kicked us out.” I can feel my eyes widen in shock. After every story they just told me, it felt like they were the perfect family.

“Why would they do that?” I ask. Once again their eyes meet, and the sudden realization dawns on me. “They found out and kicked you out?” I screech, completely enraged on their behalf. I push up from the table quickly as they give me a quick nod, confirming my suspicion. “What the fuck is that?” I say, throwing my arms out wide, pacing back and forth.

I’m going to kill them . Who does that to their child?

“It was a long time ago, baby girl. It doesn’t matter anymore,” Xavier says. The smile on his face almost pisses me off. He’s so at ease with the entire situation that it makes me want to shake him.

“It matters to me,” I say through gritted teeth. Each word is a chore to get out calmly when all I want to do is scream. I take a deep breath, counting to ten, twice. When I open my eyes I see both of their smiling faces. “Quit smiling at me!” I snap. When I see their shoulders begin to shake in laughter I feel all the tension leak out of me. Xavier scoots his chair out, and pats his knee.

“Come here, baby girl.” The devilish smile on his face is absolutely irresistible and makes me move quickly. Lightly setting myself on his tree trunk thigh, trying to keep as much of my weight off of him, but that doesn’t last long. Xavier’s long arms wrap around my body, pulling me in close to his muscled chest.

Sebastian leans forward, his green eyes twinkling with mischief. "Now that we've shared our tragic backstory, it's your turn, princess."

I feel my body tense involuntarily. Xavier must sense it too, because his hold on me tightens slightly.

"Hey," he says softly, "you don't have to tell us anything you're not comfortable with."

I take a deep breath, trying to relax. These men have just shared something deeply personal with me. I feel like they only deserve it in return.

"No, it's okay," I say, meeting Sebastian's gaze. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, do you have any siblings?" Sebastian prompts, his voice soft and inviting.

"One brother. Jordan. The golden child," I answer, my tone tinged with a bitterness I can’t quite hide. I clear my throat before continuing. "My parents are... typical, I suppose." I see Xavier and Sebastian exchange a glance, a silent understanding passing between them. I sigh, my bangs fluttering as I lean back into Xavier’s hold. "Don't get me wrong, my parents are good people. They provided for us, made sure we never went without. I'm grateful for that, I truly am." I pause, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. "But we're just... different. They've never really understood me, not like they do Jordan."

I blink rapidly, trying to suck back the tears threatening to fall. "I'll never be like him, you know? I'm not going to be a doctor or a lawyer or someone they can brag about at dinner parties. I'm just... me. And that's always been a disappointment to them." My voice wobbles, years of pain and rejection bubbling to the surface. "It used to tear me apart, knowing that I could never live up to their expectations. But now? I've learned to just... not care. It's easier that way."

Xavier's fingers find their way under my shirt, rubbing small circles into my thigh. "Sometimes, not caring is the only way we can protect ourselves," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "Doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt."

I nod, blinking back tears as I place my hand over his, drawing strength from his warmth.

“Do you talk to them often?” Sebastian asks. The noise of his chair moving across the tile floor drags my attention. Sliding closer to us, his hand reaches out and rubs the base of my neck.

"Jordan and I keep in touch, but it's complicated. He loves me, but he's always been the peacekeeper, the one lonely bridge trying to keep the family connected. He doesn't want to risk losing my parents' favor by taking my side, but he still wants a place in my life." A sad smile tugs at my lips. "As for my parents, I haven't spoken to them in weeks. Not since the video of us went viral. They were… less than thrilled about it."

Xavier's grip on my waist tightens, his brow furrowing in concern. "What did they say, Luna? What happened?"

I shake my head, not wanting to burden them with the ugly details. "It's not important, Xavier. Really."

“It matters to me,” he says, so simply, casually throwing those words back at me. The breath in my throat knots. How did something so simple mean so much?

"They think I'm an embarrassment," I whisper, my voice cracking under the weight of my confession. "My mother… she—she called me a hussy.” A humorous laugh escapes me before I continue. “Can you believe that? A hussy, her own daughter."

Sebastian's incredulous laughter fills the room, but there’s an edge of anger to it. "A hussy? What century is she living in?” He trails off, shaking his head in disbelief. I try to laugh along with him, but it comes out more like a choked sob. "She actually said that to you? To her own child?" he asks, his voice tight with barely controlled rage.

“Yeah. It’s definitely not the worst thing she’s ever said,” I say with a nod, a tear escaping and rolling down my cheek.

“I’m sorry, baby girl.”

“It’s okay, I’m used to their indifference. My parents only wanted one kid, and only had the energy for one. They loved their little life, just them and Jordan, who is by the way the poster boy for the perfect child. Then I came along and ruined it.”

Sebastian continues to rub gentle circles on my back, his voice soft and full of empathy. "You didn't ruin anything, Luna. You're not a mistake or a burden. You're a gift—a beautiful, talented, incredible woman. If they can't see that, then that's their loss.”

As my tears subside, I pull back, wiping at my face with a shaky hand. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to turn this into a therapy session.”

“It’s okay, we trauma dumped on each other. Guess you’re stuck with us now,” Sebastian jests, and with something as simple as that we are all laughing again.

“Not everyone knows you two are together, do they?” I ask. Their gazes snap to mine. The silence in the room is deafening, as we just continue to stare at each other. The thumping in my heart finally calms as they give me a subtle nod.

I lean forward, curiosity piqued. "Why keep it a secret?"

Xavier sighs. "When we first started out, our agent warned us that being openly queer might limit our opportunities.”

"We were young, dumb, and broke," Sebastian adds. "So we agreed to keep it quiet, just until we made it big."

"Then by the time we 'made it,' it felt like we were living a lie," Xavier continues, shaking his head. "We didn't know how to come out without it seeming like a publicity stunt."

I nod, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and out of place. "And then I came along, complicating things further. How am I supposed to fit into all this?”

They exchange a glance before Sebastian speaks. "You didn't complicate things, Luna. You made us realize we were tired of hiding."

"We want to be open about who we are. All of us," Xavier says firmly.

I feel a lump forming in my throat. "I want that, too, but…"

"But what, baby girl?" Xavier gently squeezes the inside of my thigh.

My breath catches as I force myself to get the words out now, before I can’t anymore. "I got scared. After that video went viral, seeing all those hateful comments... I panicked. I've been hurt before, betrayed by people I trusted. I convinced myself it was easier to run than to risk getting hurt again."

"We're not going anywhere, Luna," Xavier states. "We want you with us, if you'll have us."

Tears prick at my eyes. "I want that, too. I'm sorry I disappeared. I'm not used to this. I told myself I didn’t need this, that I was fine on my own."

"Well, get used to it," Sebastian says with a soft smile. "Because we're not letting you go again."

I lean into their touch, feeling my heart pulse harshly against my chest, chasing away the chill of my parents' rejection. For the first time, I begin to believe that maybe, just maybe, I deserve more than the scraps of affection I had been given. Maybe I wasn't a mistake or a burden. Maybe I was someone worth fighting for, worth loving.